Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: kerrieann on February 19, 2014, 08:40:48 PM
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Any thoughts or ideas ladies, i have always had big boobs, but they have now reached 42dd >:( my partner loves them, but i hate them, i have spent a fortune on bras, ive got a drawer full that i have never worn.
The last few years i have been wearing minimiser bras, but they just seem to squash my boobs down and sort off under my arms ;D dont know why iam laughing they get on my nerves, i like to wear open neck shirts but the buttons gape and then if i have a bigger size they look like a sack.
Any ideas ?
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I'm 34GG! Decided to embrace my curves. Have you tried Pepperberry for shirts/blouses & their sister company Bravissimo?
The good thing with Pepperberry is they do different sizes of curviness without increasing overall size. Check out their website.
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thanks so much cubagirl, ive heard of bravissimo but not pepperberry, going to look now, do you wear underwired as i find they are digging in but if i dont then i dont get enough support.
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Yeh have to wear underwired, but Bravissimo really good at giving proper fittings. I'm well supported now, even though bras are very expensive. But if you find a good fit, watch out for the sales, because it's possible to get good bargains.
Maybe you're not wearing correct size, either back or cup, maybe even both. I used to go to m&s, but their sizing is pants by comparison. Another place to try is Figleaves.
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I say "if you've got it, flaunt it". I'm hourglass and I've learned to love my big bust.
I used to work as a Personal Presentation Consultant - helping people put together the ideal wardrobe to suit their life. Pushing the bust flat and out sideways is not a good look. A slightly more pointed, neatly supporting shape bra that brings things together (creating a lovely cleavage) will make the bust look smaller. Buying a bra that is too small will always make the ample bosom look bigger - the right cup size is vital. A bra should be comfortable - not dig in or ride up. When you buy a bra, take a tee shirt that has a good fit and after you try a bra on put the t shirt back on and see if you look neat and trim - no bulges anywhere.
A good neckline is important - no crew necks and open neck shirts as you describe, as they can make you look bigger - try a deep V neck top as it can be very flattering for us bustier ladies. Avoid stiff fabrics - soft fine layers will be comfortable and practical. Go for dark grey, brown, green or navy instead of black.
As cubagirl says - M&S are not great. John Lewis usually have well trained assistants - or Rigby Peller if you can afford them. Never buy a bra if you haven't tried it on first. I'm afraid underwire is the only way to go.
DG x
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thanks ladies, we dont have a bravissimo or figleaves near to us , do you think i should use their guide to measuring yourself ? i know that i have put weight on around my middle and that is why i think the wires are digging in, maybe i dont have the right size ?
Thanks for all your advice dancinggirl, you seem knowledgeable, since i have put weight on around the middle i find my self at a loss of what to wear and always end up feeling frumpy :( i like jeans and trousers, but always end up with a muffin top need to loose weight but its not easy. kerrie
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kerrieann - please, please don't buy a bra without trying it on first. Getting the right cup size is crucial for comfort - the wires should sit on the body and definitely not dig into the breast. I have gone up 3 cup sizes in the last 10 years and I haven't actually put on that much weight. EVery make of bra will be a different size as well so you could be a 36 DD in one make and 38 E in another.
If you are curvaceous then go for softer lines generally. Avoid highly tailored, angular clothes. Softer, finer fabrics skim the body and create a slimmer look. I can help a client loose half a stone by dressing in the right way. Never wear anything too tight or too loose buying the right size is very important. One of the tricks I used to use is : get the client to put on an outfit from their wardrobe that they feel really suits them, is comfortable and possibly brings compliments from others - try to analyse why it works for you - is it the shape, colour, neck line, does it pull focus to your best features e.g. legs, bust, shoulder line? i found many women don't know their best features which is terribly sad - most of us have such terrible self esteem. It can be a disaster to have a friend or relation help you buy clothes as they tend to choose things that suit themselves and not you. When you try things on - take several things into the changing room (sometimes a couple of different sizes of the same item) and try each thing on and look at your self at a bit of a distance if possible. Try to forget it is you and just try to work out whether it is looking balanced - what is your gut feeling about it and very importantly do you feel comfortable ? My big bug bare is dressing rooms - the lighting is usually terrible (highlighting all our cellulite and bulges!!) and the mirrors make our legs look shorter. I often wonder if these stores actually want us to buy anything!!!!
Sale time can be very dangerous as we tend to buy what I call 'Compromise items' - things in the sale are in the sale for a reason - nobody wanted to buy them!!!! There are only the occasional random bargain finds and will usually be in the more expensive shops.
GEt your foundation garments sorted (bras and pants) and then treat yourself to a lovely V neck top that skims your body and in a lovely colour. DG x
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dancinggirl that makes alot of sense thanks, make alot of mistakes buying closthes, i wear leggings alot with tunic type tops to cover the lumps and bumps around the middle, i like linen, but only if its soft like you say not the starchy kind :) during the winter i have bought several long line jumpers to go over leggings but some of them make me look huge. I dont think iam adjusting to putting the weight on around the middle i have always had a big bust, but add that to a thick waist and i get stuck feel like a big round apple and as my legs are slim it makes it look worse what do you think about longline shirts open at the neck with a camisole under ?
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Good advice from Dancinggirl! I have recycled many things which my daughter said looked good on me. Yes I have stuff that I "slob out" in at home. But I always make an effort for dressing up. One dress, my fav was from Bravissimo. Gives the room round the bust I need, but nips in round the waist. It's making sure you balance out your body shape. I have also ended up in tears of frustration trying to find something flattering.
Many shops assume we all want & need the same styles. We don't. For instance many tops just seem to hang from my large boobs, so I have to make sure I pick something slightly more fitted. Last year after losing nearly 2 stones in weight, my family got me vouchers for Monsoon, I shop I've always wanted to buy something from. Turned into a disaster! Picked out heaps of dresses, but all but one hit me in wrong place. Fitted on the bust, but also accentuated my tum. Never a good look! Got a gorgeous coral dress which was I nicely shaped shift dress. Compliments were flying, even from the shop assistants. Hubby loves me in that dress too, which makes me feel good too.
Hope some of this helps.
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OK ladies - I really understand your dilemmas. One of the things that really annoys me about tops these day is that they rarely have the darts around the bust that give shaping. It's cheaper not to do darts as it uses less fabric so we are forced to either buy a bigger size top which swamps us or get the right size but it pulls across the bust line and creases in our armpits - horrid.
kerrieann - you've obviously got good legs which is fab (mine are awful) so you definitely want to show these off. When the upper body, bust and waist, are the problem you need the long line tops but if they can tapper into your legs like an upside down tulip this works really well. The layering you describe of a cami under an open shirt often works well. I still think with the right fitted bra you could show off you shoulder line better with a deep V. The thing to avoid is bulkie fabrics and woollens - they add to the bulges. Fine layers are much better.
cubagirl - I expect you are hourglass like me which is also a nightmare to buy for. I always have to buy bigger size trousers and take them in at the waist. Monsoon designs for tall willowy ladies with no shape. M&S are no better these days. Sadly we are often drawn to designs and styles that are really not going to work for our shape and lifestyle. Dresses are particularly difficult - I tend to buy separates which I can mix and match.
I personally don't hesitate to buy more than one of something if I find it works well for me - At the moment 'Up Town' trousers seem to fit me well so I've bought two pairs of corded velvet (so comfortable - two way stretch )in different colours and I intend to buy the same this spring in lighter stretch cotton.
We could go on for ever about this.
Happy shopping ladies DG x
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Hourglass is pretty close DG. Shame I've got a tum though. Look ok straight on though. ;D
You could be our online personal shopper. ;D
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great idea cubagirl, our personal shopper, dancinggirl, what you say about the upside down tulip top, i have a top like that and its one thing i really feel looks good with straight jeans or leggings, as alot of my tops hang out at the front because of my boobs, and dont even tough my legs. This is a big problem for me having big boobs if i get a t shirt top that fits my boobs, it hangs out at the bottom.
I do tend to order alot of clothes online so that i can try at home not squashed in a changing room only problem i find is that they do not rush to put the refund back to your card when you return, it can sometimes take a month.
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Ladies - online shopping is all well and good but I'm afraid there is nothing like braving the shops and those awful changing rooms. Buying online can work out so expensive and time consuming as you either have to send it back or you end up keeping it 'just in case'.
Don't try to find something special - just make sure you have a few key items that work with your lifestyle and shape. Go for simple things like good fitting trousers and skirts, unpatterned tops with good neck lines etc.
I'm happy to help any one who need sa bit of advice - just email me or do another post.
DG x
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Hi I also have challenges finding something nice to fit as I'm also a G cup but with a slim waist. I find wrap around dresses very comfortable but sometimes need a cami underneath otherwise toooo much cleavage on show! Also found a lovely dress in the "Masai clothing" range which fits beautifully on the bust and then flows down hiding tummy area. I agree with everything that has been said about a good bra - it is essential!
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Expensive taste ladybird, but nice looking stuff. Found a local stockist. Must look sometime.
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Fewer items but better quality is the best way to go - as we get older our bodies need the better cut and better fabrics. If you can find things cut on the bias (on the cross) it can be very flattering as is falls along the body line far better. Usually costs more because it uses more fabric. DG x
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Exactly what my mum used to say DG. She was very good at making her own & my clothes, so knew a lot about the cut of clothing.
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Dancinggirl I agree with you about better cut fabrics. I have loads of impulse buys that I wear once and never again cluttering up my wardrobe but if I splash out on something a little more expensive it wears well. My body shape will never fit a standard size now in the high street shops but somehow better clothing looks and feels better. Don't get me started on shoes!
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Hi ladybird - I agree about shoes - they are an absolute nightmare. I have particular problems as I am size 2.5 and if one more person says "Oh your are lucky, you can buy children's shoes" I think I will throttle them. I do not want children's shoes I want comfortable, stylish shoes that will last.
I have done a bit of a spring wardrobe edit recently - very cathartic. I've bought some new trousers and a couple of tops for spring. A good golden rule - "When you buy something new, throw out something you haven't worn for 2 or more years". When buying clothes try to buy items that can be worn 3 different ways. There are so many tips etc, from my days as a wardrobe adviser I could go on all day.
I urge all you ladies to throw open your wardrobe and get rid of the old fusty stuff you know you will never wear again and treat yourself to something new - even if it is just a new scarf to brighten up an old outfit. Happy shopping. DG x
PS anyone watching the BBC 2s Sewing Competition? - I used to do a lot of sewing so absolutely love this programme.
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Hi Dancinggirl, I laughed when I ready your post as while you have very dainty feet, I am a tall lady who has to wear size 8 or 9 if a high heel! I have real problems in finding comfortable shoes that don't make my feet look like great big boats! yes I agree with you, I really should have a major throw out as there are clothes in my wardrobe that will never ever fit me again although I live in hope. Love sewing bee on BBC2 - I can't sew a stitch but really admire anyone that can.
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kerrieann - please, please don't buy a bra without trying it on first. Getting the right cup size is crucial for comfort - the wires should sit on the body and definitely not dig into the breast. I have gone up 3 cup sizes in the last 10 years and I haven't actually put on that much weight. EVery make of bra will be a different size as well so you could be a 36 DD in one make and 38 E in another.
If you are curvaceous then go for softer lines generally. Avoid highly tailored, angular clothes. Softer, finer fabrics skim the body and create a slimmer look. I can help a client loose half a stone by dressing in the right way. Never wear anything too tight or too loose buying the right size is very important. One of the tricks I used to use is : get the client to put on an outfit from their wardrobe that they feel really suits them, is comfortable and possibly brings compliments from others - try to analyse why it works for you - is it the shape, colour, neck line, does it pull focus to your best features e.g. legs, bust, shoulder line? i found many women don't know their best features which is terribly sad - most of us have such terrible self esteem. It can be a disaster to have a friend or relation help you buy clothes as they tend to choose things that suit themselves and not you. When you try things on - take several things into the changing room (sometimes a couple of different sizes of the same item) and try each thing on and look at your self at a bit of a distance if possible. Try to forget it is you and just try to work out whether it is looking balanced - what is your gut feeling about it and very importantly do you feel comfortable ? My big bug bare is dressing rooms - the lighting is usually terrible (highlighting all our cellulite and bulges!!) and the mirrors make our legs look shorter. I often wonder if these stores actually want us to buy anything!!!!
Sale time can be very dangerous as we tend to buy what I call 'Compromise items' - things in the sale are in the sale for a reason - nobody wanted to buy them!!!! There are only the occasional random bargain finds and will usually be in the more expensive shops.
GEt your foundation garments sorted (bras and pants) and then treat yourself to a lovely V neck top that skims your body and in a lovely colour. DG x
i AGREE GET ALL BRAS FITTED AND BE PREPARED TO PAY 50 QUID OR MORE ITS WORTH IT
U NEED THICK STRAPS AND GENTLE BUT STONG UNDERWIRE THE SIDES OF YOUR BUST MUST BE ENCLOSED IN THE BRA AT THE FITTING IF THEY ARE SHOWN ITS THE WRONG SIZE DONT WORRY ABOUT SIZES JUST GET ONE THAT FITS AND IS COMFY
DONT WEAR TIGHT FITTING TOPS NOR BAGGY ONES MAKE A DAY OF IT TRY ON LOADS OF TYPES OF TOPS FIND THE STYLES THAT MAKE UR BOOBS SMALLER
IM 34 F AND SOME TIMES I WAS FF DEPENDING ON MAKE
I SWEAR BY TRIUMPH AND HESTA THEY DONT LAST AS LONG SO I BUY 2 AT A TIME THE SAME BRAS AD I BUY THE EQUIV TO DECENT PRIMARK BRAS FOR AROUND THE HOUSE AND OUT IF IM WEARING LOOSE TOPS ENJOY FINDING THEM AND I UNDERSTAND TILL I WAS 14 I USED TO BIND MYSELF DAILY I WAS 34B AT 11 THATS NOT FUNNY HAHAAAHAH