Menopause Matters Forum

General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Joyce on October 20, 2014, 11:55:44 AM

Title: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Joyce on October 20, 2014, 11:55:44 AM
My darling 29 year old son visited at weekend with his GF to see his Uncle & Aunt. I was going to show a DVD of grandchildren which other grandfather compiled. I don't use DVD player much, but know that since we got new TV I've got to swap two cables at back of TV. The engineers didn't set it up correctly and I can't be bothered hauling the unit out & fixing it properly. Anyways son, who has been told before about this problem, started having a go at me AGAIN. So in front of my brother & SIL I snapped totally!!!! I'm not proud by any means, but son just kept going on & on & ...... until I said "Typical always think you're right & everyone else is wrong." He snapped back "Pot, kettle, black!" At which point hubby told him to leave the room as I flashed a "I'm going to kill him" look at son. Son's GF followed him & had a go at him too.  He has this holier than though attitude sometimes which drives me insane & he occasionally catches me on a bad day & I explode! Saturday was that day. Hubby said I should just ignore him, but hubby can get pretty annoyed at him too sometimes, though maybe not to his face. Now I'm feeling bad, but I refuse to back down as he knows we've been over this time & time again.  I should have left the room before I exploded, but as I'm only one who knows how to fiddle things about to put on DVD player, I stuck with it. My brother & SIL sat there with big grins on their faces watching me self combust.

Son now away on holiday, I texted him to wish them all a brilliant holiday & he replied, so it's one of our usual storm in a teacup situations, which just blows over in a few minutes.

His condition causes him to have terrible moods sometimes. So between his mood swings & my menopausal mood swings it's a wonder we haven't actually killed each other.
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Ju Ju on October 20, 2014, 12:28:20 PM
T :bighug:

That's what you need! Children do know how to press our buttons. And we are human and do not always react as we would like. Don't beat yourself up! Or your son!  :o If this happens a lot, then maybe a loving conversation about mutual respect, when calm, about how you feel when he does or says...... Particularly when in public. But do remember most of us have been there and wear the shirt!
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: honeybun on October 20, 2014, 12:32:20 PM
Hurtful though CG.

It's because we care that they have the ability to really get to us. Sometimes the same kind of thing happens here.
My reaction is the opposite of yours though. I go very very quiet and then there is a very awkward silence.
My kids don't like the quiet treatment. I think it's because I'm really scared of what will come out of my mouth that makes me silent.

You have made up now so you all move on. As you say....storm in a teacup


Honeyb
x
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 21, 2014, 06:38:57 PM
YOUR house! end of.
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: honeybun on October 21, 2014, 06:42:10 PM
Really not that easy with kids CLKD....No matter how old they are


Honeyb
x
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 21, 2014, 06:48:47 PM
 ;D ………… perhaps ask in a calmer moment if DS will pay for the wires to be sorted behind the TV ……
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Joyce on October 21, 2014, 07:01:47 PM
No, I'll get him to fix them! Doubt he'll ever bring the subject up again though after my rather public outburst.  ::)
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 22, 2014, 12:38:53 PM
Good for you!  Put foot down with firm hand!
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 22, 2014, 12:42:54 PM
 :cuss:    :argue:    :rant:
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: honeybun on October 22, 2014, 12:46:06 PM
Have you been to see your mum CLKD ?

That normally upsets you. I have been ignoring mine a lot and managing it well. I think it's because I know I have only one more visit before a break.


Honeyb
x
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 22, 2014, 02:08:55 PM
We are STILL here ………. repetitive angry moans and groans ………
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Limpy on October 22, 2014, 03:24:18 PM
CLKD How're you managing to post?
Didn't think your mum had broadband.

Amended to correct errant apostrophe
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: babyjane on October 22, 2014, 04:02:55 PM
My son knew how to push my buttons for years.  Husband could see what he was doing but I didn't and could always be relied on to react. It wasn't a happy time.

Becoming a father and getting his own house started to turn him round as he was no longer the centre of his universe.  Now we are good friends but 2 days is long enough in each other's company.  Longer than that and we start getting on each other's nerves.  Trouble is I try to mother him (mother = job for life) and he is a very independent person.  :)
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: CLKD on October 22, 2014, 04:14:49 PM
We lock into local broadband …… it's quite quick this afternoon  :o

Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Limpy on October 22, 2014, 04:55:42 PM
Wow - It's civilised there CLKD....... 
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: Joyce on October 22, 2014, 05:08:27 PM
BJ, we coped with a two week holiday 3 years ago, only one fall out & that was hubby's fault. I got the flak though.
Title: Re: Pushing the angry buttons
Post by: babyjane on October 23, 2014, 04:18:50 PM
hubby went abroad twice with our children before they settled down and had families as he likes going abroad to the heat and I don't. I wouldn't have coped with it all.  I stayed home with the dog and had a lovely week both times but I did miss him.