Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: bramble on October 22, 2014, 04:52:52 PM
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I was sitting in the waiting room at the dentist's yesterday and this girl came in with a child in a buggy accompanied by fairly loud music. She sat down and opened a magazine - no interaction at all with the child all the time they were there (upwards of 10 minutes). As she rose to go out I saw that the child (quite a big child) had in it's hands an electronic device about the size of a smart phone. This is wrong on so many levels, not least of all the fact that the child was ignored by it's mother.
Am I just behind the times in thinking this or is the norm now that children seem to be fobbed off with electronic devices to save the mother the bother? Never mind the fact that I thought it was bad manners to play it in a confined public space.
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Oh I so agree bramble. It's usually on the buses I see this sort of thing. Mum focusing on her mobile phone, texting or whatever. Child sitting in buggy with packet of crisps, or juice to keep them quiet.
As for playing loud music, that really gets my back up. Often hear the doosh, doosh of music blasting. Heck knows what it's doing to their hearing.
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If you are behind the times then so am I. Hate that kind of thing. Children going into school that are behind in every thing due to parents that can't be bothered.
The latest, teachers having to teach kids how to clean their teeth :o
What happened to Mum and Dad.
Actually it's very sad.
Honeyb
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Teeth cleaning has been happening in nurseries up here for about 10 years. Local authority provide brushes, toothpaste & boxes for storage. I agree it's parent's job, but in many places parents don't care enough. You could always tell the ones whose parents made sure they did it right as they took longer to clean their teeth. If children were FT it was done after lunch, if PT after am/pm snack.
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Being thick CG.
What's FT and PT
Sorry, brain probably on strike. ::)
Honeyb
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Full time and part time ;) (http://;))
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I just felt so sorry for the child that it did not get his Mum's attention........... On the other hand maybe it had been fractious all morning and that was the only thing that kept him quiet..........
But I still think it was bad manners to have it on in the waiting room.
Bramble (grumpy old woman in waiting!)
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Said I was being thick ::)
Honeyb
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When my eldest GD was little - terrible twos age, she would kick off terribly on a bus. Horrendous tantrums. I bought her a Spot book and after that whenever she was on a bus, she looked at the pictures & I'd read the story. Worked a treat. Less stressful for her & me. It can be hard if a child is fractious. However, electronic games should be replaced with books & music should be switched off or at least turned down on buses & most certainly in places like waiting rooms. Downright bad manners. On a bus I have my phone on vibrate as I hate hearing folks phones going off. Maybe I'm another grumpy old woman in waiting bramble. :)
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How many of you notice that children are pushed forwards into traffic/pedestrians/dogs etc.? Therefore ignored by the person pushing them? It has been proven that children pushed forwards are more aggressive because they have to be more demanding before a parent notices that they need something. (Sorry can't find the Study). When forward pushing buggies appeared on the market my immediate reaction, having watched the poor little sods trying to get attention was, 'children are more aggressive now'. That was in the mid-1970s. Studies subsequently have validated my fears.
Also: there are more allergies in children, probably due to the child being pushed forwards and not being protected by the hood of the buggy! A child needs interaction with the person they know and do not need to engage with the 'world' until they are in school!!!!!
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Studies have shown that the increase in allergies is most probably due to the increase in hygiene! Our immune systems have evolved over many thousands of years to protect us, and our modern obsession with all things anti-bacterial means it has nothing to do! So it turns on things it shouldn't be reacting to - hence allergies. Dettol have as lot to answer for!!
Children DO need to interact with the world around them before they go to school, or they get to school shy, insular and unable to deal with others in the class. Having a forward-facing buggy for an older child (beyond real 'baby' stage, when they are interested in the world around them) allows them to see what is going on, to see their big, wide, fascinating world without craning their necks around the buggy (or pram) sides. Children needing to be aggresive to attract attention is down to bag parenting, purly and simply, not push-chair design. It seems an awful lot of modern 'parents' (and I use the word purely in its biological sense) can't be bothered with their offspring - having them in a buggy facing them would make absolutely no difference to that attitude.
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Before they go to School but not as babies or tines )sp( ::) ……… interaction with the parent pushing is safety too. Eye contact, waving, sharing with the parent is important, more than having to face the 'outside' World!
Anyone walking 2-wards me using a phone and not looking where they are going gets me in their face ;D - I wait until they are close enough before I go "BOO!" …….. makes me feel better anyway ;)
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That's just scary CLKD ;D
I took my two to all sorts of things, mother and baby groups, baby swimming. it was great fun and I got to meet lots of other mum's and make friends. I was new to the area and a bit isolated. My kids caught all the bugs ::) and met other babies, some who are still friends to this day. Children are like puppies, they have to be socialised from a very young age. In that way they learn how to get on in the big wide world.
Just because an older child is looking outwards does not mean the parent can't interact. I pointed out things to look at. I told stories and we sang daft songs.
It's all down to the parent.
Honeyb
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Yep. But parents don't 'parent' these days :-\ …….. more interested in their mobile thingies that seem glued to their ears >:( ………..
I can be scary all year round, not only at Halloween :D
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My two faced forward in buggies, though faced me in pram. I was forever yacking away about things to them, pointing out trees, birds whatever. Lack of communication is down to bad parenting, not having buggies facing wrong way.
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It is sad but we can't change it. Many young parents might not have been properly parented so don't know the importance of interaction.
My father was born to a single mother who did not know how to parent and he ended up in hospital with failure to thrive and spent a miserable childhood with a mother who looked after his physical needs but ignored him and did not talk to him. As a result he was not able to parent myself effectively when I was born to him and my mother and I was an only, isolated child with poor communication and an attention seeking personality. Thank goodness the cycle was broken when my husband and I had ours as he was well parented and filled in the gaps I left and ours are fairly well adjusted and our grandchildren are glorious :)
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Interaction is important. Surely this is where Health Visitors come in, advising, supporting etc.?
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Health visitors have heavy workloads, in fact my daughter barely sees hers. They can advise, but many do not take on board their advice. Mine was rubbish.