Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: karenja on October 02, 2014, 09:44:32 AM
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:'( Im off work this week and I have done a few things gone on an hours train ride to get my teeth whitened (they couldn't do it but still I went) went to take my mum to lunch yesterday though had to drag myself, anxiety affects everything I do now, I know Im not alone Ive had lots of replies from you lovely ladies who are in exactly the same boat, today for me is just a a bad day, woke up feeling anxious, im so jumpy even things like my phone making noise when a text came thorough when I thought it was on silent made me jump and my heart race, my cat when missing for a while unlike her so Im searching the streets feeling the anxiety in my chest (home safe and sound now probably just enjoying the sun) its ridiculous but its taking over my life, off work this week and a few times Ive thought maybe I will have some wine to chill out (ive stopped drinking doesn't alcohol make anxiety worst), then I think no Id better not just incase, ive mentioned this before and I know maybe Im over reacting, im putting on weight as ive practically stopped excercising, this week would have been the ideal opportunity but im scared of palpatations/panic attacks etc, and on top of that I get the little things that worry me even if they are just passing things, chest pain, pain down my arms, cramp in my calf or foot, tingling in my face, I know lots of people will relate to these things, but today everything is getting to me! and you think Im going to dye, irrational but true, im waiting to hear about councelling, have tried stresspack only attended two sessions, didn't find it that good to be honest but I may carry on with it as they are running the six sessions again, im on everol sequi, two more days left of second month, at least ive stuck at that, and it has helped in some respects, rant over ladies sorry if Im repeating all ive said before, I live alone and my friends don't really understand though they have been supportive but they are not going through it like some of you are, thanks for listening xx
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:hug:
I was feeling a bit weird/anxious yesterday. I've got a stress app on my tablet, so did exercises from that which helped. Mainly concentrating on breathing to calm me down. However, I appreciate like many others on here, you're suffering with this over a much longer period of time. Would you be able to cope going for a nice relaxing aromatherapy massage? Something like this may help.
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Adding to cubagirl's suggestion, Indian Head Massage is wonderful to calm and reduce stress karenja, your local college might offer it at a reduced price.
Have you a Well Woman Centre in your part of the world http://www.wellwomencentre.co.uk/
They are great places to go even just to have a cup of coffee and meet other women no pressure what so ever they are kind caring women There are free trained Counsellors available who can help you with health problems, menopause problems and just about everything that worries you, no woman is turned away. Free courses are offered too.
Just sharing your stress and anxiety really helps and knowing that countless women go through the same thing too, there is help out there Karenja.
I worked at a Well Woman Centre for many years as a counsellor and saw so many women benefit, and even go on to become counsellors themselves.
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Hi Karenja
Sorry your having a bad time. Yes a lot of people her seem to go through the same, i hate when i get days like that, the slightest passing thing and you think your time is up! Then you get a good day and think how stupid was i for thinking like that yesterday! I had a bad day few days ago and decide i was having a drink that night, haven't touched alcohol for a couple of years. I did have a drink although it was only ginger grouse felt relaxed a bit but then started feeling it coursing through my veins and that set me off! I must have hid it well as my husband said you have been doing great lately no blips or anything,i just looked at him and are you kidding. It will pass and just keep telling yourself nothing is going to happen its just an off day. As for you searching for your cat i do the same, neighbours know what im like with him, Last year when we had a thunder storm he was out so i sent husband to get him couldnt bare the thought of him out there in rain although he was sitting in neighbours porch with her cats quiet content ;D
Hope you feel better soon
Millykin X
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Hi everybody, thanks for your replies, I live in Swansea so I didn't think there was a wellwoman cinic, but Ive just rang a clinic where if there was one it would be and been told they don't do it any longer :( and Indian head massages sounds a nice idea :) Im going for a spa day soon as I bought it for my friends birthday, bit of a pressie to me too :) so that will be nice a massage is included so cant wait for that, Millykin Im glad its not just me who stresses over their cat, she is my world :), sometimes I think how luck you all are having partners as this must help and other times I think who would put up with me!, I know what you mean about the alcohol I start stressing on the rare occasions Ive touched a drop, its a rollercoaster I want to get off xx
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DON'T TOUCH THE ALCOHOL! it's a depressant and ……..
Deep breathing. Sitting and let yourself simply 'be'. My mind races so much that I can't explain what I'm thinking about; also that feeling of hot water coursing through my veins scared the pants off me the 1st time; now I do recognise those weird sensations.
It's worrying if the anxiety will get worse that keeps the anxiety going. You managed to take your Mum out well done, I know you were worried. Do you tell her, I never did 'confess' ……… easier not to and I never want people to keep watching me ……
I spent hours searching for our cat ………. he was never far away but we are surrounded by busy roads. That's another reason why I'm not having any more …….
Are you able to walk round Swansea? How were you on the train, it's something I have real difficulties with - even if I know it's only a 10 min ride between Lewes and Brighton :'(
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I don't think there is anything wrong with a glass of wine in the evenings. No one is talking about having one with breakfast and my evening glass relaxes me. I don't have it every night but enjoy it when I do. I'm not on any meds except HRT so it's fine.
Keeping busy helps me. Even if it hoovering or dusting.A walk in the fresh air sometimes just for a few minutes. You need to find some way of distracting your brain from worrying thoughts.
I tell myself over and over that these feelings will not harm me. They never have done before and its been going on for over two years now. If you tell yourself something often enough then you will eventually believe it.
Don't do what I did in the beginning though.....avoiding the things that bothered me. Keep doing them telling yourself you can stop or leave at any time but keep doing them.
Some days it's just one foot in front of the other and it can only get better.
Honeyb
x
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I agree with you Honeybun that a glass of wine some evenings can be very relaxing. Also I find keeping busy helps me to cope when I feel anxious for no good reason. I often do the ironing as its a chore I quite like(odd I know) but it gives me something to concentrate on and a sense of accomplishment when its done.I do like to keep things tidy so I can usually find a drawer or cupboard to sort out which also keeps anxiety at bay. Its so easy to fall into the trap of thinking every little ache and pain is something sinister and I have to work hard at telling myself things are OK. I also knit and crochet baby clothes for the local charity shop I work in and that really helps to keep my mind from straying where it shouldn't.
For all those who've had an anxious day-hope tomorrow is better-onwards and upwards!!
Thorntrees
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oh yes wine :) Im self employed and co-own a very busy garage/shop etc so I NEVER relax or get time off. One minute Im smiling the next I could cry......but the wine does help me relax, especially in front of the open fire with the 3 dogs at my feet :)
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Sending you all my best wishes Karenja and all others suffering anxiety. I've been there (still make frequent visits...)
I was scared to exercise as well because of the palpitations I had but actually for anxiety-provoked palpitations exercise can help so much. Even walking - especially walking in many ways. Easier said than done I know but I always feel better for a longish walk even though I rarely want to get started.
I find a (single) glass of wine in the evening helps me relax but I know it can do the opposite for others. What I've found I need to be very careful about is caffeine, including chocolate. This is of course a great shame - but worth it. For when anxiety is less acute, I like journalling too - getting it all out in non stop scribbling for twenty minutes or so a day. Worth a try?
Starfish X
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thanks everybody it really does help reading your replies when I have a bad day, I really should have tried to do some sort of exercise this week thought its not over yet, there definitely are places to walk round Swansea CLKD its just doing it, the train journey Swansea to Cardiff was about 50 mins it went quick, I did feel when I was up in Cardiff I wanted to get back so I didn't stay long, but I did it, no didn't tell my mum that I nearly didn't make it yesterday and glad I went it did relax me she is 95 and a tonic! is anbody else Welsh on here or am I the only one??, x
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I love the little hug pic cubagirl how do you do that?x
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Hello Karenja.
I know how you feel and although the anxiety is irrational it's still real. I've started to take deep yoga breaths whenever I feel anxious and although I'm surprised how often I need to do them they do help to counter act the adrenaline surge. I reckon I'll have lungs the size of Wales when this is all over!
Best wishes and you are certainly not alone.
K.
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Hi Kathleen
Im laughing at lungs the size of wales :) it is irrational, Ive done a lot of deep breathing today, with me I can feel it in my chest its a tight horrible feeling, im off work, its not as if I wake up in the morning with anxiety and think Ive got to go to work calm down, so don't know the reason for it at all, Ive watched all three episodes of Cilla this afternoon as Id missed it previously and even just sat watching that I had to do deep breathing and now my chest is tight no reason to feel anxious at all its strange, grateful Im not alone x
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It is horrible when you feel ok one minute then a surge just comes over you for no reason. I watched Cilla it was really good. Sherradin Smith is a really good actress.
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hi karenja what a small world it is im from swansea aswell so your not the only welsh 1 on here i also have a cat and since this horrible perimenopauce if she hasnt come in i seem to panic more than i used to everything that happens feels worse im 52 and never thought i would end up like this so many people the same we cant all be wrong vanessa spain x
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That's the thing.....anxiety is irrational. There is no rhyme nor reason to it.
I am happily married with a nice home, two goodish kids, well one good and one who is getting better. I'm not exactly rich but not struggling. I have no huge health issues.....so what on earth do I have to be anxious about......Not a lot.
I do have a difficult elderly mother who stresses me out, but that's about it.
Anxiety can be triggered by almost anything.
It's how we deal with it that's important.
Honeyb
x
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I had my Wisdom teeth out in Swansea Hospital in 197wheneverit was - does that count ;D
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Ehmmm Probably not ;D
Honeyb
x
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I didn't laugh at the time - if I had known it was going to be that painful I would never have had them removed :-\ :-X ……… I didn't have this type of anxiety in those days ………. :(
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Hi Vanessa
Small world indeed and somebody else who worries when the cat doesn't come back :) I wasn't as bad before now Im up and down the street calling her and she usually appears crying all the way home in disgust as Im making here come back :) CLK, do you mean 1970? Swansea Hospital has long gone unless it was Singleton, how come you ended up there, where do you live now? Yes Ive had four wisdom removed at the same time it was horrendous! x
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so do you live in Spain now Vanessa? x
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Ooh wisdom teeth! I had been crunching my teeth so hard at night a few months back through anxiety I loosened a wisdom tooth at bottom, dentist just popped it out though, feel like I'm starting other side sometimes,
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My jaw has started clicking, Ive been to the dentist and apparently can be brought on by stress and maybe clenching my teeth in my sleep, they told me nothing to worry about in many many years time there may come a time when I cant open my mouth as wide, nothing to worry about, Im worried :( x
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this anxiety is nothing to do with our life or situation. I am like you honeybun and have a comfortable life with no major worries. But this is hormonal and mind over matter will not affect it. I have a nurse friend who explained cortisol levels rise in the morning, that is the stress hormone and when oestrogen drops the cortisol is not higher but out of balance which brings on the 'fight or flight' anxiety and why it can ease over the day.
It makes me truly sad thet some doctors won't accept or appreciate the full extent of hormonal upheaval that happens at menopause :(
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hi karenja hope you enjoyed your lunch and felt ok yes ive been living in spain 2 yrs now and for the first year and a half i was ok the spanish doctors ive seen just say menopauce is normal i go to a english doctor now but i feel vunrable here because you cant just go to the doctor when you feel like in spain its very much eating out and going for a drink which i cant do at the moment i manage a coffee in the morning but often cant wait to leave and until this ive alway enjoyed going out meeting people its so agaist my nature vanessa spain x
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Hi Vanessa that's a shame, lunch was nice thanks made myself go that's twice this week now, had anxiety this morning but its gone for now :) sigh of relief x
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Hi everyone anxiety is dreadful I have a lovely family nice home good hubby too , so why am I anxious sometimes I feel really achy too like flu it comes on all of a sudden does anyone else suffer with this ? doing CBT at the moment early days yet to see if it's working . Have had two horrible water infections last month too which has been confirmed by the lab . 😔 xx
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Hi Pauline, no I don't get flu like symptoms, hope the cbt helps, got nausea tonight shoot me! starting new pack of patches tomorrow, third month Im sticking at it the doctor cannot say I didn't try, they have helped in some ways x
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Almost subconsciously, I started breathing slowly in time to some gentle music one day recently, and it had an incredibly calming effect. So I do it deliberately now, if something suitable comes on.
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Hi Pauline
Ye I get the flu like symptoms strange I think cause never comes to anything anxiety must drain our bodies and make us feel run down
Millykin x
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Hello - Ive posted so many times about palpatations, they are back and they still scare me horrible things :(x back on estrogen only patches today hoping things will get better although I was still up and down last month, enough of menupause already, hope everybody is ok today
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Hi Kanenja
Sorry to hear you not too good today, re your palpitations I can relate to this very scary, I have read up on some of your posts and saw you had elleste duet before that's what I was on last year and same as you when I started green tablets palpitations started felt rotten had few trips to A&E, I stopped HRT for few months but still had palpitations, I think when you get them once and know the feeling you tend to focus on it and can make things worse easier said than done but try to ignore them tell yourself they are not going to harm you. I think I tead you can't tak beta blocker? They would have helped. I took them for 8 months and felt better knowing my heart couldn't race like that! Stpped them to see what happened if I could cope, not too bad so far take one now and again. Are you peri meno? What age group? I'm 44 and peri memo now on Femoston past 6 months, last couple have been bit dodgy. I used to sit and dwell when they happened now I get up and do something, drink water, splash face or potter
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Hi Millykin
Thanks for your reply, Im 53 had my last natural period in December last year, but when I came off the Elleste Duet without taking the full course I had a bleed then, but have had no bleed since being on the Everol Conti, shame I cant take beta blocker as a few people have said these can help even my doctor until I pointed out to her I have asthma and she said oh you cant have them then, which is pretty bad really she had not checked, I went back to bed and have just woken up my hearts going like crazy so Im deep breathing and hoping it will pass soon x
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It is the flight or fight response but we often wonder what are we fighting or responding too? .... Nothing that's the bad thing. Hope you find something that relaxes you. Can your GP not recommend something else? After all if you had an actual problem with your heart there should be something you could take with asthma. I hate it when my husband checks his pulse he is super fit these days and his resting hearttate is 40s workout rate never goes above 100! Mine goes to 130 resting sometimes! Go figure, he was overweight with family history of heart problems then after my first scare he lost weight stopped smoking and got fit. I'm slim and active (still smoke must stop) maybe he's having male menopause ;D