Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Gill Mojo on July 27, 2015, 09:28:35 AM
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Reading through the multiple threads it seems to me that almost everyone here is on some kind of treatment. I know I am generalising, but seriously, is there anyone around who doesn't take anything - by which I mean stuff specifically for meno? I really don't want to take anything - and I know circumstances might force my hand - and I would love to hear from people who have made it through/continued post-meno without taking any prescribed meds.
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Those on here will usually be taking something. Others who apparently 'sail through' won't even know that MM exists.
I know I've been lucky. Apart from treatment for vaginal atrophy I've not had too much in the way of flushes etc.. I have been on ADs since 1988 and BBs since 2002. I do get anxiety though which my GP has given me an emergency tablet for.
Do you keep a food/mood diary to chart your feelings? Hopefully you won't need much 'help'!
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Hi Gill Mojo
We tend to get women who suffer more severe meno symptoms on MM but there are probably loads of women out there who cope really well with no treatment at all. Unfortunately many of us on MM believe there are also many women suffering in silence because they believe it is wrong to use or seek treatment or are embarrassed.
I have several friends who have gone through meno with few if any meno symptoms so I always say don't look for trouble, you could be fortunate and get through ok. As meno approaches it is a good time to re evaluate your diet, exercise and general lifestyle choices so your body can cope better. I do think it is important to keep an open mind - too many of us feel a failure because we can't cope with the horrible meno symptoms. We mustn't forget that we are now expected to work till we're 66-67 and often have far more pressures with older relations living longer and our kids needing support for longer as well.
I personally believe it's about quality of life - life is short and if you are not sleeping well and feel tired and irritable most of the time because of meno symptoms then take the treatment and get on with life.
I believe that roughly 30-40% of women have a relatively easy menopause with around a further 20-40% only getting moderate symptoms for 2-5 years. We are all different so be positive and maybe you will be lucky.
I hope others will be along with some feedback. DG x
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Those on here will usually be taking something. Others who apparently 'sail through' won't even know that MM exists.
Absolutely, CKLD! We tend to be the ones who've suffered the most extreme symptoms - and been made to feel 'weak' for therefore having to take things in order to function normally. I wish society would accept that whilst meno may be natural, some people suffer in a very unnatural manner!
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I don't take anything either Gill so you are not alone, nor you sparkle :)
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Thanks ladies :)
I originally came to this site because I have no female friends or relatives I can discuss this stage of life with, and I am learning so much; it's awesome.
I think the worst thing for me is trying to differentiate between what is peri and what is my permanent depression as so many of the symptoms are similar if not identical. I have long since given up on doctors and therapists as none of them have ever been able to do more than hide my depression with zombie-making anti-depressants and therapy that makes me feel worse and due to my negative experiences with that (Over the course of 30+years) I have no faith n the medical profession; hence my desire to get through this without going to see one... preferably ever :D
I guess we will see what transpires ;)
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Gill Mojo - It is difficult to have faith when you have had poor experiences. However there are new guidelines going through soon which should make GPs support us better. I think the trend of GPs readily dishing out ADs has to be questioned so I really understand your concerns. Just sharing things with all of us may help you more than anything else - things can get a bit heated at times as we don't always agree with each other but there is generally a good exchange of ideas and support.
I think it does help to know that certain symptoms are to do with the menopause as this can alleviate anxiety - so many of us think we're the only ones experiencing these awful flushes, night sweats, UTI type symptoms etc. it is a relief to know these things are quite common - that is not to say you will suffer with these things.
DG x
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I'm not on anything prescribed (I just take Menopace) but I don't feel I particularly have to be, just in order to visit this site. Obviously, there are many ladies out there who are glad to be able to swap notes here on HRT, but it's the ability to share experiences of this time of life that attracts me to MM. I think there's room for both.
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I'm not on anything prescribed (I just take Menopace) but I don't feel I particularly have to be, just in order to visit this site. Obviously, there are many ladies out there who are glad to be able to swap notes here on HRT, but it's the ability to share experiences of this time of life that attracts me to MM. I think there's room for both.
Absolutely - especially useful when you're at the younger end of the spectrum and all those around you are more interested in conceiving than night sweats and VA! x
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I agree with you Prajna.
I have not taken medications but that does not mean I have escaped unscathed. In fact one thing that has helped me get the whole process in perspective has been reading and reading and reading things on this website and forum and I have learned things that no prescription could have taught me.
Reading that someone else has experienced the exact same thing that I thought too silly to bother the doctor with reassures me that there is nothing much to worry about and saved my GP from an unnecessary appointment.
One of the best things to alleviate anxiety is sharing with people who really know what it feels like.
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Absolutely, Babyjane. Reading this site has put my mind at ease several times, and I expect it will do so again and again. Fabulous, supportive forum.
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'like' :)
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'like' ………. however, ADs are not a cure but give the sufferer a means of coping … without those and the BBs I wouldn't be here :-\. Most days I wake feeling like my brain wants to continue sleeping ;D but it follows me out of bed and by mid-morning, we are re-united. By evening my anxiety is less (usually) and I am a different person ::)!
I never want to feel 'that' ill again so am sticking with ADs/BBs for Life. Quality of Life is important to me. We do have choices, unlike our ancestors ……… as long as we have a supportive GP! I think that it is best to be aware of what is available for each symptom that we may suffer? forewarned and all that!
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Im not on anything but my aches and pains are horrible, the mood swings and emotions are bad BUT the thing that helps me......is my daily 15 miles on my bike :) Im self employed and work from 8am to 6.30 everyday and Im shattered but still push myself to ride the bike lol
oh yes and im 58 this year.........oh joy!
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Im not on anything but my aches and pains are horrible, the mood swings and emotions are bad BUT the thing that helps me......is my daily 15 miles on my bike :) Im self employed and work from 8am to 6.30 everyday and Im shattered but still push myself to ride the bike lol
Great to hear that, LizeeeH. Playing music does the same thing for me. It's these things you can't put in a bottle!
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I have several friends in 50s and 60s who have never even had more than a slight flush and some of them havent even had that - so have never taken a thing and only one of them ever read anything about menopause so unless it affects you suspect most of the time you dont go researching , would love to know why some bodies sail thru and others dont -
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It's impossible to quantify how much another person suffers during the menopause and to say that those who choose not to take HRT cannot be suffering much, is unkind and unhelpful.
There are other ways to help your body and mind adjust to the menopause and anyone who decides on something different should be given support. Especially on this site.
Prajna, reading back what I wrote (in a hurry) it may have sounded like I was implying those who dont take HRT are somehow suffering less than those that do. Sorry - that's really not what I meant ??? I was thinking more of the many people who were incredibly supportive when I felt so ill I could hardly walk (despite being a fit runner previously) and had to have brain scans - but once they heard it was 'only' hormonal, they treated me in a really dismissive and even patronising way. I never, ever envisaged myself taking HRT as I have always tended to be a 'natural' girl, but I reached a point where I could not maintain my job without some form of intervention. My consultant said, at my age, my heart was at risk if I didn't take it so I had no option. However, since then I have had to endure so many people telling me they 'didnt let meno get to them', 'were strong enough to handle a few badly behaved hormones' etc etc that I have become very defensive. Even my own mother has suggested that I have 'given in' by taking it. It's so hurtful.
I know sometimes I must sound evangelical about taking HRT/the pill, but it's only because I know how much time I wasted initially on ADs, pain killers, anti convulsants, vitamin supplements, EPO etc (not to mention £££s on acupuncture and seeing an osteopath) because I felt I would be judged on HRT. Now I take it (well, the pill in my case) I so regret not doing so sooner as it's the only thing that's given me some form of normal life again. Outside of this site, all I heard were unhelpful comments such as 'it gives you cancer' 'it's not for 40 year olds', so I guess I have tried to give another perspective to those currently suffering, but have been put off HRT.
I totally accept that some choose not to take it, others simply cant. For me, I don't think I could have gone on without it - and regardless of what my friends and family might think, I am finally beginning to accept that I am not 'weak' for doing so.
- But whatever our situation, the key thing is that on here we are all supportive of each other and our personal choices. I really enjoy hearing from those in other situations and would be the first to try any alternative solutions that have been successful for people with similar symptoms to those I had.
Apologies if I didn't make this clear in my first post, B x
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I agree Briony my mum said to me we never had those in my day shes 85 you just got on with it but I was only 43 when I hit meno am now 60 and just weaned myself off HRT after 17 years the GP did say I could go back on if I needed but am on an AD and seem to be coping now. The reason I was taking both at 1 time is I had a complete meltdown and never want to go down that road again. In saying that I remember my mum sitting at the dining table crying her eyes out and ranting and raving never knew what it was till I hit meno.
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Reading through the multiple threads it seems to me that almost everyone here is on some kind of treatment. I know I am generalising, but seriously, is there anyone around who doesn't take anything - by which I mean stuff specifically for meno? I really don't want to take anything - and I know circumstances might force my hand - and I would love to hear from people who have made it through/continued post-meno without taking any prescribed meds.
I'm not on any at all. I have considered it but am a bit reluctant and also had a chance conversation with a GP some time ago in which I was told that the practice didn't really support it. That put me off asking again. That was some time ago and i have since been given the name of a female doctor who might be able to help. My flushes aren't severe though they have become more frequent since my periods stopped. I have had some other vague symptoms which could be connected to menopause but I'm not sure if they are.
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'I was told that the practice didn't really support it.'
this doesn't sound right to me. Surely if a woman wants to try HRT for her symptoms, practice policy should not bar her from doing so.
I have had my share of hot flushes but dealt with them as they arose. Magicool is wonderful stuff. Maybe some women suffering might think I am 'sailing through'. I certainly think I have got away more lightly than some people but I would not say sailing, more paddling I reckon.
If I had not found and joined this forum I could well have gone down the AD route but I prefer the (cyber) group therapy available here which helps me to work it all out. From what I have seen HRT is not always a cure all and can bring its own problems until it settles down.
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Was very ignorant of menopause and after a year of hot flushes thought I was sailing along quite nicely. Then at 52 had a complete meltdown with about 33 of the 34 listed meno symptoms hitting at once. I fought against any help but realised that if I was to function and carry on working that I would have to have something to support me. 5 years on and various hrt's I have managed to carry on working but have found this site invaluable in advice and support - couldn't have done without it.
Lesley x
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Each one to their own I think.
We all have different needs, we all have a different threshold for various symptoms.
I am so glad to see this topic as although I do use HRT for flushes and insomnia....I feel that when some women come to the forum looking for support they have HRT shoved at them from quite a few members rather than being listened to and supported with the choices they have made.
As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.
I really wish I hadn't had to go down the HRT route as I was also into very natural remedies whenever I could. It's certainly not been a cure all for me but in order to function I have had no choice.
Honeyb
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Hello ladies.
I agree with honeybun, each to their own. We are all doing the best we can and that's okay in my book, no guilt, no judgement.
Without various concoctions and treatments over the years I would've died long before menopause struck so just living this long is a success story!
Wishing all MM ladies well, whatever life throws at us.
K.
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'I was told that the practice didn't really support it.'
this doesn't sound right to me. Surely if a woman wants to try HRT for her symptoms, practice policy should not bar her from doing so.
I have had my share of hot flushes but dealt with them as they arose. Magicool is wonderful stuff. Maybe some women suffering might think I am 'sailing through'. I certainly think I have got away more lightly than some people but I would not say sailing, more paddling I reckon.
If I had not found and joined this forum I could well have gone down the AD route but I prefer the (cyber) group therapy available here which helps me to work it all out. From what I have seen HRT is not always a cure all and can bring its own problems until it settles down.
Absolutely. Regardless of whether we take HRT or not, I am sure the one thing we have all realised is the lack of consistency within the medical profession with regard to the menopause. One practice told me they would not prescribe HRT because of my age, regardless of the fact the endocrinologist said I should have it; another doctor would only consider ADs despite the fact nearly all my symptoms were physical at that point; a locum said my problems were definitely not hormonal as I had not had hot flushes (!) and therefore ordered a load of unnecessary, expensive and quite scary tests; FPC pushed the pill; and my current GP said 'visit MM, do your research and let me know what you want to try, if anything at all'. She's lovely. When I said I would like to try the bio identical route and mentioned Utrogestan - which shed not come across - she did some research and called me that evening to say she'd write a prescription. She also mentioned taking sage. Such a contrast of experiences.
If men had periods, I wonder if things would be different?! X
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Each one to their own I think.
As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.
I am aware that I mentioned risks to the heart in my previous post, so feel like this is probably aimed at me. Please can I qualify what I said previously by adding I meant there are increased risks to the heart with regard to people experiencing premature menopause. It's different when you're nearer 50. I don't mean to scare anyone by writing this, but as far as I am aware, it's a fact? Certainly it's what both consultants I saw said and what I have read online?
I find it quite hurtful to suggest I may have written this to scare. I was simply sharing my experience of what I was told. I am beginning to think I should have kept quiet :(
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Oh no, sorry Briony, that was not aimed at you at all.
I should have made it more clear...it's just that it has been mentioned before in other topics that some lean from being helpful to evangelical.
Premature menopause is something completely different altogether.
I'm sorry if I offended and I really did not mean to. I will remove the post if you want.
Honeyb
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Not at all HB. I actually totally agree with what you say hence reason I was mortified when I realised how my post read! (Especially as I am always being told I speak before engaging my brain!). Vivre la difference xxx
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Oh, you and me both.
Hope things are ok now ?
X
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I think too that many ladies are shocked at the suddenness and ferocity that symptoms can over take them! Although we know our bodies women tend to put others first, i.e. kids up in the morning and into school on time, partner has sandwiches made up with his flask; elderly parents need looking in on to make sure they are OK ……. we are generally more mobile than our Grannies in that they stayed home to do house-wifely chores and we are more likely to be going into work as well as the above!
Therefore ladies don't get the chance to sit down, take stock and rest when their bodies tell them to. They push on; and on; and ……….
Reading Forums like this gives ladies the opportunity to find out how others cope and what is available should symptoms become unmanageable. Remember too that one can change one's mind ;)
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If I found I wasn't coping on just the ADs at the present I would most defo go back on HRT they worked for me and my GP has said if I can;t manage without them he will put me back on.
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I'm not taking anything currently, and would prefer not to as I've had a couple of bad reactions to prescribed pills in the past, but I would take something if the need arose. The reason for visiting MM was to educate myself so I have a proper understanding of the options available and can have a good discussion with my GP if required. It's also because things are changing and I don't have any close female friends or relatives that I can talk to.
I suffered really painful periods for many years, and tried to hide what I was going through / put on a brave face, so I would never think of someone as weak for suffering from meno symptoms or taking medications to help with them.
Since joining the forum I have nothing but the utmost respect for the people on here who are navigating the meno minefield whilst trying to work, look after families, etc. and sharing their knowledge with the rest of us.
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Thank you all for sharing your thoughts; makes for interesting reading. Now you can all remember this thread in the future when I come haring in here with an onslaught of symptoms, screaming for drugs :D
I have to agree with what others have said - this is not about passing judgement on people for taking or not taking medications, but about discovering how people cope and learning from the shared experiences. Having a thread about going through the process without meds (or with the bare minimum) is probably a useful one to have, especially for newbies, like me, who might find the sheer variety of available treatments bewildering, and get the impression that everyone takes them and there is no other way. I am now clear that that is not the case, that the options are boundless and most importantly, that it is vital to tailor whatever you do to what suits you; if that means no meds so be it ;)
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'As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.'
^ this
not just for a new and unsure member as I have been swayed a couple of times by very strongly worded posts advocating HRT. Anyway I am glad to see this thread has remained calm, balanced and helpful without being turned into a pro HRT debate. :)
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I'm not taking anything apart from sage. I don't like taking anything unless I really have to, if the day comes that my symptoms are truly awful, I will consider hrt. But only as a last resort,
Libby
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I always said that libby, if my quality of life started to be affected and I could not control it I would consider it but it never did so I didn't, if you know what I mean.
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I think people obviously have very different tolerance thresholds. When it comes to physical pain I think I am quite stoic and dislike making a fuss or being fussed over.
But when it comes to psychological pain it's much harder to quantify. I often see people on here mention their troublesome mood swings but from what they go one to describe they sound quite 'normal' to me. They go from feeling quite balanced and cheerful to suddenly feeling tearful at watching something cute on TV. Or they might feel fed and frustrated by their physical meno symptoms.
I feel these are 'normal' mood swings. But mine are so much more extreme than that. Literally go from feeling on top of the world to watching a bus drive past and thinking 'I could just step under that bus and all this despair will stop.'
Because despair is what I feel. Not fed up or 'a but down'. Real, awful hopeless despair that can last 10 days at a time. I would genuinely take anything, anything at all, even if I knew it was high risk or life limiting if it would take away that feeling of despair I get.
I now completely understand why some people commit suicide. They have have spent too long in that state of despair. At least I am lucky and once my hormones tecalibrate my mood rises again and I feel normal again within a few hours.
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I've had despair. Black. Deep. Couldn't see a way out: and was deeply frightened, it was a prehensile fear. Relieved by medication fortunately. Hoping each day will be an improvement but finding each morning the same :'(
Fortunately these types of Forums give lots of suggestions, advice, experiences shared …….. and one doesn't have to take anything for ever once symptoms improve. It is important to accept that maybe for a while 1 has to take medication - for what ever reason - to enable us to cope. I fought against taking ADs and lost several years.
Keep asking the questions! Keep sharing! Tell us what has worked and for how long; it's about finding a balance which helps the individual! :)
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As I have bi-polar and depression, I know all about suicidal despair. The problem, I repeat what I have said elsewhere, is differentiating between my normal cycles of misery and elation that come from the bp/depression and the same symptoms which may or may not be being caused by meno stuff. It's difficult and I am sure I can't be the only one who has had a life of depression and mental issues who has now got the extra confusion of menopause on top of it, but I can't say I have seen much about it yet.
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Do the symptoms feel the same? follow similar patterns that you have had for years? I recognise my clinical depression as it can make the organic depression feel 'worse' …….. and is related to what is happening around me ::)
I haven't noticed those feelings 'worse' since my periods began to fluctuate and eventually stop. Fortunately! I think that my medication had stabilised me enough before peri-meno began ………….
I wonder if asking the same question on a depression group would give you answers; then let us know ;). I was part of a US-based privately owned rather than medic-led depression forum in the 1980s/90s ……… I am sure that since then there will be more recently formed groups?
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Absolutely, Babyjane. Reading this site has put my mind at ease several times, and I expect it will do so again and again. Fabulous, supportive forum.
hi Gill
Mu meno struck me severly after crashing my bike then some idiot driving into me from a t junction. not seriously hurt but supercharged my meno cos of the stress also a difficult teenagers to look after. That was Nov 14 - suffering mood swings, anxiety, loneliness, isolation. Sought a nat healer worked to a point but now feel let down as cannot afford keeping him. What i did go on to 90percent stop hot flushes were nutrition fx which are nat tablets, green tea, herbs etc. they really helped but for the depression suffering since last nov 14, i have decided to go on AD for the mood swings and everything else i said above. My second opinion doctor was very helpful, AD which i have just started are the family of SSRi which deal with the menopause. But one thing i do know, since i have been off work with a bad back, my depression worsened, not helping my husband working away mon to fri for the last year, my physio suggested get on that bike every day which i did, and i feel so much better today, in fact i feel myself for the first time since last november. I will continue to cycle everyday to get the endorphines going. I will let you know how the ADs go. Tigs.
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Absolutely, Babyjane. Reading this site has put my mind at ease several times, and I expect it will do so again and again. Fabulous, supportive forum.
hi Gill
Mu meno struck me severly after crashing my bike then some idiot driving into me from a t junction. not seriously hurt but supercharged my meno cos of the stress also a difficult teenagers to look after. That was Nov 14 - suffering mood swings, anxiety, loneliness, isolation. Sought a nat healer worked to a point but now feel let down as cannot afford keeping him. What i did go on to 90percent stop hot flushes were nutrition fx which are nat tablets, green tea, herbs etc. they really helped but for the depression suffering since last nov 14, i have decided to go on AD for the mood swings and everything else i said above. My second opinion doctor was very helpful, AD which i have just started are the family of SSRi which deal with the menopause. But one thing i do know, since i have been off work with a bad back, my depression worsened, not helping my husband working away mon to fri for the last year, my physio suggested get on that bike every day which i did, and i feel so much better today, in fact i feel myself for the first time since last november. I will continue to cycle everyday to get the endorphines going. I will let you know how the ADs go. Tigs.
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'As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.'
^ this
not just for a new and unsure member as I have been swayed a couple of times by very strongly worded posts advocating HRT. Anyway I am glad to see this thread has remained calm, balanced and helpful without being turned into a pro HRT debate. :)
You're right. I think this thread has also shown me there's a third camp - the 'I take HRT even though I am not totally comfortable about it and never thought I would, but my quality of life was so badly affected that I had no option'. I think, if I am honest, that's where I fall. As a result, looking back, I think I can get defensive when I worry people are implying that I have somehow given in or been weak. When you get to the point you can't walk without crutches, or wear normal under wear (fluid retention) or feel your feet (numbness/tingling) or think straight/work competently through brain fog, you really have no choice. You have no pleasure in life and no hope. Yet, even now, a part of me feels like I have 'given in' by taking additional hormones. Certain posts on this forum reinforce this, as do friends/family. They are as unhelpful as some of the 'too strongly advocating HRT' ones, in terms of how they affect others. Does anyone else know what I mean?
One thing this thread has made me wonder is if there should be a separate thread for younger members. I say this in an objective, non ageist way: when you're at an age when your body 'expects' to still be having ample estrogen, the risks of not having it are proven. The general treatments on offer are slightly different too. Sometimes I can innocently make a comment, trying to be helpful, but later realise what I am saying (eg about protecting my heart) is more pertinent to younger members in their 20s, 30s and early 40s. It could be scary to those members in a different situation, who have to weigh up the proven risks of HRT verses the benefits. (Risks are greater the older you get). There is also the additional grief of never being a mother which I know affects some younger members.
I know there are websites especially for younger people, but I am so fond of the people on here and value their opinions, support and girl-humour far too much to log in anywhere else!! X
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Do the symptoms feel the same? follow similar patterns that you have had for years?
It feels exactly the same, just more frequent, but as I said elsewhere, the anger is a return to the really old, and has definitely started to get worse since I began noticing menopause symptoms. You have to wonder if your brain is doing it to you some days!
I wonder if asking the same question on a depression group would give you answers;
I have tried many depression based forums over the years and have yet to find a useful one. They all seem to be filled with people who want to share their problems - almost like they are trying to outdo each other as to who has it worse - rather than be interested in sharing solutions. I have long since given up on them :D
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I think that's a good idea Briony. I really like and respect so many on here and value their input that I don't want to go elsewhere.
But a separate thread for younger women suffering peri symptoms a would be nice. I think our symptoms can be different and possibly more extreme as we still have too many of our hormones on board and buggering about.
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Also wanted to say I am so glad I found this site and the support has been wonderful. But at first I was very wary of posting as so manybon here seemed 10-15 years ahead in their symptoms and were generally menopausal. They seemed to be dealing much more with hot flushes and vaginal atrophy etc, rather than the volatile mood swings and anxiety.
So a separate thread would perhaps feel more relevant to some younger peri menopausal women?
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Sorry to rain on this great idea......but....I tried very hard to get a separate thread for alternatives and had quite a lot of member support but the powers that be ignored the request.
It's a real shame that members requests are basically ignored but there would be no harm in at least asking.
Don't hold your breath though.
Honeyb
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Well we could just have a long running thread on the All Things Menopause forum. As long as we remembered to bump it often so it stayed on the 1st page always?
Call it something like Perimenopause Princesses (as opposed to being Menopausal Madams) ;)
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Briony & GRL your idea of a separate thread on MM for younger, peri meno ladies seems a really good idea. Things are very different when one hasn't even thought of meno as a possibility.
Why not start a topic/thread to address this area yourselves? Ok, you may get some strong pro HRT views posted, but you wouldn't have to pay heed to them. Equally, post meno ladies may have useful contributions to make.
Just seen GRL's post re long running thread on ATM forum - That seems a really good way to go
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Call it something like Perimenopause Princesses (as opposed to being Menopausal Madams) ;)
;D I like that, GypsyRoseLee!
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;D …………
Gill - I think that's 1 of the reasons I stopped contributing, it became a 'race' to see who had the best/worse/deepest/longest symptoms ::)
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I think one of the issues here is that we're all basically a bunch of hormonal females so it's inevitable that some of us are going to be ultra sensitive and/or read more into others' posts than was probably intended (me being the worst offender!). That makes people feel they have been criticised so they feel they have to defend or justify themselves, hence the 'race' you refer to CKLD. The good thing is that, as someone else pointed out, this thread has remained balanced and friendly. :)
I was going to email Emma, HB, til I remembered your previous experience. Maybe a peri post/thread will just occur naturally. 'If' there was a separate part of the forum, crucially, it would need to be inclusive. I could not have got through the last year if it wasn't for the support, advice and views of some of the more experienced ladies on here, those who've given me confidence and reassurance when my friends at home just didn't get it (a number who are contributing to this thread so :thankyou: :thankyou: ) Many of the things discussed are relevant to both peri and menopausal members - the more peri focused issues being some of the treatments available, the risk levels associated with some treatments, coping with fluctuations rather than lack of estrogen and the alienation (stigma?) experienced when your 30/40 something social group is still discussing the joys of having babies whilst you're secretly battling the grief of never being a birth mother. A case of night feeds vs night sweats! :-\
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I am not taking anything although if I could take a herbal remedy I would. Trying the free sample of sage which is being sent to me. I wont go on medication if I can help it. I am already on High BP tablets and on the risk of having to take statins for my cholesterol so steering well clear until needs must. I run or go to the gym most days / walk every day with the dog and eat healthily. Also cutting down on the booze as that I notice makes hot flushes worse. Don't have too many other symptoms yet but expect I will.
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Ladies often find an intolerance of alcohol at this time of Life :( ::)
My cholesterol is slightly high but as I do every thing else 'right', my GP and I agree that I don't need statins (he doesn't agree with them much either).
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Im a bit late joining this thread but Im 53 and take nothing apart from Starflower oil and B complex. Still on the fence re HRT. When Im in floods of tears I think I must, when Im not I think I shouldnt.
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Read somewhere recently that intense excersise 5 times a week for 45 mins reduced hot flushes and meno symptoms for most of women in study, so thats something else people can try -
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Well I was on herbal medicine for low mood, breast tenderness and cramps however because I have since progressed in the last 8 weeks to more menopausal type symptoms and my periods are a little more irregular and so much more painful I have decided to completely come off the herbal mix cold turkey and see what manifests. Main reason was I wanted to see how my body is in its natural state during this latest transition and deal with it from a fresh perspective. I am already noticing a dip in mood and feel I am slowing down and going inwards so to speak. Mind you, my personal life is a mess ( relationship probs and was told last month I no longer had my contract so I am jobless now) Its all feeling too much at the moment.Loss of confidence big time - I wish there were meet up groups so we could sit and pour out our woes too. Anyone else gone through rocky times in a relationship because they hate themselves with the weight gain, ageing and feeling generally unwell. those who have lovely supportive hubbys - cherish them!!
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I have one of those hubbies that one day you love and the next day you hate ::)
Good idea to come off everything and then reasses. If we end up taking a mix then we don't know what's working and what's not.
We do have a print off of a help for hubbies which explains to them far better than we can what we are going through and reacting the way we do.
My hubby didn't read it ::)
Honeyb
X
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Hi notgovingin - I can relate to the relationship problems and its grim. Keep posting and we will try and help you through xx
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what do others think about a relationship thread in the private bit. After all many of our relationship issues are menopause related and can make you feel isolated?
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thats a good idea actually - apologies if I went on a bit too much about it all - I re-read it just now and feel slightly embarrassed I think the sleep deprivation is turning me doo-lally!
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that's ok it wasn't a criticism, sleep deprivation is awful, I sympathise. It's just anyone anywhere can read the non private threads.
What do others think?
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that's ok it wasn't a criticism, sleep deprivation is awful, I sympathise. It's just anyone anywhere can read the non private threads.
What do others think?
I think it's a good idea as it makes finding relevant information and threads you're more likely to be able to respond to so much easier. For the same reason, I think having a separate part for those of us who're in premature or early menopause would be handy. However, as HB pointed out, when she tried to set up a separate section for natural remedies - something which members supported - it wasn't permitted.
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I think a thread can be started though. I will start one and see if it is popular or not.
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I've just come across this on Dr Annie Evans' website. It's about ways of managing PMS but I the suggested treatments might be relevant to peri/menopause too. The reason I've put it on this thread is that it covers non HRT treatments too (scroll down). Hope it helps, B x
http://www.drannieevans.com/#!premenstrual-syndrome-pms/c1c1z
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Thanks Briony, that was a good read and a great definition to 'try' explain to others what is going on.
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Hi Gill, just seen your post - have noted also in the anxiety section.. had very emotional and anxious experience 6 years ago as M cut in, - struggled badly and went on HRT to save my career, then after 6 months stopped it and went back into the crazy world - this continued for about 5 years and very slowly got better so now I can cope ish and only cry occasionally and hot flush maybe once a day. Nights a bit broken but am hopeful - it had been very upsetting, so if, like me you prefer not to take stuff , then there is hope. I am afraid I would rather not have to go through it or for anyone else to, no one tells you how bad it is, least of all the 26 year old GP.. so no meds and a bit of mindfulness and some swimming,,,
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Reading through the multiple threads it seems to me that almost everyone here is on some kind of treatment. I know I am generalising, but seriously, is there anyone around who doesn't take anything - by which I mean stuff specifically for meno? I really don't want to take anything - and I know circumstances might force my hand - and I would love to hear from people who have made it through/continued post-meno without taking any prescribed meds.
Me myself dont know a single sol person not even my B....y sis inlaw
I didnt take HRT went right through meno at 37 finished 20 years ago last period 24th Aug 1995(diary)
By December 1995 I was the B... troll from hell postmeno for me was worse that pre or meno
By Feb 96 I was put on Mini Pill and Ortho gynest as sex was hard and I wanted to KILLLLLLLL
I went on Ovestin and the mini pill about 2 years later
Since 2010 Ive been on Vagifem ONLY as I got severe Vaginal Atrophy through going over so young
AND not taking anything. Jst take it one day at a time But I will say if I had my time over again
I would snatch the HRT out of the GPS hand not cos of the symptoms I coped with them
BUT the ATROPHY Id not wish that on anyone
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I'm trying not to take anything right now. I just wish I knew somebody who feels like me right now in my friend circle.
All my friends are in meno a long time ago, many say they took hrt but it did nothing for them so they gave up others, of course say they sailed through it.
Its a very lonely journey and I am really scaring my daughter who is only 29.
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Thought I would post this link, even though someone else has posted it in a different thread, as it may be of interest to people looking for something other than HRT. I thought it was great. The bigger the bubble, the more (potentially) helpful it could be. Scroll down for the other half of the grid.
http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/play/snake-oil-supplements/