Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: dazned on February 23, 2015, 09:05:22 PM
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Bit of a sad question but how do you ladies please time through the day .? Especially if it isn't a feel good day !
Hubby is at work,I only do " relief" work as and when required and at the moment not in good place to do so. But the day is so long up at 7 as can't sleep longer, one friend works shifts and other is having her own issues at the moment but we talk regularly on phone,weather is to awful to get in garden and having trouble concentrating on books,tv etc any suggestions?
Can't do housework all day ;)
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Do you have any hobbies, either at home or outside, Dazned? A good book can pass the time of day - or even one of those umpteen-piece jigsaws! Something to lose track of time in works best, I find. :)
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The internet takes up far too much of my day. Saving recipes on Pinterest, checking Facebook and email, looking up medical information. I really should be reading more books but I find I don't have the attention span to sit with a book for very long. I tend to jump around from one thing to another, housework, washing clothes, making food. I often go to my computer to "google" something in the middle of doing something else. I lose track of time while on the computer and forget what I was doing before ::)
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I was the same when I first gave up work. When all the jobs were done I find myself just staring out of the window.
Try to have a good walk every day.
Make a list of jobs for the day in the morning and include an additional one like tidy a draw or a cupboard.
Even if you don't finish them it gives you a focus.
Go out at least once a week either shopping, museum, cinema etc.,
Start a project like family or local history.
Join a club or society, or do some charity work.
This is just a few suggestions but think of what interests you and go from there.
(Rhubarb, I'm the same as you. The computer is a bit of an addiction I'm trying to wean myself off)
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If you go out for a couple of hours during the day, it really breaks up the day.
Do the food shop during the week and not at weekends, another supermarket another day for the 'top up' shop. Garden Centre (and a coffee whilst you are there). Bit of clothes shopping. Library.
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I spend far too much time on the internet.
Other than that, I walk my dogs, bake, do puzzles, tidy and sort (always something that needs dealing with here!), meditate, go to the library, run my children to various activities etc.
I quite often wake up with a feeling of the day stretching endlessly before me, but once lunch is over, it seems to go quite quickly.
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Thanks all for the great ideas will try to aim for some of the going out ones ,at the moment don't feel that I can manage that yet.
I love reading usually but just can't settle to it ,even watching tele find after a few minutes have no idea what has been going on ! The job I do is for a local charity I cover the retail shops when the managers are on holidays but at present I have had to say not to rely on me as I'm up and down with anxiety and don't need that added pressure. It's sounds so pathetic too when they ask what's the matter and I try to explain they don't understand if you haven't been there I know they can't really understand how debilitating and frightening it all is. :-\
Everyone seems really busy but I can't get it together at the moment .x
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One of the secrets of happy people are to have a 'purpose' - whether this is a vocation, a project or a hobby. Something that makes you feel alive, that gives you that 'hell, yeah!' feeling. The problem is finding it.... but once you do, you'll know. What kind of things interest you? Are there any hobbies perhaps ? I have a busy job but have just started Ceroc classes and am absolutely loving it, a friend has started classes in watercolours. Charity work is always good when you're feeling up to it, perhaps there's something that isn't as pressurised as helping out in the shops? Dog walking for a animal home can benefit them and you, as you get fresh air and fun too. When you do feel a little better, it's worth checking out Meetup.com for any local groups - there's bound to be something you can join that would make your days more fun.
Another important element in being happy is 'community' and this is why so many forums like this exist. Please do try getting out and about and finding that community that gives you the lift you need.... Dog walking again is one that is sociable and fun; could you perhaps arrange a weekly get together with old friends over a cake and tea; or get involved in some interest group that you've always fancied.
The third point that I find important for me is 'achievement'. I hate being unproductive and feel so much better when I've had a day where I've achieved something, or got closer to the finish line on a project. Make a list of things you need / want to do and try ticking some off each day, this puts you in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day, and possibly will give you the strength to venture out.
YouTube is fabulous for a lift when you're feeling at a loose end - there are so many motivational videos on there that really inspire you and give you the get up and go to make change. I'd highly recommend Jack Canfield, he's like everyone's favourite grandad and so very wise but easy to listen to.
If you're finding it difficult to get motivated for anything and anxiety is taking over, I'd suggest chatting to your doctor as there may be medical reasons you've lost your mojo.
Hope it all picks up for you.,
GG x
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Just had another idea!!
The Open University do free short courses on lots of interesting topics. Usually about 6 weeks in length you might find something to spike your interest.
http://www.open.edu/openlearn/
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Just remembered - Pinterest!
Can actually feel productive, because you can gather together things like recipes etc.
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Join an exercise class in daytime such as yoga or Pilates - good for anxiety and then afterwards see if anyone wants to go for a quick coffee, maybe no one will but I bet there will be someone who probably feels like you do and just delighted to be asked.
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One of the secrets of happy people are to have a 'purpose' - whether this is a vocation, a project or a hobby. Something that makes you feel alive..........
The third point that I find important for me is 'achievement'.
I'd second these, Dazned!
D.
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Yes, if like me working is out of the question, then finding a new focus and dare I say this ....a new attitude! This is an opportunity to do those things you never had time for before! I started singing lessons, joined 2 choirs, one of which starts with singing and ends with tea, cake and gossip. I have made new friends. Ive started yoga and I'm thinking of learning italian. Time to think what you fancy doing and have some fun! Oh I do a bit of voluntary work, which makes me feel useful.
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I had to give up a lot of things due to anxiety. I had pen-pals but if a letter popped onto the mat, panic set in because I knew I had to answer it :-\ :'( : I was unable to answer the phone, go into our garden if the neighbours were 'out', no way could I have gone to work. I couldn't concentrate long enough to read a book or flip through magazines, TV bored me as I was unable to follow a plot :'(
Now I am able to do crosswords, word-search puzzles; gardening or sitting by the ponds; short walks or drives into the countryside; I spent a LOT of time on here and on the settee watching TV ::) - I try to get all my chores finished by 3.00 p.m. ………. ;)
I found that making a list in the evening for the next day helped, by ticking off everything I did I could see what I actually achieved!
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Getting close to nature is always helpful for me too when I'm stressed or anxious CLKD, I love the peacefulness of it all but also a little gardening can be very rewarding too (particularly later in the season when you can fill your home with your flowers lovingly grown).
I've never tried yoga but that's meant to help focus? Meditation too though I find my mind just talks too much for me to be able to do that properly, although I occasionally listen to a mediation video on youtube during my insomnia hours.
GG x
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My boss used to advise Yoga - that was in the 1970s and everyone thought he was 'way out' ::)
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I work 2 days a wk but on the days I don't I crochet,read,do word searches,cook,go to a yoga class,walk,see friends and catch up with some TV.
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Oh crochet - you ARE clever ;D
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:thankyou: ;D
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Thanks everyone for the ideas ,will look into finding a daytime yoga class although I haven't the faintest idea about it ,hope I don't have to put my leg round my neck though or I will be scuppered before I start ! ;)
CLKD what you said about how you were is where Iam now !
I can't possibly work at the moment which I loved, I can't settle to read,which I loved, yesterday wasn't too bad as things go and last night I thought I could make a Victoria sponge but today just couldn't get it together enough to do it . The great sum of my achievement today was doing the washing up from last night! Whereas yesterday managed to drive out to get my hair trimmed and managed to force myself to go to supermarket to buy some fresh fruit ! Is this the sum of what my life has become! :'(
Booked double appointment with my doctor next Monday, although she doesn't believe in needing hrt she is being helpful doing what the specialist says and she says she will do what she can, maybe she can suggest something other than AD although I have no idea what !
I just want to feel well . Like we all do xx
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dazned :hug:
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Try not to rush! Listen to your body. Don't do too much when you feel better - you will use up energy. Making that list helped enormously - and anything not done 2-day goes on the one for 2-morrow ……
Sit. Deep breathing. Take time to smell the roses. Doze when you are able. This too will pass: I never thought I would move from the settee, never thought that I would be able to step out the door, go on holiday, take trips with DH :'( - that was in the 1990s and now some days, I can !
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Thanks CLKD it's just so hard. :'( x
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I know :hug: ……. I thought I would never recover but with a good GP and a loving DH ……. it took a lot of planning, a lot of talking, a lot of courage …….. little steps ;)