Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: clio on January 01, 2016, 05:56:55 PM
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Im hopeless, hate computers. My hubby bought me a tablet last christmas and I really liked it however it broke, the charging socket broke and it wont charge. Bought myself a new one today, its a different system to my other meaning my other was the kitkat android one and this is android lollipop. I dont understand most of the things it asks me like do I want google to do this and do that and save this and save that etc etc etc so I unticked them all cos I hadnt a clue what the @@@@ it was going on about. I had a google account so did all that and its just stressed me out to the point i so want to cry and so paranoid about agreeing to the wrong thing and being hacked. Its now back in the box, wireless turned off logged out of account I did try and delete the account but it then started going on about if I did that this will happen and that will happen aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!
I think I should of bought a cheap laptop and get my hubby to set it up with antivirus etc. Im ok with this laptop, I can turn it on and off and fairly confident with it unless something goes wrong. The tablet cost me £100, a total waste of money, Im so, dare I say it, pissed off, sorry ladies not a nice word to use but all this is getting me down, im so fed up, this is one of the things im having counselling about my anger and frustration at getting so panic and stressed and worried cos I just dont understand it.
Im at my wits end and feel so awful.
Clio
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Clio,
Sorry to hear you are having problems with your new tablet. The easiest thing to do is to ask a computer savvy friend or relative to set it up for you. Worst case scenario phone for a PC doctor to come and do it for you. It will be a pity that it stays in its box. I've had to help out friends in the past to set up their pc, laptop or ipad. No experience with tablets but someone you know will know how to do it.
Bramble
Happy New Year!
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I agree with Bramble. You are bound to know someone (or know someone who knows someone) who is IT crazy and would love nothing more than setting up a new 'toy'. It will be like a treat for them! Ask around. Just be firm with them about what you want your new gadget to do and stress that you want it kept as simple as possible.
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Bet someone will know what to do with it. Just sit with them & go through it stage by stage. Technology scares me, but my tablet wasn't too hard to set up. Good luck.
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This is going to sound so bad but I dont even have the trust in someone setting it up for me, they may but some spyware on it or something bad I wont know about, thats how bad my paranoia is at the moment, I have to be able to do it myself so I know its ok. How bad is that?? An android tablet is like a phone and my phone has gone abit wrong and I dont know what to do with it to the point im seriously thinking of getting a cheap oap phone that has no internet and just a text and phone phone. I butterflies of the scared kind in my tummy and feel so angry.
Clio
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All im wanting to do is switch it on and google away looking at clothes shops and just pottering around looking in different shops. I sometimes go on youtube too. I hate having to do the google account which I dont use, I would like to be able to go on this forum and maybe fb but nothing else, im too paranoid to do that. Maybe I should of gone for a laptop or at least a microsoft tablet instead of an android one.
Clio
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Is there anyone you could trust? Family member, close friend etc? You mentioned getting your hubby to set up a laptop - would he be able to ask in a shop or online for advice on setting up a tablet and then do it for you? Or maybe look in the library to see if they have a 'Tablets for Dummies' book or similar? I found 'Laptops for Dummies' very helpful!
Are you getting any help dealing with the paranoia? Only I'm thinking it is going to affect more than just setting up a new tablet and must be so stressful for you. If your OH isn't able to help with the tablet, maybe just use your laptop for a few weeks so you're not having to deal with the extra stress. The way our hormones wander around all over the place, you might find you feel more able to cope with it in a few weeks time!
Hope you find a way through things. Sorry we can't sort it out for you, but we are here for you to shout at if needed! :bighug:
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Dorothy......for the last 12 months ive taken a sudden nose dive. Ive had loads and loads of bad nights worrying about being hacked on my phone and unsure about the security even on the laptop even with antivirus installed. I think it probably started when a charity I support had there website hacked and they notified supporter and suggested to change there passwords, omg I went into total meltdown to the point I kept having to go toilet. I was hysterical pleading with my hubby to help me it was awful, but I couldnt even rely on him to help as I was thinking he would tell me he had sorted it out just to stop me from worrying but really he hadnt and thats my husband!! I have that many password even I have forgotten half of what I have joined and what password goes with what so that another panic. I dont make things easy formyself I know but im so careful maybe toooo careful I trip myself up with it all. Ive started having counselling for allsorts Dorothy, my paranoia, constant worry about have I completed everything at work, the computer, phone, my charity work which I posted about on here I think, I knit and bake for fairs, but im put off doing that incase someone chokes to death on my baking or my knitted items course a fire. I know only too well im must sound like a total nutcase. I went to see doc who mentioned hormones even though im on hrt and have been for nearly 10 years. I just dont know whats wrong with me at the moment but is really bad and sometimes I just cry cos I feel so down and sad. Somes im angry and I rant and shout, I had a bad day in work just be fore christmas and had a spur of the moment meeting with my manager and union, we sat down and I just burst into tears and said I cant cope. Doc offered me pills but I dont want pills to get me through I just want to be able to address the things that are effecting me and making me feel this way. Gosh im starting to waffle now. All in all im in a really bad place just now.
Clio
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Take it back to the shop and explain? Why buy something that's going to be bothersome?
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So sorry, clio, you are going through a really horrible time. It does sound like it could be hormones - I'm on BCP which is supposed to totally override my natural cycle, but those horrible little hormones keep buzzing round in spite of the pills, so it doesn't surprise me that they can cause major problems on HRT.
I hope your doctor is able to help soon. And the counselling. Have you tried CBT? I found the whole process of breaking my worries down into little steps was very helpful. It stopped things feeling out of control so much.
If I were you, I'd leave that tablet in its box for now - it sounds like IT is one of your chief stress-points, so there's no point adding to the worry. Simplify life as much as you can, and when your emotions are a little more under control - and you WILL get there - you can add things back in gradually.
Oh, and don't worry about sounding like a nutcase - it's mandatory for being a member of this forum.
::) ::) ::)
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::) oh good, I'm on the right forum then!
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The lady I have counselling with does cbt and I think we are going to try that. Im beginning to think i should of got a microsoft tablet or small laptop and im thinking that would be better for me when I change my phone too. I should of bought my tablet from somewhere like pc world, im sure they would of set it up for me if I had purchased from them. I got mine from argos, I looked into taking it back but they would only except it if it was un used. I was such a mess last night I went and got in bed, never made hubby his tea just sat in bed feeling sorry for myself, I know im such a drama queen when I get like this but I go hide and feel totally alone and scared. My hubby after many times of dealing with me the wrong way and end up adding to my stress, fear and sadness for probably the first time was super nice and made me laugh. In the past he dealt with me the wrong way and after countless boardmeetings in the bath he remembered to give me space then be extra loving and reassuring and he did just that. When im under that much pressure, stress and fear I always want a puppy to cuddle or any animal (I adore animals) so guess what my hubby did, pretended to be a puppy doing puppy noises and being daft, how cute is that?? He said its just a tablet, dont get down and we look at it over the weekend. Hes even going to give me half the money towards it as the one he bought me broke. In saying all this I still had a very unsettled night which always happens if im stressed.
Clio
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I sincerely sympthise as anything I don't understand also freaks me out.
In the autumn I bought a tablet and had the same problems and issues you describe, plus I couldn't get on with the touch screen and all the stroking and sliding. In the end I gifted it to my daughter who was delighted and I bought myself a good basic laptop, this one, and I am so much happier
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I bought a laptop from PC world and it was a total nightmare experience, so much so that I will never darken their doors again! So I'm not sure going there would have saved you stress! Next time I will either go to a small computer company or ask a knowledgeable friend. Much safer. A small local company/individual can easily lose their reputation and go bust if they get a reputation for bad or dishonest service, so I would always trust a small business which is recommended by locals.
If your counsellor does CBT it would be worth looking into. Meanwhile, keep life as simple as possible. Look at ways of reducing your stress while keeping things that you enjoy in your life. For example, if you enjoy knitting, why not keep knitting but pack the items away when finished? Then, when you are better and not worried about what might happen with them, you will have a nice stash of knitted items to use however you want. Would you worry less if you knitted for a charity (dog blankets for a pet rescue, hats and scarves for a homelessness project or Operation Christmas Child)? That way, the 'responsibility' for giving the items to those who would use them rests with the charity, not you, so maybe you would worry less about what might happen.
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You could pass this onto a Charity so that it is out of your life.
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I think if you buy one from JL you can pay a small amount for them to set it up.
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I tried to set up a Twitter account yesterday but I did something wrong with the "Follows" bit and had a whole lot of stuff about people and things that didn't interest me, showing up as soon as I logged on for the first time. I only wanted to follow one specific topic and I ended up with everything flooding in. So I deleted my account and I'll start again when I'm feeling brave! But I have an idea of how you must be feeling, Clio - it made me feel very on edge the whole of yesterday afternoon and I wish I'd got some help with it in the first place. I will get help when I have another go at it.
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Thankyou all for the replies, im going to look into getting a small laptop, ive had a laptop of my own once before and dont remember a problem setting it up. If I remember you dont have to have an account like on android you have to create a google account and agree to this that and the other. I will be so much better on windows I think, im thinking of going into pc world and ask them to show me how the window 10 works as my old laptop was vista and as far as I know windows 10 is the latest. Also I will ask for a demostration into how to set it up so if I dont understand or dont like the look I know not to buy it. If it looks ok and im happy with it I will buy one however the tablet cost me £100 so im going to take the money out of the money I put away for birthday presents and tell people im no buying birthday presents this year as im not prepared to fork out again out of my own money so other people can do with out. This is the point where I get angry and bitter as im so cross with the stupied google people making what should be straight forward difficult. I dont recall having to create a account with windows, if i remember rightly it was alot easier than bloody android. When i get in this state theres no reasoning with me and my anger escalates into other stuff which i dont usually say anything as not want to upset people but i get soooo angry why should I be the one to feel so bad by protecting other peoples feelings for example, when my parents ask me what was on my wish list i wanted a little bronze sculpture of either the bunny, hedgehog, squirral, badger or the large mouse with accorns, a choice of 5 and i got one i didnt want. Plus i got 4 calenders in total who the bloody hell needs 4 calenders. I would much rather not exchange presents and spend the money on stuff I would like, buy my own presents.
My hubby has just come from work and was going to look at the tablet but I told him i dont want it which he replied can he have then, I said no it cost me £100 which he replied he gave me £50 which is true, however, why should he get a brand new tablet for £50 when im out of pocket of £50 plus still no internet unless I go on his laptop!!! Yes I really am a nightmare when im this mood.
My foul mood sometimes gets as bad as before I went on hrt, my blood was a constant boil and I could easily wipe the floor with anyone that crossed me. That still does happen often but not as often as before. I wonder if I should have my hrt reviewed as ive been on this one for 8 or 9 years.
Clio
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Dulciana, I had ago at joining twitter, big mistake, another thing I didnt understand then got into a panic to try and delete it. Never again. Ive tried to delete my google account I had to set up on this new bloody tablet but then it like threatened me saying things like if you delete your account you will lose this and that and this will happen and that will happen. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( ??? ??? ??? ??? ::) ::) ::) ::) :o :o :o :o >:( >:( >:( >:(
Clio
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Sorry to rain on your parade but you will have to set up a Microsoft account on a Windows laptop!
Bramble
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Clio - do you run a his and hers account then ………… :-\ - if my DH offered to meet me half way I would jump at the offer, however, our money comes out of one bucket ;)
All technology needs 'setting up' ::)
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CLKD...im just grumpy however we both put into a pot but always have some money of our own to do as we wish. I dont remember setting up an microsoft account Bramble. More investingating i think. Ive just been looking at phones, there are some to put it bluntly idiot proof ones called dora phone easy and they do smart phones too, they look good aimed at OAPs they look interesting even though the smart phones are android it dosnt look like you get bombarded with stupid questions I dont understand. Ive just looked at a windows phone being set up on youtube....not keen havnt a clue what hes going on about.
Clio
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Go to a store that will support your questions ::)
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I got a Doro speakeasy phone and I had trouble with it so sent it back. all technology needs some degree of attention. There is nothing that you can just plug in and go.
I had to set up a google account on my tablet (that I gave to my daughter) and I have not had any trouble with the account. It just lies dormant now.
I adjusted to a Windows 10 laptop from an old Windows XP one and it was ok but not without issues and some stress for me in the beginning until I fathomed it out. Everything needs a degree of cognitive input but once it it up and running it is fine.
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Just an update, ive taken tablet out of the box again and had a play with it, just getting use to it now as long as it dosnt do anything stupid i dont understand. Still not confident enough to go onfb or log into this site so I just google away on it. Had a counselling session about my fear of the computer and internet which helps a little. I want to thank you all for your posts it really is reassuring to know that I and anyone can post a problem on here and there is always someone kind enough to try and help.I got up extra early today so I could catch up on here and fb on the laptop, for some reason I feel less stressed on the laptop.
Clio
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It's great to hear things are going a bit better for you now - I think that is a really sensible idea - keep the laptop for main use now, and just play with the tablet when you feel able to. Then you can use it more when you are more confident and feel more comfortable with it. If I'm allowed to pinch another person's words...little steps!
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Oh Clio, I so empathise. I dread having to replace anything these days, everything has become so complicated and there are so many different ways to achieve the same thing.
My son was helping me move photos from my iPhone (full up)to the lap top, I opened my notepad where I had a crib sheet of instructions, he was busy doing it his own way, didn't seem remotely intuitive, he did go through it again with me, but it just didn't feel logical, so I'm not confident I'll be able to do it next time.
I worked in a library until a year ago, people always assume I'll have super duper IT skills, I manage to help friends or my Mum with simple stuff (and they think I'm so clever!) but I need help when anything goes wrong or needs setting up.