Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: oldsheep on February 27, 2014, 09:47:09 PM
-
My husband works silly hours. Last Spring he got C Difficile after a course of routine antibiotics, taken when he was very run down. He then took metronidazole and gradually got better.
This winter he's been at it again with the 12 hour days (London) and is run down. He's suddenly developed symptoms and exhaustion and a totally coated white tongue which suggest the C Diff might be back. I'm very worried.
He's seeing a gastro enterologist on Monday (there are no "C Difficile specialists" apparently!) but is unsure if he can take probiotics prior to seeing her and no doubt doing the stool sample.
I'm sure I read on here a few days ago that someone else had C Diff and had done a lot of research on various treatment options if it keeps recurring, like that faecal implant procedure, and that it may be available now in pill form? Can't find the thread and a search for C Difficile is invalid (the C has to have 2 letters to work) and Clostridium Difficile returned no results.
If anyone can help, would be most grateful. I worry a lot. It's our 29th wedding anniversary on Sunday and I just want him to be well.
-
Of course you want him well. Give the Dept a ring to see what he should/not do before the appt.? Or your GP? I'll try to find the thread …….
I put in 'faecal' and bumped the thread ;)
-
This is one of the links from the thread - not sure what thread it was on though http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131004105253.htm
Whoops - just read your post CLKD!
Taz x
-
Sorry to hear about your hubby oldsheep. Hope things improve soon.
-
::)
-
This is one of the links from the thread - not sure what thread it was on though http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131004105253.htm
Whoops - just read your post CLKD!
Taz x
thanks so much everyone. I have copied that link to his email so he can chat to the consultant about it. He seems better today after a rocky day 2 days ago. The consultant is a maniac for doing colonoscopies so I know he's worried about that. I actually thought I'd read that they were contra indicated if you had any chance of C Difficile but obviously I don't know much about all of this.
-
It seems quite rare for a bowel examination to be carried out according to this http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/c-difficile/basics/tests-diagnosis/con-20029664
Taz x
-
thanks again Taz.
He saw the doc today. 3 stool samples, one for C Diff and the other 2 for other stuff, and has had blood tests. She said 4-6 weeks unless things go downhill.
We are travelling next week for 3 days and then long haul on 26th for 3 weeks so I'm hoping he's going to be fine.
-
Hope he will be ok, but make sure regarding travel insurance, just in case.
-
Did the Consultant say he's fit to travel? If Insurance finds out, should he have to Claim, that he has a pre-condition ::) …… where you going, can't remember ……… did you celebrate yesterday?
-
well, the short trip to Lisbon next week is for work (his) and the travel insurance is through work so hopefully all will be fine. He's so run down but just won't stop working 12 hours a day >:(
Consultant think it's run down from overwork and told me to keep nagging him (does he listen? ::))
Long haul later this month - well there's an excellent GP that we used to be with in Cape Town. Last time I went out to South Africa, I got a UTI and had to see him twice, had 3 prescriptions (I had a chest cold as well) and claimed when I got back. The excess was £100 and I think I got £15 back!
Obviously if he wasn't well enough to travel or his tests show up something, we'll have to think. His dad is 81 and very difficult and quite ill, and our nephew is having chemo, so it's a duty visit rather than a holiday.
Not going to help his immunity either, having all of that to deal with.
-
Your husband needs to face his work load and ask himself 'what am I running from?' ……….. some people think that they are lesser people if they don't take on every task that comes around and never deal with delegation …….. what worries him about him being at home rather than at work, some people need to 'be seen to be doing' ::)
-
I know you probably don't want to hear this but my hubby was a 12 hour day man who neglected his health and he also travelled all over the world with work.
When he was 50 he had a heart attack. Mild fortunately but a heart attack none the less.
Our kids were age 9 and 5.
It was a huge wake up call for him and his priorities changed along with his working hours. We had less money but his health improved as did family life as he was always stressed.
You need to talk to him. There is more to life than work as my hubby found out.
Honeyb
x
-
Yes, I know and I've told him that I don't want to see him in hospital before he stops pushing himself so hard. (I'm so sorry about your husband Honeyb). The consultant said the Y chromosome (woman consultant) is impossible. Men neglect their health until something bad happens, as you say.
I nag endlessly. I've talked to him about it so often.
When he did def have C Diff, he worked while he was on metronidazole, feeling awful, snow white tongue, AND it was last summer when the weather outside was stunning.
He was lazy as hell when I met him (student!) but is a workaholic now with a lot of stress about no-one else being available to do the work - some of which is entirely justified I think as there aren't many people he can delegate to. And when he has something that has to be done, he can't switch off until it is done and done properly.
So I'll keep on nagging, and worrying. I hate nagging.
He laughed when I told him no-one on their deathbed ever said "I wish I'd worked harder" !
He took his current job as thought it had a better life/work balance and it did for a short while, then they made big changes, gave him more responsibility (which he enjoys) but also there's a high turnover of younger staff who need supervising and he often has to redo what they've done as well as his own work.
Sorry to rant on. x
-
Perhaps he really doesn't have to 're-do' anyone's work! If so the Company are employing the 'wrong' people, perhaps to keep costs down!
I told DH years ago that he married me - to go away and think about why he did marry me and whether he now felt he preferred to be married to the Company. It was the longest 3 days of my Life but he came back to me ........ we never had the flash cars or holidays, we paid our way ..... but when he started to go on 'bonding' weekends I put my foot down with a firm hand ........... had he continued on those 'bonding' sessions, some which were over 14 days! then our marriage would have ended. I will not take 2nd place to anyone or anything!
Then I stopped nagging. If he puts on weight I remind him that he is buying alcohol and that he knows the outcome of a bottle of lager each night, 'you are a big boy now but I find you are heavy when on top these days' ........ usually works ;)
-
I have had the same problems with mine oldsheep and all I can say to you is "save your breath". You wont change him. He wont change until he wants to and this is him - like it or not.
I had some counselling a few years ago and the counsellor mentioned the fact that quite often wives become more like mothers to their husbands. They keep on at them (all for very good reasons) and nag about things which the man should really take under control himself. This is enabling behaviour. She told me that I should sit my husband down and explain why I was worried but also tell him that this was the last time I would mention it. This would mean I could let it go - it was not my problem but his. So I did that. He hasn't changed but I now know that it is not my problem, not my fault and not within my power to change.
Your husband is who he is oldsheep - it is what makes him "him".
Taz x :hug:
-
Not saying I don't nag, I do occasionally. However, doubt he'd have hung around for all these years without some compromises. I would never lay down the law though. He'd have told me where to put it. He's never laid down the law with me either. It's about working through these things together as a couple.
We love them as they are, and they us, even if it takes some nagging from time to time. After all nobody is perfect.
-
I never nagged about the hours my hubby worked. Apart from anything else it would have been pointless. It was very hard at times but we managed. As he left on a Monday morning and I knew it would be a few weeks before I saw him again :-\
He got his social time though. Golf trips, motor racing and all the rest of the things blokes do.
As you say CG we just worked through it together. I do appreciate his company now and make the most of it.
Honeyb
x
-
I suggested him joining me at gym, when he cuts back. Should have seen his face. ;D
I miss him terribly if I'm away visiting grandchildren. It's only a few days usually, but just like him being around. We get to go together next month though.
-
thanks everyone and Taz, I know you're right. He's all I have though - no kids, no close family and my best friends are dotted around the world, we've been together 34 years and have been through a lot, so we have an incredibly deep bond.
I can see how pale he looks right now, and his tum isn't right (no results yet) and he's ratty as hell so I just worry. I'm going to keep up ringing him at 6.30pm - 7pm to chase 'when are you coming home' but I think the rest he just tunes out, yes.
As for the rest, I'm working on keeping him happy :)
For our anniversary he bought me another dress online (some of you might remember the Sack Saga from before! ;D) - it's lovely this time but doesn't fit at the neck as I have really small shoulders and a not-so-small waist. So disappointed. So he won't stop trying to smarten me up and I won't stop trying to make him work less and make time for more fun stuff. He's given up pottery (no time). I'm going to fuss if he gives up his 6pm cricket in the summer. He's one of the older players but still enjoys it and none of them are exactly world class either.
thanks xxx
-
It is however, amazing what women will put up with until the relationship begins to flounder, then these niggles become issues and are often the final straw :-\ : I've known a couple of women who put up with until situations altered, socks left on the floor every night, added to other niggles, meant that both were glad to see the back of their men when they walked out the door ::)
-
Ahh bless him oldsheep. I remember the last time he bought you something online. They do try.
He must be quite worried himself about the possibilities, hence being ratty. I'm sure he realises you're worried too. Hope he gets results soon.