Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: TropicalVon69 on September 10, 2015, 06:14:52 AM
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Having a ghastly morning ladies, I feel like freaking out, screaming and crying.....everything just feels like too much....I've asked a friend to take kids to school and college as just feel overwhelmed and on the edge of panic......waves of wiredness washing over me.....period is due soon and just had enough.....heads a mess, don't know which way to turn....I took St Johns wort yesterday and felt weird and wonky but last night I felt quite capable and chipper....do I take it again ......just don't know what to do ads made me feel worse, hrt makes me feel wired.....any thoughts on evening primrose?
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Hi, I'm sure someone will be along soon with a better reply regarding HRT & evening primrose oil etc.. but I just wanted to express my sympathy - I went through exactly the same thing last week & the week before. Tried Setraline AD & I felt so ill (never again!). Just like you, my period was due & I couldn't think straight; I felt overwhelmed by everything & couldn't make my mind up about a job I had just started. Last night, I felt positive but I can feel the anxiety starting up again this morning - it is almost as if my mind has to seek out something else to worry about. It didn't help that I had a bad dream & woke up at an unearthly hour. I have also bought St John's Wort & took one tablet on Saturday & my eyes felt sore & dry later on (maybe it is just a coincidence?). I know Hurdity mentioned something on another thread that St John's Wort & HRT shouldn't be taken at the same time (not on HRT yet but seriously reconsidering it after trying it last summer then giving up - it's just our hormones fluctuate so much during peri that it is hard to get the right balance. >:( ). Hopefully, someone else will have some more info about St John's Wort & other possible solutions to this wretched anxiety. :bighug: X
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Hi madbloss, thanks for the reply....its horrible waking up so early, I was up at back of 2 this morning and had to take 1/4 Valium n do a meditation to calm down.at 4......I felt quite positive last night too.....early morning waking definitely doesn't help.....sending :bighug to you too....bloody awful isn't it!!!...Why did you stop hrt?.....I felt agitated, wired and angry on it so stopped but there's just so many conflicting and varying experiences its hard to know which way to turn.....think I may just cut down St Johns wort by half n try again...yip, I feel like that too, my mind is racing trying to find reasons, just try to ignore and do meditation it helps me calm xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I am so sorry to read that you are suffering. A lot of ladies have said that their anxiety is at its worst in the mornings and that has certainly been the case for me. I also recognise the way our mind searches for rational reasons to be feeling the way we do when in fact there is no rational reason, it is simply a chemical cascade!
This time last year I was being woken up with panic and palpitations but now my morning anxiety is much more manageable. I am post meno and the change may be a result of using patches HRT or just a natural progression.
I am not one of the experts on the forum but I wanted to reassure you that this does pass and as you know, you are not alone.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Thanks for the positive input Kathleen.....its great to hear someone feeling better.....gives us all hope :-).....and absolutely yes it helps to know we are going through it together....feeling a bit more settled now thank goodness.....chemical cascade is a great description :-)
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Yes, I agree - chemicals/hormones send us haywire! :o Thanks, Kathleen - we need positive news! :).
Hi TropicalVon69, yes, it is a pain! Grrr! Waking up in the night seems to start the anxiety off - I have Valium as well for emergencies. I stopped HRT last summer after a month of feeling fantastic (barely any pms) because, following that, my tummy became bloated, my boobs were extremely sore, my legs ached badly & a certain area became very swollen & sore! (What was THAT about?!). Coinciding with this, I put on half a stone. I was on Oestrogel & hadn't yet started the Utrogestan part of it because I was told to leave it for the first month. I was then terrified of starting the Utrogestan because I get severe PMS & had read horror stories of how that part of the HRT made some women feel much worse. It turned out that my own oestrogen had surged following the first month so that I had too much oestrogen in my system. That's the trouble with peri - it is not easy to get the balance right. >:( The HRT was originally prescribed to me because I had recently experienced spotting between periods & I was flooding. Ironically, the spotting stopped for months afterwards & I only experienced it again recently. I have now been referred for endometrial ablation & will be seeing the consultant on Monday to discuss my recent scan results (there was a small fibroid). I will see what he says. Maybe everything will be much better once we become post meno! :D xx
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Hi madbloss, thanks for the support.....ooh swollen fanj.....sounds uncomfortable....I felt the same taking hrt, scared of the progesterone part...........does anyone have weird thoughts with hormonal imbalance?....today after shopping in asda I had a weird thought .....its like putting 2 n 2 together and making 5.....just weird n scary......having said that I feel weird so.....lol.....laughing but really freaks me out n makes my head woozy (er)......had a thought about a van with tinted windows that something sinister had happened in it.....oh ffs what next!!!
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How are you feeling now Tropical? I know these feelings, I have them for about a week each month - hoping the next time will be easier now I know what they are and that they WILL pass as will yours. I am thinking of starting a diary to record it all so I can look back and see in my own words, and also be able to see exactly how long it lasts and that it does indeed pass.
As for the weird thoughts, I am there too - my head is just 'weird' I have no idea were all this rubbish comes from but its there alright. I am not taking anything either at the moment.
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Hi Lynda.....thanks for sharing, yip coming up to period so weirdness abounds.....I think it's just because of hormones we are more reactive as logic can be a bit offline and anxiety kicks in so a slightly emotionally charged thought, whatever the emotion is just send us off on one and thinking it may be true....have been meditating since I got home from asda so feeling more chilled .......so comforting to know you have the weirdies too lol....no offence obv just great to know its not just me.... :thankyou:
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Yes, I get all sorts of rubbish entering my head during the second half of my cycle and, as for trying to make decisions, that is a non-starter! That is a great idea about keeping a diary, Sadlynda. I have written down some of my thoughts during the PMS stage but it would be better to do it more frequently so I could see how much they change at certain times. This forum has given me more support than my friends ever could as they don't seem to understand & they are too busy with their own lives. No, we don't wish everyone to feel awful but it is reassuring to know that we are not alone! :hug: xx
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Sisters, you are an absolute Godsend.....thanks for the reassurance ....feel so spaced out.....not been able to exercise this week either as have got myself in shtook......cop out actually as could walk but no one to walk with who I feel comfortable with ATM.....thanks again...note to self, walk yourself tomorrow...wish I had a dog..... :hug:....omg we could make a book :o
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MadBoss, I know what you mean - I dont talk to anyone else either.
Tropical, not offended at all - also glad to be in good company of you both. If you lived near me you could come dog walking and snarl at anyone who comes near like I do :) If I didnt do this for a living I would not have been walking last couple of days either, its damn painful just now.
must write, 'dairy' on list for tomorrows shopping and stick to it. Maybe we should start a topic, 'have you written in your dairy today' to be sure we do it ;D
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Writing in dairy is pretty difficult I think, makes a mess ;-)...sorry, just a wee joke to lighten the tone....I've got a diary, haven't written in it yet....another note to self...... Glad I'm not the only one who's snarly lol.....swore at my 9 year old daughter the other night.....not a shining moment and sobbed after....I've never been like this before....I also wish we could all meet.....I am in Fife Scotland xxx
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Sadly, I am down South, far away from Fife :( I wish we could all meet up too. My anxiety has started up big time again this morning as our adult son, who is autistic, kicked off early yesterday evening & was still agitated when he went to bed at 10 15. We spent around 4 hours trying to calm him down. He had recorded an episode of a series he likes in the wrong aspect. (He did go upstairs for a shower & we risked putting on a dvd from a series we had been watching but he came back down again). We could not relax until he had gone to bed, by which time we were too shattered to enjoy the dvd! (i ended up crying). He was agitated again first thing this morning & I had to take half a 5mg Valium as I felt I wouldn't be able to cope (he has calmed down for the time being). There is no college today so I will probably take him out somewhere after I have done my lunchtime job - maybe we could walk the dog this morning as well.
My best friend had not been in touch for weeks after I had messaged her on FB about meeting up &, in the end, I came off there as offensive comments were made about a photo of my teenage niece along with that message being ignored for many weeks. She then texted me 10 days ago to say that she had just tried to reply to my message but couldn't find me (this was after all those weeks but she had continued to post things on FB so it wasn't as if she hadn't seen it. I left Facebook about a week before she texted me). I sent a text back straight away explaining that I had left FB because of offensive comments made about a photo of my niece & asked how her pregnant daughter was etc.). Heard nothing. I then sent another text yesterday asking if her daughter had had her baby yet. I have still heard nothing but I know her daughter is ok as I saw her son-in-law yesterday whilst shopping & spoke to him. I was there for my friend when she had perimenopausal depression 13 years ago (she is 10 years older than me). Feel so hurt by this & think 'What have I done?' This anxiety causes me to 'brood' on things like that but now I am starting to feel angry & am thinking 'S#d her' (we had been friends for 18 years).
Sorry - I just needed to vent! Xx
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Hi Madbloss I understand about your son causing you anxiety, you deserve a medal.....I think I do too....I have been struggling with my youngest this week....s.he flies into rages and feels scared at the moment and has been in my bed, well for months.....I know this isn't helping either of us but she kicked off big time last night too.....I'm ashamed to say I shoiuted and swore at her which makes her worse and me feel like crap......woke up worries, anxious and angry.....I have never been like this as a mum and it makes me so sad for all of us.....I understand your frustration with your friend too.....probably if she's better now she doesn't want a reminder of her peri days or maybe she has stuff happening too......I have found my friends who I have supported for years are kind of absent during the hormonal upheaval right now, I know I have distanced myself from them too....truth is I can't take any of their troubles at the moment and really feel quite low about it.....I hope you have a better day with your son today.......I feel wired but trying to muster up the energy to go swimming and visit my dad......hugs Madbloss xxx
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Thanks TropicalVon69 - it is such hard work being a parent when we feel like this, isn't it? My husband was signalling to me to stay calm last night & this morning because if my son sees I am getting stressed, he gets worse too. Everything gets bottled up & I break down in tears afterwards but sometimes it all becomes too much & I end up snapping at my son, and, like you, feel wretched afterwards. However, I am sure we are not alone in feeling like this. I don't know how my husband manages to stay calm whilst all this is going on but I suspect it is because he feels he has to which isn't fair on him. He needed a beer after our son was agitated last night!
Yes, I think my friend has been very busy but I am beginning to think our lives have been going in different directions for some time now. We have never 'lived in each others pockets' but something feels different. She became a grandmother 2 years ago & I expected her to be busy with helping to look after her grandson - that's only natural (and that didn't bother me) but I feel as if we have 'drifted' of late & she has moved on after having different jobs & forming new friendships. She will have another grandchild anytime now so she will be even busier - I think it is time to 'let go' & concentrate on trying to fill my life with new things to do as all of that has fallen by the wayside in recent years (coinciding with becoming perimenpausal - everything feels like a major effort; even going to the shops!).
Well done for wanting to go swimming - I keep thinking about it but haven't done it yet! Maybe, with the extra time I will have during the week, I should make the effort to take up some form of exercise that doesn't irritate the waterworks! (That's another story!). I hope you have a lovely day with your dad xxx :bighug:
Ps. Our friends may not be there for us but this forum is a lifeline for women like us & we can 'vent' & support each other on here. :) xx
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Yes, definitely parenting is a challenge in itself but added peri stuff.....as you can see I'm trying not to swear lol, its a whole other level....I have a teen daughter the house too!!!.....well, I feel a little calmer coming home after my swim......going to exercise every day as I feel it makes a difference.....just takes stress down a notch and managed to speak to a few menopausal women while there....lol reassurance is great....I know how you feel regarding your friend......3of my friends have had babies in the last year, and yeah, I think it's lovely but feel now that our lives are different.....a wee bit of baby talk is lovely but you know the new mum feeling.....all oestrogen up lol..its sometimes all encompassing .. but I'm trying to find new stuff too to make me feel better and boost confidence....I feel like I don't really want to do housework at the moment but hopefully when my life is more fulfilling it will be easier......maybe its your husbands turn to be calm.....I'm sure before that you found it easier and probably did most of the hard work.....hugs Madbloss xxx
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Writing in dairy is pretty difficult I think, makes a mess ;-)...sorry, just a wee joke to lighten the tone....I've got a diary, haven't written in it yet....another note to self...... Glad I'm not the only one who's snarly lol.....swore at my 9 year old daughter the other night.....not a shining moment and sobbed after....I've never been like this before....I also wish we could all meet.....I am in Fife Scotland xxx
You know I did think that looked wrong, but in a hurry as per. Anyway, I bought a 'year planner' from Asda, its very pretty and will start today.
Sorry to you dealing with the kids at home, I can keep very patient with my daughter now - but no way can I live with her again. I can have a tantrum on a dog here in the day.
I have a long term friend, we have been friends most of our lives, lost touch for short while's over the years but always got back together. We now live close by, but chat by email every day. But had many so called friends come and go, I read in a book on the subject this happens a lot to those of us who are 'too nice'. I have very little trust these days with new people.
off to write in my dairy/diary ;D
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Hi Lynda, I hope I didn't offend you sincerely.......I just got an image in my head of writing in milk and it made me laugh.....not an easy task lately lol.....maybe we need to be more assertive Lynda and not so nice....?I know I have tried to help people a lot but found that when you need help ie meno, not all are there for you....some have their own stuff going on too though I know ...anyway congrats on the planner and know how u feel, our kitten wouldn't stop meiowing earlier n felt like evicting him...too wee to get outside still but if he keeps it up I will be tempted lol xxx
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no you did not offend me, course not. :)
I think we do need to be more assertive, since reading the 'disease to please' book I have worked on this a lot. I am also currently reading 'women who think too much' this is very enlightening on the anxiety front, I am not so far in yet but doing a lot of nodding.
i spent many years trying to help people, got me nowhere - I do not do it now, only on here (and I can be quite selective about that sometimes LOL) and to my old friend who I would do anything for, and she me. I dont take anywhere near as much c**p off people as I used to do.
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Well done to you Sadlynda for not taking any rubbish from people & well done TropicalVon69 for going for that swim! :). I have always had problems with not being assertive enough & being 'walked over' - that happened in previous jobs I have had (especially the last one) & I didn't stick up for myself >:( I know what you mean about not wanting to do the housework - some weeks I just cannot get going with it! My daughter left home in May but things were tricky when she was living at home as she couldn't deal with me being anxious & all over the place. Things are better now, thankfully.
I couldn't be without my calendar/planner on the kitchen wall - I would forget everything without it! :D I will have to look up those books you mentioned, Sadlynda, as they sound like they would be interesting reading. :hug: xxx
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I never had any problems being assertive until I went into peri and started with the random anxiety and depression. Looking back I just don't know how I got through some of those early days and weeks.
I'd already been very strict with our children but unfortunately just as I started with peri their hormones were also gearing up. And frankly I just felt too feeble much of the time to stand my ground with them. Things started to slide and they became quite entitled and unhelpful around the house. They forgot how to say please and thank you.
A few weeks ago my Mum (who really adores my children normally) expressed her concerns over their behaviour. Luckily it was just at the same time as I was starting to feel stronger in myself.
So I started cracking the whip and putting my foot down. There have been some spats and bad atmospheres but I think I'm winning. They're not spiteful or cruel, they had just got lazy and inconsiderate.
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Brilliant Lynda, glad to hear you're more assertive now......its good for the confidence......will look into women who think too much, thanks for sharing......Madbloss my teenage daughter has gone from being in her bedroom 24/7 which worried me to being out at college and 2 weekends in a row....so pleased and takes worry off me too....same here Madbloss, be lost without my calendar.....Gypsyrose.....I have been the same with my girls and just recently getting them to do more, same thing, not horrible kids just got away with too much when I was poorly....I was also more assertive but think stress and peri brought me to my knees.....better than last year though :)....I have the night to myself tonight.....very unusual.....hope you all have a hormonally balanced night xxx
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Thank you :). :hug: xx
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Friendships wax and wane, I found that people were getting on with their routines and not really ignoring me. It was because I was conscious of not being in contact after my initial letters/phone calls that I was sensitive. I have decided this week that anyone who hasn't been in contact during the last 9 months won't be getting C.mas cards ;) - can no longer be bothered.
What was the question again ……… oh, if you have friends who can take the children to school occasionally then make use of them ;). I don't have anyone to help out except Himself ……… so anything that doesn't get done, has to wait until 2-morrow - how anyone can get up, get kids out the door with packed lunch etc. amazes me ;D
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It amazes me too clkd, hence we deserve a medal lol.....this peri malarky should be happening when kids have grown up....in hindsight, with choice I would have my kids earlier........obviously other ladies have other challenges too xxx