Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: nicros on January 15, 2014, 11:21:44 AM
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Hi I am new on here, I am a 46 year old married mum of 2 lovely kids. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for a while now but since the peri menopause crept up on me I have been feeling worse. I have no confidence, take everything to heart feel useless and on edge all the time. Started on Elleste duet 1mg hrt last month and it is slowly starting to work, I am not crying as much and have more energy. I find the progesterone tablets make me feel bad still but Dr says I need to give it 3 months before my review. I just hate the emotional side of the menopause I hardly dare even drive now as I feel on edge and feel inadequate to drive which is ridiculous. Just wanted to know how other women have dealt with this side of thing, thanks for reading this. :)
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Hey lovely
I have had feelings like this too. i have taken ellestte duel 1mg and 2mg and had the down days with the progesterone part of the HRT...
Now I have an appy for Mirena on Friday and to continue on 2mgs of Oestrogen to top up.....look at all you achieve each day however small and those lovely children you talk of...go girlie we can be strong....I am '51 with two teenagers still at home and a relationship in tatters....
Sending hugs lovely and smiles...
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Thanks for your reply, I still do do things and go out but I'm finding these feelings really isolating as most of my friends are younger than me and I'm the only one having the menopause so have no one to compare notes with. This is a great site and reading experience had made me realise these feelings are normal just find them a bit overwhelming on progesterone days. Did go through a rough patch with hubby when I didn't know what was wrong with me and he got the brunt of it. Good luck with the mirena I had one before my ablation when I was 41. Haven't had a period for last 5 years so maybe my Dr might increase the dose as still getting lots of night sweats which he said should stop with these hrt. Just learning to cope with a different me. Kids are great they are 11 and 13 and just say 'mum can't help it ...she's just having the menopause'. Thanks for taking time to reply, sorry to hear about your relationship take care. :)
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Make a list in the evening of chores that are required next day then tick them off. You will be surprised at how much you DO achieve ;)
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Thanks I will try that x
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Hey Nicros
Please don't compare yourself to younger mum's hun...We older mum's I am almost 51 and have a 15 year old girl,16 year old lad and older lad 22.....as we have made enormous achievements in our life and give out children and wealth of experience and patience too......my family haven't quite got the grasp of menopause but I keep trying with them ....
Sending you love and hugs xxxx
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Every night tell yourself what has been great about today.....I do it now and it helps. Bit strange at first but really makes you think about you and YOU are great ! X
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Hi Nicro, I feel the same as you having anxious thoughts and stop myself from doing things because of anxiety. Take heart that you are asking for support as I hid my hormonal anxiety from everyone for two years now. I think that is awesome that your kids have an understanding of peri! I found ways to avoid the situations I was afraid of, not ideal I know. I am starting to open up and share what is going on and that has helped tremendously. Keeping it a secret has made me feel like an outsider with my family and friends. Other things that have helped are yoga, CBT, walking, gratitude journal, reading works by David Burns and Edmond Bourne, being on this site, another site called Super Better, L'theanine and Kava. I am working on hormone balancing with my GP and naturopath right now, so time will tell. Also, I challenge myself around the driving piece, driving is something I love, so you can imagine how bizarre it was to me that I became anxious about driving - I challenge that anxious thought a lot! Hang in here and give yourself a hug for coping with the "different you" the best you can! You helped me as well!
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I found that not putting myself under pressure helped, i.e. I would shop when it was quiet, I would buy only what was required then go home so that the anxiety didn't take hold. I never let our cupboards go 'bare' of essentials so that I don't back myself into a corner of having to shopping 'today' .........
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Thanks for all the help full replies. I have been on hrt 2 months now but its the lowest dose and doesn't seem to be doing much. My Psychiatrist has suggested the Dr may increase the hrt dose to help with my anxiety and depression. He has given me some Diazepan to keep in the house in case I have a very bad anxiety attack and cannot calm down. He said that women who suffered depression and anxiety before meno feel much worse for the first 2 years of peri and it will settle which is a relief. Am walking the dogs 3 hours a day, going to bed earlier and eating healthily which is helping. Waiting to see a new CBT counselled too as mine went off I'll and haven't had one for 4 months now so have struggled as have no support other than OH. Will try things you have all kindly suggested, thanks for helping me to not feel alone. Have started writing things down a lot and this is helping x
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Hi Nicros, I understand everything you say my confidence has gone down & the anxiety/low feeling has gone up! I have got to the stage where I am not going out much so do keep going out even if it is little & often as it can become a habit as I have found. I am 51 & my kids are 8, 9 & 25. They know I have a poorly tummy that is all.
I have started working again (from home) & that has helped the confidence. I also find that being how I was pre all this like having a shower every day, styling my hair, make up, clothes etc helps rather than sitting in my pj's all day. Don't get me wrong its just leggings & a top & to be honest my mascara has now dried up due to lack of use & I can't find my blusher ha but it does help. Keep a journal too then you can look back on the good days & write down when you take your diazepam so you can connect it with triggers. Big hugs B x
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Hi nicros,
I can relate to your thread and send you a :bighug:
I too have suffered from depression and anxiety and OCD since childhood.
At the moment I'm going through a bad spell of all 3.
Keep posting.
You will get lots of support on here like I do.
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Thanks for your reply, yes I have OCD too but forgot that one with my meno memory. I seemed to cope much better before the meno but all my reactions and emotions seem exaggerated. Hate feeling like this feel like everyone is out to get me and can see how vulnerable I am x
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I didn't find anxiety or depression worse during this time, I think they come with the territory. It ain't called 'the change' for nowt ::)
Try not to plan too far ahead and don't look further than half a day at a time. Make that list in the evening. Most things can be put onto the next day if you don't achieve! Give yourself some slack.
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Hi Nicro :bighug:
I have been suffering from anxiety and depression as well. I had no experiences with it before menopause though! I find it helps to plan ahead and make lists as well! I have surrounded myself with wonderful friends who won't let me back out of plans I make with them! I also have found exercise very helpful and have found my symptoms are much worse on days when I don't exercise at all.
Hope you feel better soon!
Karen
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Thanks Karen, I have 2 really supportive friends but one HSS gone back to work an unfortunately the other one has a seriously I'll daughter ATM so I don't get to see her much now. We speak on the phone everyday but as she spends most of her time at the hospital I don't get to see her everyday like we used to. Have really missed the company as we kept each other going. My dogs are great company though and I take them out for hours which helps. Just find I have some days where I feel very isolated so rely on this site a lot thanks for your reply, hope you cope OK too x
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Tell us more about your dogs?
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Hi mama karen I second the exercise thing. When I was at my worst with anxiety, I would go to the gym every single day - it was exhausting! Since I started hrt though my anxiety has massively reduced, so maybe getting the right dose is key! I also have lorazepam which I now rarely use, but it's a godsend for those really bad days....
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Suzyq I think that's what I take on an emergency basis - wouldn't survive without and knowing I have it to hand ;)
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I agree clkd. Just knowing you have it is enough that you don't have to take it!! Like a comfort blanket. Worst thing is at I had it for 4 months before I dared take 1 - after I took my first one I was like 'wow' I feel completely normal! Have only had 5 in total in a year so no worries about addiction!
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Thanks for your replies x. Well I have 2 dogs both lurchers, Jess is 7 had her from a pup and Ollie is 3 and a rescue with lots of issues due to being beaten and attacked by other dogs on the streets where he was found. That are great company and have a good hours run in the field near us every morning then a couple of shorter walks later. They sleep in between and are quite lazy. I also walk another rescue and I'm trying to build this up to make some money. Don't know how I would manage without them, well off to walk my friends dog now wrapping up well as its -1 up here in the north east.x
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I fancy a pair of lurchers (don't tell DH ;) ) ....... but not in our camper van on a muddy day ;D
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Yes I spend most of my time mopping up ATM, if only I could get them to wear doggie wellies lol x ;D
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What about a doggy bag which zips up, they shake the mud off - apparently ;D
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Good idea lol ;D
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I don't think our spaniel would have liked it much but they can be found in pet stores or make your own?
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Ollie might wear them but Jess won't let me near her feet so not so sure it would work.
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My dog goes out in a illuminous(sp) bright pink dog jumper with a pink colour, poor dog is a boy. I would be lost without my dogs as they make me get up and go out, twice a day whatever the weather. They don't argue and always agree with what I say. :)
Until March last year I had a horses for ten years, the last one was PTS so that life style stopped abruptly as that was a great mood lifter, but it was financially draining so I have given up for good.
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It's amazing what pets can do to improve out overall moods and piece of mind! I couldn't live without mine! ;D
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My dogs are much more polite and better behaved than my OH and kids.x