Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: mandy43 on April 27, 2015, 12:08:27 PM
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This is the worst thing for me, going the docs, due to the health anxiety I suffer from. However, I need some reassurance, that my symptoms are peri related. If you have seen my light period post you will know that I have been bleeding for 9 days, but its just there when you wipe really. Started off on day 23 and caught me by surprise. Started off the way a period normally does but then never developed into anything. I am just worried it's a sign of something else. Problem is there is only one doc that can see me and I don't like her. She is miserable as hell and has no bedside manner at all. I need a doc that can put me at ease and she never does, she always looks like it's a chore for her to speak to you. I have a lot I want to get off my chest, as I have other symptoms I want to talk about: inflamed gums, dry eyes, gaining weight, tired all the time, low mood etc... What would be the best way to approach her today do you ladies think? Thanks in advance!!
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Hi mandy43
If the GP is as unhelpful as you anticipate then I would do one of two of things. Either rebook with another GP/nurse specialist interested in women's health, or go armed with some evidence that you're suffering menopausal problems.
If you have access to a computer and printer try 'googling' 34 symptoms of menopause - this is a fairly comprehensive list and include most of your symptoms.
Try not to be put off - good luck x
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/Thanks for the reply. I specifically asked for the docs I wanted but they are not available for 2 weeks. I then asked for anyone but her and again, no-one available for 2 weeks. This doc on the otherhand had a cancellation for today, which I have no choice but to take. I am making a list now, so will go in as armed as I can and with an open mind to maybe on the other occasions I have seen her, she was just having a bad day!!
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Good luck Mandy, I share your anxiety around health and doctors - hopefully you will have a good experience. :)
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I'm back and it went really bad. Because I am late with my smear, she concentrated on that alone and has worried me silly. She wouldn't even give me an internal to see what's going on... no checks at all. Wouldn't even consider it being down to the menopause, as I am too young... sick to death of docs telling me that!! I am now a mess and thinking I have cervical cancer. My test isn't for 2 weeks and then a 2 wk wait for results, I can't go through this worry for 4 weeks. I'm going to have to go private, not that I can afford it but I have no choice. I was in and out in 3 mins, 2 of which she spent at the door, showing me out!!
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Sorry that the appointment has given you more anxiety. Did she relate your light period to the smear test, or is that the anxiety - I know how easy it is to put two and two together and make fear. Did she say what she thought the light period was due to, if she didn't think it was hormonal?
If the light period came at the time of a period, in sync with your cycles, then it isn't usually considered 'worrying' - that is my understanding. I am 45 and earlier this year had a period that continued for over a week with spotting and only when I was wiping (sorry if TMI) and it was definately hormone related - either that or they have missed something with me as well, because they didn't do any further investigation.
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Hi there Mandy,
I was the same as Brightlight. My last two periods were over a week long but very very light. After my last period I booked in for a smear. My results came last week, all normal. I'm on yearly smears due to abnormal cells in 2009.
As long as the light bleed or spotting is part of your cycle it's quite normal for this stage in our lives.
Have you got someone that could come with you to an appointment? My gp is useless, refused to refer me to gynae for months. I took my DH to my last gp appointment and he refused to budge until we got what we wanted/needed. We weren't rude or threatening, just very quietly "firm". It gave me strength to have him with me xxx
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hi brightlight. i explained to her how the period had come on day 23 and that it started off like a normal period bleeding for a day (always light on day 1) but never changed, just sort of in there but not coming away much. I asked her if this is a period or not and straightaway she said it's spotting and related it to being late with my smear... wouldn't entertain it being peri related and just showed me door.
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thanks clairelou. Problem I have is my periods are all over the place... only the last few months have they been fairly regular, so I can't tell if this is a period or not. It's very light (really don't need to wear anything but a liner) and came on day 23. I've had periods on day 11, so that doesn't bother me, it's just that it hasn't developed into a proper bleed. I can't get an appt at my docs for 2 weeks and I can't wait worrying for that long, I will have to go private.
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Hi Mandy,
I really feel for you. It's annoying and frustrating and very wrong for GPs to dismiss us without a backward glance.
I'm sorry I can't be of any help but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I really hope that you get better luck with your private gynae.
Take care xxx :)
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Sending my sympathy as well, it isn't helpful or right to be so dismissive. As much as it will cause anxiety, getting the smear done will have huge benefits, not least of all, ticking it off the list.
With my health anxiety issues I have come to realise that many GP's - mine included tend to tick box their way through diagnosis, checking certain things before putting it down to things they can't 'measure' like hormones. What I am trying to say is that although I think it wrong that your GP isn't really listening to your concern and I totally understand your anxiety, they may well not have made a judgement about anything and simply seen a smear is due and to do that first.
A private test will help you with the anxiety and I wish you well, meanwhile I will just say again that light bleeding can very much be part of hormonal shifts at this age. x
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Hi Sparkle, I will ring tomorrow and try... my bleeding is the same as yours went from purple and red day 1 with clots (all light though as I said) to brown/ browny red ever since and only there when I wipe. And brightlight I know she is just being methodical and with a normal patient that would be fine, but not me. I am a couple of years late with my smear, as I kept putting it off and when I had the transvaginal scan last may and I was told all was normal, that made me feel better, as I asked about my cervix. However, a sonographer can't see cell changes, so I should have had it done and all I keep thinking now is, what if it is that?
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Hello Mandy,
How old are you? I am 48 and just had a very very light period after having heavy periods all my life, but I think it is just hormonal. I am also having trouble getting my doctor to link any of my symptoms to menopause so I sympathize with you.
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I'm 45 next month. When you say light toffeecushion, was it blink and you would miss it light? I didn't have wear a pad just a liner after day 1 and the blood was browny red from day 2/3. I have been peri for 3 years now, been through hot flushes, night sweats, urine problems, inflamed gums, dry eyes, mood swings, gaining middle weight... you name it!!
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The first day was very very light, wasn't even sure it was a period. Then I had a couple of days when only a liner was needed and even then there wasn't much, mainly just when I wiped.
Back in October 2013 I had a period that started off very light and ended up very heavy and lasting 53 days, this was followed by a break of 5 days and then a normal period. Since then my periods have been getting closer together, although this last one was a week late. My doctor wasn't concerned and didn't even think it was menopause related. Don't know what you have to do to get the doctors to listen.
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Hi Mandy
So sorry you are having so much worry.
For what it's worth, I am 3 years post meno and I had periods all over the place and exactly as you describe for about 4 years until they eventually stopped. Also , I put off a smear for much longer than you and when I eventually had one it was completely normal.
Hope that helps. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know!).
Hugs
W x
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Oh thank you so much for your replies Toffee and Westie.... I'm very teary at the moment and your replies have really helped.
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Hi mandy
I also have health anxiety which stops me from seeing dr's....silly I know, you would think I'd be there all the time....good luck :)
Liz xxx
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I haven't read all the threads but this is IN NO WAY connected to your late smear. If you never had a smear again these symptoms would continue ::) ………
Are you ably to ask for a referral to a monoclinic or Consultant Gynae? Your GP sounds as though she is fixated on what she knows about rather than listening to your symptoms and concerns :bang:
Why oh why do ladies have to put up with this crap from Doctors! :-X
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hi Ckld I've booked a private appt with a gyno tomorrow evening. It's going to cost £250 and I really can't afford it but I can't wait 4 weeks feeling like this, so needs must. Can I ask why you think it's not to do with the cervix? The doc wouldn't look at any other reason until this is ruled out. I am incredibly scared for tomorrow, but I will go through with it.
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And Lizeee I was once never away from the docs and its the complete opposite now, I never go... I think the older I get the more scared I am of everything.
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Hi Mandy
your GP sounds dreadful - the complete opposite of reassuring.
Good luck with the appt tomorrow. No point in saying try not to worry so I'll say try to keep busy with something you enjoy.
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Try and write down all your symptoms and show/ tell him what you are suffering,he might have experience of the meno.stuff. I pay to see a private gynecologist who specializes in menopause so yours might too. Try not to worry remember private is nothing like nhs I usually get at least 50 mins with mine so your not rushed and plenty of time for discussion asking questions etc. Let us know how you get on .
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Good advice again. You can pick his brains Mandy, after all you're paying for his time.
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Thanks Mrs Mopp, will do my best, not easy though!!
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Yes, let us know how you get on. Health anxiety is really horrible. I also don't see your symptoms as 'typical' of advice I have read regarding cervical changes and 'abnormal' bleeding. Wishing you all the best to get this over and done with x
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thanks Bright light, I will report back please send positive thoughts my way xx
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Hi
Like others on here my periods have gone bizarre since peri menopause. My periods used to be as regular as clockwork. Always the same symptoms. Always in the same order.
But for the last year or more my periods have become really, really light. Some months it's just heavy brown spotting with very little 'fresh' red blood. Other months I get a show of fresh red blood for just one day, followed by a gap of two days of nothing, before getting some light brown spotting for just a day or so.
Some months I could really get by with just using a panty liner. And I used to be a 'super' tampon with panty liner as added protection type of woman.
Then last month I suddenly went back to having a much heavier, longer lasting period. No idea why?
I am sure your gynaecologist will be able to reassure you that what you are experiencing is completely normal for women in peri menopause.
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thank you Gypsie!! As I have said, normally I would never worry about my periods, it's just that this bleed is different, just has never developed into anything... just in there for the last 10 days and occasionally a bit will be in the toilet... weird! My actual due time for my period is the weekend (going by the last couple of periods, as they have been quite regular for once, every 5/6 weeks) and i have they symptom: sore breasts, so I don't know what's happening and with my smear being late and the doc jumping on that, the fear took over and I have to be seen asap!
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I think that your GP is hinging on the fact that you are due a smear test but totally ignoring your menopause symptoms: could be due to money issues in the Practice, could be her lack of knowledge and/or acceptance that menopause can cause on-going problems, it could be that she is familiar and safe with smear tests as they are a regular issue for GPs, however, ours don't do them - the Practice Nurse does ………
Let us know how you get on with the private consult, at that rate you should get a full HOUR of someone who will listen!
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haha CKLD, I doubt I will get an hour but to be honest 10 mins will do if he just puts my mind at rest, no price for that! yes the practice nurse would have done it at my surgery but it meant waiting until 8th May and the way I am I would be a mess by then. As it is I haven't been able to eat since yesterday morning, so 2 wks to wait is not possible. Definitely will report back and thanks!!
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Mandy my heart goes out to you. Don't feel frightened or stressed - you are not alone with these symptoms or in fearing visits to the doctors. These are normal reactions. I have had those weird periods as well and have also been freaked out by them. We are all here for you -feel free to PM me if you want a chat. xxx
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Hope all goes well for you today :foryou:
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damn clinic just phoned to say appt is tomorrow now, not today! Can't believe that, they told me today at 6pm. Another 36 hours of this worry... I'm fuming!!
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That's a bit off. Poor you another day to sit and worry :(
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Oh no - that's not helpful :(
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If you are paying for an appt. you should get at least an hour >:( …….. because Consultants usually factor in an hour per patient initially.
Maybe the Consultant had an emergency, therefore the appt. needed to be put off. Doesn't help your anxiety state but at least it wasn't postponed for too long!
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I think my periods may have started properly now, if the last 2 wks wasn't the period, as it's got a bit heavier now... question is, am i still ok to see the gyno if I am bleeding? anyone else seen a gyno whilst bleeding not just spotting?
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Hi Mandy
Yes its fine, I saw the Gyni more often when I was bleeding than when I was not during Peril!! They don't mind if you don't!
Sorry you've had to wait even longer, hope it all goes well
W x
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It's ok if you are bleeding. What time is your appointment?
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thanks girls... appt is at 6pm. I'm a shaking mess!!
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You'll be fine. Do you know how long you have to wait for the results?
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no, think it is quicker that the nhs, but hopefully he will be able to look inside and if everything is ok give me some reassurance that the blood isn't coming from my cervix etc...
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Oh bless you mandy,
I had similar experience with my gp last year worrying me silly about irregular periods, all turned out to be fine "just" perimenopause. I also had a fright last year after an xray showed a shadow on my lung. I paid to have a private mri scan, to find out i had a broken rib i didn't know about. It's no wonder we get health anxiety! Good luck for later, hugs xxx
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Good luck for later Mandy :foryou:
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Hopefully you have passed the anticipatory anxiety point, been to the appointment and have some relief from worry - wishing you well x
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I'm back!! The appt went really well. I went to the appt on my own as my hubby had an important meeting, so I'm really proud of myself to go through with it. The consultant was lovely. He took a history of births i have had, any abnormal smears, any health issues and my symptoms of the peri. He told me that I am most definitely in peri, going on my symptoms and that GPs are ignorant to this subject. He took me through to do my smear and he looked at my cervix. He told me the results would take 10 days but he told me that I have nothing to worry about as my cervix is healthy. He said the bleeding is just peri related. He also said I shouldn't have to go private to get support with this and he is writing to my doctor to tell him from now on he, the consultant, will see me on the NHS from now (so free of charge) to get all the help I need throughout this time. I go back in 4 wks to see him again and its free from now on! I feel very relieved and although I will still fear the post waiting for the result, I will just keep focused on what he told me. I cannot thank every single lady who replied to this post enough for their reassuring words, their personal experiences and insight. Massive thanks xx
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WOW! what a result! It would seem that this Consultant is probably constantly picking up the pieces from GP Surgeries :-\ ……. don't let anyone know where he works or they will be queuing round the block ;D
:medal: for going. It can be daunting to have to repeat symptoms, at least you had a sympathetic, knowledgeable response. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the Consultant's letter arrives :o
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haha CKLD! He was very dismissive of the knowledge GPs have on this subject. Apparently he goes to surgeries to teach them... bloody marvellous! Wouldn't mind but the GP was a woman of my age, so she must be going through this herself.
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Not necessarily ;) …….
Pity this guy doesn't have patient answer/question sessions too!
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:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Sooooooooo happy for you, on many counts. Going alone, the reassurance and the offer of ongoing support. A really positive experience and affirming for those of us that have wondered if there are any doctors willing to go out of their way to inform and help where hormones are concerned. Super proud of that doctor and so happy you found them :)
Try not to worry about the letter x
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I know what you mean CLKD!! Thanks Brightlights, he really was a lovely guy!
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Mandy I am so pleased that you had a positive consultation. He sounds like a real gem, hang on to him! And well done you for being super brave and going alone.
:medal: :foryou:
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ah thanks Clairylou... I deserve that medal haha!!
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Great news Mandy and huge relief for you I 'm sure.
W x
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cheers Westie, feeling alot calmer now xx
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That's wonderful news Mandy. What a brilliant consultant :)
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Any results yet?
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thanks Mrs Mopp, although the worry is coming back, as I am still waiting for the smear result and today I have lower stomach pains which is making me think there is something wrong in there... honestly, I am such a worrier!!
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no toffee, it will be 2 weeks on Thursday... I'm starting to get worried again xx
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I'm sure if anything was wrong you would have heard by now :)
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fingers crossed!!
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The wait here is usually 10-14 days ;) plus longer if there is a Bank HOliday involved ::)
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It's horrible waiting, the worry has time to reappear. Hope you get the results soon and can put that concern to rest. As mentioned we had a Bank Holiday, so really it has been about 5 working days since your appointment, so maybe its just an administration delay :)
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apparently they work everyday, don't have weekends, bank holidays off. I was fine the first week, but the longer it is the more I'm thinking maybe they've had to do double checks on the sample. I've been trying to google how quickly does the lab look at the sample before it goes off, but can't find anything. Just trying to reassure myself by thinking, well if it has to be tested within 48 hours and there was something wrong, then surely I would have heard by now. I phoned my surgery today and they haven't had the results through either. I am sick of being like this :(
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I know it's not exactly the same, but when I had a blood test a couple of weeks ago my doctor's phoned me within 24 hours telling me I had a vitamin D deficiency. So I think if anything was wrong you would have heard by now. Easy for us to say but try not to worry :)
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Hi Mandy,
When abnormal cells were found on my smear test, my GP rang me with the news just two days after the test. Things generally move very quickly indeed if results of any kind are abnormal.
I know exactly how you're feeling. Heart in mouth every time phone rings or post comes through letterbox.
Sending you hugs xxx
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No news really is good news ! Xx
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have to say I've never met any of you, but if I could choose my friends, you would all be top of the list... you're all the best!! xx P.S post been and still no news.
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Since when have NHS Staff worked every day - Labs. are usually 9-5.00 as are X-ray depts., which is why there are such long waiting lists! Perhaps in City locations the Labs. etc. are 24/7 but that is quite rare. In which case, you're results should have been turned round with 48 hours ;). There will be cover for any work that is required from in-patients but for other samples :-\
If you are really worried, give the Dept. concerned a ring to find out if there is a back-log?
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They are working 7 days a week now. Scans ,xray etc. new government rules and not just in cities either not sure what the date is for every hospitals to comply by. Ours is and where my nephew in Wales works is too. Likewise out gp open Saturday and Bank Holiday.
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There shouldn't' be a waiting list for results then! I know that Vets were using MRI scanners etc. over-night because the Depts closed at 5.00 p.m. ::) and I was aware that our main Surgery now opens Sat. mornings, not that we have had a letter telling us …….. it's been found out on the grapevine.
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nothing in the post again today, so got my adult daughter to phone and pretend to be me (I know I'm a coward). They put her through to his med secretary and she said she can't give the results but would check and said they are not in my file. She said to phone the nurses dept and they could give the results, but the phone got cut off. Then she phoned back and another secretary said she would get the doc to ring as he will be able to see the results... oh I don't get it, I'm panicking now thinking they can see them but there is something wrong and he will have to explain it to me. honestly, I am now waiting for that bloody phone to ring and I feel sick and can't get off the toilet for more than 5 mins.
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Oh you poor thing, I sure it is nothing to worry about. Hope the doctor calls you soon :)
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thanks Toffee, if there is any news I will let you all know xx
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Hope you hear some good news soon.
I know the agony of waiting for results.
Sending hugs - stay positive
xxxx
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well husband managed to get some form of answer but no result. Lady said result should be due any day and if any consolation I should have heard in 5-7 days if there were a problem... it's no consolation. I keep thinking they are doing extra tests, like they do the hPV first now and if that's negative no further testing is done but if positive then has to have cells looked at and I'm thinking that is what's happening with mine. she said she will look out for my result now and will ring straightaway. I'm getting symptoms like pains down my leg and womb pain and I'm thinking this is it and then I'm thinking It's psychosomatic response... I'm rambling because my head is all over the place. Now I have all this to deal with again tomorrow and I've had enough!!
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How horrible to be worrying so much, I do empathise. Please try not to let your mind think the worst, the facts are that the likelihood of action needed from your test is minimal and even more so as the lady reassured you that if there was a problem etc etc. I know that having the result in your hand or told to you is what you need and until then will likely worry, but try to put it in a box for a bit so you don't create so much anxiety for yourself.
I have felt exactly the same when I had a cervical polyp removed a couple of years ago, that I had avoided removal of for well over a year. The result was longer than expected, I was then told on the phone a letter was on its way to me, she couldnt say anything but hinted all was well. I was swinging between reassurance and excrutiating worry until the letter arrived and I had the all clear.
You will get through this and I hope it will be tomorrow when you hear x
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thanks Brightlight, think I'll have a glass of wine and put it in that box for tonight xx
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Mandy - just wondering how things are?
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I was wondering too. Let us know how you are.
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was just going to put a post. NO!!! Still no letter. So, it's 3 weeks now. I would have been quicker going through the NHS. All in all it cost me £228 for the consultation (10 mins and £120), smear (£58) and cytology (£50). yes, he put my mind at ease and I would be in a much worse state if he hadn't looked in there, but really 3 weeks? I am due back to see him on my birthday 29th May, so we will see how that goes... but thanks ladies for asking. Just didn't want to keep burdoneing you all with my worries xx
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haha CKLD! He was very dismissive of the knowledge GPs have on this subject. Apparently he goes to surgeries to teach them... bloody marvellous! Wouldn't mind but the GP was a woman of my age, so she must be going through this herself.
Apparently there's a NICE consultation paper up for discussion in June about educating GPs on the menopause. Something that's been badly overlooked in the last decade or so to the detriment of so many of our generation. How many women are being fobbed off and left suffering because of GPs' lack of knowledge?
Of 4 GPs at my local surgery, none knew much about menopause. The Meno Clinic however were great and very knowledgeable, they're also involved in going round to local surgeries to spread awareness. A long process I imagine....
GG x
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was just going to put a post. NO!!! Still no letter. So, it's 3 weeks now. I would have been quicker going through the NHS. All in all it cost me £228 for the consultation (10 mins and £120), smear (£58) and cytology (£50). yes, he put my mind at ease and I would be in a much worse state if he hadn't looked in there, but really 3 weeks? I am due back to see him on my birthday 29th May, so we will see how that goes... but thanks ladies for asking. Just didn't want to keep burdoneing you all with my worries xx
:-\ :-\ Hmm that's not such a great service - sorry you haven't heard, that's really not great. It is no burden to read your posts.
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It's a poor service alright and I am going to bring this up when I see him. So far I have only paid for the consultation fee and was sent a bill in the post for the smear and cytology... well, I'm not paying it! To make someone wait this long for a result that I was told would take 10-14 days, is just ludicrous. Not his fault, I know, but, should not be allowed.
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It's a poor service alright and I am going to bring this up when I see him. So far I have only paid for the consultation fee and was sent a bill in the post for the smear and cytology... well, I'm not paying it! To make someone wait this long for a result that I was told would take 10-14 days, is just ludicrous. Not his fault, I know, but, should not be allowed.
Good that you have been sent an invoice and haven't paid that part yet - easier to refuse. Considering you took this route to ease anxiety, it really isn't a great outcome. At least the consultant himself was helpful.
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The Consultant may not be aware of the lateness of the result. Even with Bank Holidays etc. the result should have been back!
When will the appt. be ?
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and not before time GG. I have just changed practices because of the complete lack of knowledge about the meno at my surgery. Here's hoping the new one is an improvement.
[/quote]
Apparently there's a NICE consultation paper up for discussion in June about educating GPs on the menopause. Something that's been badly overlooked in the last decade or so to the detriment of so many of our generation. How many women are being fobbed off and left suffering because of GPs' lack of knowledge?
Of 4 GPs at my local surgery, none knew much about menopause. The Meno Clinic however were great and very knowledgeable, they're also involved in going round to local surgeries to spread awareness. A long process I imagine....
GG x
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How did your appointment go?