Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: TropicalVon69 on March 06, 2015, 05:57:06 PM
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Does anyone else find they feel drained after talking to someone.....sometimes I just feel a constant sinking feeling also....is this common.....my thoughts are also very negative and dark.....bloody awful indeed....raging for 2 days and now drained ......xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
In answer to your question: Hell yes!
There have been times when I've felt hatred towards everybody, friends, strangers, family, you name it, and I always used to be such a people person. Tolerating some situations felt impossible and it was exhausting trying to manage my emotions. I have no idea where these irrational thoughts came from or why they were so powerful but they were real and I'm sure hormonal. It was like I had an evil twin!
Having said all that I am much less irritable lately and this may be my HRT helping or even evidence that this phase is passing.
Wishing you well and I hope you find some comfort and respite soon.
Take care.
K.
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Yes, very definitely yes. It is a struggle.
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I find the more I spend time on my own my neg thoughts go over and over. Spending time with people helps, exercise, good quality fish oils and vit d, c and the very needed b's are also a great help but do take a while to build up. I can leave some conversations absolutely drained at the mo as I am depressed. You need to help yourself at a time like this. I usually lift after period week but its been 4 weeks since my last period and I have had this nasty negativity for 4 long weeks. I am not panicking as am now taking propranolol but I am suspicious that the dosage is too high and is keeping me negative but will persevere a little while longer as I am functioning and was on the floor last month and don't want that to come back. So yes conversations do drain the life out of me at the moment. Is there anything you can do to help you relax a little? xx
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My kids and my hubby..I'm fine with. Got son finally sorted, daughter is a joy and hubby is just hubby warts and all ;D
However...my mother is a different story....she does not like me so yes it can be very draining.
Friends...I don't have many very close ones but they are fine. Lots of acquaintances that I can catch up with or not..they are the same with me.
If we are having health problems then sometimes it's difficult to engage with other people because your mind is just too busy with other things.
Sometimes though when I make an effort then it's really worth while.
For the time being....although I'm not going to grow a beard and become a hermit.....it's very appealing at times. ::)
Honeybun
X
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Do you find you draw people and their troubles 'to' you ? When I was ill with depression a lot of friends walked away which halved my C.mas card list ;) ……. peoples' problems can be draining so I have learnt to ditch those who are negative. I will help when I am able but I won't have people who down-load troubles onto me without taking back. Mum does this to me :-X but no-one else is allowed to drain my emotions.
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Hi ladies....thank you, your comments are very reassuring......I feel the same Kathleen.....I used to be the person who lifted people up, I am a holistic therapist and it is in my nature to help people and have usually been an optimistic and sunny person, however in the last year since hormones have played havoc, I feel like people are draining me.....my children included and I have been very frightened at the strength of my negative emotions.and its like other peoples negativity feed these....yesterday was a little better though, hoping that femoston is kicking in after 7 days as I want to be a stable person and mum to my children.....makes me absolutely weep to be honest....I also feel like two people sometimes Kathleen......it can be horrific quite honestly.....love and huggage to u all ladies xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I believe that feeling like you are two different people is more common than you think. I've had conversations with women who have said that when they are having a good day they are convinced that this is the real them, that they've returned to their natural personality and the meno madness is behind them, on a bad day they can't believe they'll ever feel normal again. It's probably our conscious mind trying to make sense of the emotional mood swings resulting from changing hormones.
Did I just read on another of your posts that you are feeling better today? I hope I got that right and I do wish you well. Hormones have a powerful effect on us as we are discovering to our cost!
Take care.
K.
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Hello TropicalVon69.
Me again. Just noticed that in fact you posted on sammy's thread yesterday about feeling better. None the less I hope the good stuff continues for today.
Take care.
K.
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Can anyone actually remember what normal is. I'm not sure I can to be honest. Since being on HRT I am a much calmer person than ever before. I'm not sure whether this is down to hormones being much more level or just total apathy. I rarely loose my temper these days....it's too much like hard work but neither do I have hugely joyous moments either....in fact I think it could be described as feeling flat.
If someone hurts me I just withdraw rather than challenging, I just can't be bothered.
I was always very chatty and now I'm not, in fact I'm quite quiet. It's as if my brain can only cope with so much and then closes out everything else.
It's a very strange feeling and not one I like.
Everyday there seems to be another challenge but perhaps it's just the ageing process. I really don't know.
Honeybun
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Oh I can chart my mental progress from about age 16 ::) ……… if anyone is interested :whist:
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Well today has been pretty horrid to be honest Kathleen...my youngest got up and was bleeding from her ear after having earache yesterday which threw me into a panic.....got an emergency appt at hospital and her eardrum is perforated......got anti bs for her and battled most of the morning to get her to take them....she is very strong willed....felt rage rising again and have had horrid thoughts all day though I went shopping with my cousin.....feel a little better now but now for next dose.....feel some days it is all too much esp school mornings my anxiety is rife.....honeybun, that sounds awful...how long have you been on hrt?....Clkd.....that is a long time...you must be one very strong lady.....tips?.....struggling today xxx
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Good luck with the ABs and your daughter. My son refused point blank to take ABs for a throat infection. I though well s*d you, your choice. Gave him the pills and walked away. As he gradually got worse he took them. He was 23 at the time.....adult and his choice.
Perhaps tell her she could go deaf if she doesn't take them.....then walk away. They generally see sense.
Honeybun
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Yep - give her the medication, explain that they are necessary but as a Young Adult she can make the choice - to swallow or not. Your choice all be to let her choose …….. this doesn't need to be a battle!
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Wee one is 9 ladies.....have explained that she could go into hospital and could affect her hearing....have explained til I'm blue in the face.....still not had any ...trying to stay calm but not easy
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My youngest daughter is 9 ladies and have explained to her that her ear can get worse and end up in hospital etc and she still refuses to take it.....has always had difficulty taking meds......oh for someone to take over for a while....no dads around and not coping with kids too well to be honest and this anger is draining....please God send some support
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I'm so sorry to read of your problems, having to cope alone with an ill child would test the best of us.
As your daughter is still young would the old star chart trick help at all? You can draw up a chart and perhaps a sticker for every dose taken or for every day of treatment. As you know the prize doesn't have to be very much just as long as it is something she would like. If she is expected to take tablets that are difficult to swallow perhaps you could ask your doctor/pharmacist to supply the equivalent drug as a liquid. When I was ten I had an abscess in my ear which made me very ill so I can sympathise with how your daughter is feeling. The antibiotic I was given came in a sweet syrupy mixture and I didn't mind taking it as I liked the taste!
Hopefully the day will get better for you and your family and please keep posting. We understand and we are here to help.
Take care.
K.
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How is young daughter? In pain ……… maybe that would make her take the medicine. It does seem that you require some support right now ….. is there any contact with Dad at all? if not, maybe approach "home start" in your area?
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Hi...thanks for your words of support ladies....wee one is OK but still no meds, have coloured it flavoured it and still no joy...phoned NHS 24 and they said you just have to get her to take it....ERM like how....no amount of bribery etc is working.....thanks clkd maybe home start or something is an idea x
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If she won't take it then she is in control. Walk away. If there has been upheaval in your household in recent years then she may be unsettled. So feeling in control is her way of coping.
Let us know how you get on!
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Thanks clkkd....it is my only option I think.....things certainly have been unsettled at home due to mum having meltdowns but she has always since little been very wilful and not taking meds.....love her spirit but difficult as a parent lol
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Is there some degree of a 'spectrum' disorder? something as yet not diagnosed? My sister was stubborn from before she was born, the cord was round her neck and she screamed to come out ….. apparently. Ever after she has been stubborn and awkward and always wants her own way :-\
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Not sure to be honest clkd, but she is a very determined young girl lol.....got her a different med with same outcome....she says she wants to see if it gets better on its own and have taken a step back and let her decide as have exhausted options lol..hope you are good xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I've just had another idea that you may want to try. It is possible to buy something called an Advanced Oral Dosing Pack which is basically a plastic syringe used for taking liquid medicine. We bought one for MIL from a pharmacy and instructions for use are included. Something like this might be enough of a novelty to appeal to your daughter so it may be worth a try.
I do sympathise with your dilemma but I gotta say I like the sound of a spirited little girl!
Good luck to you both.
Take care.
K.
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However at age 9 :-\ ……….
How is she today?
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Hi thank you Kathleen...I have been using a syringe from calpol bottle to try to get her to take it with no success but thanks for the idea.....Clkd yes I know....very difficult....she is OK within herself, ear is a little sore......I am struggling with anxiety at the moment however.....feel like taking a Valium this morning :-( xxx