Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: bettyboo22 on May 07, 2014, 12:58:16 PM
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Do other members feel like that lonely and fed up no one to talk too
or no one got the time , we have had a bad time off it lately with serious debt
problems i know our own fault buy easy done when you lose your job or things dont work out
my dog has epilepsy so meds all the time and vet bills . hubby dont talk very much to involved
with sports on the telly oh to be single again sorry just had to have a moan :'( :(
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Hi
Just say Hello and sorry you are fed up.
Is there anything you can do to fill your day?
How old are you? Could you work- or do you work?
Could you do some sort of work even for just a day or two a week?
Have you thought about maybe volunteering one day a week to meet new people- and it won't cost you anything!
Does you area do things like health walks where you can join in and meet new people?
There is no reason you have to stay in a marriage that isn't working for you. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel?
Has he tried to change?
My mum felt lonely in her 70s because my dad is anti social. she joined the WI and now has a fab social life, is on their committee, goes to a reading club, has loads of friends through the WI...
You need to make your life the best you can and if your husband doesn't want to join in then leave him to it- and even leave him!
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Has your debt been faced? there are agencies that can help! so start at your Bank.
Is your Vet aware of your financial problems, you are able to buy a prescription from the Surgery and then use it to buy cheaper medication on the net. Saves about half the cost :o
Volunteering can be an opportunity to meet others without needed to socialise after work. Lots of charities need people to sort the bags of clothing and run an iron/steamer over stuff before it goes for sale.
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Moan away.....
But do seek some help,a Step Change debt charity are great....you can call them, they can really help, don't struggle on alone.
:)
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hi thank you for your replys yes i have a part time job cleaning but
thats quite isolated too and we are on a iva plan for the debts
but i think its mainly lonilness as no parents they have passed on now and no
real relatives who are that bothered its hard to make friends i think it is anyway
most people have children and dont have time . yes i have looked into voluntary
work and may give it a go thanks once again for replys :)
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volunteering is important!
What skills do you have? Could you teach computer technology for example in your Library …..or go into your local School to help with the reading? Local Youth Club?
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As some others have already said, volunteering is a fantastic way to meet other people, develop new skills and interests and you never know it could lead to a new job. I manage a charity and we have about 8 people who volunteer with us at any one time. Some do it because they are retired or are just looking to get out the house but others do it because they want to meet people and be the first people to know about any jobs that are coming up with us. There's plenty voluntary organisations who would be delighted if you could volunteer with them. See if there's a volunteer bureau in your area and they should be able to match you up with an organisation that suits you best. Most people might think it's just charity shops that are looking for volunteers but that's not the case. We are a furniture reuse and recycling charity and have people who volunteer with us, driving vans, upcycling furniture, on our sales floor, doing admin etc. Honestly I have seen the difference this can make to peoples lives so think about giving it a go - I'm sure you won't regret it x
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:thankyou: :welcomemm:
National Trust may be a good place to begin offering services - most properties have a book shop …………...
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bettyboo22 have you tried your local Well Woman Centre, they have Drop-in mornings, free courses, even free Counselling if needed and Woman Support Groups.
Its a great way to make friends even if you are shy and you will be welcomed.
I am sure each town has one. This is an example of what they do http://www.wellwomencentre.co.uk/about/default.html
I worked in the one in my area for 10 years and saw many women become more confident, and make friends from every walk of life. There would be no pressure on you at all but in time you might want to become a volunteer, and the rewards are many.
The link is not my area but all Well Woman's Centres are run on the same lines, I was a counsellor and outreach worker.
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:thankyou:
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yes thank you will try the womens group but not sure if one in my area :)
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Hey lovely
i joined a new social group for over '40's. I know across the county there are ones called Spice...give it a try.
I hated my own company before I left my husband 8 weeks ago and now crave some me time as I am so busy.....dust down and plan things for the future to help stay positive..... Rescue dog walking....I do it for Greyhounds in my area....or I borrow Stanley a friends dog
So moan away ....get it off ya chest and let us help
Mrs January
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hi mrs january
Thank you for reply , yeah got 4 dogs already i looked at that group you mentioned
but thats london im essex life is not too good at the moment i would like to part with my husband
but no place to go too and one of my dogs would have to come with me but thanks anyway :)
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Hey Bettyboo
I have just split with my husband in Feb 14.
Maybe start by having some legal advice...most places do a half and hour free. Relate have an online chat service too...this helped me no end at the time i needed it.
Do you have family or friends you could stay with? look hun at all you options , it can be achieved as I did it too.
Keep in touch, for now I send you hugs
Mrs January xxx
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Hi Mrs January
No i dont have any relatives i could stay with nor do we own a house its rental
so trapped really :'(
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4 dogs is a lot to leave behind :'( ………… are you leaving because you are lonely?
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yes kind off , me and hubby dont have anything in common really apart from the dogs
his eyes are glued to the cricket every weekend most evenings , other things as well
but thank you for writing x
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Hey Bettyboo
i do feel for you...life can be so hard sometimes....
What about taking legal advice and or Citizens Advice Bureau they do have website for advice. My friend recently found a place to rent that took her two dogs too. Don't give up lovely you can get out of this just need a plan
Lotsa Hugs
Mrs J xxx