Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: honeybun on September 27, 2014, 01:15:20 PM
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My daughter had a nasty incident at work this morning. She works at a convenience store in our next local town.
She had a bit of a run in with a man who was very abusive. F words and C words used is bad enough but she said as he was standing at the till he was fiddling with his T shirt and it became obvious he was showing her he had a knife in a sheath strapped to his belt. She has served him before and he is always loud and abusive but this is a step way too far. He has drink and drug problems it would seem which makes him unpredictable.
She told her supervisor who called the manager at home. Her reaction was not to call the police as she did not want the shop involved.
I want something done about it but have had to promise not to interfere as my daughter does not want to end up in court which i can understand as this man lives very close to where she works.
She has promised to speak to the manager and tell her that she will never serve this man again, ever, and that he should be barred.
Horrible thing to happen and she is very shaken up by the whole incident.
Honeyb
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Anonoymous call to crime stoppers. This man must be stopped. Sorry for short reply but at airport.
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Oh dear, sorry to hear about this. I do hope your daughter's manager will be supportive of her. These convenience stores aren't noted for their high wages and the assistants aren't paid enough to deal with this sort of thing. I used to work in a sub post office and at least we had a glass screen. Our local convenience store is open until 11 and there is always just one young assistant on the till quite late in the evening and I always think they are very vulnerable.
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She is 19 and at uni BJ. Contacted for five hours a week but picks up a bit of overtime here and there. She does one late shift every three weeks which finishes at 10 pm. There are always three staff on but apart from one boy they are all female.
The manager is someone I know quite well and that's how my daughter got an interview in the first place. I'm surprised and let down by her attitude but there is not much I can really do :-\
Honeyb
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I do hope she will be all right honeybun
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She is young and they are resilient. Her boyfriend has said he will meet her from work after each late shift just to see her into her car until she feels better about things.
Funny old world really. I knew she would have to deal with drunks but this was at 10am :o
Honeyb
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It's good that her boyfriend is attentive and caring, that must reassure you
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I think that the manager should be sacked to be honest. To have such a scant regard for the safety of her staff let alone other customers of the store is really shocking.
Taz x
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Hi honeybun
I have done a great deal of retail work and for 3 years managed a gift shop part time - I was usually on my own in the shop. There were some challenging situations and a couple of times I witnessed shop lifting - usually drug addicts so they weren't good at hiding what they were doing. The couple who owned the shop always acted as if it was my fault and said I should have confronted the shoplifters. I had always called the police when this happened and they would firmly tell me not to confront them or indeed challenge any difficult customers.
There was a clothes boutique across the road run by a single girl and one time she rang me in distress as she had a man in the shop picking things up and throwing them around. I called the police, locked up my shop and went over the road to her and just stood next to her and repeatedly asked him to leave in a calm way - it was terrifying for her but he left before the police came. I don't think he was actually dangerous but was mentally disturbed.
I do hope the manager finds a way to deal with incident. I really think the police should be informed as he could be a danger to others and other retailers in the area need to be aware. The manager has a duty of care for her staff and her other customers.
I hope your daughter isn't to distressed by the event - so nasty. DG x
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Honeyb - Could you ring the manager, informally, and say that whilst you understand her not wanting to get the police involved, what is she going to do to protect the all the shop staff, not just your daughter, from this horrible man?
Perhaps suggest if she doesn't get her a--- into gear you or your daughter will have to contact the local police or local papers. You could send a copy of your post that starts this thread, that seems to describe the situation.
We've got a 111 number here to contact police in a non 999 emergency fashion. Is there anything like that by you?
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I really think the manager is completely put of order here. So a man with known drug and alcohol issues is verbally abusive to someone plus seems to be carrying a knife is allowed to act like this??? Most definately a police matter - the manager surely has a duty of care to his staff and member of the public in the shop. Disgraceful attitude.
But what you do is another thing when your daughter has asked you not to get involved. Ask her to re consider - the police need to be made aware of the incident at least, so they can keep a eye on him.
Poor girl must have been shaken up xx
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The manager is out of order here. I'll bet this man is known to the police already. I hope your daughter is all right.
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I agree with everyone. That's why I'm angry. The manager should do something about this to protect her staff.
I can only think she is scared because she has barred other rowdy or abusive customers before.
It's a shop in a housing estate. The town is a seaside one but like everywhere we have our areas that are not so good and this is where the shop is.
Before the job was offered to my daughter the manager phoned me and asked if she would be able to cope with late night drunks. I said she wouldn't have a problem as she is able to look out for herself. I never dreamed that she would be faced with this.
I don't want to make things difficult for my daughter as she relies on this little job for extra money to run her car and jobs in our area are hard to come by.
She is working again tomorrow so I will wait and see what happens. None of the staff were happy but my daughter was the one "shown" the knife.
Honeyb
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Oh heck HB, how distressing.
Manager, needs sacking! Is there CCTV in the shop at all? Manager clearly doesn't like confrontation, but if something was to happen to any of her staff........
Supervisor should have phoned police first, then manager. Police should be made aware at least.
I know that horrid feeling. Our daughter used to work late shifts in video shop. At end of night money had to be counted then put in a safe under the floor. Daughter was nearly always on her owm , finishing at 10pm. We collected her every time she worked. She never encountered anything like that though, thankfully.
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Sorry this has happened. The Manager has a legal 'duty of care' towards her Staff. Maybe ring her and ask whether she knows this man? is she emotionally involved for some reason i.e. been in school together, he lives close by etc.. I would also ring the Police as he may be 'known': perhaps he has a Social Worker who could step in. I think this situation is bigger than your daughter if that makes sense …… the Manager should call a staff meeting maybe in a cafe close by and discuss how everyone feels about what happened and what protocol should be in future.
Tell your daughter that perhaps she could say if shown the weapon 'sorry you need to carry a knife, no where seems safe these days' ……… certainly though the Police should be told. Also the MD of the Company if it is Franchised or a 'national' concerned as there will be guidelines for Staff !
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I can understand your concern and anger.
Personally I would walk away from a job where the management is negligently unsupportive. That may sound defeatist but no job is worth putting up with that type of treatment.
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Well I have had a good chat with my daughter.
Plan of action is now in place.
She is going in to see the shop manager on Monday after uni and will tell her she is not prepared to have this man in the shop again. She will also tell her that her patents were very concerned and want to know what action she is going to take. If she is fobbed off then I will intervene. I will ask the manager what she intends to do and will suggest that a word with her area manager might be in order. It's a huge franchise. Don't think they would like the publicity.
I am prepared to take this further and yes risk her job......Don't care to be honest.
What's next....knife out the sheath. Five hours minimum wage....Not worth it.
I told her brother tonight and he could not believe the reaction. He worked for a large supermarket chain and there were safety protocols in place.
Honeyb
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Well done. Let us know ……..
I would be contacting the Police regardless.
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As a naïve teenager, I worked in local shop at weekends. Did so for about 3/4 years. That was until shop owner had a go at me one day. Can't remember what it was now, but he gave me hard hit on my arm. I said & did nothing, but told my brother later. He was going to sort guy out but I left week later instead.
Good to see you have a plan of action, sometimes we have to step in.
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I chatted with OH earlier and described the situation.
He felt your daughter should just leave the job, getting anything done wouldn't lead to a good work experience. Is the job worth it?
Me - I feel the shop manager needs a kick, somewhere. I can't believe her saying the police should not be contacted. I know your daughter is going to speak to the manager, I think she or you should contact the franchise chain directly, don't think they would be impressed.
Not sure a job there is a good idea for your daughter. What do the other workers feel about the situation?
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I know she is grown up....Just not that grown up.
I suspect if she tells the manager that parents are asking questions she will realise she can't let things just die down.
Not prepared to let this one go by with no answers. Just not good enough.
Just seen your post Limpy. Other women are not happy either but their situation is different. It's the way they make a living whereas my daughter is a student who will move on. I don't think they will make waves....Just in case.
She has worked in this shop for nearly two years now. Although she is just a wee thing she has worked out how to deal with awkward drunks. She just gets very posh and haughty and they don't know how to deal with someone who won't drop to their level.
She does really well coping with that kind of thing. However someone with a knife is a different story.
I really hope it gets resolved as its been a job that suits her.
Honeyb
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Manager definitely in the wrong here. Dealing with drunks, rowdy youths etc. is, unfortunately, part of the job when dealing with the public. Being effectively threatened with a knife is not part of anyone's job and he is carrying an offensive weapon which in itself is illegal.
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I have been thinking about what I would do if this was my daughter. Yes, the manager has a duty of care to her staff and she has failed to do her job, which leaves your daughter and you with choices that you would rather not have had to have. This man chose to behave in an unacceptable and abusive manner. There is no excuse, regardless of his life experience. By not reporting his behaviour to the police, he is being given permission to do this again, maybe with far worse consequences. Your daughter should not work for a boss who has so little regard for her safety. I know finding work to fit in with her studies will be difficult, but her safety and her peace of mind is paramount. This is one time when I would be forceful putting my opinion across to my daughter. It is also the peace of mind of everyone close to your daughter that counts.
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I can't help wondering if she can continue in the job anyway. If nothing is done and this customer is free to return will your daughter feel safe and secure in her place of work? Possibly not. If waves are made and authorities informed will it cause problems with her boss? Possibly.
Either way her work experience has been spoiled through no fault of her own. She sounds a good worker and they would be silly to lose her but she is worth more than this cavalier attitude to her wellbeing.
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Well she has gone in for her shift today. She was not terribly happy about it but went anyway.
She will go and see the manager tomorrow and we will see what happens.
My daughter has said that if the same man appears again she will close her till and go to the staff area until he has gone.
She will not serve him.
Shame it's come to this but we can just wait and see what her manager says.
Honeyb
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Just seen this HB.
Sorry to hear about it and hope it gets sorted one way or the other.
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What has the manager said HB? and how are things with your daughter?
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Meant to update.
She had a meeting with her manager on Wednesday. Her manager said she had not got the full story at the time otherwise she would have called the police. Not sure I believe that.....anyway.
She said my daughter had never complained about anything in the 18 months she had worked there so she appreciated how upset she was.
The man in question is now banned from the shop. If he tries to come in then instructions have been given to all supervisors to call the police.
No member of staff is to leave alone after the late shift. The supervisor has to make sure they all leave together into taxis or cars.
My daughter is a lot happier knowing she will not have to face this man again and that plans are in place.
Hopefully it's sorted now.
Honeyb
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Glad both you and your daughter are happier about the situation. It does seem like your daughters concerns have been taken seriously.
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A good outcome, Manager seems to have put sensible plans in place.
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Yes we are reassured. Her boyfriend is still coming to meet her for a while. She is doing a late shift on Saturday. I feel better that he will be there too. He is a big bloke :) and although a big softie, no one would know that.
I guess the fact she never moans about anything has gone in her favour. Who would have thought working in a little shop would mean she had to come up against this kind of thing.
Honeyb
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Yes, it is a great shame these people exist.
What a lovely boyfriend she has to protect her :) (http://:))
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Just read this post how horrible! I used to be manageress in a small shop years ago and would never allow any staff to feel scared, I didn't have to do anything as the owners would have been on to it like a ton of bricks. I now run my own business and would never allow any staff to feel threatened by some idiot. So glad it got sorted and she has support of yourself and boyfriend, it would have been so scary for her and she wouldn't have wanted a fuss when you know her manager. The guy probably doesn't have a care in world and better for shops reputation he is not aloud back in.
Well done you for not letting your daughter let it go and letting her know she wasn't making a fuss
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:thankyou:
Honeyb
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It's good that something has been sorted out.
Won't harm if her boyfriend is there on Saturday though.......
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Glad that the Manager has finally acted responsibly and that your daughter feels more comfortable with the situation.
I worked in a shop when when I was about 14 ( probably illegal?? It was a sweet shop :clapping:). Anyway this man used to follow me home - he never did anything but used to loiter. He then used to come in and 'chat'. I told my dad who 'had a word' lol. He stopped following me. Years later he was admitted to secure unit and has never come out :(
Frightening fact - some nasty weird people out there :(
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I was followed by a creepy man, who somehow knew my name and would call out. I was in my early 20s. It all stopped, when I visited his home in the role of a Special constable, alongside full time police officers over some other matter. You should have seen his face! ;D
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Nice one Ju Ju. :)
I think we have all come across the creepy ones on occasions.
It was the knife that bothered me. The abusive drunks she can manage. Not quite sure how she does it with a smile, but she does. Anything else is a bit different.
Honeyb
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That must have given him a well deserved shock Ju Ju!!
No a knife takes it all to a different level. That's why the manager was so wrong. Flaming weirdos. My husband was in the Navy for 20 years then the Police - he often says dreads a nutter with a knife.
Keep safe :) xxx
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Great relief all round then HB! Manager is doing the right thing now, which is the important thing.
My hubby was in police for 25 years & came across some bobby dazzlers.
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Glad it's all sorted HB X
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so pleased to hear of a happy outcome :)
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Maybe the Manager has asked advice from 'higher' up or had a real think about the situation. Whatever, the Police need to be informed so that should there be further problems, they will respond more quickly. Sometimes the Police need to build up a 'case' against persons causing trouble in order to take matters further and carrying an offensive weapon is illegal. Even ladies how carry cans of hair-spray or a potentially sharp implement can be arrested if they can't impress that it's for self defence :-\
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I think we shall have to leave it as it is CLKD. She has got a resolution to her complaint so not much more we can do, although I do agree.
Boyfriend will be waiting for her tonight to make sure she gets to her car ok. Sounds a bit daft but she is still a bit nervous.
Hopefully this will just go away.....soon.
Honeyb
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Not daft at all HB, it was a horrible experience for your daughter. I think she was extremely good to go back
I hope she is ok tonight
PN x x
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She is home now safe and sound.
She likes this little job....it helps keep her car on the road, along with the bank of mum and dad.....AND ....the mechanic boyfriend....Not daft my girl ;D
Honeyb
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Ahh, that's good news HB. x x