Menopause Matters Forum

Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 11:02:18 AM

Title: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 11:02:18 AM
Well I'm on a fretting day today -  feel low and convinced now I have depression -  due back to work on Tuesday after 2 weeks hols...  Still not feeling much better on the ellestee oestrogen tabs - although managed to survive ikea on a Saturday afternoon with out running out of the place screaming I have depression - took quiet a few deep breathes..

So ... The question again... The oestrogen cannot cause depression can it?  Hot flushes gone. Sleeping well - although quite heavy - appetite good -  libido back to normal - just a horrible flat feeling...which then makes me anxious I'm depressed (my worst fear) x
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: GypsyRoseLee on August 16, 2015, 03:27:44 PM
Very well done for facing Ikea on a Saturday, many perfectly 'well' people avoid that one.

I don't think oestrogen can cause that nasty flat, depressed feeling (I am very familiar with it). Everything I have ever read or been told is that oestrogen gives you a feel-good feeling, a sense of well being and contentment.

I know back before this peri nightmare, when my periods were still normal and I was normal, I always knew when I was ovulating because I felt extremely chilled out and contented. It was lovely.

Since starting on this peri rollercoaster I seem to cycle through several quite distinct mind sets/moods. They are

A) A very flat depression threaded through with anxiety which is just horrible and makes me despair (my worst mind set).
B) A flat depression with no feelings of pleasure/enjoyment but virtually no anxiety.
C) A very chilled out mood where I feel almost stoned and don't really care about anything.
D) A very buoyant, upbeat mood where I feel very industrious and feel very satisfied with everything (my favourite mind set).

Today I am currently experiencing mood B. Not good. I try and keep the depression at bay by keeping busy, and today I have tackled lots of little chores. But because of the flatness I don't get any sense of pleasure satisfaction from getting anything done  :(


Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: Limpy on August 16, 2015, 03:38:32 PM

The oestrogen cannot cause depression can it?


It seems unlikely.

However, returning to work after 2 weeks holidays seems pretty likely to make anybody feel down.  ::)


Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 03:45:24 PM
Grl. My god their my moods - just don't think I have the last one for ages...   I'm A today..:-/ with tears of despair... Was B yesterday...  Hope ur flatness disappears by evening mine did yesterday :-)

Limpy - yes could be returning to work and worrying if I'm going to be ok.. Plus my two children have been in Spain with their dad and I was looking forward to them coming home today only to be told they have gone straight to their dads from airport and won't be home till tomorrow :-(

X
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: CLKD on August 16, 2015, 05:56:06 PM
You should talk to your GP about treatment for depression.  Medication can help you see the wood for the trees. 

No doubt you have missed the children and are disappointed that they haven't returned home, is this out of order and 'allowed'?  Should they have returned to you rather than have another 24 hours away?

Worrying about going back to work won't help your mood!   :bighug:

Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 06:14:26 PM
Hi clkd

The kids were happy with going to their dads so didn't want to upset them..

I am already on 50mg sertraline have been for years... Had a blip 5 years ago.. Very much stress related.. Had every reason to be depressed.. Bad marriage .. Dr increased to 100mg sent my anxiety and blood pressure through the roof.. Had to reduce back down to 50mg and gradually got well again.. Left husband.. Met fiancé  - happy days :-)

I was missing days of anti d. For a few years as very well..infact before this peri was advised by dr to come off as no longer needed..

So when had the panic attack a couple of months ago I started taking every day .  I have no outside reasons this time to be low.. It has started with the peri..so def hormonal and also my mindset at moment - fear I will get "ill" ... It's like my mind is tricking me I am depressed but in my calmer moments I know everything is good - if this makes sense??   Plan to access cbt again through private healthcare insurance x  ps when do depression test on nhs.. cones back unlikely... do it once a week...  but i def need to see the wood from the trees.
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: CLKD on August 16, 2015, 07:14:45 PM
If you hit a bad period of illness who would look after the children, is that a worry in the back of your mind at all?

Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 07:33:39 PM
you know now you say that... it does niggle in the back of my mind.. although my partner lives with us i do feel they are my sole responsibilty.. even though he assures me im not on my own - and my first thought when i have a "wobble" is the kids...
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: CLKD on August 16, 2015, 07:37:58 PM
Understandably.  Does your partner have children and experience.
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 07:58:49 PM
yes he has two lads.. really good dad
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: CLKD on August 16, 2015, 08:00:04 PM
So I am sure he will pull together if necessary  ;)
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 08:11:31 PM
yes definately.. hoping it doesnt come to that :-/
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: CLKD on August 16, 2015, 08:19:12 PM
Maybe have a Plan of Campaign?

GPs phone numbers; School contacts; other parents to pick up and take; list of where the children should be and what time/s etc. etc. etc.?  I know here that if a 'stranger' has to pick up kids then a note or phone call is required.
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 16, 2015, 08:29:53 PM
good idea.. i never thought of that ! i deal with all childcare arrangements / school etc... although my daughter is now 15 , my son is only 10.. i can call on their dad if needs be..but generally its down to me
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LellyM on August 17, 2015, 03:54:33 PM
LW44, if you do turn out to have depression it is not the end of the world. The Anti Depressants are very helpful. Mine didn't make me feel spaced out but the just made me feel I could cope - stopped me crying at the drop of a hat!

If you still suspect you are, go and see the doc.

L
Title: Re: I know I know fretting again ;-)
Post by: LW44 on August 17, 2015, 05:54:34 PM
hi feeling much more positive today.. anxiety but im nervous about going back to work after two weeks off.. i feel that i am low because my anxiety has reared its head again.. if it would disappear i think my mood would lift.. already on 50mg sertraline xx