Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: TropicalVon69 on December 12, 2014, 03:59:57 PM
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Just had to vent how I feel today ladies, forgive me for negative post....Just feeling totally depressed, peri and periods due but just want to cry...I've no interest in anything and feel empty and cant thin straiht or atall really...head fels fit to burst...had a friend in this afternoon and just had nothing to say...want this to end....feel utterly depressed about Christmas and the thought of my gorgeous girls having to put up with me through Xmas n being miserable is too much to bear today....no presents bought for anyone apart from kids n grandparents....our tree is usually bulging with presents for people and has none.....but its my girls that makes me most sad...I want them to have a lovely day and just feeling joyless ....I know I'm not the only one here but feeling so depressed....Hope you are all having a good day, XXX
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Aww maybe nearer the time your mood will lift. :hug:
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This feeling will pass. Today is a bad day let it wash over you, tomorrow you will feel better. I am struggling with Christmas too, really cant be bothered. Up days, down days, indifferent days thats how it is especially for us menopausal women. The key to feeling better count three things to be grateful for each day, exercise, meditate, do random acts of kindness. Hope you feel better soon x
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Thanks ladies, yeah tomorrow is another day, hopefully a better one for us all, just cant really say all this to friends...thanks for your positivity Gilaray and Cubagirls XXX
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You sound depressed. This is a bad time for anyone feeling below par or worse.
How old are your girls?
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Hi CLKD...my girls are 9 and 17 and yes I do feel depressed...hoping it lifts a bit for Xmas x
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AwW Tropicalvon 69.....what a horrible way to feel isn't it.
I feel for you and have felt like that on days myself this past few months....do you take HRT?
Iv had to start a low dose anti depressant, Iv tried to fight it myself since the beginning of October but everyday was like Groundhog Day so I took the advice of my doctor and after just a week taking them I feel a little better....now I look back and it's scared me of how low I really was...it's scary.
Let us all know how your feeling tomorrow.....hot chocolate, cozies on and take it easy. ❤️
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So when you are hungry, do you not eat? So if you feel depressed, why not talk to your GP about medication for 5-6 months? Lifting the mood will let you see the wood for the trees. Relaxation and 'me time' can lift mood too. I have deep bubble baths most evenings, with a cuppa and Very Good Book ;)
Start small: you have 2 healthy girls, you can discuss here, you can talk to your GP …….. little steps
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Hi Renee no, not on hrt unfortunately, although my doc has referred me to a meno clinic but unsure how long that will take.....have tried citalopram but aftter 6 weeks it made me feel even worse.with horrible thoughts...that was scary and put me off taking ads to be honest...glad youre feeling better and ads working for you..awful though isnt it....thanks for your message xxx
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Thanks CLKD I tried citalopram but had a very bad experience and scared to try anything else to be honest.....I have been keeping bsy but have crashed today.....yeah night times are much better and a good book at bedtime takes my mind off things X
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I had several different ADs before we found 1 which works. Awful side effects though :-\
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Hope you app comes through really soon. ❤️
There's no meno clinic where I live...wish there was as General Practitioners aren't totally clued up with menopause stuff are they.
Keep us updated and take care xxxx
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My first meno clinic appointment came through within about 14 weeks. Don't know if it's the same all over the country though.
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Feeling a by better ti morning ladies, no school run so a wee bit more relaxed morning......thank you all for your kind replies and positivity...Clkd, what side effects did you find with your ads?......thatsawful Renee there should be local meno centres all over >:(....no gps definitely arent clued up about meno...are you receiving any treatment?.....Cubagirl....14 weeks feels like a long time from here lol....did you get anywhere with your appt?...Obv were all at different stages of meno and all different individuals so know that different things work for us all but what works for you ladies? Hope youre all having a good morning :foryou: xxx
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Hello TropicalVon69.
I've just read your post and wanted to send my sympathies. I recognise so much of what you say and feeling joyless seems especially cruel at this time of year.
Hopefully you'll turn a corner soon and wishing you well.
K.
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Hi Down Day
Don't forget that Xmas is stressful under normal circumstances! So don't put pressure on yourself to feel festive. I take hrt (premique) and Escitalapram which I think better than Citalapram, have you tried a counsellor? That would help you but I agree with the others that you need to speak to your doctor. Good luck!! X
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Glad there's a little improvement!
Side effect I am unable to tolerate with any medication is nausea - within hours I can't eat, I feel dizzy, I feel awful - the only way to improve is to stop which ever med is causing the issue. Some AD side-effects can be overcome ……….. the more recent 2, 1 I had in 2002 was OK but didn't boost my brain enough; now I take escitalopram[Cipralex] 5mg night and morning. If my brain needs a boost I take extra 5mg at night.
Making a list each evening helped me focus. I could then go about on automatic pilot.
Do all those presents really need buying? We have cut back hugely in recent years. When I was ill in the 1990s I did EVERYTHING by catalogue. The 1st that plopped onto the mat each Autumn got my custom ;) ……. because I was unable to go into shops, even the village one, it was impossible. Calendars are my fall-back item, each to buy, easy to wrap, quick to post …….
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Sorry you are feeling down Tropicalvon69. Order your gifts online, you might feel a bit better after and it will alleviate some of the Xmas stress/anxiety. X
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Thakls ladies, it's not so much they shopping as I have been forcing myself out as there was a period of anxiety at the beginning of all this a few months ago I wouldnt go out or felt I couldnt....I t prob has bee a combination of not able to focus, leaving things too long and being skint, but all f this I can deal with, its the hormonal crap that goes with meno that drags me down......as Im sure you all know esp after reading your posts...hopefully period will arrive beforehand lol and all will be if not joyful then as least ok...oh ladies how do we cope sometimes I dont know, actually I do, because were brave, optimistic, strong and care for the people around us if not ourselves sometimes.......thank you all so much for the care, wisdom and positivity....God help us all :hug: xxx
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So you're going to do what about the present buying? Plan ………. ?
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Pretty much buy what I can with the money I have spare and if I cant then I cant Clkd...feeling much more positive today....after all at the end of the day, people matter more than stuff so today I am refusing to be upset about it...Tomorrow, however is another day ;) x
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It's the thought behind things that counts and not how much you spend.
My daughter is a very hard up student. She wanted to buy her dad something special on a limited budget. She has bought little bits and bobs, I have provided a basket and she is making a lovely hamper up for him full of little treats. He will see the effort and probably like that better than anything else.
You can only do your best :hug:
Hope you feel better really soon.
Honeyb
x
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Glad to hear your a bit better Tropicalvon69....and that's hormones for you, every day is just so different. I tend to try not make plans to meet people or do stuff too far in advance as you either let people down or yourself down!! Im learning. Lol
Im on HRT, thyroxine and now an anti depressant....apart from having to take thyroxine, Iv tried different vitamins, exercise etc but unfortunately Menooause won in the end and I had to take HRT etc or else I would have lost my mind as well as my family and friends!!
Im usually a good all round laid back person but the person looking back at me in the mirror and the things that come out of my mouth doesn't seem like me....I feel Iv changed and not for the better to be honest.
Im angry, irritated, hot, tired, look awful with dry hair, blotchy dry skin.....where did I go?
I hope I come back one day soon....😕😕
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Thanks Hpneybun, I usually spend a long time looking for a present for people and buy something I think yjey will love (within financial reason lol) regardless of how cheap or expensive, I just havent had the motivation this year with meno but also do not give to receive, so for this year only it will be cheap, cheerful and with bit less thought lol....I'm sure your husband will love the gift from your daughter as all gifts have been picked spc for him...as you say, thought and care matters more than anything :)
Thanks Renee, yeah I feel the same ...sometimes feel like the grinch that my heart has shrunk and other times so happy or sad that I care more than I ever have about people and situations, what a bewildering time it is and feel for our famillies...my youngest told me last night she wants her old mummy back, broke my heart tbh and also feel for us .....yeah barely recognise myself either...wishing us a speedy return for all involved xxx
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Tropical
One of the beat things for anxiety/mild depression in my opinion is yoga.
It can calm your mind, tone your body and feed your spirit. It grounds you and makes your thoughts less dark and worrisome makes you more able to cope with day to day life with a more positive approach.
Just look up the stats for the health/mental benefits - there are many
It should be prescribed on the NHS
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Thanks Gilaray, I did do a yoga session a couple of weeks ago but instructor was retiring but hopefully there will be a new instructor after the holidays to replace her but I found even the one session helpful...I felt a wee shift :-)...thanks for the advice XXX
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I also had a bad experience with Citalopram made me suicidal so Ii can sympathize I am terrified of other drugs now. That was three years ago this Christmas and I also have 2 girls. I am still having problems getting right hrt still. This time of year brings back all the memories but can honestly say my girls have made me proud. They know so much about hormones and mental health now. I appreciate all my good days and we appreciate small things now just to be together at bed time. Sounds mad but I remember the days I couldn't find good thoughts. I hope you get some relief soon. I try to practice mindfulness you can get it online. Try and make yourself find odd happy thoughts throughout the day. Sending you hugs as been there xxxx
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I agree - standing still when I feel OK is important - looking round a shop, or at the sea, or doing stuff in the garden without anxiety is appreciated.
A small gift now is OK - one can always meet for coffee or buy a treat when seen during the year.
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Yeah Donna, I know how that feels.....thank you so much for sharing and or giving me hope...havent tried hrt yet though....bloody awful isnt it....have crashed again today with period, crying, runs and cold, not sure which orifice to attend to first :o....have been practising mindfulness, thanks.....things are a bit better thoiugh than a couple of days ago....hope you have a lovely Christmas with your girls and so glad for you that youre in a better place...what hrt have you tried?...that is my plan Clkd....hope youre having a good day ladies xxx
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standing still when I feel OK is important
I need to remember this as I tend to race about catching up all the things I have overlooked and neglected when I feel ok. I often think of the poem 'What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare' but I forget to apply it.
I used to misinterpret it. If you onit the first comma it reads completely differently.
Sorry I'm rambling on :-X
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We all ramble here …….. whether we can remember what the topic is however ::)
'take time to smell the roses' ;)
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I an trying estrogel at the moment just keep crossing my fingers lol. It is impossible for anyone to understand if they haven't been there. I knew it was citalopram making me suicidal but everyone was saying this is what you need. On a plus note I appreciate every hour I feel ok and take nothing for granted anyone. I hope you get in a better place soon but please get help if your struggling I have even used Samaritans on days needing to cry out. Try and get to a menopause clinic x
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Thamks Donna, I have been referred to meno clinic just recently but unsure how long it will take to get seen...hopefully not long to be honest...yeah found the same from friends n familly saying doc says I should take it, but it gave me some horrible delusional thoughts that I am still struggling with...good luck with the estrogel Donna and thanks for the encouragement and support xxx..
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Keeping a journal can help: vent, vent, vent ;) gets it out of your head!
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Thanks Clkd, I think that will be a regular in the New Year....great to have understanding sisters ;D