Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Joyce on November 07, 2014, 08:25:36 AM
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Hubby heading south & I was heading back from airport after dropping him off. Bad lighting, bad road marking. Designated taxi lane suddenly stops 10 metres from traffic lights. I signals to go into left hand lane, taxi undertook. Would have been my fault though. Bit shook up.
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Oh CG thats horrible. Have a nice warm drink and relax. You are safe and will feel better as the day goes on
I hate driving in the bad weather, just cant seem to see properly these days.
Love and hugs to you :bighug: (http://:bighug:)
PN x x
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:hug:
It's horrible when that kind of thing happens. Glad you are ok.
Feet up and relax until you feel better.
Honeyb
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I just hate driving in the dark, end of! It's a horrible bit of road, which I'm not used to driving. Thing with these designated lanes is if you're caught nipping in just a bit too early you get a £60 fine. Son's GF got caught, about a metre early.
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glad you are all right. I don't have the confidence to drive like I used to especially on roads I don't know or in poor visibility or busy times. Now my husband has a new car I am even less inclined to drive it ::)
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I'm fine now. Been out in car again, albeit in daylight. I'm fine during the day, but find it ever so hard driving at night these days. Hubby has confessed he feels likewise when it's dark. It's much harder to judge distances when it's dark. Drivers are much more aggressive these days, or is it because I'm less confident?
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Sorry about your near accident. Most drivers will have been there, me very much included. Don't beat yourself up! You are ok.
Unfortunately, road markings are not always driver friendly or logical. We have a roundabout now with new lane markings and traffic lights which is horrid. You need to know the road number to get in the right lane, and you can't read road markings if it's very busy. It's not enough to know which road you want or destination. People either go round and round or cut in dangerously sometimes, if they are unfamiliar to it.
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CG- :hug: I hate driving in the dark.
Like to see where I'm going :o
Like you, I fine driving during the day but am really tense driving at night.
If OH and I go out in the evening he always drives.
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Glad you're ok CG.
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Glad you are feeling okay now CG :-* like you i hate night driving, even if i know the road i am travelling, i just like to be able to see everything in my view..xx
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Glad you're OK CG.
I hate driving at night - had to do it a month or so ago when OH had been kept in hospital.
Hated it, was using glasses which I was not used to, oh, and not used to the car either.
The main thing is you are OK.
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Hopefully you've stopped shaking by now! We had a near-miss on our way to Brighton last month >:( were in a dual carriageway outside lane indicating left - a white van on the inside lane also indicating left decided to turn to his right - almost into the passenger side (mine) of our car! :o ……… fortunately he stopped and Hubby put his foot down …… we saw exactly the same thing happen 2 days later when someone else on a roundabout decided that he was in the wrong lane >:(
However: a driver from behind is often 'at fault' for not stopping! In this instance perhaps have a drive there with DH in the daylight, take a note of the road markings/junction: contact the Highways dept of your local Council and put the question - how many accidents at this point and what will be done to improve road markings!
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Done it in daytime, no problems. Just first time in the dark & it was really dark. Taxi drivers go about like they own the roads here, though probably do elsewhere too. Think I may give up night driving altogether. When I go out with friends & it's my turn to do lifts, hubby does the honours.
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Driving in the dark can become more difficult. Have you talk to your optician at all? Is it age related?
You may be able to google map/walk that part of road to see how it's laid out ?
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I have been having lots of silly near misses- since I have had Rheumatoid Arthritis my minds all over the place- I am so fatigued as well so concentration isnt good. I try not to drive at dark but its tricky not to!
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When I've had near misses and gone home upset and shocked my husband asks me what I have learnt. (He was a traffic sergeant in the police for a few years). For eg., a lorry pulled out in front of me with no warning on the motorway. No where to go, just good brakes. He said if lorries are close together, be prepared for the one behind to pull out. This has helped my overall awareness of what is going on around me, planning ahead and not just reacting. You have to be prepared for other people's stupidity and when it's your own mistake, think about what you did, how you can avoid the same mistake in the future, then move on.
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Ju Ju my hubby was in police too. Their training served them well. Lorries on motorways are terrible for that, especially the ones that seem to deliberately drive side by side & nobody can overtake.
Scary when it happens, but you're right, learn from experience & move on. Told hubby on phone last night & he says I'm just not aggressive enough when I drive. Fair point.
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I don't like driving my husband! The trouble is he does know better! I get very sensitive. But going home and off loading helps. I think the word assertive is a better description rather than aggressive.of how to be. Apparently it's your road positioning.... I'm coming through, make way. All very well in a larger car, but try that in a Smart car! Yesterday, I was followed by an aggressive driver, right up to my bumper. It spoiled what should have been a pleasant drive, as I had to anticipate hazards early, so I could give him plenty of warning. I tend to slow down under the circumstances and not speed up. Safety and I won't be bullied. The driver sped off very fast round me at the traffic lights through the red light. Mmm....at best a speeding ticket, at worst an accident waiting to happen. The majority of drivers like this seem to be young males. I was quietly delighted when my son failed his first driving test. He was a good driver, but cocky at the time. He went on to take advanced driving lessons.
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I know it's daft because dual carriageways and motorways are supposed to be much safer but I detest them, both as a driver and a passenger. I much prefer country roads.
Young men are in general arrogant drivers. My son rolled his car in a field two weeks after he got it. He walked away bruised but unhurt. His passenger was not so lucky. A fence post came through the window missing his head by inches but badly fracturing his collarbone. He was so lucky and I felt so guilty that my son's driving had caused this. His mother to this day is very cool with me and I don't really blame her.
We refused to help my son replace the car and it was a good few years before he could afford another one. Even now I think he drives too fast but he is taking advanced driving lessons.
I too slow down if I have someone who is trying to bully me into going faster. It's usually a man in a big car.
I console myself with the thought that men like this usually lack in some other way.....a small willy perhaps ;D
Honeyb
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What annoyed me most yesterday was the fact he knew I wanted in the left lane but positioned himself in such a way making it well nigh impossible, bumper level in left lane.
My son failed first time too. He is a very careful driver though. I feel very safe when in a car with him. Now my daughter, well.... ::)
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I feel safe with both my children. They both had lessons with an ex-colleague of my husband. My son eventually passed his HGV driving test so he could drive fire engines when he was a retained fire fighter. He now drives ambulances. But he did go through that stage where they think they are immortal and had an argument with a traffic sign on the way to a fire call. We didn't help towards a new car either.
I'm sorry the mum of the girl is still cool with you, HB, but I don't agree that that is understandable, unless you colluded with your son's choice of behaviour. Which you clearly haven't. You are not responsible for your son's behaviour. You do the best as a parent and that has to be good enough. Your children grow away from you as they get older, which is healthy. They make their own choices. All you can do is love them unconditionally, but that doesn't mean you collude or tolerate bad choices. Sorry, getting off my soap box now.....and yes, small willy syndrome can be blamed for many ills in the world! ;D
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;D
Defiantly juju, HB I have friends who once were inseparable but few years ago their sons were in a bad accident, one of them let the other drive his car along main road crashed it head on 70mph, now the one driving walked away the other the owner was flung out car, seat belt chair the lot years of rehab, now the 2 mothers don't talk drivers mother feels it's her fault cause owners mother has turned angry and bitter saying it would never have happened if her son had just drove horrible situation, we tried to explain it may have happened whoever was driving it was definatly no fault of the parent we can only be thankful they are still here. but one still blames the other I understand it's her boy who suffered but please don't blame his mother, 2 boys speak but one mother would prefer if they didn't
X
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Years ago when single my son wanted a sports car so he got an MG soft top. Long story short he went off road, through a fence into a field rolled over twice and ended up back on the road unhurt apart from a headache! The car was a write off. He has never speeded or driven recklessly since and now he has a daughter he is one of the most careful drivers I have known.
My daughter is still the only driver I ever feel relaxed enough with to take my eyes off the road and enjoy the drive. My husband has never had an accident but that does not mean he is a good driver, he is rather erratic and I don't relax with him very well.
I choose not to drive unless it is unavoidable as I don't trust my reactions lately, too slow and tend to lose concentration so I choose not to drive.
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I really don't blame the other boys mother. I think she thought my son was showing off which he probably was. The police said the skid marks on the road did not indicate excessive speed but my son was not experienced enough to cope with a skid.
I did not visit the other boy until he came out of hospital although my son did. The day it happened was the day of my BILs brothers funeral. My mother was just out of hospital having broken her hip and I had only been in this house for a month and still had builders in. It was the most awful time. Excuses I know but valid ones.
We were never terribly close and perhaps I imagine the coolness but I don't think so.
Honeyb
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Oh HB I just read through my post "don't blame other boy's mother " I hope you didn't think I was meaning you? What I meant was I said to this women "don't blame other boy's mother " should have wrote it better, sorry if I worded it wrong but never meant it me saying to you if you understand, rambling feel bad must preview.
Still everyone here safe and must have been terrible time.
Sorry again x
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No not at all, I knew what you meant ;D
Honeyb
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