Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Dandelion on October 13, 2015, 05:26:03 PM
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Most of the women I know, have 'gone through' meno with just a few flushes and no hrt, and increasingly irregular periods until they stopped.
This is probably why doctors think that meno is something you 'go through' and 'get out the other side ok'
My two sisters have had no problems.
I am not having any now I am on hrt.
Quite a few women suffered with normal periods, ie pmt, pain, etc etc, and I was very lucky, other than a small amount of pain when I first started my periods (alleviated by paracetamol) I had no problems, no pmt etc, so I was looking forward to meno, as I thought it would just mean that I would eventually be period-free and feel a bit hot.
I was very surprised how much meno was a problem for me, before my hrt. I didn't even know I was menopausal as I was still getting periods, and while I was getting flushes since age 42, I didn't know they were meno flushes, I thought they were side effects and withdrawal effects from other medication that I was taking at the time.
I think that meno problems are not taken very seriously by the population at large, and as I said, I didn't realise how bad it could be.
I know there are women worse off than me, but the point of this post was just to say that as far as I can see, most women don't have problems, and the ones that do, are not taken seriously by people, except other women who are suffering really badly.
That is, with the exception of this site.
I feel sorry for those women who suffer really badly, but for whatever reason, cannot take hrt, and I feel sorry for breast cancer sufferers who have to go through two menos.
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I had really bad periods almost from the off-set :'(. Fortunately my meno journey has been OK ……
It's that GPs don't recognise or validate menopausal symptoms, after all, who knows our body the best ::)
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I think you're right - also the reason so many women with major period problems struggle to get help, because nearly all women suffer a little discomfort, so the idea is that you are experiencing the same mild problems as everyone else but just making a huge fuss about it. Mine were having a major effect on my life by my mid teens, but GP after GP told me period problems were a fact of life and I should 'take an aspirin' - I was 30 before I got any real help - from a GP who took time to listen to my symptoms and told me they were way beyond the bounds of 'normal'. Glad I didn't have to wait so long to get help with peri!
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I had flooding; intense pains; nausea; dizziness ………. loss of College days, loss of work days. At the age of 16 I went on The Pill. Helped a lot.
Fortunately my current GP is 'up' on menopausal problems.
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I suffered from day 1, way back at age 13. Periods never regular, apart from short time I was on the pill. It was found that my hormones were haywire. Was told that becoming pregnant could be difficult as I had high pro-lactin levels. However, I did fall pregnant. Thought things would settle after that, but no. Ended up needing fertility treatment to fall pregnant again. Had ectopic pregnancy before having son. Periods were still haywire & in pain 24/7. So hysterectomy in mid 30's.
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I really think the vast majority of women do just fine. We only end up on MM because of issues but a lot of those are ageing as well as hormonal.
I had painful periods as a teenager, lots do. I had PMT to an extent through my 20s to my 40s...again who doesn't.
I try not to dwell as it does no good at all but I have been very grateful for this forum to know I'm not alone in the meno/ageing difficulties that we have.
Honeybun
X
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I don't really know many other women who have been through meno, my closest friend went on hrt at the first sign of any problems and is still on it at nearly 69. She does complain of some symptoms that I would think are hormonal though. For myself I had never heard of peri meno and just thought menopause meant no more periods- how wrong was I! HRT was not an option for me for medical reasons but I have been lucky that citalopram has helped with hot flushes and anxiety- and it was through posts on this site that I heard ADs might help. I still take 10mgs daily. For those who do have meno problems this site is wonderful as it's easy to feel you are the only one and hard to distinguish sometimes between hormone issues and ageing., not just for us for for GPs as well so the experiences of people on MM is really valuable.
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It is not something that I discuss with friends :-\ ……. they don't seem to want to talk about it.
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I am another one who has been fortunate to have no real trouble with periods with the menopause I thought I would get a few hot flushes and periods would stop, can't believe how the preimenopause affects day to day living, people must be fed up of hearing me go on about it so I try not to, thinking of hrt route now, would just like to feel a bit more like my old self.
Just to add that I to appreciate the forum it is reassuring to read of others experiences
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I had really bad periods almost from the off-set :'(. Fortunately my meno journey has been OK ……
It's that GPs don't recognise or validate menopausal symptoms, after all, who knows our body the best ::)
Thank you CLKD, that's a brilliant point, doctors don't recognise or validate meno symptoms.
The sad irony of it is, that the doctor who I had difficulty with, regarding procuring utrogestan, was going through the menopause herself, and said that she had never heard of utro, and I would just have to 'go through' meno, and put up with the flushes, with a total absence of empathy, on just how intolerable the flushes in themselves can be.
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I didn't have many period issues all my life....last period at 49.....few hot sweats, thought this is what menopause is all about....aged 52 was hit overnight by every symptom going.....doctor of many years refused to give me hrt....eventually saw another doctor who did give me hrt...now 5 years down the line see Nick Panay in London.
My friends have all finished their periods with little or no problems. There is a work colleague who has had a similar journey to me and we swap stories. Finding this forum has helped me enormously over the years.
Lesley x
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I was one of the lucky ones who never really had bad periods. Just a bit of tummy ache.
Everything changed after a miscarriage aged 40. Downhill from then on! My symptoms have nearly all been physical, yet none of the obvious ones like flushes. This led to anxiety, especially health anxiety. I am quite a tough nut, hadn't been to the docs for seven years before all this, and initially struggled to accept hormones could cause my body to react in such an extreme way. I didn't tell many people it was due to hormones as I felt they'd think I was making a fuss over nothing, something 'natural', when in fact I was struggling to walk, and in one instance had no feeling in my hand/arm on one side. Yes, meno and hormones are natural, but for many on here, their 'natural' setting has malfunctioned!
I do think the fact I have a hormone imbalance rather than meno is significant (fsh normonal but estrogen was at a post meno level). Mum had a straight forward meno at 59 so she's not very sympathetic, in fact I suspect she thinks I'm pathetic, and my friends are all still having babies so, like so many here, I feel very isolated - thank goodness for you guys ;)
I try to be positive and 'get on with life' but it's not easy when a banging migraine, nausea or crashing fatigue strikes. I think we have to learn to try to enjoy the good days and ride the bad days - I just have to say no more often and accept that some days, I won't achieve as much as others. I am allowed to feel rubbish on these days, just as I would if I had any other illness or body malfunction. I am also learning, as Honeybun points out often, there is no perfect cure. It's rare that HRT or the pill (or whatever alternative or therapy etc. you take) turns you back to the person/body you were before. It just keeps you in the right direction! X
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I agree with Briony's last paragraph.
I was okay before having my daughter, I got PND then which took a few years to sort out. Then at age 45 started with dreadful insomnia, anxiety, other physical issue's - had no idea what was going on, till I looked up one of the natural remedies I was taking and followed link to this forum. My GP's were no help at all, treated me like I was bonkers and just wanted me out the door.
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"just wanted me out the door"
That really sums it up well Lynda :o
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SadLynda - did you know there's usually a huge link between having PND and then going on to eventually experience peri menopausal anxiety/mood swings too?
When I told me consultant I'd always had PMS and also had PND they told me I was almost 'guaranteed' to suffer with anxiety and depression during peri menopause. Which was nice.
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Also, I think women genuinely FORGET how rough they felt.
I'm still hip deep in peri menopause, but when I get my usual 2 week 'good stretch' each month I find it very, very hard to remember how very low and anxious I had been feeling only a few days before.
I know for a fact my Mum suffered dreadfully with sudden on-set anxiety/mood swings as she went into her 40s. Symptoms only disappeared 'magically' when she had to have a hysterectomy at 43 and went onto HRT. I have very clear memories of my Mum being tearful. Of her having to walk and walk and walk around the roads where we lived 'to let off steam'. Once my Dad had to call out the emergency doctor, in the middle of the night, because she was so distressed.
But, now 30 years later she genuinely would argue that she ever suffered with anxiety/mood swings. It has faded so much from her memory to the point where it barely happened.
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That's very true GRL. I would forget my PMT until the next time so if I went to the GP I really had nothing to discuss, until the next time.
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Gypsy that is so true, iv had the lot pmt postnatal and awful meno and breast cancer thrown in so cant have hrt!! All through my forties on hrt i had breakthrough symptoms nausea, daily headaches upto 2 weeks ago etc etc but hrt did take the edge of. I am now having to up my AD to help with low mood crying spells - low estrogen. hormones are very underestimated re their traumatic effects on some people. Also there are those women who develop anxiety/depression etc because of peri/meno but dont relate to hormones being the cause! I have a friend who says she has had no meno symptoms but she really lacks motivation and complains of aches and tiredness.....meno???
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I can truly understand how this 'forgetting' can so easily happen.
For the last week I have been 'good' and can honestly barely remember how dreadful felt only 9 days ago. It's like it happened to someone else, and all I can remember are very faint echoes. but equally when I'm 'bad' I simply cannot remember how it feels to feel 'good' and it genuinely feels like I have always felt this low and anxious, and that I will never feel anything BUT this low and anxious.
It is so bizarre. It's one of the reasons why I started keeping a Mood Diary over a year ago, so I would have actual proof, in black & white, showing when I felt 'good' and 'bad.'
And when I'm 'bad' I am convinced I will never feel 'good' again, and vice versa.
I know when I was younger and getting normal, regular periods and dreadful PS every month, each month (without fail) I wouldn't think I had PMS this time. And that in actual fact THIS TIME I was perfectly justified in feeing furious that DH had used the last of the milk, and perfectly justified in throwing a coffee cup at him in fury :o
I would never, ever think or believe that it was the PMS making me feel this way. Until a few days later when I would look back and cringe at how I'd acted. And this would happen month in/month out.