Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: SueRoe on June 08, 2015, 12:00:34 PM
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Once our periods have been gone for a year and our hormones (oest and prog anyway) have dropped to their low post-menopausal levels do we start to feel any better? I don't see how we can. Surely if the hormones that have been the source of so much trouble by swinging around all over the place have levelled out that is where we settle for the rest of our lives. I really don't understand because from graphs of monthly hormone levels in fertile years our hormone levels as we start a period are low, just as they are post-menopausally, yet I felt great when a period started and feel like crap now at supposedly the same hormone levels. Yet if we take HRT to improve things post-menopausally surely we have to take it for ever to feel well. Can anybody who knows about this stuff help please?
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i think we should improve and the way to tell is to look at older post meno ladies, or ask them. I have asked quite a few and most are fine hormonally. They obviously they begin to get illness related to age but beyond that my many friends post meno are fine. I am clinging to that or I will go insane.
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How long is a piece of string :-\ - it's one of Life's Great Mysteries I think, in that all ladies are different. From the age of 12 I had DREADFUL periods - heavy, clotting, painful, nausea - PMT in my 40s ….. then periods began to wane over 2-3 years when I was 44-ish and now I don't feel too bad. I've had the odd symptom of late evening after my bath flushes - they went after 18 months. Vaginal atrophy - medicated.
I was told by NAPS to eat a high carbohydrate diet every 3 hours when PMT was causing problems. In the 10-14 days prior to a bleed I would suddenly feel sick, get light headed, panic attacks - the 3 hour 24/7 eating pattern helped a lot. Could you spread out your diet so that you eat more regularly, even in the night? It takes 3-4 months before the body settles.
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I too have to believe we will or I also will go insane. The forum is probably not the best place to 'wonder' though..most of the ladies on here have hormonal issues one way or another, that's why we're here. :) I ask any older woman I know (who I don't think will be offended) if they feel good. I get my mother to ask her friends. By and large it seems a lot of post menopausal ladies feel pretty darn good ( barring VA, and 'old age' stuff', and libido). If we felt for the rest of our lives how we feel now, there'd be a whole lotta insane old ladies out there. Doesn't seem to be so.
tara
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I would never ask my Mum ……… ::)
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Totally agree with CLKD :)
I would never ask a mum / aunt / older friend.
My mother would say she did not have any problems however speak to my father and he's got a completely different view/experience of my mum's peri and meno years.
Some have posted in the forum that they have flown / eased through the peri and meno years but I really think those people are very very lucky and in a very small minority.
:-*
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I know I'm lucky. Hopefully despite my lack of experience I can add support …… and encouragement …… Mum said a few years ago that she doesn't remember her meno., well she's 88 now ;D and my sister said "I've been through all that" when I suggested her symptoms might be memo-related ………. :-\
Any younger friends that seem to be headed towards symptoms I encourage them to look on here ;)
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My mother would say she did not have any problems however speak to my father and he's got a completely different view/experience of my mum's peri and meno years.
That made me giggle - what our poor fellas have to put up with at times... ;) (But it still ain't anywhere near as much as we do!!!!)
GG x
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They have different things to cope with …….. ::)
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"I've been through all that"
I think that's the problem, a lot us think we are "through all that" but are sadly still in the mix and midst of peri / meno.
My mother in law says the same, no problems, however she's suffered from headaches, stomach and sleep problems for years. I'm pretty sure there are other problems but she's not the that open on things related to health.
These all started around the peri / meno time frame but she's still suffering.
I heard a friend of mums has ongoing long term urine infections but no one else or any doc would attribute her suffering was due to a lack of hormones.
Feel like talking to the friend but my mother would be too embarrassed if I did.
Says it all really :o
:-*
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My Mum had a surgical menopause at 42. She only took HRT for about 6 months. Big mistake as she now has heart problems and her bone health is poor.
But she never suffered with any hot flushes after stopping HRT and her mood was fine. Didn't have any urinary problems or sleep issues either.
She has led a busy and active life since the menopause though she reports she only needs about 6 hours sleep a night nowadays and occasionally gets insomnia.
My mother in law reckons she never noticed the menopause. But she also reckons that giving birth didn't hurt either so you can't take her word on anything.
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My Grandmother had two babies easily, her periods just stopped when she was 50.......... no problems whatsoever. However, if you listen to her other stories, like the one where she was too ill to do the laundry and sent Dad to school in 'rinsed out' clothes, and do the maths, you think hmmm.. ::) And she had a hysterectomy at 70.
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My mother in law goes to bed for 6hrs or so but only sleeps for a couple of hours at the most.
My mother in law always swears she had a lovely sleep.
My father in law always complains about the fact she does not beeping sleep and keeps him awake!
Especially when she nods off during the day through lack of sleep!!!???
I'll let others do the maths on that :)
What they say and what is the case are two often wide sides of interpretation and truth.
I don't think its a case of "do things improve".
I feel for some of us its a case of how long we've got to put up with meno till it either does not matter
or peri/meno gets to a point where we are miserable and need help.
Those blessed with none of the long terms symptoms or chronic problems without using HRT are very lucky indeed (and few in number according to the studies).
:-*
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My Mum certainly suffered with mood swings and anxiety before her hysterectomy. When she was in her late 30s I can remember her taking to her bed several times 'with her nerves' as it was called back then. I can also remember her having what must have been a panic attack in a restaurant and we all had to quickly finish our meal and leave.
And I later found out that my Dad had to call out the emergency doctor in the middle of the night, because my Mum was just pacing the living room floor in floods of tears and hyper ventilating for no apparent reason.
She claims she can vaguely remember these incidents, but it was over 30 years ago.
I think it must have been horrendous at the time for her. She can remember her own mother regularly threatening to throw herself in the canal when my gran was in her late 30s. I often wonder if that was due to hormones?
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My mother is 93 in August, early meno, about 43 I think. She took nothing and did go through a good few years of anxiety problems....she does remember. She took nothing at all.
By the time she was early 60s all the problems had long gone and was fine. No heart issues no osteoporosis no anything really except now extreme old age.
Anyone remember one of our members called Trey. She would disagree that things do not improve. She was in her early 70s, lives in the U.S. and was a great example of how life gets better.
Either there are millions of women that are mighty good actresses or life does improve and go on.
How about some positivity here.....things could be so much worse.
Honeybun
X
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I am two and half years post meno and never taken any hrt. In alot of ways I am so much better now that I was peri meno as I no longer have the constant bleeding and flooding. My anxiety isn't as bad but then the constant awful symptoms probably added to the anxiety!
I do have hot flushes which improve in winter and get worse in summer ::) just when you don't want them and I have slight discomfort when weeing due to lack of oestrogen down there ;D
I no longer have the agonising ovulation pains that plagued me all the time I had periods that got worse before my ovaries packed up so thats a great improvement.
I think the hot flushes and down there problems can last for many many years though as I hve friends in their 70's who still get hot flushes.
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That's very reassuring to hear countrybumpkin.
I try and console myself that in not too many years I will be able to look back at this awful peri roller coaster like it was all just a bad dream. My Mum is in her 70s now and can barely remember much about her menopause.
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That's very reassuring to hear countrybumpkin.
I try and console myself that in not too many years I will be able to look back at this awful peri roller coaster like it was all just a bad dream. My Mum is in her 70s now and can barely remember much about her menopause.
I think its a bit like childbirth is meno in that your brain is designed to forget about the horrors after a time ;D ;D Always best to ask the other half if there is one as they often have very vivid memories of meno!
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Trey is busy and fine ;)
How long after a lady has improved does she realise ……… ;)
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I bet you don't realise at the time, as such. I expect that after a matter of months (years?) you look back and realise how better and more outgoing you have been recently, compared to before.
To be honest, right now if someone offered me a trip in a time machine to when all this peri Hell is behind me I would jump at the chance. Even if it meant fast forwarding 10 years and me being 55. Living like this just sucks :(
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I felt like that in my mid to late 40s until I realised I was wishing my life away.
Life is too bl**y short already so no matter what it flings our way you really should try and find positives in every day.
My kids have grown up in a flash....where did those years go. I am absolutely determined that despite aches pains and digestive issues, and anxiety. I am going to enjoy what I have.
You only walk this way once and no one died of menopause....so make the most of it.
Honeybun
X
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Your post made me think Honeybun. If you can give those of us who can't find the energy or motivation to "make the most of it" some tips (any tips!) I for one would be grateful. How did you turn things around in your forties when you realised you were wishing your life away?
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I just don't want to look back in ten years time and think what a waste. I can't/don't do a lot that I used to because of anxiety but I have tried to find other things I enjoy.
My hubby has not got the best of health and I just don't know what's ahead.....so despite feeling rubbish sometimes I just try to put it to the back of my mind and enjoy what I can.
Am I going to waste these years....am I heck.
We all have our health issues and we all get fed up but even a little thing each day to make you feel good helps.
For me it's a walk on the beach. A laugh with my hubby, my dog on my knee....anything really but don't waste years trying to feel the way we used to.
Kind of works for me.
Honeybun
X
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I worried [out-loud] recently about not doing as much as we would like but DH told me 'it is what it is, you are what you are and we get out and about plenty' ……… :-* ……. half a day at a time?
Acceptance is difficult. Having an unsympathetic GP won't help make this journey any easier! there's nowt in 'it' for the drug companies :-\ …….. when anxiety hits me I have to take the emergency pill, when depression over-took last week I began to get fearful again. But it isn't always: 24/7 as it was throughout the 1990s :'(.
No quick fix I'm afraid.
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You speak a lot of sense honeybun. Back in my 20s I suffered with anxiety when I started a new job. Used to dread Mondays etc. Back then I was able usually to talk myself around, or lift my mood by getting outside or spending time with friends etc.
But this hormonal anxiety/depression is a whole other ball game. It absolutely floors me and I am helpless when it strikes. I have fought it tooth and nail, but nothing works. It's weapon grade anxiety which actually feels like intense despair. So I'm afraid I would still happily trade the next 5 years of this, if I could fast forward to being over it. I genuinely would.
The only other time I have experienced it is when I had post natal depression, so I know it's caused by hormones.
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Fighting tool and nail is the worse thing you can do.
Acceptance is the key. It passes, it does not harm you. If you keep fighting then your brain becomes even more accustomed to the feeling of panic.
Clair Weekes has a book that explains it very well.
Try to let the feelings come, accept them for what they are, tell yourself you are fine and then let them flow away.
Not easy I know and I'm a work in progress but I'm improving albeit slowly.
Honeyb
x
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The only other time I have experienced it is when I had post natal depression, so I know it's caused by hormones.
As you say, it's caused by hormones.
Not a lot can be done about it.
I believe the expression, is go with the flow.
It's not worth getting ratted up and distressed about.
It's not nice but it will pass and it isn't fatal.
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Yes...but...don't you feel as if your life is slipping through your fingers as you wait for things to improve? Day after day of mooching around with no energy while there's a whole world full of things to do and see if only you could get going...
Waiting for it all to be over is all well and good if you know you're going to have many years of decent-quality life left later, but none of us knows that. And I want my life back now, not when I'm 60, 65, 70...
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But really that is the whole point. You have to work with what you have got be it bad or bloody awful.
I'm not great right now but I'm reminding myself I have better times. My hubby and my daughter are great reminding me of the progress I have made over the past three years of anxiety.
I'm not fighting it, I'm just accepting it knowing it will pass again and improve a bit.
It's been a lovely day here so hubby and I wandered along the beach and I went for a paddle....freezing...but I got pleasure from it and will think of that.
You simply have to try and see the positives, it could be so much worse.
Onwards and upwards is the only way to go.
Honeybun
X
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It isn't called "The Change" for nowt ::)
Try taking half a day at a time? Don't make too many plans? Those plans that you make should be flexible for *you*, don't worry about what others might think ;)
Accept that as when we began our periods, this is another change in hormone levels, although at least we knew that eventually periods would stop ………
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Yes HB, I remember Trey and the journey we travelled with her. She was such an inspiration and helped me immensely. I will never forget what she went through and I am so pleased she is enjoying life now. Please give her my best wishes CLKD
Fighting tool and nail is the worse thing you can do.
Acceptance is the key. It passes, it does not harm you. If you keep fighting then your brain becomes even more accustomed to the feeling of panic
Try to let the feelings come, accept them for what they are, tell yourself you are fine and then let them flow away.
Very true and wise words HB, I am also work in progress but try my best to follow this route
PN x x
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Trey drops by occasionally …….