Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: dulciana on January 21, 2014, 09:17:50 AM
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I find it so hard to shift myself to do anything domestic at the moment and am wondering if anyone else is finding the same. I know what needs to be done in the house but I'm beginning to reap the just rewards of my menopausal laziness - dust, allergies, untidiness (I am a tidy person by nature) and...........mice (2 recently). I'm ashamed of the state our home's got into, but I just haven't the oomph to get it done since the meno set in. If I do get something done, it brings me out in a lather and then I think "That's enough of that!" and leave it again for the next however many days/weeks. It's really getting me down, as I like tidiness. The daft thing is, I don't find it a problem at all to look after my appearance. My clothes are always co-ordinated and neat and I follow a strict skincare regime. I just feel sorry for my hubby that he has to live in this state - and our daughter was quite disapproving of it when she visited us over Christmas, saying that she wasn't surprised I get colds, as dust breeds germs. I am thinking about getting one of those "tidiness teams" (or whatever they call themselves) in to blitz the house, then take over from there. Sometimes I wish I'd lived in the times when people had a maid! :-[ :sigh:
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I've gone the other way! Having work done on the house at the moment and got plans for more. I lie in bed planning my next move! Could you get a cleaner for a few hours a week?
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Lucky you, to be the opposite, littleminnie! Unfortunately Hubby won't let me have a weekly cleaner. He said a while back we can't afford one. :'( Maybe I should insist on getting some help, especially as things are slightly better now, anyway. I just want to wake up each morning to a gleaming, fresh house that is nice to be in.
Someone please tell me I'm not the only one to find housework such a challenge just now.
D.
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I know what you mean my house is small so doesn't take too much cleaning but I spend ages trying to get motivated don't know why really just can't seem to get motivated at all ATM, would come and help you if you were in the north east think I need a challenge to get my atse into gear, take care xx
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I am in the NE, nicros, and that's a really kind offer, but I don't want to put upon anybody. Actually, since I posted this, I've hoovered the lounge, ditto the hall, tidied away a pile of books that were threatening to take over my side of the bed, ordered sticky pads (for Monsieur le Mouse), tidied the kitchen.......and done some practicing on my home organ console (I know - priorities!). I just wish I could keep this all going!! When I feel slothful and apathetic (like today) it's well-nigh impossible, then I look around me and feel even worse. I wonder if making a short daily list would help.............?
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I am the same the ironing piles up around me my husband ended up doing it yesterday and it took him 2 hours I cant face the ironing. I have always bee tidy but am so exhausted with meno i do the basics now and when feel bit more energetic i do a bit extra, I try to break it down into small parts such as vacuum lounge dust it mop floor, then few days later tackle a bedroom its the only way I can cope or I feel overwhelmed by it.
Dulciana and Nicros i too live in the north east i have often wondered if there was a way ladies could get together now and the as a sort of support group but im not sure how it would work xx
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Does everyone live in the NE? Lol. If it overwhelms you Dulciana, make a list and just do what's on your list. Write down all the jobs that want doing and divide them by 7. That way you can keep on top of the chores. (Sorry if I sound bossy). X
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I'm the same Dulciana, for me though it's all to do with my "can't be bothered" meno state of mind. Never used to be like this.
Eventually I manage to move myself to do chores/housework but never work with vigour, just drag myself around. For me it's a symptom of something wider in the 'can't be bothered' lethargy, eg. I can't be bothered to speak on phone for hours, wardrobe has got into a bit of a mess etc, want to do yoga but can't find a class etc etc.
Lately I've been buying lots of Dettol anti-bac wipes etc and using those for quickness - previously I was opposed to wipes as they're bad for the environment but somehow I've conveniently forgotten about that.
Hope we all feel more motivated in the Spring with more light to stimulate the brain.
Night_Owl
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Ditto for me too. I just can't be bothered to do housework. I feel if it is tidy, then I can let the dusting and hovering slide a bit. I did get an all-over clean before Christmas. First time I had got that done. My house did not look all that much different but still worth the money I think. When I was working, I did the whole house on a Sunday morning but not nowadays when my time is my own. I think it is a measure of getting older. And when we are really old, it will matter even less as we won't be able to see the dirt!
Bramble
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Thanks so much for your helpful replies, ladies. Makes me feel a lot better and that I'm not alone in this. You've given me some great ideas and I'm going to act on them.
Thanks :thankyou:
D.
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You are not alone. I have a lazy streak, now compounded because DH takes me out and about a lot. Our house is dirty in places so we 'set too' occasionally, I would be ashamed for people to walk round :-[ .......... however much I do clean there are always corners that get missed because I don't have time. I try to do skirting boards once a month, DH hoovers every 6/7 days up and down; I am in charge of the dishwasher/laundry ........ we share the gardening; bathroom floor once a week with one of those cleaning wipes from a packet (which goes into landfill :-\ ) ...........
Ask for help around the house?
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It would be lovely to be able to meet up with other women in the NE. As I am slightly older than most of my friends and started peri 2 years ago at 44 so don't have anyone locally to talk to who has started the meno. I live in County Durham if anyone wants to meet up :D
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I have become lazy also re housework, I used to almost have OCD with it in my younger years. I write a list at the beginning of the week, and tick it off as I go if I feel better on one day I do the worst jobs then.
I go for a five mile walk every morning, and the walk gives you the feel good factor for a while, so I try to do the jobs as soon as I get in. I then go for another half hour walk in the pm, and do jobs when I get back as the exercise does seem to give me a kick up the backside. The dogs have never slept so well. ;D
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I tackle things when I get back from dog walks too. What sort of dogs do you have? I have lurchers x
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I reckon we just get to a point in our lives where we can see that there is more to what life we have left than dusting and hoovering. If others in my house don't like it then they can do it!
Taz x
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I'm glad that I'm not the only woman out there that has been overcome with meno laziness! i find everything gets overwhelming and when I get home from work and taking the kids to their various activities, I am exhausted! There is so much clutter building up and I can't seem to get the focus to get to it!
I am trying to organize a cleaning blitz with my kids and hubby but something always seems to come up! I am able to get the basic stuff (Laundry, dishes) done everything else just sits. :(
I keep saying to myself that my HRT will start working soon and that I'll get to it when that happens!
Karen
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Off to make a chores list in my thread ….
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I have a Westie and a Border Terrier. Housework really has become the enemy.
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I'd rather walk the terriers than do housework ;) ….. making the most of any gaps in the rain!
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Bizarrely when I worked 4 days a week, I was really organised re. housework, now I work one day a week and I'm pretty apathetic about it, and I loathe ironing so treated myself to a pressure steam iron in the sale and it certainly makes light work of ironing, just have to make sure I have the window open as it gets pretty, well, steamy ::) not good when one is hot flushing !
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Unfortunately Hubby won't let me have a weekly cleaner. He said a while back we can't afford one.
Someone please tell me I'm not the only one to find housework such a challenge just now.
D.
Dulciana - Lots of us find housework a challenge you are not alone.
If your OH isn't keen on paying for a cleaner, will he do his bit and help clean the house himself?
Does he know about the mice, I assume he is the one emptying the traps?
Anyway, if he isn't helping, cut to the chase and sort something out yourself.
My OH didn't like having a cleaner in when I stopped working, but to give him his due, he is far better at cleaning, than I or the last cleaner ever was. Point out you need help, wherever it comes from.
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Dare I say I haven't ironed for ten years , out of the washing machine, good shake on the washing line, air in the airing cupboard. The linen, creased look is the fashion. My husband irons his own work shirts, and NOTHING else ever gets ironed. :)
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The only items which get ironed are linen shirts ........ unless we are going 'posh' ;)
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I have told my lot that when I die to make sure they put an iron in the coffin with me or I will have nothing to do when I get to wherever I am going ;D
I iron for us and also my mother so it's a bit like the Forth Road Bridge....never ends.
I have tried not too but I don't like the crumpled look which is how my stuff manages to end up.
I don't mind housework as long as I can keep up to date by just doing a few things every day.
It's the big jobs that daunt me.
We are needing to decorate the kitchen and I am dreading it although at one time I would have done it on my own while hubby was away and looked after two kids as well.
Is it an age thing or a meno thing or because I now have to look after mum as well. I suspect a combination of all three.
Honeyb
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I could have written that myself Dulciana! I always find I'm better when people come and visit as that prompts me into action! I have signed up to receive daily emails from this site which really helps from a motivational point of view:
http://www.flylady.net/
I think its the perfectionism coming into play, in that we want everything clean and tidy immediately but its exhausting thinking about doing it. This site helps you with putting a few routines into place which seems to magically help without putting in too much effort!
Also, asking other members of the family to do certain jobs can help - you shouldn't be expected to do everything yourself!
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"different personality types" - that'll do me nicely, :thankyou:
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And me! My twin sister's the opposite - she gets her ironing done (I hate ironing), hoovers, won't sit down until the dishes are washed by hand (I moan about taking them out of the dishwasher!) etc.etc. Mind you, she doesn't know what a hot flush feels like.
I definitely think personality types come into it. I'm much happier sorting out the notes in a piece of music than doing the house work! :-[ So it probably serves me right. I do still hanker after a sort of Ideal Home home, though, so maybe where there's a will, there's a way............
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Maybe when the Sun shines again it will make you feel energised - if only because it shows up the dust!
try some High intensity exercise that gets you going. If everything is reasonably clean neat and tidy I feel so much better than when it isnt. Possibly see if someone could come in once a month to have a blitz on certain areas of the house , if someone else is in cleaning it makes me do more as you dont feel its all just down to you and I cant sit with my feet up while someone else does the work. :D I like to break things down and do little bits all the time,sometimes it just doesnt happen and the paper/book/walk is more interesting but then so be it.
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Yes, you're right, although I think that when the sun shines again, the dust it shows up will make me feel more guilty than energised!
There are so many helpful suggestions in this thread that really I have no excuse. I think my motto from now on has to be "I can, I will, I must"! I need to get back to my tidiness-loving self and not let it slide again.
Thanks everyone for being so helpful.
Dulciana
:thankyou:
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I think the best motto is the Nike one - 'Just do it'! Easier said than done though!
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Yep - that's what I say to the rest of my household ;D ;D
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;D
"Make it so" - Jean Luc Picard ......... sadly, it still don't happen without imput from me ;D
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The other thing I do is to leave my specs off - everything looks wonderful!
Taz x
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Leaving specs off / lenses out is definitely good for a sense of well being.
Bright sunlight is disastrous, as it shows dust and grime.
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Haha re leaving specs off!
Trouble is before I go off working I put eye-make up with magnifying mirror (obvs no specs!) and the other day I just put them on to see what I looked at and well - there were various black smudges from where I'd missed a bit! It all looked fine with the naked eye but I suddenly saw what others might see as I usually leave in a bit of a hurry...
Now I try to remember to put my specs (used for close work only) on just before going out and when inspecting any part of my body including lip hair!!!!!
As for housework - well the dust arrives the day after it is cleaned so once it's there, no point in doing it too often - life's too short!!! ;D
Yes dulciana - sorting out music better than housework - it's not really that important ( except basic kitchen and bathroom) and yes Stellajane - rather talk about meno & HRT in my limited spare time than housework!!!
We're quite untidy (too busy to be tidy really) but husband is worse than me so he gets quite put out when I start to clear up his stuff!
Hurdity x
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It makes life interesting!
D.
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It's on - my drive to get back into doing the housework! The sun's not yet shining and exposing every little bit of dust etc., and I've still managed to get started with a vengeance. I'll have beaten the sun to its game when it does decide to come out (if it ever does.....)! One room a day (when the day allows). And it's nearly coffee time!
10 mins later - just washed my hands so that I can have a bit of cake with my coffee - has anyone tried Fairtrade's olive soap? It's very plain-looking and fudge-coloured, but it's incredibly soothing and gentle to use. I'd recommend it as a post-housework hand treat (followed by hand cream, of course!).
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Well done dulciana.
When I'm at work I sometimes think about getting home and having a right old go at the housework but, then, when I walk in through the front door that feeling suddenly disappears and it still doesn't get done.
Thanks for the soap tip.
Taz x ;D
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I've had to do lots of washing this week - I have wiped surfaces to within an inch of their coating - floors are next! We cleared our dining room and found the table :o so that's been polished today …… time for :cupcake:
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I hope you enjoyed your cake, CLKD - you certainly deserved it!
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:thankyou: :bounce: utility room fall washed, white goods cleaned down with anti-bacterial wipes; tomorrow is bedroom floors so must re-acquaint myself with the hoover-thingy ;D
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I would love to use a bar of soap but just the thought makes my knees go funny. I just can't hold a solid bar of soap.
I was so happy when liquid soap came along. It stopped me having to grit my teeth umpteen times a day.
I must be soapaphobic ;D
Honeyb
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That's a new one, Honeybun! :)
D.
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Oh errr - soap can have a strange texture as well as odd smell - I'm using the one my sister gave me for my (60th) birthday and don't know yet if I like the perfume in it ......... ::) maybe you had bad experience in the bath when your Mum lost the soap it the water and was scrabbling round for it ;)
Walked down the village for the papers and medication. Back now, wondering whether I can be bothered with the Hoover :-\
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It's just the feel of it, slimy slippery ooo heck just horrible.
Don't remember being bothered by it when I was a child, it's just sort of grown over the years when now even the thought of it makes me shudder.
I have an antique bar of Chanel soap that hubby bought me years ago. I tried really hard to use it but not even that could make me.
Nowt so odd as folk ::)
Honeyb
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I have a bottle of Chanel NO5 which my late Uncle gave me when I was 15. I was going to open it on my 21st but it still sits in a drawer!
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I think the smell will have gone now CLKD. :)
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It will smell of something but not Chanel I suspect ;D
Honeyb
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It has probably evaporated by now …….. must fish the bottle from the drawer :D
Little housework done here today, been out and about ……..