Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: ariadne on August 22, 2013, 08:59:11 PM
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Does anyone else find it more and more difficult to stay feeling feminine? There are so many things that make me feel unfeminine and I sometimes wonder what on earth I would look like if I stopped trying.
Hairy chin with strong white beard hairs to pull out every day
Moustache to deal with. Since I bought a high strength magnifying mirror I am shocked at just how hairy my top lip is-and I never realised!
The odd white eyebrow - yes really :o
Even some white pubic hairs
Pubic hair growing further down my leg than it used to
Middle age spread that just gets bigger and bigger despite my healthy diet
Blonde hair turned silver
Crepey skin
Wrinkly hands
Dried up lady bits
Too many visits to the loo, especially at night. I worry about disturbing others if we stay away from home.
There's so much to deal with every day. Don't get me wrong - there's not much else wrong with me and for that I'm extremely grateful but I still would like to feel feminine. I think if I were to let a couple of things slide I'd soon be on the slippery slope to old cronesville.
ariadne xx
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I know exactly how you feel, I could have written that myself.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother as nobody notices except me.
It's difficult to feel good about yourself when you feel like crap most of the time.
Is it just middle age though. Time to reinvent ourselves for the next chapter....It's just difficult to summon up the energy to bother.
Honeyb
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YepI can totally understand the nobody notices me invisible so why bother feeling, I still try somedays and then think I'm fighting a loosing battle ! Why bother is it worth it ?
Lizzy x
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we just keep going ;) plucking shaving whatever we can, just try our best but i know how you feel, at the minute i hobble around the place like i am 80 not 56, although to be fair i see alot of 80 year olds getting around alot better than me ;D
Just make the best of what we got, can't do much more and accept where we are at now.
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Not doing much about my wobbly bits although I keep saying I will.
But I do go to hairdresser every 6 weeks for a cut and blow dry.
Colour as and when
I get waxed every 5 weeks, moustache, legs and vag.
Nails every few weeks
Trying Pilates at the moment
It all helps make me feel human!!!!
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Hi Anne you do keep up your maintanance, I'm impressed, I can manage a cut and colour when I can't stand to look at my hair anymore, a leg shave when I must, a shower and hair wash daily, and a stuck in a rut make up routine before work, I can't be bothered with new clothes at the minute as hate shopping so stuck in a rut there to ! Oh hum no wonder I'm invisible
Lizzy x
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I'm trying to keep up appearance. Haircut every 5 weeks, shaving legs and other places weekly. Expensive underwear to hold things in place. ;D Do try and dress nicely most of the time. Then comes the evening and I let it all hang loose. Best feeling of the day! ;D
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Oh yes, the joggy bottoms and sloppy jumper and fluffy sock look that evening brings and the hope no one comes to the door ;D
Honeyb
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Maintenance is the way, day in and day out, for yourself no one else. If you feel good the world will notice!
http://zestnow.com/view/style/beauty/417/6-Anti-Aging-Secrets-of-French-Women.html
I do practise what I preach :)
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I totally agree
I used to do virtually nothing to look good but of course as others have said you need to make an effort the older you get - for yourself I mean - for your own self esteem.
Yes good haircuts
Hair colouring
Keep weight down
Go to exercise classes
Healthy diet
Look after skin
Goodnight's sleep (lucky if you can)
Wear flattering clothes - not frumpy flappy ones
Pluck where necessary ( lucky I don't have much to do here!)
Good posture - pull yourself in to keep muscles strong
HRT
Lift your expression into a smile - and you're ready to go!!!!
I haven't read anything about it - it's just common sense!
I had to show my passport to get an (over 60) age concession the other day!!
Haha honeybun!
I never wear joggy bottoms or fluffy socks and don't have any!!!!!!!
So Ariadne
Don't worry about the white pubic hairs!! I don't care two hoots about mine.
Visits to the loo - are you on HRT or Vagifem or similar - this can help.
Deal with the things you really don't like that are making you feel like this. Concentrate on what you need to do to feel good - even if it involves making some changes - you will thank yourself for it....
Hurdity x
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Good link silverlady
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I have a lovely friend and one day we were out and sat people-watching for a few mins and she said "you will tell me if I ever start looking like a man won't you?" We often laugh about that. ;D ;D What she had observed was older women who wear beige and grey clothes and have their hair cut in short mannish hairstyles.
For what it's worth here are my tips:-
I never buy wishy-washy coloured clothes.
I try and keep fit and do yoga. That keeps me supple and helps my posture.
I once read that poor posture and gait are very ageing.
I do colour my hair but never too dark.
I never wear clothes which are too young for me either.
I have a good skincare regime and never go out without light makeup and perfume.
I have a wide range of friends of all ages - from young Mum neighbours to a lady of 92.
I sometimes remember expressions elderly people used (I worked in that field for about 20 years) like "ornaments are dust gatherers", "I don't like to turn out on winter's nights" and "those shoes look comfy" .... and I AVOID saying them. ;D ;D
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Oops - I just had my hair cut short and I'm wearing a beige top today :oops: I know what you mean about beige people though - it's very noticeable how many elderly people do wear beige - top and bottom. I wonder why? Is it because it goes with everything?
I do go through phases where I am determined to be more groomed and take a bit of time out to pamper myself but then after a week or so, I am back to rushing around in the mornings, dashing to Tesco before work and all my good intentions fall by the wayside and I can't keep up the effort.
I do try not to become a moaner as I think that in itself is very ageing - my husband bless him, sounds just like my Dad when he hears new music or reads out certain articles from the newspaper.
I always put make up on even if I'm not going out and I have always looked after my skin (thanks Mum).
It's all the things that Mother Nature gave me but is now taking away that I find hard to deal with.
ariadne xx
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When I start wearing calf length permanent pleated skirts with Ecco shoes, you'll set me right won't you? ;D
Nothing wrong with either, by the way, just not together. I don't own skirts these days, only dresses & trousers. Body is so not the right shape for skirts of any length, well maybe maxi. Rather wear shoes from Hotter than Eccos. My mum wore Eccos and they looked awful. But she had the most ugly bunions and it was the only thing she could get on her feet eventually.
Oh this getting old malarkey isn't good is it?
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I really do try to look nice. Even if it's just for me although hubby will comment on something if I have made an extra effort. My daughter keeps me on my toes. She has changed the way I dress. I did struggle a bit as I did not want to do the mutton dressed as lamb thing. She seems to have a good eye for what suits. I think it's difficult when you turn 50 to get it right.
I have a good skin care routine and even if I am dying I always cleanse and moisturise at night.
I really watch my weight as I am small and every pound looks like three.
I never go out without a little make-up on and I have a haircut every six weeks.
Still like my joggies for night time though. I have even considered a onesy
;D
Honeyb
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I considered a onesie too. If it gets really cold this winter I might succumb. ;D
My daughter & I have similar dress sense. We live in different parts of the UK and have occasionally bought same jumpers/tops as each other. She's worried she's dressing as an auld wifey & I'm worried I'm dressing as a 30 something. ::)
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I only own one beige thing, a pair of slim fit jeans. I'm going to wear more layers in the Autumn as I'm going to put off putting the heating on for as long as possible, because once it goes on tht will be it. Our fuel bills last winter were ridicules.
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I've got a onesie, and a velour tracksuit ;D
I do have smart clothes too though, time and a place for everything. I dont own a single beige or grey item of clothing.
Get eyebrows, lip and chin threaded every 3 weeks
Shave elsewhere as and when.
Hair cut every 8 weeks (fringe more often) and dye it when needed. I aim for reddish brown, or purply brown :)
Always cleanse and remove make up
Use good quality make up
Eat well, exercise and try to get out in the fresh air daily with dog.
Keep up with the news
Socialise with friends. Think this is one of the most important things you can do.
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I think if I did not work things would slide as I only dress well and wear make up for work or occasional nights out. I sit in the evening in velour bottoms, t-shirt and fleece if cold. I like getting ready for work and wearing perfume, jewellery and a bit of make up, it does make me feel feminine - don't make the same effort at the weekend. I do get my hair trimmed every 6 wks and colour it to keep the grey away. I pluck eyebrows and shave legs, underarms and bikini area. I have plucked moustache for big occasions but don't want to make the fine hairs stronger so am trying to resist now. I only have one beige piece of clothing and it's a sleeveles long jumper which I feel is quite trendy on top of a dark long sleeved top in winter.
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Hello, what are eccos I've never heard of them?
Lizzy
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They are sensible shoes I think.
I don't like sensible shoes...no doubt my feet would but I like ones that look good and kill my feet. ;D
Honeyb
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Add hairy toes to the list of things developing to make me feel less womanly :o :o Oh joy - what next?
ariadne xx
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Ariadne - you mention crepy hands in your opening post. That is currently the 'thing' that is making me feel old! Have you seen what happens to them under a high-powered hand drier such as in public toilets. It makes my hands look like I'm 80 not 50.
Managed to avoid beige to date but do have quite a bit of grey clothing - but that was me trying to avoid wearing too much black and looking like an ageing Goth :D
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Until I looked just now I thought they were old lady, sensible shoes. Now maybe they've progressed over the years, but some are actually not bad. Or maybe I'm turning into an old lady. ;D
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I haven't noticed the hand drier effect and now I'm determined not to look in future! ;D
CG - it's a bit like those little shopping booklets that come in the Sunday papers - I always used to think they were full of rubbish ideas but now I find myself thinking how useful some of those things look ;D
ariadne xx
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;D ;D ;D
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I also make sure I keep up the regime of colouring, plucking, waxing etc. but do like to slob out at weekends with no make-up, hair in upsy, braless (oh the relief...those wires are like torture). I've no idea what the real colour of my hair is anymore but don't want to find out!
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mmmmmmmmm sensible comfy shoes. I wonder if I will EVER feel ready for them ???
Yes, those little magazines ARE full of useful stuff I agree :)
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i didn't feel ready from them but my feet and my pelvic floor did ;D
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Hey - comfy shoes don't have to look sensible though!
I mean I am sure some of you wear canvas type lace-up shoes/pumps in the summer with shorts and cut-offs etc? I think they look quite normal and worn by all ages!
Well - I have some ECCO ones just like this!!!!!! ;D. They look like the converse type canvas ones but in fact are leather with unbelievable soft shaped inner bit so are really really comfy. I bought them in their sale because I got fed up of aching feet when I went on city break type hols - tramping around miles and miles all day on hard ground. They are brill and really I don't look like an old woman in them!!!
Not sure about in winter though....
Hurdity x
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hi all i recently bought a pair of hotter sandals and they are soo comfy and chiropodist says they are good for my feet, so now iv'e bought another pair ;D they are half price in the sale so bargain as well.
They also do lovely pumps with all the comfort but just look like fashion pumps really pretty colours too.
I thought, old lady shoes when i was told about them but if you have a look there are some lovely styles and best of it is you get 90 days to return if they're not suitable for you :)