Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Joyce on September 26, 2014, 09:18:16 AM
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What would our OHs do if we weren't about?
My hubby has been trying to organise a trip to see grandkids. Due to work commitments he can't go same time as me. I'm going to cover October school holiday. First he faffed over dates with daughter, she's a nurse so doesn't know her shift pattern for time in question, but told her dad just to go ahead anyway as she'd sort something out. Hubby says he's waiting to see if she's off. She tells me he can go ahead, no point hanging about as flights increasing daily. So on he goes online. Now us ladies generally read all instructions for things, men generally do not. So next thing I hear is a loud ARGHHHHHH from bedroom. He's in a pickle, can't figure out why it keeps bumping him back. Errr that'll be because he hasn't followed all instructions and ticked all the relevant boxes. Step in me. I rarely have these problems, maybe because I'm usually the organiser. Couldn't see his expression, but probably a "YEH RIGHT!" look.
Now my daughter on the other hand has been told by her partner she's useless at organising. Always messing up dates etc. Wonder if it's genetic. ;D ;D ;D Son is like me, good at organising stuff.
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I thought this was going to be 'what would you be doing if you weren't on the forum'. ::)
Right I've had a think and my darling husband would probably relax more and take his time over things without me going on at him. He would also become very sad as when he was away on holiday with our grown up children and I didn't go, our daughter said he had a melancholy sadness about him even though he was enjoying the holiday.
However he would not feed himself properly because he has no interest in cooking ::)
He would also play his favourite music whenever and as loud as he wanted without having to use headphones or wait until I am elsewhere (long story) :)
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Mine would live on microwave meals! ;D In fact the week I'm away that's exactly what I'll have to buy him. He can manage to put a pizza in the oven too, but that's about it. Think housework would be OK, but there would be books & newspapers everywhere. There are piles of books in our bedroom too , but that's another story.
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Well.. now.. having had the last three months not being able to do much after my hysterectomy and the first six weeks not able to do anything at all housework-wise I know that mine wouldn't clean the bath or washbasin, wouldn't clean any of the toilets, wouldn't wash any floors or change any towels or bedding but he would hoover through once a week and do the supermarket shopping and I've also discovered that he is more than capable of preparing vegetables and cooking - with enough instruction. He would also, apparently, spend a lot of time cleaning out the dispenser drawer in the washing machine and proudly show off it's immaculate appearance... ;D
Taz x
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Toilets are self-cleaning aren't they? ;) ;D
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Whoops - forgot to mention the ironing.... twice in six weeks... and SO slow.. was very difficult to lay back on the sofa, eating grapes and galaxy and not say something..
Taz x ;D
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House insurance, bank accounts, car insurance,utilities.......ummm he would be lost.
He can cook really well albeit slowly. I'm sure he could work the rest of it out eventually.
He did live on his own for many years so he knows how it goes.
Honeyb
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I asked mine once, many years ago, and he thought for a while, winked and said "Find someone else to look after me"
Taz x
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;D Haven't asked mine, but reckon he'd say the same Taz.
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The last time my hubby ironed I took a photograph ;D
The thing that would worry me most is his ability to remember health things.....prescriptions and carrying snacks with him. I do it and then he just expects me to.
My daughter says I should stand back but I simply can't. I have a fear of him running out of insulin or having a hypo when we are in the middle of no where.
I know it's a control thing but I'm damned if I can ignore it now. ::)
Honeyb
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Now ironing he would do, he has always done his own ironing since he retired :)
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Whoops - forgot to mention the ironing.... twice in six weeks... and SO slow.. was very difficult to lay back on the sofa, eating grapes and galaxy and not say something..
Taz x ;D
6 weeks worth x very slow - how long did it take him?! (or is he still at it!) :o
S x
He didn't do six weeks worth - he just ironed the things he needed.
Taz x
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sensible chap, that's what I do and why my husband does his own. Maybe should add that I am not slovernly but cannot physically hold an iron and move it repeatedly backwards and forward due to neck and shoulder problems ::)
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Have to say my hubby does his own ironing. He moaned at my ironing of his shirts so told him to do it himself. Told kids at same time to do their own.
It's his organisation skills that are completely useless.
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Well my husband has lived on his own a number of times over the years but I do sometimes wonder how he survived. Paperwork would just pile up, he's okay-ish on the computer but will get so far then ask what he needs to do even though he's done it ten million times before. He can cook well enough, dust seems to be invisible to him but he does vacuum and do laundry, although successful laundry to him seems to involve the sheer amount of clothes he can force into one load ;D
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;D ;D ;D
I now leave instructions for washing machine. One time when daughter was still in Dundee & I was babysitting, he phoned me on my mobile to find out how to wash towels. Not as easy as you may think. I had to visualise washing machine & take him through it button by button. I was in middle of supermarket at the time.
We are irreplaceable ladies!
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I get that kind of phone call all the time....from a 92 year old ;D
I think men are really very smart. If they do a domestic chore badly then they know they won't be asked again. It's the same if they do it very slowly or it takes them ages to get around to it. They have got us sussed out ladies. ::)
Honeyb
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Heck, my hubby asked me how to open a mango dip bottle tonight. I thought he was taking the Mick! Eh no. Dear goodness. I said I thought he was losing the plot! Good at his job, so far as I'm aware, but don't ask him to do anything remotely out of the ordinary.
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I have to be really honest here. When it comes to fixing, sorting designing, making and just about everything else my hubby is your man.
I have spent half my life asking him to sort every thing.
Both my kids have the unshakable belief that if it's broke dad will be able to sort it....and generally he does.
Cleaning bathrooms....ummm no....sorting things.....Yep he's great and I'm not sure what I would do without him.
He teases me that some things in the house are mine until they stop working and then they are ours or his. ;D
Honeyb
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OH is really good at fixing things, cleaning and vacumming.
Not so hot at cooking and ironing.
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Oh Good Thread !
DH is the DIY man - like Honeybun, mine can turn his hand to most things. He won't get to know the laundry room however, although give him his Due, last week he emptied and re-filled the dishwasher ….. didn't want to know where the powder goes though ;D. He also runs the hoovery-thingy round once a week but we are both good at leaving stuff i.e. washing of floors …….. he has taken over the bedroom hygiene which leaves me the bathroom once a week, the cloak-room once a week, porch ……. we mix and match. If it were left to him though, the bins wouldn't get put out to be emptied ::)
He chooses holiday destinations and I go on line and pick lodgings/camp sites.
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What is it with men and bins?
Mine never empties the ones in the house, as for putting the big ones out for the bin men.......
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Mine does the bins, however putting the toilet seat down seems to be a bit beyond him. It must be very hard for our poor men :D
Honeyb
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I have trained mine about toilet seat. Very occasionally it's up, but hubby pretty good at putting it down, though I wish he'd clean up the splash back. ;D ;D ;D
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Shutting cupboard doors ........opens a door to get something out and leaves it open - annoying. Grape stalks - find them everywhere. Pyjamas - on floor. He is now banned to the garden to cut finger and toe nails as despite his promises he does not pick them up. But if he does Hoover he always says ' this cable is a shambles - can't u put it back properly'. Yes if I used it once in a blue moon I probably would !!!!!
We are awesome ladies xx
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This made me smile groundhog, my DH thinks all cupboard doors, drawers,and even jars and toothpaste tubes are self closing! Since he retired though to be fair it has eventually dawned on him just how much there is to do to keep a house clean and tidy. He now does most of the hoovering and washes the kitchen floor and has always done gardening and DIY. Despite being a whizz with the computer and all things technical he still hasn't worked out the washing machine or how the toilet seat lowers_ bless him.
Thorntrees
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O h yes, the cupboard thing - he leaves a trail of open doors, drawers, tops off things he's used. That is something I can't understand at all. And the grape stalk thing - he doesn't tend to leave them around the house but picks grapes off the stalk directly from the fruit bowl and eventually leaves the empty talks behind ::)
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I have to hold my hands up to being one of the leaving doors and drawers open and tops off things type but as I'm the one who eventually does have to tidy it all up it doesn't seem so bad.
Taz x
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Our toilet seat won't stay up by itself so that takes care of that problem :)
On the flip side to this, would we be able to do all the household finance and bills and number crunching and the heavy gardening, furniture moving and programming the Tivo box if our other halves were not here. Some ladies would I know, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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I have got to ask this BJ.....How does your hubby pee if the seat won't stay up.....quickly I guess ;D
I do the finances in our house. Always have. The heavy stuff hubby does and I am quite happy with that.
Honeyb
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I remember before I went into hospital I was trying to give my husband a quick course in how to run the house. He wasn't keen at all so I tried to explain it by saying that if I was going to do his job for six weeks surely he'd expect me to need some tuition. His reply was "But this is just running the house - how hard can it be?"
He does do the gardening but that's because I never notice it and we would live in a total wilderness if I was in charge ;D
I think that BJ means the top seat and not the one that sits on the rim... maybe.. can't see how it would work if otherwise if you had a slow pee rate!
Taz x
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Mine decided to do a twice yearly chore 2 days ago: got out onto the roof then asked *me* to fetch the bucket/window cleaner/gloves - so I had to stop what I was doing in order to scurry off and fetch for him :-\ ……… so my job never got done!
However ::)
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I don't know, I will ask him ::)
Taz the lid stays up, just not the lid and seat together :)
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I'm the 1 leaving cupboard doors open …… as Himself found out one morning :o
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Oh heck, my hubby is so damned tidy. He never leaves a cupboard door open or clothes on the floor. He cleans the sink after he has a shave and rinses and sprays the shower. I was the untidy one but I guess I was embarrassed over my piles of junk everywhere that I just started to clear up after myself.
However.....his man drawers... ;D......and garage are a mess. He still manages to find anything he needs. Today he was going about muttering about panel pins....eh what....but he found them.
He even plumps the cushions on the sofa before he goes to bed ::)
Honeyb
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Hubby is losing plot. Came through to kitchen whilst I was still trying to wash last nights casserole dish. Comes up beside me to rinse a plate & asked which was hot tap? Taps have been there for over 15 years!!!!!! I really think he's losing his memory. Worrying!
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Is he winding you up CG, had you asked him to rinse the plate?
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No always rinse plates prior to putting in dishwasher. Didn't have to be hot tap, cold would do. But he was looking to see which was marked hot. Like I say taps are same as always. Been a few similar things recently, I've commented every time with things like "Are you for real?" It's not the unusual, it's the things which should be automatic. Think I might have to keep an eye on him. No he hasn't been taking the Mick. He genuinely said he couldn't remember which was which.
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CG - The good thing is he did want to rinse the plate.
Lets not knock it.....
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are you worried cubagirl?
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I stood looking at the taps in our bathroom a few weeks ago, couldn't rmember which was which >:(
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Don't worry CG. We all have CRAFT moments at times. Let's be honest, we are all getting older and we all forget the simplest of things.
I know I do.
You should try dealing with a 92yr old who is just so much hard work. ::)
I could not work out how to use the TV remote the other night. I was tired and just could not think. Today....fine.
Honeyb
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Remind me - 'CRAFT' moment :-\
DH did lots of garden chores this morning that I wouldn't even consider whilst I was hoovering the utility room ....... (the bits he missed 2 weeks ago ;) :-X )
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CLKD - Try - Can't Remember A F------ Thing
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;D ………..
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This morning I was very grumpy with hubbie. ( blame it on the progesterone cycle!) The boiler didn't come on to heat the water and I wanted a shower before my daughter delivered our grandson for the day. The boiler is very noisy despite being in the garage. (Oil) So I investigated (trip to garage in pjs) and found the electric switch turned off. Well it wasn't me! Eventually hubbie owned up. He was in the garage talking on the phone when the boiler came on as programmed. As stated, very noisy. Now I would have gone somewhere quieter, but not hubbie. He turned it off and forgot to turn it on again. Do men have meno moments or is he just daft?
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Mine tried to claim male meno years ago. Doctor he mentioned to didn't laugh! No such thing he said. I think they have their own version.
http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_condition_info_details.asp'disease_id=300&channel_id=8&relation_id=55661
Have to say mine has some of the symptoms.
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At least yours owned up ………… my problem is lack of recall.
DH was planning to do some chores last week, I got on with mine - came inside to find him reading a book - he had forgotten his next set of chores. List maybe ………. ;D he did look sheepish though …….
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If I wasn't here >:( - we 'lost' 1 of the camper keys so when DH was in it tidying I asked him to check in the passenger door - where I put the key and my mobile whilst travelling. "not there" came the reply on Sunday evening. I have woken several times in the night/s with a rush of anxiety because we were down to 1 key ……. so I looked myself 10 mins ago and guess where it was …………. :beat: ………
He also found something he was searching for by moving a pile of un-read newspapers :-X
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:bang: (http://:bang:)
How frustrating! What would they do without us!
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He has no idea how many anxiety surges it caused :-\ :'( ……. wish I had looked myself - note to self, DIY ::)
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Apart from financial stuff I think mine would probably be fine.
When I was at mum's this morning he made wine, jointed a chicken, cut up and cubed a melon, emptied the dishwasher, put laundry to dry in the tumble dryer. Brought laundry in and sorted it and then made lunch. All without a list or being asked ;D
Yep, pretty sure he could manage fine.
Honeyb
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Deserves one of these HB :medal:
Mine is useless at finding things which are under his nose. ;D
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I actually think he was bored CG. ;D
Honeyb x
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Wish boredom had same effect on my hubby. ;D
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My ironing bores me Honeybun - when we head next in your direction I'll bring a pile for him ;D
I don't do the money thing, DH keeps us 'right' ………. I would have to rely on our Financial Advisor otherwise.
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He doesn't iron, but will sort and fold and put away.
I've always done the financial stuff....and I'm free.....financial advisors cost and everything has been sorted so we do it ourselves. He knows where every thing is so he would just have to work it out. He knows where the money is... ;D
He nearly had to do it a few years ago.
I remember posting on the forum years ago that I was dead. Hubby got a few letters offering condolences after his wives death. Child benefit was stopped as well as Child's Tax Credit. He and I had to call everyone and eventually get a doctor's letter to say I was still alive.
He got a bit of practice then.....I didn't like it though. It was upsetting and very bizarre.
Honeyb
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