Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kathleen on December 18, 2013, 07:32:21 PM
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Good evening ladies.
Do any of you find it really difficult to put up with people at the moment? I was talking to a friend earlier and we were both saying how intolerant and impatient we are with other people, we couldn't decide whether it was an age thing or hormonal. We both agreed that we find social situations hard to handle but even strangers in the street irritate us ( for example today I saw someone dropping litter and wanted to scream at her, I didn't of course, I bottled it up which is probably why I have anxiety issues ).
My friend put it down to being middle aged but I think the edginess that comes with the menopause also plays a part.
So, silly question I know, but if it is true for any of you ladies how do you deal with it? Scream, count to ten, look the other way? These intense feelings worry me a bit and it would be interesting to know how others cope.
Best wishes to you all.
K.
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Yep - there's a thread here somewhere and don't get me started on NOISE :-X (there's a thread about that too ::) )
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I have to bite my tongue a lot, especially with strangers. Scared of the consequences I'm afraid. I have a friend who gives the offending person the truth with both barrels though.
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Since I came off HRT a couple of months ago I'm definitely more snippy and intolerant - unfortunately my poor husband is mainly baring the brunt - I'm having to work really hard not to fly off the handle. DG x
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I am very intolerant too. I can feel myself getting worked up on the phone, in the street and at the post office, the man there is particularly rude and never says please or thank you. I don't know if it's hormonal or age or maybe just expecting to be treated like you treat ppl. But I do know I am very intolerant ATM and the slightest thing works me up.
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Absolutely and its really bad, we have an old family friend who often pops in for a visit and I was just commenting to my husband the other day about how much this person irritates me to the point that I find I am going to be rude, he just laughed it off but really, I feel my blood pressure rising, and its not just this person, I tend to avoid people more and more as I have become so intolerant :(
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Good morning ladies and so helpful to know it isn't just me.
I'm sure in the past my irritability was balanced by a period of calm but nowadays I seem to be in a bad mood all day long.
Oh well, onwards and upwards I suppose.
Hoping everyone has a good day today.
Take care.
K.
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I mutter almost all the while ::) and of course, I invented Road Rage ;)
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I work with the public and used to love my job but over the past few years I've began to feel that I need to get away from THEM - the General Public I mean. We get a lot of lovely customers but I'm afraid even some of the nice ones can be VERY ANNOYING ::) to my mind at least. As for the rude, ignorant ones and the ones who don't pay any attention to what their darling children are up to >:( well, don't get me started.
Things had got so bad that, as I say, I was wondering how I could continue. But with the job market the way it is, and the money and hours being favourable, I decided that I had to do something about myself, since nothing else is likely to change. So now I put on a trolley dolly smile, am EXTREMELY polite, and feel a lot better. Dont laugh but being SO VERY POLITE makes me feel superior and good about myself ;D. The mask does slip sometimes, like today I was working with somebody who hasnt been doing the job for long and she kept asking me questions and making mistakes.......luckily we have been given 5 boxes of chocolates and 2 boxes of biscuits by some of the nicer clientele so I just went out to the back room and awarded myself a choc every time she got on my nerves. Must admit I do like a certain amount of silence and time to myself to think and having somebody witter at me for hours was a bit blimmin much. Last week we had a wailing baby and an overactive toddler in for at least 3 hours. I had to go and sit in the back room eventually as I thought I would explode. Ditto, toys that make a noise - arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! People tapping away on their smart phones playing games that go "ping" and "ding". Oooooooooooooooooh, I just want to do violent things to them AND their smart phones.
I'm a nice person really :)
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With me at the moment, it's not so much people intolerance as people indifference - I can't be bothered with the effort of making much conversation, feeling quite anti-social. I'm feeling really tired all the time just now though, so maybe that's to blame - really need some good lie-ins during my xmas and new year hols. Watch this, given the chance, I won't be able to :bang:
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I too find people in general irritating. The thing I dislike most about how I react to people these days is my diminishing sympathy! There's a few people who I just want to tell to get a grip and stop whining :-X
And don't get me started on key-tones on mobile phones - why did the phone manufacturers think it was necessary to make the things click, boop or beep when you press a key!!!!!
There's one person in my office who has irritated me on and off for years .... these days, even her typing gets on my nerves! She's one of those people who almost never pronounces a 't' in a word (just plain lazy - it's nothing to do with an accent of any type) and I just want to slap her!!
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Thank god, thought it was just me. I walk down the street muttering away to myself about the people who drive through the red lights, cut in front of me at the bus stop and don't even get my started on my 15 year old hormonal daughter. I find red wine helps - a lot!
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It's my family that get to me. The noises they make when they are eating. The sniffing or coughing they do or the shuffling of the newspaper on the table.... - just really gets to me!
Taz x
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Ditto Taz, noisy eating does get to me. ::)
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Don't reply very often i also hate noisy eaters and people who eat with their mouth open and my OH has a friend who calls 2 c him and is constantly complaining about everything he drives me insane OH says just ignore him Arggggggggh easier said than done.
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Nose blowing and loud voices really make me want to SAY SOMETHING. Why oh why do men do it so loudly.
Honeyb
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And don't forget the constant throat clearing for no reason.
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And SULKING, Oh and being moody for no apparent reason.
You can tell I am having a good night ;D
Honeyb
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Don't get me started on nose blowing, hubby's world champ. Tissues then rolled in a ball tossed in toilet, then doesn't flush. Result - they swell up & then I go to use loo, flush & guess what the Loo's blocked. Of course I get to don my marigolds to unblock it! Grrrrrrr However, think he's got the message now. The noise he makes blowing his hooter too, blimey it would wake the dead!
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There was a lot of it around last night, we very nearly separated.......
Didn't but it was close :o
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OH downstairs watching football, I cannot stand the sound of the demented football commentators, there lots I want to do but have escaped up
stairs to the computer room. ::)
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Better day today. Last night was dire. Went to bed hardly talking because I was fed up with nose blowing loud talking sniffing huffy MEN. ;D ;D
Heck wonder what they would say about us.
Honeyb
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They say "you seem very glum" followed by "have I upset you?"
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Yours might, mine don't seem to notice much although I was asked this morning if I was still on my patches as I seemed very nippy.
I really could have thumped him.
The thought he might be in the wrong never ever occurs ;D
Honeyb
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Jings almost sounds as bad as "It's PMT" though I have to admit my hubby has never ever thrown that one at me, for which I am very grateful.
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The older I get the more I hate queues. I leave for work extra early so I don't have to queue. I can't stand queuing in shops either. Never used to bother me.
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I don't normally mind queues as there's usually someone to chat to - it's amazing what you can find out bout someone from a queue chat.
My day has taken a downturn - golf has been rained off so there is an extra person getting in my way - bless him!
Taz x
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I don't mind a queue if the person behind keeps a reasonable distance. It's when you can feel their breath on the back of your neck that I start to get ratty. I have been known to ask them not to stand so close ;D
Honeyb
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Was that me? ;D ;D ;D
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I certainly hope not Taz as you would have got what my kids call "the killer look". ;D
I have been told its a really good one.
Honeyb
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Also meant to say being short does not help. Sometimes people breath on your head :o
Now I know that couldn't be you Taz ;D
Honeyb
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If you find someone breathing on you between your shoulder blades then it might just be me - not in the summer though when the days are far too long!
Taz x :D
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Mine takes large mouthfuls of food then chews for ages ....... or gets something down the 'wrong' way and coughs, followed by a few sneezes ...... if I even hint, i.e. "it's said that men eat larger bits of food as they age" or "I cut up smaller pieces to eat these days" he looks at me like 'what are you on about' - well tonight I will be very open with my comments i.e. 'cut your grub up smaller :cuss: '
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Hi I too am becoming intolerant
I have been a nurse for 31 years and patience is my middle name. Now my OH accused me of being rude, paranoid and often angry....hey excuse me we have two teenagers at home and OH you don't help at all.......He cleaned the bathroom for the first time today in 18 years! still has the floor to do but is out on his motor bike........says it all
So OH I am being assertive to the best of my ability whilst inside I crumble every day with anxiety and feel and this menopause stuff.........your help would have been nice instead we seek divorce.....lets hope his next woman can handle him better LOL xx
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Sorry to hear about your problems Maggies. Men generally don't understand meno problems. There is an advice sheet you can print off to let him read.
My hubby has not cleaned our bathroom in 29 years but on the other hand I have not changed a tyre or fixed the car ;D. He does try to help in his own way and although he can say some insensitive things he is always there for a cuddle if I need one.
Honeyb
x
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Aw Maggie's :bighug:
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Mine has said today that he finds it all so frustrating as he can't see what he can do to help. I have to agree with him there unless he can miraculously transform himself into an HRT patch or we can suddenly afford to live separately.
Mine have never cleaned the bathroom either - either husband or sons - and I stopped cleaning the shower a few months ago as I always have a bath and never use the shower and they use it every day but never clean it. You can guess what state it's in now.
Taz x
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At least they don't mess up your bath ;)
My man would never think to clean the bath/loo/floors ……. but he's nifty with the Hoovery-thingy and helps if asked. Men are not Mind Readers and often need pointing: several times: in the 'right' direction ::) ……… if mine went out on his hobbies without taking part in the household chores then he would be employing a cleaner ;)
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It's all a case of give and take I guess. Mine has never really gone for household chores but then again he has always worked much longer hours than I have. He does the garden though which is something I would never do. It can turn into a jungle for all I care. I never notice either when he has done something such as planting up the tubs or mowing the grass and I lost count of the number of times he would get in from work around 8 on a summers evening to totally wilted tubs or hanging baskets. I can go past them all day and not notice! This is the same as him not noticing when I have tidied up or cleaned or also not noticing that something in the house needs doing. I guess we can be blind to that which doesn't interest us!
Taz x :xmas:
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Mine needs pointing in the right direction. He does make lunch a few times a week and always does Sunday dinner.
He never notices if the house needs a dust or the bed needs changing. It would never occur to him. Then again I never think of checking the oil in the car and all the rest of that kind of thing so I guess we are equal.
Honeyb
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