Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: toffeecushion on February 14, 2015, 07:31:00 PM
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Until last year I hadn't even heard of perimenopause. I think I am of average intelligence but I never knew about this stage in a woman's life. I assummed when I got to a certain age my periods would just stop. Why aren't girls told about this in school? Why don't mums prepare their daughters? Why aren't doctors more knowledgeable about it?
Too many questions, but forewarned is forearmed.
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It's not something that is done in school. They do what's relevant ....age appropriate....you can't tell 17 yr olds about meno.....just not what they need to know. I'm afraid that's up to mothers as the years go by.
Would you be interested in what will happen 30 years on the future...I know I wouldn't be.
Forewarned great but not 30 years or so.
Honeyb
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I'm not sure about telling us at school, but it would be helpful if GPs offered info after 30, or at least 40 - maybe on the back of smear tests, contraception check ups etc.
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I never knew myself and I don't think my did she had hysterectomy quite young. It would be useful if we were given information leaflets in 30s and 40s to inform us to be aware of changes and what is happening x
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Believe me, my children will know everything there is to know about perimenopause by the time I'm through it - they're seeing the effects first hand!!
My mother couldn't bring herself to even talk about periods or sex, so menopause wasn't ever mentioned.
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My daughter is in her mid 30s & she doesn't want to know. All I knew was that one day I'd go through the menopause, but had no idea really what it would be like.
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It wasn't talked about. Probably because women were having babies more often so their bodies were acting more 'naturally' in the cycle of pregnancy, childbirth, breast feeding etc.; by the time they reached 45 they were worn out …….. it was hard enough getting details of periods in the 1960s - I was able to ask my Mum by reading the back pages of her magazines and 'wondering out loud' ……… how many of us looked any further than our 20s? ……. I can't believe I've reached 60 so quickly >:(
Knowing wouldn't have made any difference …..
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Believe me, my children will know everything there is to know about perimenopause by the time I'm through it - they're seeing the effects first hand!!
Honorsmum - that did make me laugh! Mine are the same, there isn't anything they don't know about my body these days as I'm constantly moaning about one symptom or another or off on another round of medical tests! They're only 22 but I think they're already dreading getting older!!!
S x
Sparkle, mine are only 11 and just 9!
My son (the 9 year old) says to me, "Enough about periods!".
My daughter and I put everything down to hormones - hers or mine - at the moment!
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My daughter is aware of what I have gone through but to be honest she is only 20 and does not need to be burdened with my issues.
When the time comes....and I think it's right then I will talk to her in more detail.
I'm more concerned with her...making sure she is looking after her health and life ....that's how it's meant to be surely.
I have never talked to my son about periods....he is 25 and does not need to know about his mothers issues in that dept ....ever ::)
Honeyb
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A leaflet in the doctors surgery would be very useful - my mother never mentioned it. In fact when she was 60 and not feeling well, having tests and things, I piped up "do you think it could be the menopause?" I was 35 at the time! She replied - oh no, that was ages ago and moved onto something else. Things like that just didn't figure in her world as a focus.
Well woman centres are mentioned a lot on here and I remember going to these in my 20's or at least an afternoon a week where you could see a nurse about all sorts of things. Just to have a chat, for some information - sexual health clinics are numerous. We need some sort of widespread health promotion on all this. I had NO idea it was a whole body shift - until a few years ago I just thought periods stopped and that was that.
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Even GPs know naff all so informing the young is a non starter.
What I think would be great is DVDs. One for women as they near Meno and one for the men in their lives. No matter how much I explain things to my husband, and think he's got it, I then get 'what up with you then?'
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Had to laugh at your post Rosebud ;D
I get that too from huuby. You think you've explained what's going on, you have a few good days, then an off day,
H. "What's wrong with you? "
W. "Hormones, feeling a bit down "
H "but you've been happy lately"
W. "Ye it's just a dip"
H. "Mm thought I had done something"
W. "No just the way I'm feeling today "
H. "If you're sure your quiet today"
H. " you ok but"
W. "YES"
H "you sure I've not done anything to annoy you? "
W. "YOU HAVE NOW! "
(H -hubby. W- wife)
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;D ………. 'which bit of YOU HAVEN'T ANNOYED ME YET don't you understand' ;)
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I knew nothing about being peri menopausal. I just thought that one day I would start getting hot flushes and then soon afterwards my periods would stop. Quite an open and shut case.
It was only after I found this site that I discovered that such a thing as peri menopause even existed. And that sudden anxiety and inexplicable mood swings were a CLASSIC symptom. When I read that, and other people's very similar experiences to mine I actually had tears in my eyes because up until then I genuinely thought I was becoming mentally ill for absolutely no reason that I could fathom. I had been so scared.
Very early full menopause runs strongly in my family (one cousin was only 29, my aunt only 37) and so I will be explaining to my own daughters very soon about how this could affect them and their fertility.
It was only after I opened up to my lovely Mum about my horrible symptoms that she exclaimed 'But that's EXACTLY how I felt back when I was about 40!' and we talked more and realised we had experienced almost identical symptoms of sudden anxiety, mood swings, insomnia. At the time (this was back in the 80s) my Mum was considered to have had a mini nervous breakdown and was just given tranquilisers which she refused to take. She just suffered until having a hysterectomy at 43 followed by HRT and 'magically' all her symptoms disappeared.
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Just started to think this morning as to when I first knew about the menopause.
It was when I was quite young (8 or 9 years), and I watched from the landing window as a friends mum ran down the road screaming, closely followed by her husband. My mother said not to worry as she was 'going through the change' and it made some women a little crazy for a while.
I now know how right she was.
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To think year's ago these poor women were put in asylum! :'(
Look how far we have come!
Doctor,I think my hormones are causing my awful symptoms
Yes you are depressed/need therapy/ antidepressants !!!
Really how far have we come?
One doctor told me I was asthmatic and me away with a prescription for a ventolin inhaler! Really ! :-\
Sometimes you have to see the funny side of it ;)
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It would help women enormously if ALL GPs had the same information about menopause in general - some seem quite switched on (I'm lucky with mine) but reading here there are an awful lot of GPs who simply dismiss it - hopefully the new NICE guidelines, if/when they materialise, will help - but I can't help feeling a little worried about the impending guidelines - lets hope they get it right!
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To think year's ago these poor women were put in asylum! :'(
Look how far we have come!
Doctor,I think my hormones are causing my awful symptoms
Yes you are depressed/need therapy/ antidepressants !!!
Really how far have we come?
One doctor told me I was asthmatic and me away with a prescription for a ventolin inhaler! Really ! :-\
Sometimes you have to see the funny side of it ;)
Dazned, that is almost word for word the conversation I had with my (female) doctor!
Me: I think I'm having a hormonal crisis.
Her: How's your psycho-emotional state? (For that, read - it's anxiety, here's a prescription for antidepressants).
Me: It's very much more than "just" anxiety.
Her: Your blood tests are all fine, which would suggest it's not.
Aaaaargh !!!
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For many women the menopause comes as a big shock - it is still a very taboo subject and the press doesn't help with the sensational way it reports research about HRT.
Well Women Centres that cover everything from puberty, contraception, female health issues and menopause are needed all over the country. Centres that can offer good information and support would free up the GPs time and resources - I'm sure too much time and money is wasted on menopause issues at most GP surgeries. Mammograms, cervical smears tests, womb scans etc. could all be done in one place and this would facilitate prevention and treatment of many things. The issues we face need to be dealt with by professionals who have a good knowledge and ongoing training for what is required. There would then be a consistency and appropriate treatment. Proper regular assessments at certain times in our lives could be very cost effective - not just tests like cervical smears but a MOT that would give each women a chance to discuss various things that she may be experiencing, especially at the time of the menopause. GPs are not specialists and to expect them to keep up to date is simply not realistic. DG x
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I do agree with you DG about Well women centres ! :clapping:
I don't expect GPS to be experts but simply awareness and not dismissing you out of hand is really not acceptable in this day and age . There is alot of wasted expense on the wrong drugs ie antidepressants,when that isn't the problem. If they don't know enough they should refer you IMO. Mine wouldn't even do that ,hence the private route for me and she wouldn't do a referral letter either luckily my gynecologist saw me without one. Good job we have each other :) x
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I don't expect GPs to be specialists but some have very little knowledge about perimenopause. I wonder how much more knowledge and awareness there would be if it happened to men. I am sure they wouldn't cope as well as we do.
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GPs are there as that was their choice when they did the Training ::) - but when a lot of our GPs did that Training menopause wasn't on the subject matter …….. each Dr does their initial training and exams., then during GP Training they are attached to each Firm at a teaching hospital for 6 months on a rotation basis. So they do Orthopaedics, Obs and Gynae, Paediatrics, Medicine, A&E, in a GP Surgery - then they apply for jobs in that final 6 months.
It would be useful if GPs were to have input into such Forums as this early on but when young, 'our' time of Life is way ahead of what they believe they require. Drug Companies used to 'fund' evenings at Hospitals for Consultants, Registrars, SHO to attend ……. to flog their wares as it were.
It would be useful if GPs were to have ladies evenings so that we can discuss what we require in a more relaxed atmosphere!
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CLKD - a great idea - I suspect it might be difficult to set this kind of thing up at every GP surgery.
On a very simple level some decent leaflets with a clear list of symptoms and treatment options for meno symptoms would be a good start - info about sites like MM and daisy network should be given so women can do some simply research and know which websites they can trust.
A big poster in every surgery with the symptoms listed e.g. Do you have: Hot flushes, nights sweats, aching joints, poor sleep, palpitations, urinary problems, increased anxiety etc.? - these symptoms can be menopause related, so talk to your GP about your treatment options.
A poster like that would be seen by men as well and perhaps educate them about what women go through.
This leaflet or poster could form a starting point for a discussion at an appointment and make it easier for women to discuss the whole subject. This would cost very little but could help many women pluck up the courage to get the help they need.
This should be available at every GP surgery and would force GPs to actually take notice of women instead of simply diagnosing them as depressed and handing over the prescription for ADs. Dg x
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Hi DG/CKLD
I'm fine for posters and leaflets but feel uneasy about the state of some of us and how we feel about being "identified" so openly. I know from a recent comment made when I was out socially that a lot of us just don't want to speak about this taboo yet.
For me, surgeries are all aware of our emails addresses, ages and have processes already in place for calling us in for other complaints/tests/flu jabs etc.
So for me an initial email round their over 40's to enhance relations on the peri/meno area would probably give an chance to explain some issues that your mentioning in posts and how/when/where to go to get help.
:-*
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peegeetip - yes, another very good idea. I think it has been suggested before that a routine call in, perhaps in our late 40s, should be standard practise to actually discuss the menopause and the changes we experience at this stage of our lives. Even if a woman isn't getting any real problems there may still be small issues that need to be discussed and possible lifestyle changes or treatment options put forward. I would like to think things will be different for our daughters when their time comes. Dg x
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How many GPs are not interested in the menopause though? because it can be seen as expenses coming out of budgets. They prefer to be dismissive and give the woman ADs instead of informed advice :bang: :bang: :bang:
:thankyou: DG!
Drugs Companies are slow in coming forwards about this …….. they could be more pro-active!
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I can understand it wouldn't be appropriate to teach kids about menopause at school. BUT I have been on the pill since age 30 (now 39) and nearly every time I have gone to the doctor they have mentioned birth control options I could consider 'once you get to 50'. But not a SINGLE mention of menopausal symptoms!!! If they are going to talk about birth control post-50 to 30 year olds, why not talk about perimenopause while they are on the subject...
Having said that, gynae care for everything other than conception and childbirth is abysmal in this area, so why should the menopause fare any better?