Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: CLKD on January 05, 2015, 04:53:05 PM
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Well I stopped sending my sister birthday/Christmas gifts 12 months ago because she didn't bother thinking about my 60th and our Mum told me that my sister is struggling financially. I did intimate that I would continue to send her 2 sons money as and when as long as they let me know that the cheques had arrived. I don't need to know what they have spent the money on …….. but when they do write, it seems as though she is standing over them ……. they jot down a few words which sometimes don't make sense ::) and aged 27 and 30 ……. for example 1 wrote 'Thanks for the gifts' …….. gifts, it was a cheque, if you've spent it give us a clue as to what on? the other said thanks for the card, apparently he hasn't received it yet but will do soon :-\ ……. it is obvious that my sister has provided each with a small notelet and she addressed the envelope. At what point do adults begin to address envelopes themselves rather than having Mummy do it for them ………. :-X
The other on-going issue is his brother - remember the debacle and upset with him not getting my birthday gift to me until C.mas Eve.? well as we were leaving their house that afternoon, he and his wife began quizzing me where I will be putting their gift and will I light it every day/evening ……. :bang: …. it's nothing to do with them, they have no idea as to the current lay=out of our property 'cos they haven't visited here for over 20 years ::) [phew!] ……. and I really don't want to display their gift because it will remind me that again, they didn't bother getting me something that they can post so that it reaches me before or on time :poke2:
That's it until something else lands on my bonnet :D
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;D you've got that all off your chest now CLKD- forget it!
I've cut people out for lack of thanks. It doesn't cost anything......well,maybe a stamp,note let......... ;D
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When I give presents to family members I don't see I get a thank you phone call. I have had calls from 2year olds which is lovely. It means I get a chat with the older ones and a little chance to catch up.
The thought of men of that age writing a thank you letter is a bit bizarre to be honest. What's wrong with lifting a phone and saying ....thank you Aunt CLKD and how are you.
Well it's how it works in my family.....keeps the connections going I think.
Honeyb
X
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I sympathise, CKLD.
My nephew is a bright eight year old who has a phone and enjoys writing. I have never received any form of thank you from him - call, text or letter - so when I bought his birthday presents last summer, I added in a small pack of Roald Dahl 'Thank you' notelets and a pack of stamps amongst his (v generous) gifts. Not only did I hear nothing back, but when I questioned him about writing thank you notes last week (couldn't resist) he announced that his mum had lost/thrown away the cards. I give in ...
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:o ……….. off my chest but not out of my brain :-X
The nephews rarely have any contact because we haven't seen them since 2006 and I haven't been a part of their Life ……. so we are remote. But the thought of my sister making them do their thank-you notes and then addressing the envelopes ::) they are Big Boys Now!
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My niece thanked me on FB.
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Don't do FaceBook ;)
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She lives in Oz. Only way we communicate these days. She posted pics too which was mice.
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….. mice ;D nice even ;) ……. there are other ways, it's known as Snail Mail or e-mail! or pick up the phone >:( always remembering the time difference!
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I am feeling a little bit put out at the moment as I gave my step daughter £3,500 to put towards a new car in March. She phoned me to ask if I could help her out as her car had given up the ghost and she needed one for work. I know that her father would have helped her (my husband) but sadly he is no longer alive and I was happy to help. However, this is the first year since my husband died that she hasn't sent me a Christmas card. I also sent £20.00 each to her three children in a Christmas Card but have heard nothing! I know her mother is unwell at the moment so I will make allowances as she is usually very thoughtful. It still hurts though to be honest :'(
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Of course it hurts. But her Mum being unwell should not stop a quick phone call. How old are the children?
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They are 16, 15 and 13 so old enough to thank me themselves!
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I thoroughly agree. So next year, an envelope with 'did you receive the gift I sent in 2014?' ;) …… my Gran did this, 1 year a couple of her grandkids didn't bother with 'thank yous' so they got empty brown paper parcels ……. and as we all met up at Christmas ;)
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Oh Crikey, she was a brave Gran ;D
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She was the Matriarch! [sp] …….. it worked too!
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Do your nephews still live at home CLKD.
I have to say if I presented my 25year old with a thank you card I would be told he was old enough to deal with that kind of thing himself.
I brought both of my two up to say thank you and now I leave them to it as they are adults. They both choose to phone and say thanks with no interference from me.
Maybe you should just stop. I only give now to the younger children in the family and not the grown up ones.
Honeyb
X
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Nope - I do not accept that attitude - they are Big Boys and could at least remember to send a thank-you. I will be having 'words' with their Mother ….. her sons come and go as they please for various reasons. Being remote is not a good enough excuse!
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I blame the parents, as children we had to sit and do our thankyous , accept that social media is taking over so why cant they email or send a text, ? Love the empty brown envelopes,
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I feel I'm being taken for granted :-X