Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: jedigirl on January 24, 2015, 01:50:22 PM
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I feel so sad as another student in my town has drowned in the river. His poor family and what a waste of a young talented boys life. If investigations show drink and river safety are to blame again(2 other young deaths in the past 14 months) something must be done to protect these young people who are after all barely past childhood and vulnerable away from home. My heart goes out to him and his family xx
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I love Durham City. However sad this is, they are young adults ……… they can be given the basic skills and advice, after that … same with drink/fast driving, drugs, bungee jumping …….
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So sad. Been similar deaths recently near our daughter's in Notts. They live near a canal.
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CLKD, yes no doubt young adults get into trouble though I think more could be done to prevent them being by the river on a night. We are a fairly small town , it wouldn't be too difficult to block steps down to the river after a certain time on an evening or fence off areas of danger.
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It so sad hearing this, youngsters out looking for fun and thinking nothing will happen to them. More can be done. It has happened here locally a few times last ones being Aug 2013 when we were in Menorca and girls read on FB, all over papers when we got home, they were friends of the boys siblings so sad.
Heart goes out to families
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Water and youngsters don't mix well cubagirl , very sad
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Whether accidental or deliberate, it's just so sad. I'm always terrified when our granddaughter runs along canal bank. Path is about 4ft wide, but one slip or trip...... Yes she can swim, but it doesn't bare thinking about.
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A young medical student fell from a window in Edinburgh recently. Tragic really.
Drink and drugs play a very large part in this kind of thing. They loose all caution and control. Some of the things my daughter told me she had seen in halls made my blood run cold.
I remember the incident that you are talking about Milly. My daughter knew some people that were there. Dreadful thing.
Honeyb
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Yes, cheap drink offers in pubs should be illegal I feel. Its too easy for them to get wasted in no time on little money. Also I do think the riverside areas near to the pubs and student bars could be made safer to try and prevent this happening again.
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I so agree. Kids.....and that's what they are, can go out for a night with £10 and get absolutely wrecked. Drink is far too cheap and most students are hard up but if they can get drinks for a £1 what chance do they have.
Honeyb
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Absolutely honeybun. I just hope lessons are learned this time. One death was awful, three is heartbreaking. X
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Unfortunately I think that pub revenue seems to be more important than the safety of our young people. The government look to the wrong things. Something needs to be done to protect our youngsters. If that means pricing them out of the drinks market then so be it.
Honeyb
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Couldn't agree more. It breaks my heart to think of those parents. We owe these youngsters a safe city whether they come from Durham or study here. Young people will always push the boundaries, as we did but let's protect them where we can
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There's a place near us HB where they go jumping off the pier in summer (p) I hate hearing the youngsters saying their heading there, I once heard a group of kids saying they were heading their and knew my niece was going do I drove down and put her straight in the car! Needless to say the rest followed and headed home. Went to her mums work and told her and what a bollocking she got, I couldn't live with myself if I knew she was there and I left it. I had done it previously to my own daughter when she was younger, no drink involved but just plain stupid
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I know where you mean Milly. It's scary but worse when alcohol is involved.
I know we did silly things but there never seemed to be the emphasis on drinking that there is now. In my day ;D it was still looked down on for a girl to be drunk.
Changed days.
Honeyb
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They are young adults and must learn to take responsibility. It doesn't matter how cheap drink or drugs are, it is their choice! trouble is, when people fall into very cold water it literally takes their breath away. Sad for everyone concerned. No amount of 'telling' makes it real until it happens within a group, however old that group might be. The shock is the same, the sadness continues ……. hopefully those close to anyone who has such a tragedy will be more aware ...
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Quote from Durham Constabulary today;
"One of the areas we will be looking at, with the support of the Students' Union, is the welfare of people affected by alcohol and late night drinking.
“In the days and months ahead there will be several partnership meetings to discuss these issues.
“It's broader than simply putting barriers at the riverside.â€
Durham County Council has promised to deliver a review of river safety, and students have called for gates at access points to the river.
But Supt Huddleston added: “In the past two years we have been working hard to improve the safety of students in the city, it is not just about river safety but about young people's safety across the board.
“While CCTV, barriers and lights is something I welcome, this is a far greater issue.â€
Read more: http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/8203-Euan-Coulthard-search-Durham-police-address/story-25917744-detail/story.html#ixzz3SJY0g2gl
Follow us: @LincsEcho on Twitter | LincsEcho on Facebook
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We have the Clyde up here.
It's a huge issue with students. How on earth do we educate them that getting blind drunk is not smart.
As I said some of the things that my daughter saw and was subjected to in halls was not funny.
Honeyb
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"It's broader than simply putting barriers at the riverside"
. Others are first timers away from parental influence so go a bit silly with tragic consequences. This is something that should be addressed before pupils sit their 'A' Levels! Discussion groups in Schools would be a starting point to give children/young adults, already au fait with alcohol, something to think about. That drink = consequences. They also need to have it pointed out that it is not pleasant for those clearing up the results!
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My youngest son is in year 6 and they are currently studying a safety carousel that includes responsibility around fire, water, drugs, electricity and health and relationships. If this was offered at appropriate levels throughout education maybe it would protect our youngsters more?
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I really don't know what would help. Our kids saw us have a glass of wine with dinner on occasions. If they wanted to try they got a watered down sip when they were younger. From 16/17 if they wanted a small drink they could have one. They never saw anyone drunk as that's not the way we are.......did it stop them wanting to experiment as they got older.....did it heck.
Then the rules were layed down very clearly.......do not come home drunk as its not acceptable.
Then they moved out and who knows.....I think they are generally sensible but I know they have both made mistakes.
What more can a parent do except try the very best they can to prepare kids for the outside world.....sadly sometimes it makes no difference at all.
Honeyb
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Jedigirl - I think it would help some [like myself] but others will go their own way because they are fearless as well as immortal.
Honeybun - I think you are right, sadly :-\
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Yes sadly, for some those moments of madness or carelessness will cost them dearly.
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My daughter used to work in a video store for extra cash years ago. One chap she worked with went on a bender one weekend & thought he could walk a bridge parapet. He didn't make it. Fell 100 ft.
I may have gotten a bit tipsy on occasion when out when I was younger, but was always in control of my faculties. I'd have been too terrified to do things which would endanger my life.
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They say some people are born and they take risks in life, think of the thrill first gives them a rush while others have fear instincts like myself who always analyse the dangers first.
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Millykin - I was too scared of 'getting wrong' when I got home ::) so tended on the cautious. Also women are more cautious in general.
It could be fast cars, free-boarding, skiing ………. un-related to drink. Sadly some are born not to survive :'(
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I'm devastated by this, he was on the same course as my daughter, and they were in the restaurant with him that night, and he wasn't drunk so they really need to keep investigating
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It's very sad, and if drink/drugs were not an issue it really does need further investigation.
But (and I may get shouted down for this, but it has to be said), MOST of these incidents ARE down to some sort of substance abuse. I work in York, and there have been incidents of students ending up in the river after a binge. Last time, the president of the student union said the council should be fencing off the river to prevent such tragedies!!!! I'm sorry, but surely he should have been promoting responsibility amongst the student population, not passing their inability to know when to stop drinking off as some sort of 'rite of passage'! York is beautiful, and its long river-side footpaths are part of that beauty - why should the whole city be blighted by the lack of responsibility of a few?? >:(
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Scampi - I agree. Tradegy happens. 2 months before we were married a guy was shot dead on the river bank …….. the gun had been fired from 2 miles away by teens who knew where the key to the Gun Cabinet was kept. They had no idea that the bullet would travel so far and find a target :'(.
One can slip into water/under a car/train etc. in an instant whether or not substances have been used. Also, how would others know what had/not been taken :-\
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hanging.on.in.there
its very sad, hope your daughter is okay.
Durham is generally a safe place and such a beautiful city to live in. I do hope this is well investigated. I can understand that young lads will go somewhere private for a wee but the path is not that close to the river. It seems odd to me but no doubt all these things will be looked into.
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thank you for your kind and thoughtful words jedigirl and janm ( although in no way is this 'my' tragedy). He was a quiet, charming person and his friends feel there is more to this than is assumed. Anyway, our thoughts are with his family, and thank you my daughter is coping well.
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'more to this … ' I expect the Police will investigate their concerns. Sad for everyone concerned.