Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: buggz_71 on March 10, 2015, 10:41:05 PM
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Hello I am new here haven't posted before but thought I would do so today.
Why today? You might ask. Well today my boss made me so angry I wanted to walk out the door and not go back. My boss is very inexperienced and the queen of delegation. But then undermines everything you do, never gives any praise only tells you you have done a rubbish job when things go wrong. Has no compassion for staff and has absolutely no people skills at all. I feel humiliated, undervalued and insulted. My boss had the audacity to say that she did not "make me feel this way" and was I coming in to work tomorrow. We are short staffed at the moment I am trying my hardest but everything I do gets thrown back in my face. I feel so despondent.
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Is she your line manager, buggz_71, or your ultimate boss? It sounds as though she is fairly new to the place, although I may be wrong. It is hard when people at work react negatively to your best attempts - I had it in one workplace from someone I still shudder at the memories of. (I stuck it for as long as I could, then left, but that was just my circumstances.) Hats off to you for not walking out the door - today is another day. I hope things get better for you.
D.
:foryou:
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Hi, no she is not new she is my ultimate boss I report to her and don't have a line manager. I have thought about it things have been brewing for the past year when she took over and I think it is time for me to move on I have never been treated like this in all my working years so far. I feel sad I have failed to get along with her but I must put on a brave face give my resignation and work my notice period thanks for responding I now know others might be in the same position too
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:bighug:
She sounds a right...
What ever you decide don't let her get to you, you are better than some power tripping boss who obviously has issues in her own life and takes it out on others at work x
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I've been in exactly the same position as you, how I never knocked her out is beyond me. Do you have a union?
Why should you hand in your notice? This sort of thing sadly happens a lot, bullying and harrassment is not exceptable and you do have rights. Google bully and harassment in the workplace for info on what to do.
Clio
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Bugz your situation sounds horrible. How do other people get on with this person, are you the only one getting this treatment? Is she the company owner?
Clio's suggestions seem spot on. It seems totally wrong that you be forced out of a job.
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:welcomemm:
Go off sick for 2 weeks and review how you feel whilst away from the work place. I stayed in a job far longer than I ought to have done, loved the work, liked most of the people I worked for - I should have walked far sooner! I also had a job when I was 22 with a B**** of a woman boss …….. and due to monetary situation never though to walk from that one ::).
Consider how you are financially - what work opportunities are available in your region - tweak your CV ;): and let us know what you decide!
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Hello ladies thank you so much for your kind works and support. I am not the only member of staff being treated this way. I am not in the union and I am unsure if any other members of staff are. She asked me if I was "okay" today, she does not realise how insulting she was yesterday. I don't need to work really I do it for a bit of pocket money. I know I am so lucky. My husband says I should go and stuff the rest but I feel I should stay until a more appropriate time. I am loyal even though I get kick in the gut and so are the staff who are there at the moment. I have a notice period so think I might hand my notice in after Easter. I am currently looking around for something else.
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How long have you worked there?
I ask this as if you have been there are reasonable period of time and you feel you HAVE to leave because of harassment, I'm sure you can sue for 'constructive dismissal'.
In other words, although you are initiating leaving, your boss is indirectly 'dismissing' you because of her behaviour.
I would pop into your local CAB and see what they say.
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It might be worth speaking to the other members of staff to see how they are feeling.
I know you don't need the money but it's not nice to be forced out.
Rosebud is right, it would be good to go and chat to your CAB
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Walk. There will NEVER be an 'appropriate time' - been there, done that ……. you don't owe any of the staff anything, what you ask/tell them may well make it's way back to your manager, if they are protecting their backs - been there done that too :'( - the situation almost cost me my marriage :-X
Check your Contract of Employment, have an escape plan and go ………..
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I hear you CLKD I know there is no going back. After leaving work today one of the staff was given the feedback on her review by the boss apparently she came running out of the bosses office slammed her door and cried for ages it was quite awkward. I was told this by another member of staff who text me.
I am afraid to speak out really in case it gets back to the boss I am scared to say anything as it might affect my reference as I have to give the details of my last employer. I hate bullying and the effects of it on victims and now I am a victim. I will be okay and I will get over this and I am so much better than her.
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It is not allowed under employment law to give a bad reference - since the legislation came in, the (large) company I work for only gives 'off the peg' references that confirm the period of employment and job title of the person - they say nothing about suitability for jobs, attendance, attitude, etc, as it's far too easy to fall foul of the law. So don't let future reference worries stop you speaking out. Is there someone higher than your boss you could speak to, even if it's after you've resigned? Unless she is the company MD/owner, SHE has a boss who should be made aware of what is happening.
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Put in a grievance against your manager. Like scampi said she will have a manager she has to answer too. I know only to well how you feel its a horrible and upsetting feeling. I went straight to the docs one one day after yet another stressful and upsetting encounter with my manager, I just broke down in the consultation room and he said I need time away from work and gave me a two week sick note. Luckily after about 18months she moved departments.
Don't let her get away with it, standup to her and don't be scared, we are all here for you.
Clio :bighug:
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Clio, she won't be going anywhere :'( a colleague suggested today that if she ever spoke to one of us like that again we should all walk out. I don't think they will have the balls to do it personally. It is a tricky situation she can't do any wrong in the eyes of those who hold her to account so overall we are stuffed. The grand plan is to get rid of us and start again with new staff who have no preconceived ideas. It's rotten but it happens. Hopefully I will be gone before my turn to be picked on comes around again. Thank you all for your replies and support.
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Been there too - 3 of us were going to 'walk' and I was the 1 who did - the other 2 remained in post and tried to remain friends with me :-\ - both had 'good' excuses not to go - it made me ill.
Take that 2 weeks off and consider ;) - can't add anything to the reference situation that hasn't been explained.
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I've been in a similar situation and eventually did walk out one day - even though financially it was a disaster, it was making me so ill I couldn't cope any longer. I was unemployed for 6 months afterwards. As you say the reference situation makes it difficult. In the end after I had left I went back to speak to HR about the way I was treated - there was no resolution as such, but it made me feel 100% better about the situation, and eventually I got another job and have been fine since. I would never recommend anyone to walk out having said that - my self esteem took an awful long time to heal - but sometimes you just have to get out of a nasty situation if its affecting your health
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It's better to :na: than stick in an awkward Job ……….. the sense of relieve is wonderful. Trying to get resolution made me ill and almost cost me my marriage :'( ……….
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I have started looking every evening for anything suitable and have applied for 3 jobs this week. I have to just be patient I guess. I think someone had mention to her about how angry and insulted I was last week and maybe said she should apologise to me her response yesterday was to say "what I said came out wrong, I didn't mean it like that" and that was as good as an apology as I was going to get. My husband said I should have said "are you apologising?" But to be honest I don't care I just want to go and forget about the whole horrible episode. I plan to shut up do my job and get out asap. Thanks for the support :)
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That's a kind of apology. Probably not brought up to say 'sorry' easily.
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:foryou: thinking of you!
Clio
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Hello ladies, thought I would give you an update on my situation. Been for one interview but withdrew my application 2 days later, it just wasn't for me. At the moment I am very busy so just getting on with things, only speak to my boss if I absolutely have to. I know this is not ideal but feel this is the only way I can maintain my sanity and be relatively happy at work. I try not too feel pressured if she keeps dumping stuff on me to do I just put it on the pile and get around to it when I can. But of course it is early days as I had 2 weeks of and this is my first week back. Thanks again for listening :)
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Glad you are taking care of you! ........