Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Patientone on June 19, 2014, 09:42:26 PM
-
My Dr said I do not need to use birth control anymore .. a wave of fear has come over me !
I have been tracking my basal temperature for 4 years, the last detected ovulation was December 2012, and my last period mid January 2013.
I had several bouts of spotting and one long stretch of spotting in the summer and fall of 2013, this was due to fibroids.
Today my dr said .. no more bc.
I am excited and scared.
d
anyone out there that has experienced this ? Did it take a while for you to trust your bosy wasn't going to spit out an egg?
-
Friend of mine was like you, bit scared, but GP said at her age, 56, she was safe enough.
-
I'm 54 1/2
-
If in doubt use BC. One needs to be completely free of bleeding for 2 years ;)
What were you using if that isn't a cheeky question?
-
We have been using condoms, which with my irregularity had to be 100% of the time, so we're more that tired of that.
My Dr has always said 1 year. She also said the spotting I was having was due to my fibroids.
I faithfully chart my basal temperature, I have not ovulated since December 2012.
-
I was told that over the age of 50, being free of periods for 1 year was the length of time needed to be sure BC wasn't necessary.
Also, see menu on the left:
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/contra1.php
-
Seeing that I am in the 'over' 50 category :-\ I needed 1 year.
I'm at 1 1/2 years.
My last FSH was 58.3.
-
:-\ ………..
What does your GP propose to do about the fibroids? I had a small polyp which bled on contact, my Gynae wanted to remove it but I cancelled the op. (long story short): the polyp shrunk at peri-menopause !
-
I went to my GYN for this, not GP.
I went in a panic last November because I had been spotting for 3 weeks, (just a wipe on the TP), that's when she did all the testing and determinded that the bleeding was coming from the fibroids. it finally stopped after 7 weeks. (UGH!). I haven't had any bleeding since.
She had me repeat the transvaginal ultrasound at 6 months, I went a couple weeks ago and this second showed they are stable. I am due to go back in December for my yearly, but don't have to see her sooner if I start bleeding again.
-
That's good! Onwards and upwards then ……….
-
Yes, but every day I look for it's return :(
The hope is that the further I get into menopause, they will shrink or at least be nonsymptomatic, if they grow or start bleeding again, it could leas to a hysterectomy.
-
I stopped at 54 on docs advice. I was on HRT at the time so had no idea whether my periods had finished or not.
Taz x
-
Taz .. did you trust it right away or did it take time for you to not think about it ?
I think I'm paranoid.
-
It was very strange at first but I was in a fairly new relationship so soon got over the "shall we shan't we" question! ;D
You've gone over a year without a period and you are 54 - the two things together mean you are doubly sure that you wont get pregnant I would think. Enjoy yourselves!
Taz x
-
I have to confess that for the first year after I was told I didn't need BC I still did fairly regular pregnancy tests, it was the only way I could relax and enjoy whoopee episodes. ::)
However, I think Taz is totally correct, your age and length of time without a period mean you should be safe - Go for it!
-
"should be" ;D ……….. shall we start knitting :o
-
OMG CLKD !!! ;D
-
I used a cap for years, not exactly spontaneous but it worked as I never got on with the pill.
After our daughter was born hubby had the snip. So much easier for a man and my hubby is not squeamish about things. It was great. No worries and no thought of pregnancy. It worked for us and I don't know why more men enough don't do it.
Honeyb
x
-
Mine told me he would be promiscuous :o so I was 'done'.
-
Fortunately my hubby was more enlightened and volunteered to have the snip.
Why should women always have to be the ones to take care of birth control. It's such a small procedure for a man.
Hopefully younger men might view these things differently and when their time comes will do the right thing.
Honeyb
x
-
I'm afraid that I disagree that the man should always be the one to be sterilised. This has happened as I've grown older though and have seen friends go through marriage break ups and, sadly, deaths of spouses so that remarriage is a common happenig. A woman often wont want children as she reaches her late forties but a man, should he fall in love with a younger woman, quite often will want a new family with his new wife even though he is in his fifties or even older. Good news is that I have three male friends who have all had successful vasectomy reversals following divorce (2) or death of a much loved wife (1) but it was quite an intricate process.
I'm not knocking men taking responsibility for birth control but it does seem that men can father children well into older age whereas women reach an age when they definitely don't want to go down the pregnancy route even when newly in love so it makes more sense for a woman to be sterilised - although this is based on practicality rather than emotional issues.
Taz x
-
I don't think it should always be the man but it should always be considered. I do know that marriages break up but to look at a partner and consider you may or may not be with them years down the line is really a bit sad.
Honeyb
x
-
I suppose it does sound a bit sad but also it's realistic as no matter what happens a woman is not in the same position to carry on producing children as a man and, unfortunately, bad things do happen to relationships and to people healthwise so it may not be good emotionally to look at it like this but it is good in a practical sense.
Taz x
-
I agree Taz.
I stopped using contraception eight years ago at the age of 46 after one or two 'slip ups'. Following appointments with a GP for emergency contraception twice in succession - she said if I was consulting her with a view to wanting to become pregnant then she would have to advise the chances of it happening were 'highly unlikely'. I had a gut feeling she was right.
Not something I would advocate however! I do realise it occasionally happens and had it done so would have been catastrophic for me - the oldest woman to conceive naturally (according to Wikipaedia) being 59 at the time! :o
-
After our second son was born (he's 20), my husband went to a urologist to talk about having a vasectomy. After that visit, he came home white as a ghost. The Dr told him there is a slight increased risk of prostate cancer after vasectomy. That scared him out of getting it done.
I was irritated with him over it but in the end thought, I can't tell him what to do with his body any more then he can tell e what to do with mine. It was never talked about again.
So all these years we've followed sort of a natural family planning by me charting my periods on a calendar, thankfully I was very regular and this worked for us for many years.
Once I started skipping periods, then it got really tricky and annoying. It's really caused me to stay away from him more then what's fair. :-(
It's been a source of friction in our relationship as you could imagine.
Now, I'm having some trouble letting go, am I really here ? really not able to get pregnant anymore?
The fear of getting pregnant is so engrained in me, I wonder if I'll be able to relax and just start enjoying my relationship with my husband again.
-
You need to give it a go - it will be great for both of you now that you know you can't get pregnant. If you were still having regular periods then there would be a very small chance of pregnancy but you haven't had a period for over a year so are post menopausal.
Taz x :)
-
Patient one I had an absolute terror of getting pregnant. Like you, it caused friction in my relationship. Doubly so, because I had had to stop taking the pill at 54 and we had never used anything else. I couldn't use the cap as my fingers are numb and can't feel anything. He wasn't happy with condoms - too small apparently ::)
Long story short, my FSH was high over 6 months also I hadn't had a period since stopping the pill so thought sod it and went for it, the chances of pregnancy are miniscule. Having said that, I did do regular pregnancy tests for the first year. There would have been no way I/we could have dealt with a baby, I would have had an abortion.
-
Thank you for sharing your stories :-*
I am going to continue charting my basal temperatures, the low temps assure me that I am not ovulating.
I think the thing that is sticking with me is that I have heard from SO many women that their Drs tell them, 1 full year with NO bleeding whatsoever - not a drop.
I had bleeding through 2013, but it was spotting, annoying and long (7 weeks). I had no detected ovulation on either of the 2 charts I am using, and after much testing my dr said that it was from the fibroids.
I asked if I should have another FSH test, my dr said there is no need.
-
FSH can be unreliable ;)
-
Yes, I know, I was just asking my dr for extra reassurance.
Right now, the most relaible thing is my temperature charts. Not usre if any of you tried charting your BBT but it is quite fascinating how accurate it is.
-
If you are happy with your temperature charts go with it.
FSH can be unreliable, I was told that many times, however I was lucky in that I got consistent high results (well twice 6 months apart ::))
Just a thought, bleeding isn't always hormonal........
-
Thank you for letting me share such a private matter here <3
-
Patientone - None of this is easy, coming here helps a lot, well it's helped me :-*
-
it isn't easy at all and we need our girlfirends. :-*
-
I think they usually say one year after period stops because that is the nearest thing to an indicator that you are ovulating.
I read on one NFP website that you could stop charting after 6 months with no ovulation :o
I have charted for a year and had funny cycles where there may or may not have been some sort of ovulation going on, 4 months with nothing but lots of bleeds, then a perfectly classical cycle with ovulation!
Given up charting and gone on hrt. (with bc)
-
This route isn't easy or convienient Dahliagirl, but I can't take HRT so I'm kinda stuck.
-
I have started hrt because I got fed up of my joints hurting (and was more than a little worried about what the future might hold there).
So now, there is no point charting. But it was good whilst it lasted. It certainly helped to know what was going on. In the second half of the year, the cervical mucus was getting a bit unreliable, so it was a shock to get a proper text book cycle, all of a sudden. It is a very good way of getting further information and peace of mind.
-
Ugh .. my H and I are going away overnight tomorrow night, I am so nervous. ugh ugh ugh
-
Enjoy your time away. It doesn't have to involve sex ……… ;)
-
In his mind, this is our no BC celebration getaway..
-
Might be worth having a little chat to point out how nervous you feel.
Also, say you think it's unlikely, but how would he feel if you did get pregnant?
I DO NOT think you will get pregnant but when I had the same chat with OH we agreed on a way forward. Which for me was, go with the flow but do preg tests once a month to identify any issues quickly.
But CLKD's right, your time away doesn't have to involve sex.
Have that chat with him see what he suggests given your concerns.
-
Thank you so very much for your imput !
We have talked about it, he feels nervous too, this is SUCH a big change for us. Of course our trip doesn't have to include sex, (so many of them haven't it's kind of sad really), but how long are we going to wait? What will it take ? My temp charts show no ovulation for a year and 7 months, my Dr said no bc needed.. not sure what I would need to make me not feel nervous.
-
I was the same, I thought I was bound to get pregnant.
Despite, at the time, being 54 and statistically unlikely to do so.
Oh and having been told by GP, who I now trust totally, that I did not need BC.
The main thing is to enjoy your trip, and each other, you are in this together.
What will be will be......
-
I am 54 also, will be 55 in the fall.
Take me to today Limpy .. nothing ever happened did it?
-
No No No - trust me if it did, the world would know!
I am 56 now, nothing untoward happened.
-
I think I heard those "no"s all the way over here in Ohio ! ;D
-
That's good.
I wasn't certain I'd made myself clear.....
Have Fun.
-
Don't do anything I wouldn't ………. ;)