Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: LindyLouLou on April 22, 2014, 09:34:45 AM
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Hello, sorry for starting another thread about this. I just feel so bad. I have read this forum for a long time and always found it so helpful. Felt so good for quite a while too that I dipped out - now the anxiety is back with avengeance.
I have health anxiety and suddenly with the news that my brother needs a triple heart by pass - I have plunged terribly. Not sleeping, racing heart, worried about dying. So nauseaus, tearful. I was feeling so good.
Sorry to sound so depressing. Just wanted to get it out by venting my feelings.
Lindy
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Hi Lindy
Know how you feel :foryou: i've had health anxiety for 2 1/2 years and it's horrible. Sending you a hug :bighug: Are you taking anything for it? I've just started taking Kalms which doesn't stop it but just takes the edge off the feelings of terror.
Libby
x
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That kind of news would have same effect on most of us LindyLouLou. With things that are going on with me at the moment, I have every sympathy. I'm not nearly as anxious as you though. I'm coping using Bach's remedy rescue pastilles. Worth a go. But if you are feeling like you can't cope, maybe a visit to your GP would help.
When's your brother having his op?
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Oh Lindyloulou, I so feel for you, I'm exactly the same, I go on happily for a little while, then I hear of a family member who has problems and I immediately think I've got it, or I'm going to get it, and I plummet. I find the best thing is to take each symptom of how I'm feeling and rationalize it... sort of "it can't be this because" or "if it was that, then there'd be this as well" and also "it can't be that because sometimes I feel so well, but that wouldn't go away" It doesn't always work but most times it does. Am I making any sense? I do hope you feel more yourself soon, keep your chin up...
:tulips2:
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Hi Lindyloulou,
I know exactly how you are feeling.
I suffer from anxiety and have had health anxiety in the past.
I too went down when my brother was ill recently and needed a transplant.
It is an awful thing and I sympathise with you.
Maybe a visit to your GP to see if there's something to help you through this awful time.
:hug: for you X
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Don't suffer! go to your GP and ask for medication to ease symptoms. Been there ....... :-\ ......... :hug:
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I really sympathise too. Anxiety is awful and infiltrates through you. I have been reading your posts Cubagirl and hope you get some good news soon. Lindy Lou - I think whenever we hear news like this it is terrifying and if you are anxious anyway everything is magnified. I don't know what to suggest as I am exactly the same. I am on citalopran for depression and anxiety but it is doing very little. At the moment I am awaiting a phone call and I am in bits. I had a scan last week and went to the GP on Thursday and the promised results weren't there. My anxiety has been there all weekend and today it's 100 times worse as the results have been re faxed and I have to wait for a phone call. The ultrasound was on my kidney as I have been having pain but they concentrated for ages on my liver area. I am trying to control the panic inside me. I can't blame this on the meno as I have always been anxious. It's horrible and not helped by the fact I am on my own which is why I am on here. At least we can chat on here and help each other through these things. Hope you get some relief Linda Lou xx
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Groundhog - are you able to up the Citalopram for a few days? I take 5mg at night and if necessary, add 5mg in the morning for 5/7 days.
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Well CLKD - I'm on the standard dose of 20mg per day but to be honest they don't seem to be doing much. That said it's only if and when you stop taking them you realise they were helping after all. So do you take the extra on top of the 20mg tab. Some of my friends are on 40mg so I thought 20mg is a low dose but if you are only taking 10mg, maybe not. I don't know I'm just not in a good place and the slightest thing now sends me down the dark roads we shouldn't visit until we have to. Going to be a long day :(
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How long have you been on the Citalopram Groundhog?
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Have you thought about a 'talking therapy'?
Some of my work involves this and although I agree that drugs have their place ( some of my clients are on these too) - they do just dampen down the emotions without really tackling the issues in a head-on, long term way.
CBT is a really good way of working through anxiety and behavioural issues like this, as is mindfulness and even counselling with the right type of counsellor.
Your GP cn refer you for NHS CBT and it is supposed to be the first route for any psychological issues before giving out pills- worth thinking about?
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Oh Lindy
Firstly don't apologise for sounding depressed. I am not surprised you are depressed. The news you have had must have knocked you for six.
I really hope things get better for you soon.
Just wanted to send you (((hugs)))
Shazzie x
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Yes thank you Sarah 2 - I have had some counselling in the past and it was helpful. I really need to do something.
CLKD - I have been on citalopran for years. I came off them for a while but then when my mother had her brain haemorrhage and life became very very stressful I went back on - so that was about 2 years ago. I have discussed with my doctor about changing and she did suggest Prozac but to be honest I have been so down at times I have been scared to mess about with things.
I am sorry Lindy if you feel I have hijacked your thread, it wasn't intentional. Hope you realise you are not alone with this terrible affliction xx
Thanks everyone xx
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Apologies little Minnie - I have been on citalopran for many years xx I addressed my reply at CLKD - meno head!!
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Maybe you could up it 30mg for a while and see if it helps. X
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Hello again ladies. My husband told me to go back to bed as I hadn't slept hardly last night, so just got up again and trying to start the day again! Thank you all for your replies, and please don't anyone apologise for anything, it is just so helpful to read the messages and realise others are going through the same.
Having lost both parents in my 20s I have relied so much on my brothers to be there. The older one had heart surgery years ago and now my younger one needs this by pass. He may have to wait 5 months! For some reason just never thought he would have to go through this too. Now I have got myself into such a state about my health - hearing my heart beating in my ear and racing etc and think I am going to have a heart attack or stroke at any moment. The physical symptoms of anxiety are awful aren't they. It also seems to be so selfish worrying about myself!
I have been taking 20mg of citalopram for the past few years since my last blip, so is that quite a low dose? I was interested to read CKLD you do a bit of self medication. If I upped my dose do you think it would make me feel bad like it did when I first went on it? This medication did seem to take a while to kick in and initially I felt worse.
Feeling very tearful - a combination of my anxiety and your caring replies. Thank you all for your helpful comments.
Lindy xx
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Hi again
Have you tried or thought about mindfulness - or CBT? or hypnosis?
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I am trying to tell myself I have been here before and it did get better! How do you ladies deal with the lack of appetite, feeling so sick and shakey but empty?
I really shouldn't be so surprised this has raised its ugly head during menopause, had post natal depression and anxiety, also in my teenage years (40 years ago) I could hardly eat as I would vomit in certain situations. Dr said it was "nerves" and put me on valium and then Librium heaven forbid! When I met my husband I seemed to blossom and didn't have this awful anxiety again until childbirth. Hubby gone out to buy biscuits.
Thank you Sarah 2 have just seen your message posted as I was writing this. I will certainly give this some thought and thanks for your suggestions. I will try the mindfulness tonight as well when laying there!
Thanks again everyone, hope you all have a good day.
Lindy xx
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I am on a low maintenance dose. In your situation I would speak with my GP. I also take beta-blockas for anxiety as well as an emergency pill which he will only prescribe occasionally but it really helps. Once I get over the anxiety I can begin to eat/drink again, otherwise I stop completely :-\ .......... even the sight of food adverts makes my stomach heave and boy, are there a LOT :cuss: - in magazines, daily papers, bill-boards ........
Also: if one has taken one AD for a while and stops: the brain won't have the same up-take for the same preparation. So changing to a slightly different AD might be useful!
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Yes anxiety is terrible and takes over your head. I did speak to my GP re the scan result that has caused today's anxiety. She said I had an enlarged pancreatic duct. This was on a previous scan too taken two years ago so she is not concerned. I was ok and then I googled it. Now I am anxious again.
Ignorance can be bliss and a little knowledge is a bad thing.
I will make an appointment to discuss this scan result properly and discuss my anxiety issues.
How are you feeling Lindy Lou?
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Hello ladies, just wanted to say that I sympathise as I am also struggling with anxiety at the moment (only briefly interrrupted by flushes and surges of pure rage, wth?).
I am on patches HRT and I am also having counselling which I believe is helping me cope with these intense feelings.
My mother became ill suddenly and died of a brain tumour when I was in my early thirties and for a while I worried about my health whenever I had a headache. I think if I faced the same situation now I would be a lot more sensitive, partly because I'm older and youth is now longer on my side, but mainly because of the menopause and what the hormonal changes are doing to my abilities to cope.
All I can do is send hugs and hope that we all begin to feel better as soon as possible.
Take care.
K.
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Hello everyone, thank you all so much for your replies, it helps so much. I went to work today - after another bad night, really had to push myself - I work in a school so have had two weeks off. My husband says he can see it in me when I am like this. He thinks it has been brewing for a few days before it hit me Sunday. Someone today mentioned about me not being my usual self. I know I wasn't like this when we broke up for the hols.
Had a good cry just now - haven't done that in ages - maybe because of the citalopram?
Perhaps that is what we need to do to get it out.
I am sorry that so many of you are suffering too - although strangely reassuring at the same time. Anxiety is such a horrible condition to have to deal with.
I feel so sorry for my brother too, he was always so fit and healthy. I have to turn my thinking round to the fact it is good it was found and they can operate.
Hope you all have a good evening
xx
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Hello lindyloulou and ladies
Anxiety really is the pits, I am currently on a half dose of Prozac 10mg which is just about holding me.
I was on seroxat for a few years and couldn't come off it...terrible withdrawl, so changed to Prozac, which is easier to come off apparently
When I get the gloom and dooms now I force myself to go for a walk, sometimes I cry whilst I walk, but at least it is a release of emotions ....if I can't even force myself to go for a walk, I try to sleep for an hour.
Being on this forum really helps me as I realise it is not just me....
Talking (or typing) really is good therapy
THANKYOU
Wombat x
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Definitely helps to talk on here. Have taken your advice CLKD. Rang my surgery yesterday in bits and seeing a dr this afternoon. Dreadful night again - must be experiencing the whole list of anxiety symptoms. Can't cope at the moment.
Hope we all get some relief soon.
Lindy xx
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So sorry you are going through this i am on Prozac after loads of different upsets over a quite a few years just getting back to some sort of normal then OH had to go to GP as he had swollen bits leave it to your imagination found out nothing wrong down there but found something suspicious on his 1 kidney now going through more tests CT scan and Urologist next week so had a massive blip last week. We have been married 40 years this year and even though he drives me nuts at times I cant imagine life without him. Hope you feel a bit more upbeat today and it really does help to talk.
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Hope the GP helped?
Leony - keep us up to date!
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Hi lindyloulou and all - haven't been on for a while - seemed to be coping ok but am now sooo anxious - in fact I am glad I am on my own cos I must look a right idiot -sobbing and shakey. Have been reading about VA and the vagifem which I have been on now for 2 years though I must admit I don't take them regularly - just for weeks at a time when the pain is bad. I have been in agony just under my right rib and am going for scan to see if it is gallstones but that 'pessimist' in me keeps telling me it is something more sinister. My other half is going for a scan too and I am worrying about this -seems endless Have had a head from hell today and seem to feel just dizzy etc. The more I try to find something to do the more I don't feel like doing stuff but sitting at home seems to give my mind the opportunity to think of all sorts of rubbish. I am also tired with not sleeping properly though I think this is partly to do with my other half going to the loo and then I cant relax and get back to sleep but I feel exhausted.
This site is ace lindy and even if I don't get a reply it helps just to 'talk'' about it if you know what I mean. Take care and I hope things calm down for yu :bighug:
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Hello Leony, Salad Girl and CLKD, thank you again for your replies. It helps so much. Just seems so horrible we have to keep going through all these health problems/scares, if not us then our nearest and dearest. This morning I felt like a deflated balloon and after what happened yesterday I am not surprised. If you have got the will and energy to read on I will try and keep it brief!!
Laid awake most of night panicking.
At 7 texted my friends at work and boss to say I wouldn't be in as felt so ill. My hands were shaking so much could hardly type, literally felt I was going to die.
Waited for my drs appointment mid afternoon - feeling dreadful. At surgery another women there with head in hands - was abt my age so convinced the poor woman was going through the same as us. After in the chemist, from the conversation I could hear she definitely was. She looked in pieces.
After my chat with dr, although he said all recent blood tests (apart from blood sugar, little high) were all fine, I didn't feel any relief. He was a lovely chap but didn't seem to have much clue how to deal with the jibbering wreck in front of him, apart from ask what I thought would help. Going to up my dose of citalopram to 30mg but may take 3 to 4 weeks to kick in!
After I left and picked up my presc for something to help me sleep, I decided that there and then I had to see an optician. I know about changes behind the eye being a sign to high blood pressure etc and maybe leading to damage of other organs if not controlled. I have been so concerned about this that I haven't had my eyes tested for 5 years and I wear glasses! I ran into an optician close by - in my panic asked to see the pharmacist - she said it is the opticians! Unfortunately only the receptionist there and no optician or other customers! I ran to one down the road and I must have looked such a sight - pouring with rain I was soaked but they could see I needed to see an optician! Fortunately a lovely young girl dealt with me and everything with eyes ok. As I sat there chatting after with her my stomach was making sounds like I have never heard before - due obviously to not eating for days!! God knows what she thought she was faced with!!
Came home - not bad nights sleep considering the previous few. This morning feel deflated but a bit calmer, still feeling sick, but hope will all settle further. I think I may have had some sort of breakdown!
Thanks to all who have read through my ramble - I do hope you are all coping.
I hope no one I know saw me yesterday afternoon.
Lots of love and hugs
LindyLouLou
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You ramble away! Sometimes writing 'it' down helps us see the wood for the trees.
You will find that the added dose will probably kick in sooner than 3-4 weeks ;) - let the medication do the work, don't look for improvement, easier said than done but you will probably realise that you 'feel better' after a few days.
At least your eye test is fine! Another plus to tick off the list.
Nausea: if you havenn't eaten properly for a few days your gut will be empty ......... apparently ::) - what have you to hand to nibble? I use dried fruits and nuts, bananas, chocolate, Redybrek, diced chicken breasts with ginger/garlic on a bed of plain rice, pancakes. The issue is to begin eating little and often to up your energy levels and to allow your body to be nourished.
It takes discipline to begin eating again <sigh> ......... after 40 years of anorexia I now recognise when I am hungry and not ill!
So what if anyone saw you :-\ ;)
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Thanks CLKD for your words and tips on eating. You certainly have been through a lot and your help with all this is gratefully received.
Also exactly, why should I worry if anyone saw me as a mad woman running around yesterday afternoon in a panic ::), one of my added stresses I put on myself I think - everything, including me has to always look fine and dandy!! Def much harder to achieve nowadays though!
LindyLouLou
xx
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My Psychologist once asked "Why do you think you are so important that everyone is looking at you?"
Have a quite time in a supermarket and watch others: how many are looking at you/people in general, most are checking money/kids/shopping trolleys/shelves ::) ........ I was phoned by a friend many years ago who complained that I had walked by her in the street :-\ - I replied "Good job you didn't speak or touch me, I would have leapt sky high!"
Survival is selfish ;) even as I sit here my tummy is slightly anxious, I've eaten recently so that may be the reason ......... but it's my tummy not my head that's worried :(
Yep, been through it - thought I would never step outside the front door ....... but now I can do certain things with DH that I would never have considered without medication ;) :)
The other thing people used to ask: "How do I tell family/friends that I am taking A. B. C.?" - my reply: "How often do you tell family/friends when you go to the loo for a bowel movement? Is it really anything to do with anyone other than you and your GP?" oh I'm so brazen, I used to worry what others would think .......... not any longer. What you get is what you see ;)
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Hi LindyLouLou
Know exactly how you are feeling, I was in the same place as you 3 years ago.
Your tests are fine, eyes are fine so now you know it's the menopause and nothing else.
I felt exactly the same as you, couldn't eat, sleep or go to work. I didn't know how I was going to get through the next half an hour never mind the day, I felt dreadful.
I learnt a lot about myself at that time. There are plenty of people on this forum that has been through this and felt as bad as you. Do try and eat it does help. You will feel better.
LM x
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Hello ladies.
I wanted to add that I'm in the same boat at the moment, I wish I knew the answer to this problem.
I am permanently on edge and it's exhausting, my moods range from angry to anxious to morose but always seem to by pass happy (huh!) or even calm and content, why is that? I also find that I react in an extreme way to everything, it's as if my emotional setting is turned up to maximum 24/7.
I know you ladies will understand and I'm so grateful for that as I think my family are fed up with me going on all the time.
Thanks for being there, I'm going to treat myself to a little cry later and hope it helps.
Many hugs and best wishes to you all.
K.
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Hello, sorry for starting another thread about this. I just feel so bad. I have read this forum for a long time and always found it so helpful. Felt so good for quite a while too that I dipped out - now the anxiety is back with avengeance.
I have health anxiety and suddenly with the news that my brother needs a triple heart by pass - I have plunged terribly. Not sleeping, racing heart, worried about dying. So nauseaus, tearful. I was feeling so good.
Sorry to sound so depressing. Just wanted to get it out by venting my feelings.
Lindy
\Hey LOU LOU
dont stress sweetie wana join my club hehehehehe
Im taking my beta blocs as Im skipping beats feel terrified daily it will go with the Blocas but last time it took 29 days before it went and Ive not had a periods since 1995 at 42
Early meno or what they now call Ovarian failure
YOU VENT as much as u like ur not alone OK XXXXXXXXXXX
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Hi, You are definitely not alone.. anxiety is dreadful, I agree with the CBT counselling, I have just started it and feel it has helped somewhat, my doc wont give me anti depressants along with HRT x
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Louie2 - why wouldn't your GP prescribe ADs and HRT? maybe he/she would like to see how the CTB helps before prescribing because if you take too much of anything you won't know what is/not working ;)
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clkd, please take this in the right way :) i want to ask how did you get to the point where you dont mind what others think ? have you always been that way or did you work at it ?
I ask the question because i think alot of my anxiety is centered around what other people think, as someone else said in this thread, i always have to put on a happy face never wanting to show how i really feel, worrying that i am not looking as good as i should etc, which is so much harder as the years go by.
Hope you dont mind me asking, i admire your attitude to life from what i have seen of you on here :)
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Hey ladies
I too have had incredible anxiety.I take Citralopam 30 mgs and have for just over a year now, on top I take 30mgs of beta blockers for my hand tremor, good and not so good days with spilling food or handwriting..... But I am me and I am proud as you should be of who you are... We have meno to deal with and sometimes have to do it alone and manage work, children etc..
Love and hugs from me
Mrs January xxxx
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Lindy Lou Lou you sound very familiar the not sleeping, nausea, anxiety, crying...... I Hope your AD kicks in asap it may not take as long or have the same side effects with the increase. My AD helped such a lot after the anxiety undermined my foundations so to speak. I now have HRT patches which are the icing on the cake. I wish I had been given them a year earlier but its done now. Eat, do whatever it takes. You mention sleeping tablets, the ones I was given (zopiclone) gave me a roaring appetite within 15 mins of taking them I was in the fridge demanding all sorts of food I don't normally have like a pregnant lady. Luckily that has worn off now but it helped put some much needed weight back on & a whole field of chicken & pigs are alive today thanks to that (I am veggie so work that one out???) Plus pickled onions are now not trailing under the bed.
I cannot believe I am no longer in that state of 24/7 anxiety, I read my journal yesterday & it served to remind me that improvement is possible. You work in a school that in itself must throw a lot of problems up but I would guess there will be ladies of our age in all departments who may also confide similar to you. They might already recognise but not want to comment. Your not alone certainly & I am hoping that you are fast asleep as I type this. B x
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will start a new thread ;)
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OH went to see urologist today nothing wrong with his kidney just a bit of scar tissue on it don't know what from but its working fine but he has a build up of fluid in his man parts or a hydrocele said they can operate if it gets to big or painful but he says its fine it doesn't hurt so not to bother as there is a risk of infection or bleeding so stupid me worrying over nothing again as usual.
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There seem to be so many triggers for anxiety, don't there? I was okay tonight until I put the telly on, then the fast talk, action, constantly-changing picture etc started me off. I went and had a bath and stuck the radio on, but then the music was too fast and made me feel worse. Now my fingers are tingling, there's a shhh sound in my ears, I've got a headache, my teeth hurt and I've got "anxious" breathing. I've got a bottle of chamomile oil which I'm going to sniff, as that sometimes helps. I just wish I could avoid these anxiety triggers, but they're part of life and I completely forget about them until something snaps again. I don't want to take medication for this. But anxiety does make me feel like a ridiculous meno-nutter in front of hubby and daughter. Sigh!
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Not sure if you are on HRT or not but have you considered St John's Wort.
It's really good for anxiety.
I have made the choice to take it with HRT with the knowledge that it can reduce the efficiency. For me it's a worth while trade as I can't tolerate AD'S.
Honeyb
x
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Noise makes me irritable :cuss: especially if I am unable to stop it at source (i.e. cars travelling over the 30mph limit, lawn mowers going on and on and … )
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And husband snoring.....lathe biggest irritant of all.... ::)
Wombat x
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Hello again ladies, hope you are all doing ok. Just wanted to thank you all again for your replies, you have all been so helpful. Hopefully now my increased dose of citalopram is kicking in - definitely feeling calmer than before.
LindyLouLou
PS Great thread you started CLKD on "Why worry what others think?"
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:thankyou:
glad that the Citalopram is kicking in - however, don't take on too much too soon or you will use up the energy you are getting back ;) …….. I have to pace myself and not say 'yes' too often otherwise my anxiety floors me.