Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Millykin on February 10, 2015, 03:55:38 PM
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It's my daughters birthday this week and we always go for a family meal. It got me thinking about this time last year. We went for dinner and I was dreading it, feeling sick, palpitations, not wanting anyone to look at me, not wanting to go out. A right mess, pre HRT I might add! I sat in the corner with a bowl of soup and glass of water wishing the night away (and my life). Felt as if I was ruining everyone's night. Today I made the booking for dinner and looking forward to it and all my favourite food, and that's when I thought of last year the mess of me. 10 months on HRT and WOW that's when I realised how far I had come! Did have a blip after new year but put that down to kidney infection. Even with that I wasn't as bad as before. I must remind myself of that day when I'm feeling a bit off. Funny how something makes us sit up and take notice x
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That's great Milly, sometimes it really helps to think back and then you realise how far you have come.
Are you going far, or is it a local hostelry ;)
This is one thing I have yet to conquer......at least I can go shopping now so hoping to try a meal out soon.
Enjoy your evening.
Oh and :hbday: To your daughter.
Honeyb
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Thank HB. I can do a quick shop myself but hubby does big shop ::)
We go to HH along the road from you, have done family birthday meals there for years, girls choice for steak x
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This is such a great post to read, Millykin!
It's lovely to hear how far you've come - it gives encouragement and hope to all of us who are struggling at the start of the journey.
I hope you and your family have a fantastic time celebrating your daughter's birthday. :cake: :congrats:
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I like that place very much. Used to go quite often. Not too big or crowded either. My son used to live opposite and down a bit.
Of course you do know no one else will have a clue what we are talking about ;D
Honeyb
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Honorsmum I just thought about it today and hopefully it will encourage others, I just couldn't believe it myself when I thought about it! Some days I feel down down but no where near that and is has gave me a right boost. There is light at end of the tunnel ;D
HB I know, our secret ;)
It is a very welcoming place, we always ask for extra tablet with coffee! X
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That's great news Millykin - glad it's all working well - onwards and upwards as they say!
I presume from your comments that you two have discovered that you live near each other?!!
Hurdity x
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Honorsmum I just thought about it today and hopefully it will encourage others, I just couldn't believe it myself when I thought about it! Some days I feel down down but no where near that and is has gave me a right boost. There is light at end of the tunnel ;D
HB I know, our secret ;)
It is a very welcoming place, we always ask for extra tablet with coffee! X
Tablet...that narrows it down to Scotland, then! ;D
Yes, it's so good to be able to look back and see progress. All the seemingly small things other people take for granted, like eating out, going to the cinema etc are huge milestones when you've been in a dark place.
I remember when I was unwell 5 years ago, I struggled to imagine ever being able to be so carefree...but suddenly, you are that person and you hadn't even realised how far you'd come.
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Hurdity thank you.
Yes HB and I discovered we are 5 mins away from each other, small world ! We have probably passed on main roads and may even been in same shops. Who would have thought x
Honorsmum yes Scotland! ;D x
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Well done Millykin.
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I must say a big thank you to all you ladies too, this site and reading others stories has been great. :thankyou:
Some of you know I was on Femoston 1/10 and had kidney infection after new year and thought I wasn't absorbing properly so was going to get gel but GP was off sick so I just took Femoston 2/10 to try, I know it is early as only started higher dose on Friday but today I just feel so clear headed and in control. Wether that has effect or not I don't know or it could just be the realisation of this time last year who cares I'm good and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Hope you all keep well and thank again for support x
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It's great when we can actually see the steps forward that we take.
Yes Hurdity Millie and I stay in neighbouring villages and went to the same school although years apart. I also think our daughters may know each other despite going to different schools as my daughter had a friend in Millys village.
It's a very small world and as I drive to mums I always think of Milly.
Honeyb
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;D oh the suspense HB, often think of you when driving that road, maybe one day we will be standing in supermarket and feel the vibe. Just to add I won't be shouting out HONEYBUN if I do get a vibe! ;D x
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We could look for panicky people with the haircut that may or may not be mushroomy ;D
One day Milly, one day.
Honeyb
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;D
I just edited my last post x
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Maybe we should wear a discreet badge that says MM. ;D
Really how would we know....... ::)
Sweat dripping off the end of the nose. Lets face it ....in our nearest town if your around 50 you are really very young....oh and not sitting on a mobility scooter. Have you seen the couple that are driving the Harley Davidson of mobility scooters around town. Think someone has given them a mention on the Internet....they are famous....and dangerous ;D.....oh and it's not me ::)
Honeyb
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;D
Ye I'm like a spring chicken in my village! Haven't seen the Harley scooter, must be funny. Just a lady scooting about my village who is dangerous too. She often parks at a bus stop and goes about her business, that or she parks at roadside and shouts at the drivers who park near her! X
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:rofl:
Well done you! that's why I keep a calendar during my shaky times so that I can look back and see that I did survive ;)
:hbday: to the Birthday Girl!
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Thank you CLKD, will pass on birthday wishes. Good idea about calendar I might start that. Then I can compare. Just hadn't thought much about it convinced I was much the same until I booked meal then got thinking about last year. IBe really amazed myself :medal: for me from me! That's how proud I am ;D x
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You GO GIRL! :tulips:
anxiety is marked on the calendar 1-5 - 5 being really bad anxiety ……..
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Thanks Sparkle, hope all is well at your end x
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Oh no Sparkle. Thinking of you :bighug:
It can only get better ... I hope :) x
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It's my daughters birthday this week and we always go for a family meal. It got me thinking about this time last year. We went for dinner and I was dreading it, feeling sick, palpitations, not wanting anyone to look at me, not wanting to go out. A right mess, pre HRT I might add! I sat in the corner with a bowl of soup and glass of water wishing the night away (and my life). Felt as if I was ruining everyone's night. Today I made the booking for dinner and looking forward to it and all my favourite food, and that's when I thought of last year the mess of me. 10 months on HRT and WOW that's when I realised how far I had come! Did have a blip after new year but put that down to kidney infection. Even with that I wasn't as bad as before. I must remind myself of that day when I'm feeling a bit off. Funny how something makes us sit up and take notice x
That's great.
What HRT are you on pls?
Ah, Femoston, I see, woops.
Maybe the higher dose is what you needed.
I've read instances where some hrt worked really quickly for some women.
Mine took a good few weeks to affect my flushes and I still get some so I may ask to have the dose upped, i'll see how I go as things get a little bit warmer.
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Oh Sparkle health anxiety was my big problem, calming now, but it's got to be one of the worst things x
Dandelion I'm on one you have used Femoston. Started at 1/10 now on 2/10 since Friday. It's good for me. Started last April on HRT
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Just read your thread Millykin.... and it makes me feel that there is light at the end of this seemingly very long tunnel..... I am unable to go down the HRT route but still hope that all will be well :) have a beautiful time with your daughter xxx
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I hope you had a fantastic dinner with your daughter Millykin and it is encouraging to see how far you've come....can I ask if your anxiety got worse at the beginning of hrt?....well wishes, Yvonne
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Well this is the thing Yvonne, in May 2013 I was diagnosed as peri meno (few flushes no bleed for 6:7 months) felt ok but GP done tests x2 said I would benefit from HRT so started Elleste duet. I didn't have a clue at the time. After 3 months all hell let loose, that's when anxiety begun, palps ect. Came off HRT and tried to cope (all the while blaming that and I wasn't touching it again!) things got worse so in April 2014 I went back and asked for Femoston 1/10 so gradually since then I have got to where I am now. Don't get me wrong I'm expecting a few wobbles but the comparison to last year..
So your question, well with first HRT Elleste yes things got worse but it could have been prog in that as I feel good with prog in Femoston. I did feel better within few weeks of starting Femoston. X
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Hi Millykin....its elleste duet I've been given....now 5 days into oestrogen and anxiety has gone up......also worried about the proesterone pills as some ladies have trouble on them....confusing and frustrating business all round...with hindsight would you have gone back to docs earlier for her change? X
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Oh definetly. If had I known then about different preparations ect I would have gone straight back and changed immediately to Femoston. As I said I just took what she offered no questions asked, just thought HRT is HRT I'll take it. Is this your first attempt? I think Elleste is cheaper option and given out first time if you don't know anything x
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Oh Sparkle health anxiety was my big problem, calming now, but it's got to be one of the worst things x
Dandelion I'm on one you have used Femoston. Started at 1/10 now on 2/10 since Friday. It's good for me. Started last April on HRT
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Hi Milly
I'm glad the femoston works for you.
It did nothing for me, I was on 2/10, some women just dont absorb the pills. Mebbe my IBS was stopping absorption. Evorel is good though
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So lovely to read your story Millykin, thank you for sharing it with us.
Even though my FSI levels and bone scan show I am NOT anywhere near menopausal my consultant thinks I am definitely peri menopausal because of my symptoms.
Like you it's the sudden anxiety and feelings of doom/panic which has been the hardest to bear. It's so evil.
Your post really resonated with me as last year we took our daughter out for a birthday meal last year and it was just the most awful experience. I just felt so low with constant pangs of anxiety. I was scared to be in the restaurant. But I was scared to go home too. Basically I just felt so frightened of everything and anything that night. And it all happening in a little bistro that we have known and frequented for years and years.
I don't think I have ever felt quite so dreadful since that night. But I am hoping that HRT will make such a night a very distant memory.
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Gypsyroselee
Just remember how you felt that night and how you are now. I had the most terrible night last year and it only dawned on me when I booked this year how far I had come. We tend to think we are getting nowhere but when you look back at certain times we are. I posted it because it will help others knowing we can get there, maybe not the way we were but getting closer.
I had such a great night last night it was as if I was a totally different person laughing joking wanting it to go on all night! Far cry from sitting in a corner with soup and water forcing it down wishing everything and everyone would just shut up and disappear! I'm sure you'll know that feeling ;D
I'm only 44 my life should be good at this age. Wishing you all the best Gypsyroselee x
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Just proves how much we can improve Milly. It's a lovely place and very relaxed which I imagine would help.
Was that kind of thing your biggest problem
Mine were shops and queues.....which are mostly under control.....and restaurants...which I have yet to try. I think I would need a glass of red to get me there.....then there is the doctors anxiety and the hospital anxiety.......ok shoot me now ::)
Honeyb
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HB all the things you have mentioned were a problem, I haven't tried larger restaurants yet. It was the food thing feeling sick and watching everyone eat and famy discussing what they would have! I can do small shop as long as queues are small, or big shop if hubby with me, it's that open space and lights thing. My daughter attends hospital a lot, got over that cause if anything happens I'm in best place ;D
I've adjusted so well because I don't make plans as such (some I have too) just each day as it comes, and I just tell myself I can ask hubby or other daughter to go to hospital appointments.
I even noticed tonight when I nipped up to town I was happy and having a bit of banter with staff, almost skipped out of the shop, oh I hope it lasts x
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I hope so too Milly.....maybe would should face some things together...hold each other up lol.
Why do hospitals and waiting rooms have to be so hot...makes it ten times worse. As for the dentist...ummm...nope...not yet.
You are doing really well. Keep it up.
Honeyb
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Oh I was at a clinc with my daughter and some poor lady sitting opposite me looked terrified, red face, fanning herself with a leaflet looking about I felt so sorry for her I got up got a cup of water and gave her it and just spoke to her. On my way out she ran after me thanking me so much for what I done she said she was anxious and couldn't even move but I just calmed her right down. No one noticed it was as if I knew her. I have seen her again since at clinic with hubby and they both wave x
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:medal: