Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: ellie on February 05, 2014, 01:21:32 PM
-
Did anyone watch the programme last night about the age gap between couples?
It was very interesting, and personally I don't have a problem with it, as long as they are happy and not harming anyone.
Thoughts anyone?
-
There was ten years between my mum and dad. There is ten years between hubby and me. My 19 year old daughter is currently going out with a man who is 12 years older than her. Now I do have a bit of an issue with that but I don't have a leg to stand on without being a total hypocrite.
I did not really notice the age gap until the past few years. Hubby is slowing down a lot now. I am very aware that when I am 59 he will be turning 70 and I don't like it at all.
I used to tease him that he only married a younger woman so he would have someone to push his wheelchair. I really hope that the words that were spoken in fun 30 years ago won't actually come true.
If I had to go back I would still do the same but I do wish the age gap was not so much.
This worries me for my daughter because I know she could face the same.
Honeyb
x
-
I didn't watch that programme but it may well have been a repeat of one from a while back.
I'm afraid I am always slightly sceptical of huge age gaps in couples, especially younger man and very old woman, simply because the couples shown on TV tend to be a bit odd! The men seem to have had little going for them in their lives, not had many previous girlfriends of their age ever before, and have settled for a mummy figure.
I had a long relationship with a man who was 14 years older than me when I was 21. I think once you get beyond a 15 year gap then it becomes more significant because it's almost a generation if it's 15-20 years.
It's true that in many age gap marriages one person will be widowed young, but you never know what is going to happen however old you both are.
-
My hubby is seven years older that me, but so much fitter than me, and young looking for his age....
One woman last night was 39 and her husband was mid seventies....now that is a big gap.....
-
There is 18 years difference between OH and myself, like HB I wish there was not, I would not change him, just wish he was the same age as me 24 years ago it did not matter at all.
I have seem him through a brain tumour, pacemaker, heath scares, two life threatening, very traumatic, numerous hospital admittances and visits to A&E and the daily ailments, the drugs he has to take scare me. It has clipped my wings and my once wide world very small now.
It is frightening seeing the aging process daily, to see a very handsome charismatic man age, at times breaks my heart. He still looks nowhere near his age and he has a very sharp clear mind, that is a consolation, but I still wish we were more of a similar age.
-
Only 2 years between hubby & myself. School chum married someone 12 years older than her & they met when she was 18. Son is 5 years older than his GF, but she seems much older.
-
M in L was 9 years younger than F in L. Never seemed to make any difference. One can need to Nurse our spouses whatever our age (think road accident victims here) ……. I think the important issue is to make sure we can source the support required readily 'for when' and I didn't see the programme - too much else on!
-
There's 7 and a half years between hubby and me, which isn't that much and anyway, I got used to my Mum and Dad being 8 and a half years apart. I like it - makes me feel protected! :)
-
OH is 12 and a half years older than me, currently he is 68.
So far, he still has not grown up, ::) and is is a lot fitter and stronger than me.
However, we have started looking for houses that I could manage by myself, in the event of something horrible happening to him. Where we currently live has smashing views but is isolated, old and not easy to manage. I find it difficult with my MS and couldn't cope there alone. It's not a nice thing to think about but has to be done.
We had a scare a few months ago when we thought he had something serious, that brought the age difference home. Though I suppose it shouldn't matter, s--t can happen at any time of life. :-\
-
My husband is 6 years younger. I watched a bit of that programme then got bored, as they didn't delve into the things I'm interested in - ie the psychological slant of big age gaps. I felt that certainly with two of the couples I saw interviewed - (including the 78 and 39 years old) where the woman was much older - their men had a slight learning disability - absolutely nothing wrong with that - but there was probably a bit of the role of caretaker on the part of the woman. The 39 year old man had gone straight from living with his parents to living with his much older partner.
I don't think there's anything wrong with big age gaps in relationships - God knows we're all just trying to make it through life - so whoever helps you is fine in my book. As a former relationship counsellor I did tend to see difficulties emerge with these relationships - often when one partner became older and the younger was put in the role of carer, more and more. I also think it can be problematic where the much older partner is seeking a very much younger counterpart as a way of denying the ageing process in themselves.
-
No one got a toy boy then ;D
Honeyb
x
-
Not any who'd have me. ;D
-
I don't think I would want one to be honest. Anyone other than hubby seeing my saggy bits really does not appeal ;D I really don't think he notices ::). Pretty sure I could run about naked and he would not bother.
Honeyb
x
-
There you go again, streaking. ;D ;D
I wouldn't want anyone seeing my flubby bits either. Don't think mine pays any attention either, unlike years ago. :'(
-
My 19 year old daughter is currently going out with a man who is 12 years older than her.
Honeyb, I don't know whether this will set your mind at rest, but I met OH when I was 18...................
-
He is very nice Limpy, just not what I imagined for her. But then again Prince Harry would be asked some difficult questions ;D
It's nice you have been with your hubby since you were that age.
Honeyb
x
-
No one got a toy boy then ;D
Honeyb
x
I have ;).
I'm 56 & hubby has just turned 48.
We got together when I was 40 & he was 31.
He loves me & my "saggy bits" ;D ;D
-
He is very nice Limpy, just not what I imagined for her. But then again Prince Harry would be asked some difficult questions ;D
It's nice you have been with your hubby since you were that age.
Honeyb
x
I know what you mean HB, but if he is nice, who knows, it may work.
When we first started "associating" he had just turned 30 and thought it was the end of the earth. He felt he was too old for me, even though we got on really well with each other. We split up several times because he felt it was the right thing to do. We got together properly when one of his older work colleagues pointed out I was actually pretty mature given that my mother had left my father and brother when I was 11, so I wasn't the typical 18 year old ::)
You are right though, it is nice :D
-
HB and silverlady - same here with wishing me and hubby were nearer in age.
We met when I was 20, him 37
He has always looked at least 10 years younger and was extremely fit and active
His recent illness aged has him very quickly
I remember my dad being very concerned when we met, saying it would be in the later years it would notice.
There is so much I would love to share and do with hubby, but he does not have the same energy of mind or body as me
We met, married and bought our first home within 9 months and celebrated 38 years last November. I do not regret a minute, I love him with all my heart. I just want to share and do more together and have more years ahead than we probably have. :( (http://:() PN x x
-
Wellllll, guess I'll pop in with my news. Married my seven year younger beau yesterday. Found out I may have breast cancer one hour before wedding. My new hubby was a wonder of support and we'll go through this together. Asked him if he'd like to back out of wedding and he acted as if I were silly and was a delight at the doctors. Everyone at the medical office apologized for throwing a bad note into our big day.
My Don was 13 years older and it didn't matter until he hit 80 and then it was difficult, but we had many wonderful years together.
-
Trey, congratulations on the wedding! Hope you will both be very happy. Sorry about the other news though. When do you get results?
-
Biopsy Friday! then three business days. Have something very wrong with eyes, flashing lights, unlike any visual migraine I've ever had. Up a 2 am, furnace not working. It comes on by self and I'm roasting. Ugh.
-
Gosh trey, thats a mix of emotions for you.
many congratulations on your marriage, really lovely to hear after all you went through with your lovely Don.
Comforting to know you have someone with you for the road ahead. He sounds a really nice man.
All the best for Friday and I hope that awful thing eases in your eyes/head soon.
Keep in touch with us. PN x x
-
WOW!! Congratulations Trey :congrats:
Sorry about the other news, good luck for Friday, we'll be thinking of you :hug:
Libby
x
-
Congratulations Trey, it's so good to hear some happy news. :congrats:
Hope all goes well on Friday. Also, you get your flashing lights sorted out, it must be scary.
Wouldn't it be nice if things were straightforward?
Lots of hugs :hug:
-
No one got a toy boy then ;D
Honeyb
x
Yep, me :) Only by 6 years but still my toy-boy ;)
-
Bobbles is 18mnths younger than me he says he WAITED what at 17????
For him just ME and for me just him if you get my drift ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
March 15th we will have been married 40 years.
I get scared now cos the years are going by and Im scared I will loose him first so Ive decided Im going forst
No arguments BUT we are enjoying life and living inthe moment and as YET no health problems for me
Oh bad back and Av but thats it no pills nothing Bobbles takes Col and BP pills but even the GP said he didnt need to take them but best to be safe as his parents died when he was 13 and his siter has HIGH COL@BP yet she runs 5 miles a day is 69 looks 59 is a size 8 is an almost vegitarian so must be heredity
I can honestly say Ive never regretted for one nano second my love for Bobbles
Yes wed all do somehtings diff Id have tried medicaly to have more than 1 child
Id have not stayed in Ozz YES If I had hindsight Id have demanded HRT at 37 but hindsight a wonderful thingx
-
Congratulations on your wedding Trey :congrats: Good luck for later as well.