Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Dulciana on January 05, 2016, 09:30:45 PM
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What would people here think about flying to the Far East and back, alone? Would you do it, the way things are just now? I've been invited for a specific purpose and I don't know what to do. Hubby doesn't think it'd be safe for me to go alone. :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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I've travelled to New Zealand my myself a couple of times that was fine - but that was in Business class where things are much easier, less queueing and waiting for luggage, better food & wine as well! It depend where in the Far East, I would feel happy about going to Singapore but I couldn't comment on anywhere else as I haven't been ::)
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If I was being met at the airport by someone I knew, then yes. Far more wary now of arriving and having to deal with onward travel on my own.
Bramble
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Yes without doubt.
My daughter lives in far east so I have to go. The first time alone is a bit scary, but it doesnt need to be, its all regimented for you really. I would be more concerned trying to travel across London, underground etc.
Once you are at the airport, relax, enjoy the shops, look out for your boarding details, find seat, relax ,watch a film and then get off, and hopefully be met by someone.
I think we have to get on with these things and not let recent, historiical events distract us frim living.
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Thanks so much, Bramble and Limpy. I would certainly be met when I got there. The worry is the flight and the airports and who might be of ill-intent around these places. Oh, this is a very difficult one. If I go, Hubby and daughter will be worried. If I don't go, I could be kicking myself. (Chance to give a concert in another country.) I really don't know what to do. And I'm not expecting anyone to be able to give me an answer. It just helps to share it with all you helpful people here............ ???
And thanks Milly - food for thought........
My Dad's been to the Far East, alone, from the UK, lots of times. He was fine. But that was then.
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Is there no possibility for DH or friend to come with you on this trip?
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Hmm......I hadn't thought of that, Ju Ju. Thanks.......maybe.........
Dulciana
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I would go! In fact I´m already packing my bag ;D
Seriously, if we worried all the time about what might happen we´d never do anything. The chances of anything bad happening are actually very small, you have more chance of being run over in UK.
In 2011, aged 54, I embarked alone on a 5 month trip round South America. Most of it was unplanned, I just went with the flow. In Venezuela, one of the most dangerous countries in the world apparently, I met the man who is now my partner, and now I live here! The power of love... :wub:
So if anything happens, it will be something good. Ok, make your plans, maybe take someone with you and enjoy it. There will always be someone to help you if you get stuck.
J x
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Take your OH and some time on at the end and make a holiday of it?
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Perhaps Dulciana's DH should go with her to make sure there's no hanky panky, grumpyjane? ;D
I may be flying to the USA to see my son on my own later this year. Even though I have done this trip a lot with DH and there are no real unknowns, I will find it a challenge to do it on my own, so I understand your fears Dulciana. My niece travelled round the world on her own, including the Far East and South America on her own, so I feel a right wuss.
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I try to accept that airports are very safe places now, high security etc, and an enclosed area with everyone with a purpose...not really bothered about anyone else, just focussing on their own travel plans.
Having done this regulary for 10 years, it is more challenging as I get older,and I do think menopause, post menopause ,makes me more anxious which infuriates me as its unnecessary
When my husband travels with me, I do switch off somehow, but he irritates me when he takes charge as if im helpless..lol..he cant win!
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No, but that's just me and my anxiety. My husband is going on a long haul trip next year to visit family and we already know that I will not be able to cope with it so our son is going with him.
Hope you reach a place of peace about this Dulciana x
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If I go, Hubby and daughter will be worried.
Mmmm - Not sure if I'm remembering this correctly but is this the same Hubby who initially didn't think you should do the Poulenc........................
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If it's terrorism you are concerned about, just remember that people have been killed in schools, universities, shops, restaurants, offices and concert halls. Nowhere is guaranteed safe. And more people die ever year in car accidents than plane crashes or from a terrorist attack.
I've no experience of travelling in the Far East, but I did travel to NZ on my own which I was terrified about doing as the furthest I'd ever travelled on my own before had been two hours by train within the UK! But it was fine. Airport staff are usually helpful toward inexperienced travellers. Just make sure you check the rules regarding what you can take/how much - I noticed staff were much less friendly toward people who kept breaking the rules! If you're unsure of anything, just ask - I found a smile and an 'I'm sorry, I'm not used to travelling, please can you help' worked wonders! I would also check dress/behaviour standards etc for the countries you are visiting/travelling through - it helps if you can avoid anything that would seem to show disrespect to their culture - after all, most of us feel more helpful toward those who don't offend us!
I had 2 changeovers on the way out and 3 on the way back. In each airport, I found someone who could point me in the right direction (it also helps to chat to passengers near you on the flight, as you are bound to be near someone who is an experienced traveller).
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If I go, Hubby and daughter will be worried.
Mmmm - Not sure if I'm remembering this correctly but is this the same Hubby who initially didn't think you should do the Poulenc........................
The same......! :)
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Have a talk with the Foreign Office, go into a Travel Agents and voice your fears? Are there others headed to the same Concert going who you could join up with somewhere along the journey. If you are being paid to travel could you afford for your DH to go with you, as suggested? Speak with the air-line you are thinking of travelling with.
The answer to your question is 'no' - ::): DH and I are joined at the hip and do almost everything together ……..
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Dulciana - Whereabouts would you be going?
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Grumpyjane - read your reply late ::) ……. crikey :medal: did you write the book yet?
I wish my anxiety would go away: I want to see the Italian Lakes however; at least with anxiety threatening every plan I try to make we have money in the Bank ;D - I wonder if we would have sold up at retirement and travelled in a larger camper ………. :whist: sorry bit of a meander ……..
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How about hiring a large camper and driving to the Lakes?
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quote author=CLKD link=topic=30583.msg485062#msg485062 date=1452099975]
Grumpyjane - read your reply late ::) ……. crikey :medal: did you write the book yet?
[/quote]
Haha CLKD, you're not the first to suggest that! :lol:
I'm lucky in that I don't suffer such bad anxiety as some of you. I can imagine it would make travel difficult. But if it can be overcome, it would be a great confidence boost. :clapping:
J x
(My problem is obviously dealing with "quote" ) aaaaargh!
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Dulciana - Whereabouts would you be going?
Malaysia, Limpy.
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Dulciana - Whereabouts would you be going?
Malaysia, Limpy.
Hmm difficult - Would you be staying and performing with local people?
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I totally understand the dilemma - but.......you have mentioned that you might regret it. I would explore all possible options of how to feel more comfortable about doing this before you say no. It sounds like it is a fantastic opportunity that has potential to 'fill' you up.
Terrorism of course is a worry, but.......I think it is everywhere and as others have said the travel aspects is well controlled and if there is a company organising things at the other end it sounds as though you will have a well organised and somewhat 'protected' trip.
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A difficult decision. I don't think it would help to take DH with you as this would mean both of you would be involved should a terrorist incident take place! These are the latest guidelines from Gov UK re travel to Malaysia https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/malaysia/terrorism.
Taz x
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Ohhhhh............I don't know. :-\
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It sounds as if this is not so much a fear of travelling on your own, but rather the general safety of travelling to a country where you may be at risk. This is not just because of lack of confidence or anxiety related to your thoughts but to what is happening in various parts of the world. You need to get more information both about the real risks and about the organisation of your visit and the concert, before you make your decision.
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Just a thought, but I think you're probably safer on long haul air travel than you might be, say, travelling through one of the mainline London railway stations. Is your Far East country one where there have been terrorist incidents? I actually can't see how having two of your there would make it safer from the type of problems it seems your husband is envisaging. If you did this and by yourself - what an adventure! You'd feel really good about yourself and what you can do...
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Malaysia ……….. GO FOR IT! contact the Travel Agent and Malaysian Embassy ……..
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Will you be with locals out there? They often have a much better idea of the safety situation than the foreign office!
The foreign office terrorist advice looks scary, but have a look at the advice for some of the other countries that you probably wouldn't worry about travelling to - that looks scary too!
Terrorism is a risk anywhere. Regarding travelling out there on your own - you might experience problems that would be less stressful if you were with a companion, but I don't think you will experience trouble that would be less dangerous if you had a companion. Flight delays and other hassles like that are always worse if you are travelling alone, but a companion won't be able to protect you from major things like terrorist attacks or bombs!
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We already have a small camper …………….. ;)
Speak with the people who are organising the Event?
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It also depends on which part of Malaysia I reckon. You are probably in more danger driving to the airport here than you would be in Malaysia but it's difficult to see it like that. Things can happen wherever you are. If it's purely the terrorist threat which is making you wonder about going then I'd put that to one side and go.
Taz x
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There's lots and lots of food for thought here. Thanks very much indeed, everybody. I'm waiting to hear back from my friend who's invited me, so I've got plenty to chew over in the meantime.
Dulciana
:thankyou:
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Has your friend been there previously? Is your friend a regular visitor there? Do let us know - you'll send a postcard ::)
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She's from there, CLKD.
Would I go without a postcard?? :)
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Are you excited …….. if your friend has her feet on the ground as it were, she'll have local knowledge etc. ;)
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She certainly would.
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Will you require any jabs before you travel? Some need booking by the GP!
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Just to update, folks......I'm going to chew this over for 6 months and then let my friend know in the summer.....Again, very many thanks for all your thoughts on this.
D.
:thankyou:
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It is a big decision best take your time about it.
Also, you need to recoup after doing the Poulenc.
It's quite soon after such a big concert to start preparing for another one.
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It is a big decision best take your time about it.
Also, you need to recoup after doing the Poulenc.
It's quite soon after such a big concert to start preparing for another one.
I agree, Limpy, although we've dropped the idea of it being this year. Problem is now, I've got the performance bug, badly, and I'm really missing it already! No hope, is there.......? ;)
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Over the years I've done loads of business trips alone. Most have been uneventful whilst others have been, well, character building ;) Now I have the opportunity to visit various friends who are spread far and wide, and really can't face the flights :'(
however if the idea of flying doesn't fill you with fear I'd say go for it, especially if you have someone local who knows the area.
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'The regrets in life are the risks we dont take'!!!
Clio
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Perhaps a MM performance, Dulciana? And you could accompany the MM choir! Not sure how that would work over virtually! Seriously, I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing I could hear you play.
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What would people here think about flying to the Far East and back, alone? Would you do it, the way things are just now? I've been invited for a specific purpose and I don't know what to do. Hubby doesn't think it'd be safe for me to go alone. :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
I would be fine if I were being met by someone. I wouldn't want to travel around alone on holiday there. I would probably go with a firm like Explore. Most of my travel is solo but that is in Europe.
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Perhaps a MM performance, Dulciana? And you could accompany the MM choir! Not sure how that would work over virtually! Seriously, I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing I could hear you play.
;D
And thanks Ju Ju!
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Over the years I've done loads of business trips alone. Most have been uneventful whilst others have been, well, character building ;) Now I have the opportunity to visit various friends who are spread far and wide, and really can't face the flights :'(
however if the idea of flying doesn't fill you with fear I'd say go for it, especially if you have someone local who knows the area.
I'm okay about long-haul flights, getting_old, as I flew with my Dad to Malaysia in 2014. It's more the state of the world now, that makes me worry.
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'The regrets in life are the risks we dont take'!!!
Clio
You're so right, Clio and that's what's on the flip-side of my worry coin!
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I would agree with Clio - if you don't give it a try you'll be wondering "what if"
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Mmmm...................... :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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Hmm - Don't think Dulciana has said she's not going, she's just going to have a bit of a think........ :)
I'm going to chew this over for 6 months and then let my friend know in the summer
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Yes, that's right, Limpy.
D.
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It's good you have time to think. I thought you might be going within the next few weeks.
Taz x :)
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If I go, Taz, it won't be before summer next year.
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that is when my husband is considering a long haul flight to see relatives, spring 2017. Can't say i like the idea of him going but I won't rule his life with my anxieties.
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Crikey - all those months to worry :D ;D
Do we need Gareth Malone to rustle up a performance?