Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: CLKD on October 03, 2013, 10:11:09 AM
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The young girl asked me recently 'what's it like to be your age?' ..........
I would like to return to the day I first went out with the man who became my husband - 25th Feb. 1970 :-* that way I would avoid the panic attacks which caused deep fear, the interview anxitieis, the niggling worry .......
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I'm the happiest I've ever been here and now.
I don't want to go back because I had mental health problems and now I'm diagnosed properly and treated I want to stay here.
BUT- if I had to pick an age ;D it would be 29 when I married my OH and was pregnant with my first son. We met at 17. :)
If I hadn't met my husband my life wouldn't have been as happy.
He has done so much for me. :)
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Who is to say that anything would be different. Perhaps even with life experience that unless we could change our personalities we would not be exactly the same.
If I could go back it would be about 15 years when my kids were small and life was busy and fun.
Same hubby same kids same choices.
Honeyb
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Not sure I'd want to be different age, but a younger body would be good. One free from aches & pains.
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I would go back to 16 and make totally different life decisions!
Taz x
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But would you Taz. The type of person you are is what influenced the decisions you made.
Unless we went back with the knowledge we have now the chances are we would do the same things all over again.
Honeyb
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Ah yes - I suppose you are right. It just seems I have wasted most of my life to be honest and time is running out now!!
If I had to choose an age then from my "lived" past it would be 19 - just married with no children and not much money but so many possibilities in the future to look forward to.
Taz x
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I wouldn't change my current situation for anything. It took a long time to finally get together with (and marry) a man I first met nearly 30 years ago, and I couldn't be happier but if I could turn back the clock and still have the life I have today, i'd go back to being in my thirties, when I was 2 stone lighter and had no wrinkles!!
Deb x
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I loved it when my kids were young. I guess I felt needed and useful.
I am struggling with the "now". Kids still about sort of but I am not involved any more. I have been an active mum for many years and am now struggling to find direction and purpose. It sounds a bit sad to be honest but it's the way I feel. I want to get the most out of these years. It's a bit of my own fault because I have let friendships slide and now I have to start again which is hard.
Anyway, that's not the question that was asked. Sorry.
Honeyb
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I understand how you feel Honeybun even though it's not how I feel myself. I can see that I gradually upped my working life as they began to spread their wings more until by the time they left my work and social life was greater than the caring for them life if that makes sense. You have enjoyed being "all family" for a long time but now you have to find something to fill a big space. I'm sure that it will get easier as time goes on and you find something that you want to do. You also have the added pressure of your mum's care. Go easy on yourself and pat yourself on the back that you have raised two children who are happy and confident enough to make their way into the world.
Taz x
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Thanks Taz, nice to know you understand.
Honeyb
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It is because you have been such a good mum that they are able to spread their wings honeyb. It's difficult to let them go though.....I struggle too !
Deb x
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Id like to be the person i was before i started having panic attacks they have made my life very small and i have not lived at all. so that would be 23.
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No matter their age it's hard to let go. Mine are nearly 33 & 28 & though they have both spread their wings I still find it hard. A bit easier nowadays as we have two grandchildren, but we mainly only see them on Skype. Oldest one already reckons it's not cool to speak to her grandparents. Hey ho. Life goes on.
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26 was good for me - pregnant with first child and working beside girls I really liked.
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For me it's now. I have a job I love, my health is okay on the whole, I don't have to worry about periods any more and my marriage and sex life are ticking along nicely. If only my children would acknowledge the fact that they are now grown-up and need to move out things would be even better. The only clouds on the horizon are impending retirement and ageing, both of which I know I can't put off indefinitely, so I must make the most of now.
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So pleased for you BOB :-*
Think I would like to go back to before my parents died in 2000, I still felt like a girl then, then I became an orphan and a grownup and started worrying about my health and motility.
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So nice to read your post BOB. You sound contented which is lovely.
Honeyb
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<wave> BOB!
I think as our parents die we are the next generation as it were ...........