Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: TropicalVon69 on February 27, 2015, 09:38:02 AM
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Sorry ladies, I need a rant....period week and I feel absolutely toxic and hateful....I just want all of this to end....scared I'm going to hurt my children....though I know I won't, I'm just so ang ry, shaky and hormonal.....this hell is too much to bear sometimes....horrible thoughts and feelings when I used to be such a bubbly optimistic person ....it can all EFF ....started elleste duet last month and actually felt like my old self for a few days and then my period started...took one da y of prog and stopped as panic started again and hasn't stopped though I only took one...have a doc appt at 2so hopefully she might start me on fomoston.....can't stand this much longer, to be honest today, I don't feel like going on though I obv will as I love my kids so much.....its such a cruel time for us....after a lifetime of Caring about and for people we get this ***t......sorry for negative post but have had it with peri already and only started last year.......went through hell last year, tried citalopram which gave me horrible frightening thoughts and still have them, though had some reprieve on elleste white tabs....effing sick of this existence at the moment!!!!
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Sorry you are feeling so low,we all know how you feel !
Good that you are seeing doctor but unfortunately for us all hrt takes time to work at least 3 months and usually it's the progesterone bit that usually takes some getting use to . Believe me I know that isn't what you wanted to know.
Someone else I'm sure will be along soon with some more help and encouragement
But for now sending love ,it will get better but it's a long hard slog .
:hug:
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Hi TV69
It's such a hard place to be in. I started with Elleste duet and lasted 3 months, the prog didn't suit me either. I remember feeling terrible on that part, when you go back to GP be adamant that you want Femoston. At least you are aware of how you are feeling and know it's not right. X
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It's all trial and error but 1 month really isn't sufficient time for your body to adjust I took at least 3 months to get use to Estelle duet but then it was fine for 4 years !
Now having to change to femoston and going though the same awful adjustments,panic,palpitations,anxiety attacks just terrible nausea, if only we could find a quick fix we would be millionaires !
But I really sympathize with you I'm in the same boat as you but we will get there one step at a time x
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I feel for you and I know where you are coming from. There have been times on this journey when I've felt as desperate as you and I've often had similar thoughts, it's not your fault and you are not alone in this.
I'm post meno and like you I have decided to give my HRT the full three months, a few weeks ago I felt better and now feel terrible again and the disappointment is crushing.
I have been guided and comforted by the lovely ladies on this site and I'm sure you will be too.
Let us know what your doctor suggests for you and I wish you well.
Take care.
K.
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It sounds like acute PMT - you need to talk with your GP about how desperate you feel! Have a look at the National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome and ask for advice there. You should NOT have to put up with these feelings.
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Thank you so much for all your understanding and comments ladies......it means solo much..just felt so awful the last few days and top of my head feels like its going to pop off today lol....the upshot of doc appointment was that she gave me femoston hurrah.....just a wee query though...when do I take it as I am 4 days into period and brain is befuddled x
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Glad your GP is sympathetic! You could ring a Pharamcist in the morning for advice? it may say in the packet bumph?
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Thanks clkd I will check it later as had a really busy day taking dad shopping etc and feeling very tense and fatigued.....thank you all so much xxx
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Good news!
You are supposed to start on first day of period I think so if you start tonight just miss the first 3 tabs in pack and that should keep you on track. I'm sure but don't quote me. I would cause you can't wait till next period x
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Hi just want to sympathize U had same reaction to citalopram. I have also been in that dark place. Whenever I'm struggling which is quite often I come on here and pour my heart to these ladies who are the people who know what it's like. Xx
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Awful isn't it Donna...hell on earth....thanks Milly, will take first one tonight and keep everything crossed.....totally don't want to wait another month xxx
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Good luck hope you get some relief x
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''after a lifetime of caring for people and we get this ''
That struck a chord with me, its so true
I can so relate to your post and now dread periods as they make me so irrational. I am currently having CBT with a therapist who I felt at ease with immediately (very important I think) and I am very hopeful. I do not take HRT so cant help you there but just wanted to say I hope you feel a little easier today xx
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Thanks again for your support ladies, I was in such a dark place this week and not for the first time feeling that I didn't want to go on.... I feel a little better this morning and my heart goes out to all of us in this sometimes horrendous journey....I hope for myself and all of us light at the end of this tunnel.....first white tab last night though I am halving them night and morning so as to minimise symptoms...I did this with elleste and seemed OK with it......hope to be of some Support to to all too......Can I ask you all....my period seems to come every 3 weeks so if it starts do I just continue with the green tabs until it is finished?...my period started after 2 weeks on elleste and a bit worried about this...will my cycle just fall into place after a few months of continuous hrt?...Thanks xxx
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Yes just keep taking the tablets even if your periods don't match up to the regime. When I first started I had a bleed at end of each pack for first 3 months then I missed a couple of bleeds then they appeared just as I finished white tabs oestrogen, but I felt good and GP said it didn't matter if I took a bleed or not. Just guve them a good try 3-6 months and note down how you felt when you wrote this post and in a few months you will see a difference, x
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Thanks so much for your positivity Millykin....feeling very anxious just now....trying to sort housework out but feeling exhausted and panicky....have sat down to try n relax lol....did you feel more anxious beginning femoston? X
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I was in a terrible state like you. I posted a thread "look how far I have come" in personal experiances a few weeks ago itson pg 3 now. It's shows the frame of mind I was in last February 2 months before I started Femoston.
Then when I started Femoston it was sort of each week I began to feel a bit better. I'm now in a good place but do get odd blip. Nothing like before though I just didn't want to be here. You will get better but it does take time. Some days I just couldn't move but I tried to push myself, hard work it was! Keep posting and we are here to help x
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Thanks Millykin, I remember reading your post and feeling hopeful about hrt.... Glad you're feeling so much better and I look forward to that too :-) xxx
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Little steps. I find that keeping busy works off the anxiety otherwise I dwell :-\
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Thanks clkd....I think I may be overbusying myself.....its so hard to know what to do for the best.....taken a real dip again.....will be glad when oestrogen kicks in x
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Eat, Girl! Eat ;)
It's awful, you have my sympathies :tulips:
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Certainly feel better after a big meal clkd but not had much of an appetite when feeling like the last few days and the horrible thoughts make me want to wither away.....however it is night time and after tea of KFC I feel a bit better....long may it last :-) xxx
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I have been eating lots of fruit, grapes, apples ect easy to pick at. I am trying telling myself ''its only hormones' and trying to do the 'floating' thru the anxiety and it has worked today. For the irrational thoughts I now question them, ask myself are they true and find a more balanced answer. I often have the thought that my husband doesn't love me !! ::) it comes out of the blue and I now just reason with myself with a more balanced answer which is in fact the true one. Hard but it does help xx
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KFC wouldn't be my choice when feeling delicate ;D ………. more likely to graze on dried fruits, nuts, Dextrose tablets ::) but do try eating before you feel hungry.
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I used to cook such a lot clkd and make balanced and healthy meals....of late it was exhausting and last night and the past few nights it has been takeaway....I don't feel good about it esp for my children but hey ho....hopefully we will get back on track.....I am struggling with kids just now to get my older daughter to go to school and get my youngest to do anything....so difficult when you feel in chaos yourself.....hopefully more balanced and happier times ahead x
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It's OK as a treat and 1 can share ……. we go to our local chippy every 2/3 weeks and share a portion ……… and since the shop changed hands the chips are crispier :)
Why won't you daughter go to School?
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Hopefully your Hrt will kick in soon. If it helps I had Hateful feelings today So I spent 10 mins dancing, it helped. Eating little and often helps and protein is a must. I hope you are easier this afternoon xx
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TV69 - I'm speaking from a position of ignorance here but is it possible for you to take your hormonal treatment in a "continuous" way for a few months so that your hormone levels are constant, your cycle stops, and you don't get a bleed? You'd need to speak to your GP about it but it might get you on a more even keel for a while so that you can catch your breath. If younger women can take the pill in this way so that they can go travelling or train for sports events etc without the hassle of periods surely, with supervision, it should be OK for someone like you who really needs a break from chaotic hormones... I hope you feel better soon. PS I agree completely with the above advice to eat enough - I feel terrible if I don't eat enough or late - crashing mood, self-pitying, cold, knackered, irritable and a whole pile of other less-than-endearing qualities! Sod the big bum!
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Clkd my daughter has bad pmt, headaches and sore stomach and refuses to go to docs....its frustrating, worrying and stressful.....been to school been offered counselling which she refuses, spoken to her friends, spoken to docs and am just at the end of my tether with the whole situation bth....I love her dearly but don't have the energy to fight right now......thanks EM....I know how awful those feelings are....I went to work today feeling depressed, come back and cried which makes me feel a little better....my brain is mush right now tbh lol....glad your dancing helps...started salsa a couple of weeks ago too....thanks Freda....I do feel exhausted with it all....when I'm feeling better I may try docs and see what they say.......hoping hrt kicks in soon, this anxiety is exhausting....sorry for negative post again....I really am trying to do positive things jus not feeling any better ATM.....hope you're all having a better day xxx
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Is your daughter at an age when she can refuse to visit the GP? if she is of School Age then maybe a Health Visitor at School? Does the School have a counselling service where she knows that she will have someone to talk with in confidence?
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Crying always relieves my feelings, I suppose its a way of releasing the adrenaline but for me it has the desired effect x
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Me too EM...definitely soothes me....just wish I could cry in the morning.....I just get so wound up and panicky.....esp now starting this hrt.....just want to feel better....totally fed up with it......daughter is 17 clkd and has had counselling set up inside n outside school ...hope you're having a good morning ladies xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I just wanted to send you hugs and please don't apologise for posting negative feelings, we all understand your frustrations. Menopause is challenging enough without coping with a teenage daughter!
I hope your HRT brings benefits soon, take care and keep posting.
K.
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Hope your morning went smoothly. I have kept busy as hubby has now gone depressed and I felt I needed to keep him on his toes to stop him dwelling. Not like him at all xx
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Hi Kathleen, thanks for your words of support....challenging it is lol.....EM felt panicky again this am but managed to get myself to work and home now .....teenage daughter is in bed not at school....driving me up the wall as she refuses all help and is not helping at home which is utterly frustrating as I'm struggling too.....hope your husband has picked up a bit EM....very difficult to keep someone else upbeat when you're not feeling great....hat off to you :-) xxx
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How old is your daughter?
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AAAAH - difficult age then. Young; still needing support, but trying Oh So Hard to be an Adult …….
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Absolutely hard Clkd....know its difficult for her with hormones and teenage issues esp when I'm feeling fragile and having difficulty...really just want to help her but she doesn't want help....feel I'm having to take a step back .....love her so much though x.
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I agree 17 is a hard age and you could certainly do with some help. Hopefully the anxiety will ease as the days go on xMy hubby seems a little better this evening, I don't mind supporting him as he has been a rock for me over the years. We are both getting over head colds so I think its dragged him down a little. My anxiety really whips up when I start doing dinner !!! very weird and in fact it went on and on tonight but all gone now I am sitting down and jobs are finished !!! I find that all quite strange x
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Do you share your feelings with your daughter? Does she feel that she has to keep quiet because you are having hormonal problems too …..
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How have you felt in yourself generally 2-day?
I am better in the evening, once all the commitments are over and done with ;) - I'm a different person in the mornings :'(
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Hi, So sorry you are having an awful time.
Do you know why your daughter won't see the doctor? Sounds like she is having a really rough time and there must be lots a GP could do to help (always supposing you have one who is any use at women's issues of course ::) )
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The docs have referred daughter for counselling Dorothy but not been much help otherwise to be honest...she is having a bit of a tough time with school.....but she's only got a couple of months left...fingers crossed shell get there xxx..thanks for your comment xxx
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Does she attend School all the while or does she go in when necessary?
When you begin to feel less stressed and reactionary maybe a sit down with the children and explain that hormones are playing a HUGE part in all your Lives …… that these are natural occurrences but that doesn't make it easier to deal with for any of you. Ask them how they can help themselves - putting them into control of their rooms, tidying the kitchen table etc.; and what would they like you to do for them ……… that way nothing gets missed and gives them the chance to open up.
What challenge does your daughter have when she finishes School?
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Oh those weepy sessions will be bonding ;) ………. Kleenex to hand ………
Rest when you can. Listen to your body ……...
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Thanks clkd...totally exhausted right now so chilling on the couch until I pick wee one up at 9.....thanks for your input :-)
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Keep yourself busy hunny, it helps it lift off xxx
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This won't last for ever so rest whilst you can. Make sure that you keep communications open between you and the family.
Why is a young person out at 9.00 on a week night :-\ ……. that's the time I head for my bath ;D
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:-\ did you get my PM ………
How's 2-day felt?
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Thanks clkd....today has felt mostly angry....been punching cushions lol .....how's your day been? X
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Thumping cushions is fine!
So far I'm OK - thanks.