Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Babsm67 on July 31, 2015, 08:38:06 AM
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Hi, I have been reading posts on this forum for nearly a year but have decided, after another 'meltdown' to post. I am desperate for help as I have not felt 'right' since my early forties and have a history of anxiety and depression (my first bout of depression reared its ugly head after I gave birth to my daughter 22 years ago and the same thing occurred after I had my son).. The last year and a half has been hell with the development of severe mood swings, suicidal thoughts (which occur in the week leading up to my period) extreme anxiety, severe PMS, a breakdown, an eight week separation, resignation from my job, development of food intolerances, hair loss, insomnia, night sweats, weight loss then gain, unbearably sore breasts plus I now have spotting midcycle which is merging into my (heavy) periods. I know there are people with far worse problems on this Earth but my life is currently a living hell and I don't know what to do.
My longsuffering husband is losing patience with me and more than anything, I need him to give me a hug and tell me he still loves me but he is not really demonstrative & I end up worse.
I tried Oestrogel HRT a year ago and felt fantastic for 5 weeks then the bloating, weight gain, sore breasts and aching legs started and I had to stop it. I was too scared to try the Utrogestan part of it because I have always had bad PMS & was worried that this would make it worse.
I have now been referred for endometrial ablation to try & sort out the spotting/heavy period problem & am due to start CBT at some point to try and conquer the anxiety. I was on an SSRI anti d on and off for 10 years but then I couldn't sleep without sleeping pills in the last year. Finally, they stopped working. Now on a different trycyclic anti d and these have helped me sleep but my weight has rocketed and I am constantly bloated & constipated so I don't know where to turn from here. Does anybody have any advice - please help (sorry this is so long). Babs
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Ps I also keep forgetting things and have stress and urge incontinence so that has knocked my aerobics on the head (I turned 48 in the Spring). I just want to feel 'normal' and enjoy my life again (so does my husband!). Babs :(
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Hi and :welcomemm:
Glad you have joined us you will find lots of support here ! Someone will soon be along to give you some practical advice hope you find some solutions soon . Not feeling great myself at the moment so do empathize with you.
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Hi dazned, thank you for your encouragement - just hearing from others who are going through the same thing really helps. I have made an appointment to see my doctor next Tuesday morning to get my medication reviewed as I don't think it is helping me enough - certainly not during my 'bad PMS week'. I have never known anything like this. I hope you can find something to help you too. Take care. Babs x
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One thing you could mention is maybe the possibility of vagifem a local estrogen which should help with the stress incontinence. As our estrogen levels drops so do the muscles in the vaginal area vagifem helps plump them back up again,have a look about it on the threads on here.
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hello, I am sorry to hear you are having such a lonely and miserable time. Have you seen the 'advice for husbands' bit? would your husband read it to try and understand this 'new you' that is confusing him?
Take time to browse round the different threads. I always find one to make me feel better about myself.
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Hello MadBloss and welcome to the forum.
This can be a horrible time in our lives and you have my sympathy ( the power of hormones never fails to amaze me ).
We have a lot of expert ladies on this site and I'm sure they'll contribute soon plus you could of course email Dr Currie.
For constipation and bloating you may want to try a good probiotic. I don't want to advertise but if you want to know more about the good ones I can send you a personal message and pass on the information I have.
The choices and treatments may seem daunting but that means there are plenty of things to try and hopefully you'll strike lucky sooner rather than later!
Wishing you well and now you have joined us you won't be facing the meno monster alone.
Take care.
K.
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kathleen is right. I have IBS symptoms but they are kept at bay quite well since I have had one of those live yogurt drinks in a little bottle every day :)
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:welcomemm:
I have had panic attacks since age 3 and my GP gave me Betablockas in 2002 to ease anxiety surges. I have taken Valium on an 'as necessary' basis and now have another emergency tablet for when anxiety floors me. I also take 5mg anti-D tablet at night and morning.
How is your diet? I was told by NAPS to eat every 3 hours, 24/7. At the time (1980s/90s) I had a puppy who needed to pee in the early hours so when I went back to bed, I had a biscuit: she soon learned that there were biscuits to be had on her way back to her bean bag ;). The idea is not to eat more but to spread your diet around the whole day. Slow release foods such as porridge ( :sick02:), bananas and granola can be useful and my stand-by are Dextrose tablets as well as packets of dried fruits and nuts. NEVER for sharing but for me ;). In more recent months I have been buying breakfast bars and will be looking into the quick fix packets which pro-cyclists use.
You may find that progesterone would upset you even more as you had PND and PMT. Are you drinking plenty as that can ease constipation, as can the odd sachet of one of the products from a chemist (names escape me ::) ) - Pharmacists have private rooms now so you may like to wander in and have a talk about what might suit? Senna did nowt for me but since beginning granola for breakfast, my bowels are much improved (we have threads about that here somewhere ::) ).
Vaginal atrophy - another much read thread: for me it was more urine-type infections which actually weren't but symptoms of wanting to wee all the while, feeling sore etc. were due to atrophy of the thin tissues lining the vagina. Felt like razor blades down there >:( but my GP realised and stuck me on treatment - WORKED! Phew. I'll bump the thread ;)
Somewhere here there's a page for husbands. Might be worth you printing it off for your OH as this ain't going to go away in a hurry. We have a buzz word when I'm feeling tetchy, one shout and he scurries for cover.
You aren't going mad. You are hormonal >:( ::) ……….
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... a history of anxiety and depression (four bouts of post natal depression).. The last year and a half has been hell with the development of severe mood swings, suicidal thoughts (which occur in the week leading up to my period) extreme anxiety, severe PMS, development of food intolerances, insomnia, weight loss then gain, unbearably sore breasts plus I now have spotting midcycle which is merging into my (heavy) periods.
Aside from the deletions and the adjustment I have made in red, you have just described me. As I have said elsewhere, have had depression since I was 13 and diagnosed with bi-polar (unmedicated as nothing has ever worked to date). I had a spectacular meltdown this afternoon. Could not stop crying; just wanted to throw myself under a bus or go to sleep and never wake up again. Thankfully, my best friend was here and saw me through it (without him I suspect I'd be in a padded cell, at least, by now). I don't have any answers for you, but we developed an idea for how to deal with my spinning head, racing, despairing thoughts and anxiety about everything. No idea if it will help you or me, but worth a go maybe?
The idea is to write down everything that is racing around in your head - I'm going for the ABC approach, writing down whatever is bothering me for each letter; like A for anxiety, anger and aches - then writing a sentence about each word to pin down exactly what is bothering me about it; such as 'Anger scares me because it is so intense and out of control.' The idea is that once everything is written down I may be able to get more of a handle on it and work out coping strategies.
If nothing else, we're all here to support you, give you a virtual hug, and make you feel less alone.
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Hello
So much of what you have written really resonates with me. I also suffered extreme anxiety and depression after my first baby was born. I spent 2 years on ADs, and though they enabled me to function I felt like a robot.
Eventually I just stopped taking them and actually felt 'better' off them. Some ups and downs but at least I felt human again. I was then perfectly well for years.
Then during the Autumn of 2013 when I turned 42, my PMS (always suffered with it) suddenly got much worse and lasted much longer. Then just before Xmas 2013 my PMS was horrendous but failed to disappear after my period arrived. It just went on and on, getting worse and worse.
Within days I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I was crippled with extreme anxiety and filled with feelings of despair. I had insomnia for the first time in my life. I couldn't face food, only nibbling on dry toast. Xmas and New Year were a nightmare.
I hid my symptoms from everyone hoping they would disappear as quickly as they came. No such luck. I just got worse. I had a panic attack just queing in our local shop and had to wake my poor husband in the night because I was feeling suicidal and desperate.
Then after 3 weeks of sheer Hell I suddenly recovered and spent a blissful weekend feeling normal again. But within a week the awful anxiety, irrational thoughts and insomnia were back and stayed for another 3 weeks. I thought I was losing my mind. Then they disappeared again, overnight, and I had a reprieve of several days.
I saw 2 GPs. Neither once mentioned anything to do with hormones or the menopause despite me mentioning the curious way my symptoms disappear for up to a week at a time.
I spent 6 months on ADs. I felt better but the anxiety and depression kept breaking through regularly. My bad times were really bad. Really bad.
Finalky saw a specialist who told me I was a poster child for hormonal depression and anxiety during peri menopause because of my history of PMS and PND. I have been on HRT for the last 4 months. I haven't reacted badly to the Utrogestan at all. But I don't think HRT is string enough as I am still getting several days at a time of awful anxiety and low mood.
I am about to try taking the Pill as it is more controlling and powerful than HRT.
Please don't feel alone. There's so many women on here who can help. Keep posting, we're happy to listen.
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Any improvement Gill? What set off the crying session? I never wanted to die, but to sleep until the pain went away :-\. I knew it would pass but was oh so scared that it wouldn't :'(.
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I absolutely feel your pain....this morning the depression was so bad I felt suicidal...end of period today I might add....forced myself to go out with my daughter and her friend but feel wired now....anxiety and depression are better than last year but still pretty unbearable especially when you don't see an end to it, so I have started on day 3 of femoston and keeping my fingers and everything crossed for a better day tomorrow....I feel so hateful towards people too, so not my nature...coping with this hormonal hell has been the toughest thing in my life bar none...you have my understanding and sending love and hope xxx
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:bighug:
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from me too ~((cyber hug))
I have used St John's Wort for a number of years but I have been reducing the dose recently to see what happens. My moods are not as stable as they were and I feel more up and down emotionally. I never know when I am going to feel tearful or angry and I feel so negative and grumpy then an hour later I am singing to the dog!!
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I Know exactly how you are feeling and how hubby's just don't understand!!! LOL
I'm on day 4 of trying the HRT Patches as apparently this doesn't go through the liver so doesn't cause so many digestive upsets! I also take a probiotic that has helped a lot with the IBS and I drink peppermint tea..... I hope you find something that helps you, fingers crossed.....
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Not sure if the hug was for me clkd but happy to share it :-)....thank you....bloody fecking hormones.....hope tomorrow is a little brighter literally and figuratively for us all ladies xxx
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Hello Ladies, thank you so much for all of your replies - I realise now that I am definitely not alone in feeling like this. I had hoped that I would be one of the lucky ones who 'sail' through the perimenopause but, with my history, the PMS has been horrendous. I am seeing my Dr tomorrow & will stress that I need something extra during the second half of the month.
GillMojo, I wrote down my anxieties as you suggested and had a proper talk with my husband, reading out what I had written. He had a better idea of how horrible this experience has been for me. I will carry on writing the anxieties down when they arise.
Babyjane, I will print out the advice for husbands as this looks extremely helpful - all men should read this! :-) I am exactly the same as you - my mood can plummet then change so quickly. My husband said I am like Jekyll & Hyde!
Kathleen/CLKD/Robotwars - I will look into the taking the probiotics - sadly, I cannot have the yoghurt drinks as I now have a milk intolerance and break out in itchy spots if I have anything milky - Grrrr.
GypsyRoseLee/CLKD/TropicalVon69 - I know exactly how you feel - my anxiety problems started in my teens and worsened after I gave birth to my children. I had PND, although AD's helped to prevent me going into hospital. I know what you mean about feeling like a robot though - I feel 'not with it' at times. My son was diagnosed with autism just before he was 3 and, as you can imagine, it was very hard for all of us so I never really had much of a break from AD's but, on the positive side, my son has made huge progress and, despite some psychological issues, is generally a very happy young man (he is 21 this year). The dr that I saw recently is reluctant to prescribe progesterone because of the severe PMS, in case it makes it worse. So frustrated as I just want it to end. I do wonder if I will feel better once I get through the perimenopause.
Robotwars - I want to try HRT again but it is finding the right dosage because of the progesterone/PMS problem and wildly fluctuating hormones - I ended up with too much oestrogen in my system a year ago & had to stop but maybe I will be able to try it again soon.
Many thanks again to all of you for your encouraging replies. :-) and the hugs :-) xx
My period finally started properly on Saturday after spotting for nearly a week and a half so I will have had bleeding for half of the month which is no joke. I then will have 1 'normal' week before the whole wretched anxiety business starts again (it seems that my mood dips mid-cycle now).
I find that I am incapable of making decisions and sticking to them - I will panic and change my mind. In the Spring I resigned from my school job (the atmosphere and pressure there was unbearable and I had to get out, despite missing the children - I had a breakdown during Feb/March). I was then offered a job in a supermarket on Customer Services but declined the position after finding out that I would be required to work on checkouts as I felt I wouldn't cope with the large queues. I am due to start at another school next month but feel terrified - I could kick myself for declining that other job as checkouts seem a less scary prospect now but, at the beginning of May, I was still recovering from the breakdown. I have been volunteering through the summer & enjoy this but I need to start earning money soon. Does anyone else have this problem as well? My husband said I would feel this way about any job. The anxiety rears up whenever I have to make decisions like this! Babs xx
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Yep. I have to shop when it's likely to be quieter. I check physically how I feel before I enter a shop/museum/library ….. I can understand your reluctance to work on a check out, I can't add up or take away money so if anyone made a query I would run from the store >:(. You made the right decision!
I use Dextrose tablets to ease the hunger feelings as well as dried fruits and nuts, bananas (slow release). I found the hard way that I need to eat before my body is hungry to stop the nausea = panic attacks. 24/7!
Would probiotics in tablet form be any use, maybe have a chat with the Pharmacist - they have private rooms now. Have a look on-line at Danone for example to see what the products contain for comparisons. I found that they eased my slow bowel. Some drink Fybogel :sick02: ;D - I tore open the packets and poured contents into our home compost bin.
Making decisions: yep it becomes harder. Don't know why …….. I blame 'the strange woman who lives in my house' ;) (see appropriate thread).
Drop by when you need to.
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MadBoss, it was your post that made me sign up here. I feel your pain, and often would have joined you under that bus.
Can you take honey? I used to take probotics and the yoghurt stuff I now have raw honey twice a day and that is fabulous for many a complaint. I get mine from a company called BeeMercy, its very good stuff.
Shopping - I hate shopping, for anyone else that like me, cant manage online shopping as cant remember what to get, I just discovered headphones and music, fantastic!! I am in my own world of either Enya or 80's pop and away from the noise and irritations of the store.
CLKD - also on banana's, two a day and seeds - swear I look like a pigeon with my sesame and pumkin seeds, have this with mango or pinapple in between meals, I used to have cake:) but this is better for me.
Also share anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks ::)
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Honey is nature's healer, a product that cannot go 'off' - it is used for healing wounds …….. Dad always gave us a spoonful if we had a funny tummy ……. it is also good for hay fever sufferers: a teaspoonful every morning and evening of 'local' honey helps ease symptoms: problem is, I forget to start early enough ::). We have a bee lady in our village. What, however, is 'raw honey'?
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Raw honey is untreated and as name suggests unheated too, leaves more in the natural enzymes etc. Tells you about it on the website anyway, there are many other places selling it, I just prefer the BeeMercy one (and no I dont work for them). Has varying flavours of honey too, I am on the 'Carab' at the moment, that is very nice.
seems to be the latest thing after the Manuka craze, only slightly cheaper but same benefits.
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Honey is well, what it says on the hive ;) ……….. not many bees around here this year :-\.
LOVE honey when I fancy it ……… LOVE condensed milk too :-X
Yes TV69 - the hug was for you. How about a group :hug:
See U in the morning!
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There's info here about the difference between raw and pure honey - think I'm allowed to post it! http://www.bee-pollen-buzz.com/raw-honey.html
Taz x
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:thankyou:
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I have never liked honey, it makes me feel sick but my husband loves it. Manuka honey was featured on Trust Me I'm a Doctor last week's programme.
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…….. and what did they say about manuka, anything special ;)
Honey can cause nausea as it's a sudden sugar rush.
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Hello Ladies, sorry that I didn't reply sooner - thank you for the tips about diet & for sharing your experiences. My neighbour (who has been through all of this) recommended that I visit the independent health food shop in the town as they have some good natural remedies (and stock lots of seeds, honey etc..).
I visited the dr yesterday and he prescribed me diazapam for those particularly bad days when I need something extra to take on an 'as & when' basis. I actually felt panicky about going out to the dr's!
CLKD & SadLynda - I know what you mean about shopping - I feel like I 'can't be bothered'. It just feels like a major effort (plus I'm broke because I haven't been in paid employment since March due to my breakdown). I find that I feel 'overwhelmed' if the shop is busy & I just want to get out of there!
All I can think about at the moment is this job looming next month & how my son will settle into his new college as he had issues at his last one & wanted to change (I have to be on 'red alert' in case the college phones me about an incident). I feel sick at the thought of going back to work in a school and wish I could find something less pressurised that fits in with my family. Unfortunately, unless I was to work in an office (haven't done that for 22 years so am hopelessly out of date), everything else seems to involve weekends these days (if they would even employ me with my recent work history). The Head at the new school was very understanding but she is leaving! People might think I am 'lazy' but I do want to work - I have been volunteering for three afternoons per week over the summer as I can leave my son for a few hours during the holidays and he also has a PA who takes him out on occasions. The places where I volunteer are also ok if my son needs me and I cannot make it in on that particular day. I really enjoy doing this as there is no pressure on me but I have to start earning money soon as it is not fair on my husband. So scared that I will 'crumble' & end up back at square one. Feel so 'lost' at the moment with everything that is happening, hence the title 'Feel like I am going mad!' Anyone else been through this work problem because of perimenopausal anxiety/depression/breakdown? Babs
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oh my, you poor thing Babs, you really are going through the mill. This Peri thing is bad enough without all the extra worries. Do hope you can find something to help soon.
I work for myself now as a dog walker, so no matter how naff I feel I 'have' to get up an go, first take my own crew out and then the clients, luckily they rarely say the wrong thing to me and behave quite well ;D BUT I can struggle a lot with other walkers on the bad days.. I do walk in the quieter places in order to encounter as few people as possible. Until arriving here I felt like I was going mad too, feel so much better knowing I am not alone in this and hope you can too.
thinking of you, take care x
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SadLynda - that's how I coped. I took on dogs whose owners, usually friends, were at work. Most of the dogs came home to me so I wasn't under any pressure ;)
Have you accessed the various credit schemes MadBloss ? to see what you may be entitled to whilst you are between jobs? Maybe your local Job Centre or CAB can give advice on this? Be up front about why you have been out of employed work, that way the potential employer will know exactly and nowt is hidden. Typical that the Head of school is leaving, a Term to get you embedded would have helped! ::)
What does your husband actually feel/say about your situation? Oh, lunch time - will be back!
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Hello SadLynda & CLKD, thanks for your replies. Dogwalking is an excellent idea - I would definitely do that if I could! I think someone else round here has already cornered the market though! Getting out in the fresh air with my dog is something I find helpful. I will look into what you have suggested, CLKD - I did go to the jobcentre a few months ago & was told that the only benefit I was entitled to was Carer's Allowance which I already receive. That doesn't cover everything though so my husband has to pay for some of the things that I used to pay for. Our mortgage is paid up so that helps but I can't stay in my situation indefinitely because it will start to eat away at savings. My husband had been supportive about the work situation but we had an argument last Thursday during which he used the term 'Some of us have to work for a living' which really hurt (although I was the one who started it due to the wonderful PMS I was experiencing!).
I have told prospective employers that I left my previous job due to depression - an agency recruiter told me that my references were very good. I don't have enough recent experience in other fields, though, besides schools which I am finding to be limiting. I keep wondering whether I should get my office skills up to date by doing a course (the trouble is, that costs money which I don't have - my husband & I have separate bank accounts). My confidence has gone - Sorry to ramble on! X
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MB - I think a course would be a great idea, do you the world of good too. yes, I know it costs but worth it if it can get you a better job surely?
I am becoming a very strong believer in doing things FOR YOU - something many of us have not done for some time and darn well should. >:(
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Hi there - I did a Level 2 Essential IT Users course with Vision2Learn distance learning which was free. It covered word/excel/powerpoint from memory (which is a bit fuzzy today ;) ) They also do Business and Administration. Pop vision2learn into google and have a browse - hope this helps.
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:thankyou: adult education also gets you into the habit of being with people again ;)
You ramble away …….. 'it's good to talk'
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Hi Madbloss,
I sympathise!! You are not going mad - this is real. Its awful I cant tell you how reading your post made me feel like crying as it was like hearing my life journey all over again. I couldnt take the pill it affected me hormonally , SSRI's dont suit me either. I also had depression after my two children .I seem to do better on natural remedies. PMS was sorted out with Agnus Castus at the age of 40 and other herbal treatments. St Johns wort is good too.
I too have not been working, I was laid off in May it was a self employed part time position which I loved. Its weird as since then my periods have gone awall , extremely painful, erratic , PMS , bloated to the extent I cannot wear anything of mine and have to wear baggy clothes. My bras do not do up because they are so swollen and sore and I am so absent minded . my short term memory is really very poor at the moment. I cant make decisions , I feel nervy and jittery and also have had emotional breakdowns
in front of my daughter , poor girl shes doing a degree , is dyslexic and struggling with elements of her course which needs my support. Her father is rubbish at any challenges - he couldnt cope with me in the marriage when I had depression, endometriosis and severe PMS. Our relationship broke down and we divorced. The thought of going for interviews fills me with sheer horror . I am having severe hot flashes and my face goes so red I look as though I have sun burn. everyone looks at me as its so bright red. this is causing me further anxiety. My joints are so stiff I cannot walk properly - I feel like an old frail lady at times. I tried the herbal route with another herbalist thinking it would help with the PMS and pain but now I
have progressed to additional symptoms and was having to switch this and that and try this and that and I decided to come off it all and see how I go by introducing supplements so have turned to taking Molkosan each morning - its a PREbiotic not Probiotic
my bloated stomach is so much better. I have started taking Magnesium (was also getting dreadful night cramps, waking up yelling in agony a few times a week) these are improving and just this week started on St Johns Wort - also feeling a slight shift there on the moods. My body doesnt like medication and seems to respond better to natural things. Do you think you may also be similar?
I have no idea what I am going to do ref work. I had an idea to go back and start another business - which is still a calling for me but I want to feel better than I do. I need to bring in the money as I am living off my savings and its running away rapidly. I lay awake at night fretting about the future and wondering if I can cope and survive this journey. I have a partner who doesn't live with me so its quite hard .
I joined the local David Lloyd gym for 3 months and its been a tonic. I felt so conspicuous walking out there in a swimsuit with my red anxiety face but I pushed myself and so glad I did . The swimming is wonderful and every one is so friendly. I would encourage swimming to everyone for therapeutic reasons alone.
I am going to see my Gp on Monday to see if I can get some emotional support - maybe some CBT, I have heard its quite good in these situations.
My two close friends are not ones to talk to on this as they are very different in their way of thinking to me so its great to come on this forum and just spill
Your not alone and not mad - just a woman!
Take each day at a time and stay in touch x
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Sometimes it's the coating on the tablets that people react to and occasionally medication is offered in syrup form.
At a time when we should be looking forwards to enjoying 'stuff' all this happens >:(
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Hi Ladies, sorry I didn't reply sooner - had a hectic weekend and finally cleared the ironing pile containing post hoilday clothes from over TWO WEEKS ago! Also applied for 2 retail jobs online on Saturday night (& that took ages).
:thankyou: for all the replies & the encouraging words about doing a course. Thank you too Jorainbow for the info about Vision2learn - I had a look at the website last night & the courses look promising. To do level 2, I need access to Windows 10 (we have Windows 8) so I will need to look into this further. I noticed, though, that there are some other courses on there which would also be of interest eg. Customer Service which would be useful for retail. If I have no joy with the job applications, I may have to bite the bullet & start the school job (I am terrified about letting them down if I DO find a different job) :sigh:
Notgivingin - you poor thing; you have been going through a horrendous time & it is so hard to try & put on a brave front for our children when they need us. My 20 year old son has autism & picks up on the slightest hint of me being upset/anxious - this then makes him agitated so I have to try & 'hold it all in' but it's not easy. I know about the red face too because I have always been prone to blushing & the hot flushes, excess heat & strenous exercise bring it on! At my last aerobics session (before I gave up - waterworks problems!), one lady asked if I was ok because my face was so red! Swimming - it is something I have been considering for months & I just haven't been motivated enough to go (I have been like this about a lot of things) but your words have encouraged me (just need to buy a bigger swimsuit due to weight gain!). The CBT would definitely be worth trying as that might give you the confidence to start up a business again - it teaches you to challenge negative thoughts & boost self esteem. I am currently on the waiting list for it & am hoping the appointment comes through soon - ask your GP or fill in a self referral form (I did the latter & emphasised how desperately I needed it due to the breakdown & other problems). I visited the local health shop & they advised me to try sage for hot flushes & night sweats. I am considering St John's Wort too as my current AD's have caused me to pile on the weight & make me feel very tired & sluggish which is counterproductive as that just makes me more miserable! My former SSRI AD worked for me in some ways but caused insomnia which had been worsened by perimeno so that even sleeping tablets didn't work - that combination also caused my eyes to dry up & become red & sore so I had to stop. It is interesting, CLKD, what you mentioned about the syrup form of meds because I am wondering if the lactose in some meds is a problem for me. I will need to make a list of things to look into/try out.
The other worry about jobs is the fact that my son is going to a new college next month (he didn't settle into the last one) and I may have to rush off from work if there are any problems. I also have a consultant's appointment just a few days after I am due to start at the school job & this cannot be changed (I will be having endometrial ablation at some point & will need a week off work too). That's why I ended up working in schools as the hours fitted in around my son & I could schedule some appointments during the holidays but the pressure & atmosphere at my last workplace was horrible (staff were leaving in droves). This new job is terrifying me because I can see the same problems looming due to a new Head coming in (that's what happened before). The volunteering is so good for me at the moment as there is no pressure & I can change sessions to fit in with my son. I am thinking of asking the school if they would consider letting me drop some of the hours as that wou!d help but I have to be careful! Take care, everyone. Babs x
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Oops, that shoukd have said 'we have Windows 8' - I managed to put in a smiley face with sunglasses instead (How on earth?....). It's that strange woman in my house again! ;D x
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I've got Windows 10 - installed really easily but, then again, OH knew what he was doing so I can't take credit for it!
Taz x ;D
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Hubby is planning to upgrade from W7 to W10. It scares me as I have only just got used to using his W7. My laptop is still chugging away on XP but I use his for banking and shopping and anything financial as XP is no longer totally secure.
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Some are finding 10 impossible to work with, it locks up the computer or the computer won't read the printer ::). Of course, running a MAC we have no problems :whist:
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Hi MadBloss :welcomemm: from me too.
I suggest you have a read of Prof Studd's website http://www.studd.co.uk/ PND is not caused by progesterone which is not around then! The hormonal explanation is low oestrogen - also a component of PMS (ie oestrogen decreases during second half of cycle). Progesterone intolerance and progesterone withdrawal symptoms ( the headache, tension//irritability that occurs a couple of days before the bleed) are different issues - but can also contribute to pms!
Also maybe if you are peri-menopausal could you go on a BCP with bio-identical oestrogen which will control bleeding and hormonal fluctuations? Briony is our resident expert on this! You may not necessarily react to the progestogen unless you are certain you are progesterone intolerant?
Re the stress/urge incontinence and red face - I am 62 and I have both! It doesn't stop me doing exercise though.... I do two very vigorous classes as well as Pilates and wear a panty-liner to catch the stress! Make sure I don't have tea etc in the run up to the classes. I also go absolutely bright red as do some other women/girls (mixed ages go) - -it's the body's way of getting rid of the heat generated by the exercise. Some women get this more than others. Don't give up!
I agree about the local oestrogen to help bladder issues ie Vagifem or similar.
In the long term oestrogen replacement will be better for you than the ADs/sleeping tabs, and will hopefully help ease/help prevent the hormonally triggered symptoms rather than just treating them, if you can find something that suits you. From what I've read you still have to take a progestogen after an ablation (if you take extra oestrogen) but it does prevent the heavy bleeding.
Hurdity x
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>wave Hurdity<
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Hello again Ladies, thanks to all of you about the info regarding Windows 10 - I wouldn't have a clue how to install it - not sure if my hubby knows either! My mind is in turmoil at the moment over the jobs issue - sorry I didn't reply sooner as I had yet another meltdown on Monday evening & was bad last night - I actually rang the Samaritans who were brilliant (I rang a couple of times). Did type up a reply late last night & lost it! >:( I think my husband has realised just how anxious I am about the school job but I am terrified of telling them. However, it is not fair on the school to dither around any longer - I need to ring them TODAY (there might not even be anyone there for all I know) & see if they will let me just do lunchtimes or drop everything altogether. I KNOW it will be too stressful at this time (I hope I don't sound too selfish but I have to think of my health). I can't risk going in there then having a meltdown. X
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Hello Hurdity, :thankyou: for the very informative reply about HRT & the link to Professor Studd's website. I had a look last night after yet another two evenings of meltdowns (typed up a reply to you all then lost it by knocking the wrong button!). So much of what Professor Studd said about hormonal depression resonated with me because I have always had bad PMS, the PND & now the perimenopausal depression. Over the last three and a half years (possibly longer), I can only describe gradually being overwhelmed by a 'creeping depression' as I lost the motivation to do the things I enjoyed, one by one - it was as if I 'couldn't be bothered' anymore. The PMS is really severe now & seems to go on for half of the month. This week was supposed to be my 'good' week but I have still felt very low due to a reminder about a past misdemeanor rearing its ugly head on Monday evening so that didn't help. I think I need to see my dr (again) and ask to have a blood test for my thyroid & hormone levels although the last one came back 'normal' in November (my body is telling me otherwise). When I was around 40, I had this done & was told it was 'borderline' so it appears the fluctuations have been going on for years (I turned 48 in the spring).
I feel scared about having the ablation done but something has to be done about the spotting/bleeding as this went on for 16 days last month/into this month . my ultrasound scan is due next Weds & I am also awaiting the results from my first mammogram (I was selected for a trial of mammograms being carried out on women a little bit younger than usual). If everything is ok, I will ask about HRT again because it certainly sounds as if my oestrogen levels are low - I would like to come off the AD's as they make me feel lethargic, bloated & uncomfortable. When I tried Oestrogel last July, I felt fantastic & my PMS was almost nonexistent - my period was actually a couple of days late which NEVER happens now (usually have a shorter cycle) but, the following month, I became bloated, had aching legs & sore breasts & gained nearly 1/2 stone in three weeks. The gynae told me I had too much oestrogen in my system so I tried halving the gel but the symptoms persisted so I stopped & the symptoms gradually disappeared. I never got to try the Utrogestan part because I was scared that I would react badly (I had read some stories about ladies going through horrendous PMS with it). There are still stocks of unopened /in date Oestrogel & Utrogestan here at home so I wouldn't have to get a prescription for a while but I would want to be given the 'go ahead' first. Thanks also about the exercise advice - I need to get some really good 'Tena Lady' pads because the last time I went to aerobics a few years ago, I was saturated, even with a pad on! Need to think more positively! :) X
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MadBloss we now have a 'positive thinking' thread. It is in the All things menopause bit and called 'accentuating the positive'. It is light hearted and you don't have to join in if you don't feel it is appropriate for you, but perhaps reading some of the posts might give you a bit of a lift. they lifted me this morning x
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Thinking of you MadBoss, I know all about those damn meltdowns, and have been close to ringing samaritans on more than one occasion, just too scared to do that either.
I was thinking the same as BJ the positive's thread is worth a read even if you dont feel up to joining in just yet, but all 'little' things can be positives in your life and they can help.
I just started a topic on pelvic floor in the private part of the group too.
Wish I could help you more, as I totally understand those bad days - take care, and keep posting x
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If you are getting this much stress then walk away. It really isn't worth it!
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Hi, babyjane, SadLynda & CLKD, thanks for your encouraging words. I looked at the positive thinking thread & am going to give it a go - I am due to have CBT soon so I will try to get a head start! I also found a very funny thread from GillMojo about autocorrect on the mobile phones which made me laugh out loud! Cheered me up no end! :lol: x. Still haven't phoned school - MUST speak to them tomorrow! B x
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Go in for a chat. Maybe if you go into the environment again it will ease your mind. Sometimes memories of a place get out of proportion when anxiety strikes ;)
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Thanks CLKD, I tried ringing the school this morning but there was no answer so I am assuming the admin staff are off as well. I am going to have to get myself in the right frame of mind & go in - maybe I can reduce the hours when I have been there a little while. I am worried about having time off just a few days after starting because I need to see the consultant on 7th September during work time (I couldn't get the appointment changed to a more convenient time). Seeing dr on Monday about getting meds changed but wondering if HRT would be better, especially after reading Hurdity's advice & looking at Professor Studd's website. X
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Little steps!
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Hello, I was going to start a new thread about returning to work but I think I will add to this thread because this is connected to it anyway! I simply cannot make any decisions without getting in a panic afterwards. It is driving me (and my poor husband) mad :bang: In summary:
Experienced breakdown early this year - resigned from job as a TA (after many weeks off sick) as atmosphere had been horrible (I would have been pushed out). Hadn't felt right there for three years. (Hadn't felt right full stop!). The children were lovely, though. :(
Beginning of May: I got offered supermarket job but panicked & turned it down. (Kicked myself a couple of months later)
Late May: decided to try for TA jobs as I missed the children & got offered job in mid June (for Sept).
In the meantime I had started volunteer work (mid May) & found I really enjoyed working with the public (used to do this many years ago before the school work).
Early July: Started to have doubts about TA job due to the volunteering & I found I didn't miss working with children anymore. I know now that you shouldn't make major decisions when you are depressed.
I was going to start the TA job & see if I could reduce the hours later on but the thought of going in has been filling me with horror for weeks as I do not feel mentally equipped (still) to do intensive work with one child. Tried ringing the school to chat to somebody but no one is there in the office due to summer holidays.
I have now been offered another supermarket job with the firm I happily worked for many years ago (in the evenings) before my son was diagnosed with autism (I left there to work in an school to fit in around my son) & the atmosphere seems really nice there. It is further to travel & involves working Sundays . The trouble is, the anxiety has started up again - I think it is because it will impact on our weekends as a couple (although my husband plays golf on Sundays so he is not too worried!). It is for only two shifts per week - so less hrs than the TA job. My adult son can be left at home for a few hours so he will be ok (and our neighbours have said they will be there, if needed).
What is wrong with me? Maybe, I am not ready to return to work but will I ever be? I need to start earning money soon - I don't feel my heart lies in TA work anymore but there is this nagging feeling that I might regret it if I take the other job - feel so hopeless. :sigh: Also terrified about letting the school down. I cannot do both jobs together for a short time either as one of the shifts is on a weekday. Anyone else had this problem? This lack of decision making is one of many delightful symptoms. So exasperated with myself! >:( ps. Sorry this is so long.
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Hi Madbloss
I am a TA also and although it is a demanding job it's also the most rewarding I've had.
Can i ask what the intensive work is you'll be doing with your child? If it is this that's worrying you would it help to sit down and plan some of your work so you feel more in control?
Also although the staff won't be in school at the moment the Head will be contactable by e mail. Maybe you could arrange a chat with her this way and talk things through with her?
If you really feel it's not for you don't worry about letting the school down, there are TAs crying out for jobs and the role would be quickly filled.
Good luck with whatever you decide xxx
jedigirl
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Absolutely empathise. Depression and anxiety have dogged my life. Just started Climagest yesterday - first time on HRT (I am just turned 50 and have had symptoms since mid-40s). Here's hoping it will ease for you. I agree - get your hubby to look at the 'advice for husbands' bit. I have only just joined this forum and the first thing I did was email it to him. It also helped me - as it made me realise I am not going mad (even though it feels like it). Glad to have found this supportive forum and keep on badgering your doc to help you - don't let them fob you off. Hope things get better for you soon lady.
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Hello , just wanted to say Madbloss I feel for you, indecision is horrid. When this happens to me I really try hard to find my inner voice and also write a list of plusses and minuses. Keep reading the list as often as possible .. eventually with any luck an answer that really feels true should speak out to you. It usually helps me - hope you dont find this idea it too wacky!
Good luck :) :)
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I can understand your anxiety pre doing anything at all. It plagues me daily. If I do something spontaneously I am less likely to have too much anxiety but i.e. we are booked for a meal this evening and my tummy is tight already :'(. Bugga ……. making pros and cons may work, reading them through and coping with the anxiety that gives you may work enough. i did that many years ago when I agreed in June to give a talk in the October :o as I put down the 'phone I thought "What have I DONE!' - by making a Plan and writing out the script which I read every day it was really lovely to go and share with 20 ladies all over 80 ::)
But oh the anxiety cripples me at times.
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New member here Sweetie, so I am also new to what to do and what can help, but I also couldn't read this without passing on love and ((HUGS)). It is invaluable to have people who understand what you are going through whatever life throws at you let alone during this awful time, so I really hope by bravely posting you will feel less alone. That's an awful lot to have been dealing with for so long. Be kind to yourself.
Much Love.x.
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Hello Ladies, I am so sorry that I didn't reply sooner as this weekend has been a whirlwind of activity & it is only now that I have finally got time to sit down & relax (before I do some ironing!). I spent all of this weekend at an introductory session for the supermarket job. 'Thank you to all of you who replied to my most recent post - I have been given great encouragement by those replies.
Jedigirl - you are so right in that TA work can be very rewarding & I really loved my old job in the earlier years but the whole atmosphere changed after there were changes at the top. I don't want to say too much but suffice to say, staff left in droves & I felt demoralised, sidelined & redundant by changes that went on in my dept. I only stayed as long as I did because the chi!dren were so lovely but I cracked in the end with everything else that was going on & knew I had to leave. It broke my heart to leave them at the time but now I feel it would be better for someone else to take on that new school job that I was offered as I cannot put in 100% commitment. I DO hate letting them down but I have reached a point where I don't want to plan at home anymore - my addled brain can't take on any extras. This weekend, I went for an 'introductory session' for the supermarket & really enjoyed it so I have made a decision to go with that job as it feels right for me. Thank you for your advice & I am going to do an email to the Head & send in an urgent letter. Xx
Notgiving in & CLKD- I took your advice & wrote down a list of pros & cons - the supermarket came out tops but, after today, I knew for certain that it was the place to go to as the atmosphere in the store is lovely & I have met some really nice !adies. I had a 'trial run' today & enjoyed it - I came away feeling really happy. This job leaves me with more time to focus on my son, especially as he settles into his new college. CLKD - you are SO brave! The thought of standing up & giving a speech in front of people fills me with horror but, despite the crippling anxiety, you did it! Well done! :) xx
Runningfool & Vivaflower, thank you too for your encouraging words - this whole journey feels like total madness at times! :D Anxiety & depression are absolutely awful but, by going on here, we can vent our feelings, knowing that many others understand & that we can encourage each other. The jobs dilemma has been horrible but the doubts have finally gone.
Take care & a :bighug: to all of you. Xxx
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:medal: I know how difficult first days can be ;)
Will you be able to take a few moments 'out' if anxiety begins to niggle? Let us know how you get on!
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Well done you for making the right decision for you. Wishing you lots of luck in your new job, you can relax and breathe now!! ;)
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Hi Ladies, thanks again, Sparkle, Jedigirl & CLKD - hope you are all OK. I will look at the forum again later.
CLKD - I have some beta blockers that I can take on an 'as & when' basis so I should hopefully be OK if anxiety hits. My period is due sometime this week (never know exactly when!!) I haven't slept well the last two nights (had nightmares) & woke up anxious this morning so that is usually a sign. No spotting this time so this month must be more 'normal' hormonally?? :o. (Goodness knows!l). The strange thing is, I have actually slept better in the last couple of weeks beforehand. I don't know why & I even nodded off on the sofa which is unusual these days!
I finally had the urge to have a massive clear out of paperwork today - something I haven't done for nearly two years as I haven't felt like doing it. (I always used to do this every few months). I also found a cross-stitch kit in the cupboard that I had barely started then left - where did that person that was 'me' go? I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders by letting go of the anxiety about the jobs. :) xx