Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: EllaM on February 02, 2015, 02:15:56 PM
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Hello everyone, a year since finding this site and working out for myself that everything I was experiencing was a result of the peril menopause I have decided the time has come to seek your much valued advice and support. I will try to be brief in my story:
3 years ago I started to just not feel myself but could not put my finger on what was wrong then bang I started to feel reply ill as if my body was fighting a virus. I had terrible insomnia, night sweats and diahorrea and from one day to next could not predict how I was going to feel. I felt so dreadful I was signed off work for a few weeks. As I had a pre-existing thyroid problem the symptoms were put down to thyroid hormone levels fluctuating. When the symptoms persisted my surgeon agreed to remove my thyroid and this was done almost two years ago. I prayed that this would provide the solution but it id not. Since then I have had horrible symptoms from time to time including horrendous anxiety, depression, tremors, not feeling able to cope, tinnitus, sore mouth, weight gain as well as the insomnia and night sweats. Before all of this I was a very confident, fun loving fitness addict with a full time manqge4rial job and now I am just a shell of my former self.
I began to realise that my symptoms were cyclical and started to do my own research. When I found the information and advice on this sight it was such a relief to realise what was happening and that it wasn't all in my head as had been suggested so many times. I had every medical test going but when they all came back negative not one clinician suggested it could be linked to the peril menopause even though I was 46 when it well started and was still having fairly regular periods although they had changed in nature. The only thing that was suggested was anti depressants (Citalopram)
In Feb last year after several weeks feeling unwell I visited my GP to ask for HRT. She was very reluctant and urged me not to but I insisted. I started on elleste 1mg hoping that it would be a miracle cure as I was so desperate. After no improvement the dose was increased to 2mg. Again no improvement so I asked for Femosten which many of you said was very good. Again no real improvement and I noticed that I seemed to feel worse on the progesterone phase. Another visit to my GP with me having to tell her about suitable patches for peri menopause! Femseven 50 prescribed but they were hopeless as they would not stick. In desperation I emailed Dr Currie who suggested Estradot 50 with Utrogestan 200 on days 15 to 26. She suggested that at this stage (3 years in) I may need a higher dose to level things out.
Things seemed to improved at the end of last year on what the consultant at the menopause clinic described as the crème de la crème of hrt. However on Christmas eve this all changed with a vengeance and apart from one week at the beg of Jan have been off work. The consultant has increased the estradot to 75 for a month with a further increase to 100 after this. She was however very keen for me to increase the dose of citalopram to 30mg which I was reluctant to do as I am sure this is hormone related. Since the increase to 75 I seem to feel worse: horrendously sore bobs, nausea, insomnia, night sweats... and I now feel like giving up on the hrt as I have read that too much estrogen can give the same symptoms as too little.
I am so desperate for help as I have no life and don't know how much more of this I can take. My poor husband has been incredible but I feel so bad for him particularly as our sex life is non existent. I also have amazingly supportive family and friends but feel so guilty that I am a burden. I also feel so guilty about my job.
I think even words of support would help as I feel so low :'(
Sorry for the essay!!
Marie xx
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:welcomemm:
Did you increase the Citalopram? as this can ease some menopause symptoms.
I pressed the wrong button ……… :-\
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Hello Ella, I am not really able to help with advise on how to level things out, just wanted to say I am sorry you are struggling with all of this.
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Yes I have increased the dose of citalopram to 30mg and have been told I can increase to 40 if i wish but really would not want to do this as I fear not being able to get off them. To be honest though the physical symptoms have been just as debilitating as the emotional ones.
I really do appreciate your words of advice and comfort. It helps to know that there are others going though the same thing.
xx
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These are not addictive. Once you become more stable you will be able to wean off the Citalopram. [been there, done that ;) ]. Take today as 'now' ……… let the medication 'do' it's work! Half a day at a time ……….
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I've been on Citalopram previously - 30mg - and came off it ok, with just the odd "brain zap". The thing to do, when you get to the point of coming off them, is to reduce very slowly - you can use a pill cutter to take tiny bits off each tablet every few days, if need be.
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Hi Ella, I am so sorry that you are gong through such a hard time. Reading your post is exactly how all my symptoms started. I was feeling not myself for about a year and then in May last year I started to suffer a little bit of anxiety and low mood. Just before Christmas I had a melt down and could not function at all. Anxiety, depression, dizzy spells, lightheaded and tinnitus. Like you I was signed off work and felt guilty about it, and what I was putting my family through. I have now started on HRT (Femoston ) although I am really scared of the risks involved. I have only been on it a week and to be honest I have actually felt worse today, so not too hopeful. Sorry I can't offer you any advice, but just wanted you to know you are not suffering alone, and this site is a fantastic form of support.
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Brain zaps, had forgotten those even though occasionally I still get them ::) - my GP gave me reducing dose tablets, available only for weaning off ;)
Essexragdoll - give your body time to adjust if you can, hormones are up and down and the HRT will boost those, which can cause a bit of wooziness etc..
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Thanks CLKD I know I need to give them time, I am just very impatient, hopefully each day I will see an improvement.
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Thank you everyone for your advice, it really is appreciated. I just feel that after a year on HRT with no real improvement should I just come off it or does anyone have any experience of a higher dose levelling things out?
Also does anyone else feel at their worst in the morning then improve as the day goes on? I sometimes wish I didn't have to go to sleep so I don't have to go through the horrible mornings.
I have so many things I want to do with my life but when it's like this I can't even see a future.
Sorry for moaning but I know many of you will have had the same feelings. I just want to be truly happy again.
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EllaM
I've been on HRT for 10 months I'm due review tomorrow and thinking of higher dose or changing from tablet to gel and Utrogestan. I feel I need higher dose. Picked up a little on HRT. With regards to feeling bad in morning yes that's common, as day goes on its gets better and you wonder what fuss was about! I'm 44 and feel I'm wasting my life thinking of all this meno lark. We should be having fun :D
X
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Yep - mornings have always been the worst time for me :-\ - once my commitments go I can relax and by evening I'm a different person …….. I have learned never to say 'yes' to anything after 3.00 p.m.!
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I have just lately learned to say "I'll let you know nearer the time" if I say yes I just get myself into as tizzy about it, makes me ill!
X
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Same here Millykin - even when I agree I insist that there are 2nd/3rd back ups, in case.
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I just wish I could function better in a morning so that I could perhaps plan to return to work in the afternoons when I generally feel better. At the moment a big part of the problem is feeling that I could not cope and having no confidence at all.
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Tell us more about your job? Could you do a phased return or job share?
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Hello EllaM and welcome to the forum.
Like the other ladies on this site I recognise a lot of what you say and although it's a comfort to know we are not alone it would be great to feel normal again.
I am using 50 mcg patches atm with Utrogestan 100 mg on days 1 to 25. A while ago I experimented with a 75 mcg patch which resulted in very tender breasts but this is not a problem on 50 mcg. I also tried taking Utrogestan vaginally as many ladies do but I have a fibroid and noticed a pink discharge so I take it orally now.
I am 58 and four years post meno but only been using HRT in the last 18 months. During this time I have been guided by the wonderful ladies on this site who have informed and supported me in my efforts to feel better and I know you will receive help in the same way.
Wishing you well on this journey and sending hugs. Menopause is horrible for some of us and you have every right to moan !
Take care and keep posting.
K.
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This is EXACTLY how I feel. Hang int here - hopefully we will feel better soon...
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Hi Ella,
So sorry you're having a rough time, this is not easy is it?
I am always more anxious on a morning and feel easier and happier on an evening. I also put off going to bed knowing I'll wake up feeling horrible again. I also wake early and have horrible negative thoughts which i struggle with until I get up.
I guess it's hard to know whether the HRT is helping after a year, maybe you could try a different regime if you feel this one not helping enough?
Maybe you need a good long chat with yr GP? Hugs xxx
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Hi Jenster, before seeing this post from you I had actually just replied to your other post as everything you said rang so true with me. Just wish we could hug and have a damn good cry on each other's shoulders. Nobody really prepares you for this but it's so horrible. We will get through it so keep strong xx
Hi Kathleen and Jedigirl and thank you for taking the time to reply. It's always good to know that there are ladies out there who can offer words of support. Going to persevere until I see the consultant in a couple of weeks then will decide what's next xx
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Hi EllaM
Not sure if I've welcomed you on another thread - I have a feeling I might have done but if not :welcomemm: from me too!
Sorry to hear about your symptoms and problems with HRT.
You mentioned you had your thyroid removed and that you have been putting on weight as well as feeling tired in the mornings. I presume you are taking thyroxine of some sort at the moment? It does strike me that perhaps that aside from menopausal symptoms you may need to increase your dose slightly and has this been tried at all? Weight gain and morning tiredness are classic symptoms! Also when you were taking oral HRT - this interferes with thyroid meds. Here are some notes I made previously form a paper I read:
Oral oestrogen/HRT raises circulating levels of thyroxine binding globulin, therefore increasing the bound fraction and decreasing the free (bioactive) fraction of circulating thyroxin (T4). The conclusion was that oral oestrogen/HRT may increase the T4 dosage requirements of women being treated for primary hypothyroidism.
I also always feel tired in the morning (I am 61) and I am sure this could either be to do with decreased thyroid or testosterone - both of which decline with age - even though my thyroid levels are within normal range.
Hope you feel better soon! :)
Hurdity x
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thank you for response Hurdity. I do need to get my thyroid levels checked as it's almost a year since this was done.
I'm 6 days post progesterone and feeling pretty awful at the moment which I gather can be due to withdrawal. I need to be on the ball as my mother in law has just died and my husband and children are devastated and need support. There is so much to do.
I have also had a message about hormones needing to be supressed rather than topped up e.g. Qlaira so will look at this as am desperate for any improvement.
Marie xx
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It never rains but it pours …..
'message about hormones' - where is the message from?
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I received a personal message highlighting a post from pixiegirl who has been prescribed it.
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:thankyou: