Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kathleen on January 31, 2015, 07:01:02 PM
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Hello ladies, I have one of those " is it just me questions " for you.
I was looking through my trusty menopause book and I noticed that Feelings of Pessimism is listed as a problem of the menopause. Reading this got me thinking. When I'm having a good day I am convinced that the things I am doing to help myself are working well, I am pleased with the effects of HRT so far, I believe the supplements I take are doing a good job and I reckon my diet and lifestyle are generally good, however, when I'm having a bad day I am equally convinced that the HRT is making me worse, the supplements are probably poisoning me and my diet and lifestyle has me on the road to ruin. So, is it just me and is this an example of the feelings of pessimism that the book talks about do you think?
I am amazed that my views can be the polar opposite depending on my mood, it's not rational but it's real.
On a good day I think "Yay, it's over, I'm out the other side and this is the real me " but the bad days have me despairing all over again and doubting that I'll ever feel normal ever again.
Thanks for reading ladies and I look forward to hearing your views and, in case you hadn't already guessed, today has been a bad day.
Take care everyone.
K.
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Hi Kathleen,
You were so supportive to me on my thread, I hope I can be the same to you.
I can completely relate to how you are feeling. When I feel "normal", ie my old self, I feel positive and like I can handle whatever is thrown at me. I can be optimistic, look forward things, make plans etc. However, when the symptoms hit me in a particular way, I can't help but feel that this is it - this is how I will feel forever...and then I can only just manage to go through the motions, all the time thinking, "I can't be bothered".
Maybe pessimism is just another word for mood swings, as far as hormones are concerned?
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I'm exactly the same....on a good day I'm full of optimism and full of plans of what I want to do...I normally find this takes place towards the end of the day.
Then I have a miserable day like today and get very low for a while, again perking up around dinner time.
I suffer badly from IBS especially in the mornings.
Today I have been in woe is me mode....the thought of struggling with this into old age just does not sit well at all.
I can't actually remember the last day I felt well for a whole day.
Sorry to sound so negative but I just wanted to say you are not alone in feeling the way you do.
What the answer is....heaven only knows.
Honeyb
X
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Hello honorsmum and thank you.
I think mood swings is a better description actually.
Some time ago a lady came back to the forum to say that it does get better, telling us that we will find solid ground again. We live in hope.
Take care.
K.
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Hello honeybun and thank you for your reply.
I know what you mean, I am capable of feeling very sorry for myself and it's not a good look.
As it is evening I hope you are feeling better.
Take care.
K.
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Honeybun, I'm the same. I wake up most days feeling pretty dire but improve as the day goes on and feel "normal" by evening. I go to bed feeling optimistic, which makes waking up feeling rough the next day so disappointing.
Sometimes, the whole day can be a series of swings from feeling bad to feeling good to feeling bad again - it's exhausting!
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Depression and anxiety took me over in a similar way through-out the 1990s. I would sleep the afternoon away …. so that I could get to the next day when i would hopefully feel better :-\ - I didn't until the GP gave me ADs and Betablockas ……….. and until after I had accepted chemical assistance.
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Totally agree with everyone's comments and I find it fascinating (and a pain in the bum) that my mood can go from one extreme to another in a very short space of time for no apparent reason!
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Keeping a daily diary can help us see that we are just having a bad few days as we can look back a see the good days that we have had. I am the same as you and on bad days I am convinced I have some very serious mental disorder and that its nothing to do with meno. On good days I realise I was depressed on the days I thought that. Its like Bi Polar but it only started 3 yrs ago when I was 48 xx
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Hello CLKD, crazylady,sparkle and everyones mum and thank you all for replying.
Your comments are such a comfort and as it looks like I'm shaping up for another jittery day, they are very much appreciated.
everyones mum - your bi polar remark makes a lot of sense to me and also worry about my mental state.
I'm off to visit MIL now which won't help my mood any !
Thanks again ladies and sending hugs to you all.
K.
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Everyones describing me exactly! Makes me wonder how many women were locked up many years ago for mental health issues when it was menopause making them like that.
X
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Hello Millykin and sparkle and thanks for taking the time to reply.
I definitely would have been locked up!
Apparently the mother of author PD James, who died recently, was in fact committed to an asylum for what is now believed to be menopausal problems. I also wonder if part of the witchcraft story comes from witnessing older women behaving strangely and out of character, perhaps even the women themselves believed they were possessed? ( being burnt at the stake or dipped in the duck pond would certainly solve all hormonal problems. Sorry, in a strange mood, just off to polish my broomstick...)
Sending hugs ladies.
K.
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My grandmother on my dad's side (I never met her) apparently tried to gas herself in the oven during the menopause!
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I also had to visit my MIL today :'(
The diary thing helps me loads because I am the one who has written it so I cannot say 'what if what if what if'
My hormones are still fairly predictable as I am still having periods, although much closer together these days. My PMT starts 3 days before a period, my deep sad depression kicks in on period week and by day 5-7 I am at a point where I loathe everything about myself and my life and anxiety is at boiling point. Day 7-14 see's me dragging myself thru daily chores and slowly getting back on track, days 14 -25 I am my usual old self and catch up on all the jobs indoors that I let slip over the period week and then the pmt sets in again. It is a constant battle and currently proving extremely hard as my mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer which sadly has spread.
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I also had to visit my MIL today :'(
The diary thing helps me loads because I am the one who has written it so I cannot say 'what if what if what if'
My hormones are still fairly predictable as I am still having periods, although much closer together these days. My PMT starts 3 days before a period, my deep sad depression kicks in on period week and by day 5-7 I am at a point where I loathe everything about myself and my life and anxiety is at boiling point. Day 7-14 see's me dragging myself thru daily chores and slowly getting back on track, days 14 -25 I am my usual old self and catch up on all the jobs indoors that I let slip over the period week and then the pmt sets in again. It is a constant battle and currently proving extremely hard as my mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer which sadly has spread.
So sorry to hear about your mum, everyone's mum. You must be feeling very emotional. Sending you love and strength.x
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Kathleen all those witchcraft stories make sense that it could have been menopause symptoms these poor women were going through. They wouldn't have had a clue back then. I think it's only because we are being told its hormones and natural to feel like this that we struggle on. X
Honoursmum
Poor women must have been tormented by it all x
Everyone'smum
So sorry to hear this thinking of you :bighug: x
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My grandma was in a mental home with what I am sure was PND. Don't know if any treatment was given but she was there without her baby.
I keep a record on my bad days - 1-5 is my reckoning, because 0 is no anxiety and 5 is when I need the extra medication. I can then look back to see that I did and how I survived ::) - I have a pooh chart too :-\ otherwise I forget ……..
Got low today when my gut felt funny again :-X
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Thank you ladies, toughest call I have ever had to face and my anxiety is at fever pitch so may see the GP and try beta blockers again xx
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Hello everyones mum.
So sorry to hear that your mum is unwell and I'm not surprised that you are stressed.
As you know the ladies here are very supportive so keep posting.
Take care.
K.