Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: babyjane on August 31, 2014, 09:44:08 AM
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I find I am getting myself wound up and in a bit of a state so I hope its all right to vent here.
Facebook users will probably be aware of this recent challenge going around to supposedly raise money for charity and that in itself is not my problem. My difficulty is with the peer pressure behind the nominations.
Many say it is all in fun but I know what damage peer pressure can do. My son has nominated family members and most have taken it with good humour and taken part, but my husband has chosen not to as he is a very private person and he should be allowed to choose to abstain. However this morning there have been comments about him 'letting the side down' and there is my problem with the whole thing, the pressure, and is why I detest social media.
You will probably wonder why I am on Facebook then if I dislike it so much. Simply to keep up to date with my children and grandchildren as these days phone calls and letters containing photographs are an outdated form of communication, I realise that.
I'll get off my soapbox now >:( .
Thanks for the platform, I feel better now I have laid it down :)
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You should say to them if putting your head in a gas oven with taps on and not lit because it was challenge for charity and every one was doing it, would they comply.
Add something about "Lemmings" too.
Your husband has every right to stand his ground, there is nothing wrong with social media but you have to stand up for yourself, and leave it at that.
Its just a silly juvenile fad, soon it will be something else babyjane.
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thank you silverlady, for your wise comment. Husband is choosing not to get into justifying his choice as it will only prolong the issue. Hopefully they will accept him for who he is. He already donates monthly to his chosen charity and that is his business.
I was feeling so wound up earlier on his behalf I needed to lay it down in a neutral environment.
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Why get wound up about it? I'd just delete from my friend's list anyone who accused me of being a spoil sport.
Controversy is stirring http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/als-ice-bucket-challenge-charities-battle-for-ice-bucket-rights-9701866.html
Taz x
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Babyjane I can relate to this. We were nominated by daughters partner. My husband is a gregarious man and enjoyed the challenge. I was dreading it - im not a confident person and found it humiliating to be filmed. So on the evening in question I jibbed only to get a ' you're so miserable ' from daughters partner. I felt so down . I made my pledge to charity but don't like being made to feel bad for not joining in the 'fun'.
Each to their own I suppose xx
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Oh groundhog I can't believe this, what a unkind thing to say, its almost bullying, my OH donates to a few Charities regularly, he does so quietly with no fuss, in fact I have only found a few years ago that he has a standing order to do so.
He is Rotarian too.
I think if people want to partake in this they should be careful who they nominate and not use it a sport.
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I am sorry you were made to feel bad about not taking part groundhog, This is my beef with it that it could make younger people, and some older people too, feel bullied and coerced into something they are not happy with and it is this that gets me wound up Taz2.
I have 2 young granddaughters who took part and enjoyed it but it worries me that classmates could be nominated, not want to do it and then be picked on for not taking part. My eldest granddaughter has been bullied in the past for being 'different'.
I don't want to cause a storm but I feel better for being able to voice my feelings :)
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I wonder what the charity is going to do with all of the money?
Taz x
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What a ridiculous thing to happen.
If you don't want to do it and most definitely don't then there should be no pressure.
Lots of people give regularly to charity with no song and dance about it.
Your hubby was quite right to say no if that's how he felt and that should be it.
I also heard on radio that for some people who have heart problems then this has the potential to do real harm.
Honeyb
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I'm not going to keep harping on as I feel better now just from the replies here so thank you. All I have left to say is that in my own opinion this has the potential to become unpleasant and I am sure it was not originally intended to be.
I'll shut up now :-X
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No need for that as you have started an interesting discussion.
Honeyb
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:) thanks
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I agree with what the others say, no one should feel coerced into into doing stuff like this.
I also think that if someone wants to nominate someone, they should be the ones who donate to charity and not the nominee.
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What a WASTE of the most precious resource on Earth :cuss: water :'(
No-one tells me that I am a spoil-sport. Suggest that you donate to Water Aid instead ;) - this thread is current on all the Forums I visit and many are saying 'no'.
Another reason not to FaceBook!
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ALS needs donations though CLKD - donating to WaterAid wont help research possible cures into this dreadful disease. Is it Tesco that's donating a portion of it's profits from ice sales?
I think that the nominees should be asked first if they mind.
Taz x
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It's not so much the nominating that I got steamed up about but the guilt trip that can be put on some of them if they choose not to go through with it. Maybe I over reacted to my son's comment about his father 'letting the side down' by choosing not to go ahead.
I haven't been nominated but funnily enough CLKD Water Aid is my chosen charity to support monthly.
Its been good to read others views :)
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On a practical note.... it is possible to set your Facebook account so that no-one can post anything on your timeline with you tagged in it unless you OK it first. I've set mine up like this. So if anyone nominates me for this challenge by tagging me or tags me in something else it doesn't appear on my Timeline anyway.
This latest craze is like a modern version of chain letters - I never participated in them either.
"This above all to thine own self be true".
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Babyjane: Your son needs a kick up the proverbial >:( ……… letting the side down, in what way?
Tesco can afford to donate anything after their sales forecast?
"Polonius:
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!
"Laertes:
"Most humbly do I take my leave, my lord."
Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78–82
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CLKD we really all are on a learning curve today ;D
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When our young neighbours go off on their their travels after school, this is my quote: "unto thine own self be true". i.e. don't run with the crowd when it doesn't feel 'right', think before you jump etc..
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My daughter told me about this challenge and said that she has been nominated by one of her friends.
She said,"no way,I'm not doing that".She stands her own ground( good for her)
Hope she doesn't get any come back after reading some of these posts.
Facebook :cuss: :argue:
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Mind you - a simple idea has raised a mega amount of money http://www.alsa.org/fight-als/ice-bucket-challenge.html
I don't watch any of them now though - have just got really bored with it.
Taz x
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Isn't it under timeline and tagging Babyjane - under your security settings?
Taz x
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Thank you for the heads up tiger74 I have adjusted my timeline and tagging settings.
To be honest if my husband was better at alerting me to photos of the grandchildren I would probably get rid of my FB account ::)
Yes, thank you Taz2 I just found it by myself :)
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:congrats:
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:thankyou:
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re: This above all to thine own self be true
:D Yep, a favourite quote of mine. Thank you Mr Shakespeare (and CLKD). It was also a favourite of my wise late mother-in-law, she has it inscribed on her gravestone. I try to live by it.
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Another good bit of advice that I was given and have tried to live by was "Think for yourself, don't run with the Pack." I think it could be similar to
"to thine own self be true"
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Not sure where she got it from but my daughter always did her own thing. She had her own unique fashion when all were dressing the same she was different.She never followed ever, and come to think of it neither did my son.
More power to those who do not bow to pressure. It's not easy, but done once and.....
Honeyb
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The fashion sense of my daughter must have counted for something because her BA is in fashion business.
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The pressure reminds me of chain letters years ago and the repercussions if you didn't continue the chain.
Lesley x
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I do wonder how much of the monies raised will actually go towards a research grant - how much will be 'invested' and how much will go towards the MDs company car :-\ ……….
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Interesting article
http://oliviaeaton.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/why-i-wont-be-doing-the-ice-bucket-challenge/
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I think a lot of the info here has been proved to be from a fake report tiger. This is from the link I posted earlier
http://www.alsa.org/news/archive/debunks-article.html
Taz x
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:thankyou: UK Charities are now businesses, therefore they should pay the going council rate for their 2nd-hand shops. Anyone can ask for the Annual Accounts which are an eye-opener. Volunteering time is probably the best way of donating ;)
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So difficult to know who/what to believe.
Yes, I agree, volunteering one's own time is a good way of 'donating' to charity, also giving blood (if you're able to do so) and other such altruistic acts.
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Meno-Lesley- same here. I immediately thought of chain letters.i remembered the time I had one when I was about 10. Frightened the life out of me so I wrote some and posted them through friends doors because of the threat of what would happen if I didn't.
HB- my daughter is just like yours. She does her own thing.Doesn't follow her peers with fashion,she has her own style and won't be forced into anything.
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I was always very glad she had her own mind and would not just do things to be one of the crowd.
It did make life difficult for her at times but now at nearly 20 she has come into her own. She has met like minded girls at uni, they all have their own unique style and as they are all Fashion Business students they fit in(sort of ) at last.
Honeyb
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