Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: renee on August 08, 2013, 03:40:38 PM
-
Hi everyone,
I am in absolute awe of this Menopause!!! I absolutely cannot believe how thousands of women are left to feel this awful! I'm flabbergasted as to why more isn't done to help a population of women who go through a really life changing menopause.
I am 47 and have been told my dose of 1mg Climagest is no longer working and I have been increased to 2mg. I have tried alot of remedies etc for this Menopause but it rears its ugly head and Im defeated again!!! Back to square one of sleeping round the clock, forgetting my name and all the other 30 symptoms. I feel Im just left to my own devices, Iv been told there's no Meno clinic now where I live. Sometimes it can make you feel so alone.
Renee xxxx
-
Aw you are not alone in your thoughts. Re meno clinic, keep asking. I had to push for ages before one GP eventually said there was one at our local hospital.
-
Welcome to the forum :)
How long have you been taking the 2mg for? It can take a while to kick in properly.
Taz :welcomemm:
-
Thanks Taz and Cubagirl, I will ask again at my next Doc app about Meno clinic at my nearest Hospital... There must be one!!!
I have just started the 2mg Climagest today, been in 1mg for 7 months.
It's really good to be able to actually speak to people who understand!
Renee. Xxx
-
If you click the link "find a specialist" at the top of the page then you will see what's available in your area.
Mine is 40 miles away. There used to be one at our local hospital but it's been closed down.
We are not important enough to warrant local services.
Honeyb
X
-
Thanks HoneyB, I will have a look.
Renee xx
-
Hi Renee, I totally get where you are coming from, I am going through the same symptoms of this horrible menopause as you are and I'm many other women also.
I have sent you a P.M.
Take care.
-
welcome sweetie
it will pass xxx
-
Amen Suzi...it WILL pass. But you still have to get through it.
God alone knows how women did this journey in the past. They were probably dunked or burned as witches. At least we have some idea WHY one day we literally wake up and feel like we have gone mad. If it's not physical, it's mental. Sore back. Aching hips. Blood - either flooding, or not there. Sweats. Tears. Depression. Manic laughter. Hair loss. Nightmares. Insomnia. Constipation. Dried up.
And yet we still have to do all the things we did before. I have learned to NEVER underestimate the power of the simple hormone.
Hang in there.
-
Maybe call me bitter, but I will never understand how some women can "sail through" meno with hardly any noticeable symptoms, they stay the same and just age slowly and gently. This is the case with many women I've met/know. "Oh, I didn't have any of that" they say.
How on earth can that be when I've turned into a shadow of my former self, totally transformed in a vile way from the top to toe, inside and out, brain function, hair loss, etc etc, the full works.
And all this cr@p started at age 44.
I will never function as I used to before - but others are sailing along the same - ie. still able to work full time in demanding jobs, still sleep 8 hours a night, as they always have ...
And yes, we all have to get accustomed to old age and 'get over' waiting to go back to who we used to be cos it's not gonna happen - but feeling so old and ill at 50 and still having to function in our roles in life and the modern world, is very difficult.
Night_Owl
x
-
I guess it's the same for people who discover they have a terminal illness and yet all their friends are still fit and healthy. There are no plausible reasons as to why it happens to some women and not others. I have a 64 year old friend who has "sailed through" meno but she is plagued with aches and pains, her hair is thinning and her sex life has dwindled to nothing. When questioned she just said "Oh that - well that's just part of getting older isn't it - to be expected". In effect she is not "sailing through" but just seems better able to cope with the changes and adapt to them.
How old are these friends who are still exactly as they were before they went through meno? Maybe they are late meno starters? They could still be afflicted at a later date when you are out the other side and feeling much better :)
Taz x
-
I think a lot of women hide how bad they feel. It's still a bit of a taboo subject for some.
I remember being in a group of about ten women who were ranging in age from mid fifties up to late sixties. This was in my pre HRT days. I had a full blown dripping going red in the face flush. I was busy fanning myself and T shirt flapping trying to cool down and announced I hated this meno thing. You could have heard a pin drop. Not one woman answered me. I was really embarrassed and vowed then never to bring up the subject again.
A lot is hidden.
Honeyb
X
-
The women I'm referring to are 50s/60s, one is in her 70s, says she never had sweats.
A lot of women seem to be competitive and don't like to admit to weakness and meno with all its hideous symptoms = weakness. But how on earth do they hide it. You only have to look at my face to see I haven't had one unbroken night's sleep in c.6 years.
But I have detected a certain 'I'm made of better stuff than you / have more backbone' snooty type attitude from some women.
Think I'll go along with Honeybun's view and never mention the subject, only on here.
If I didn't read these boards and other women's experiences, I would still think (even though meno is obviously not new to me and I'm quite a few years post-m) that I'm a total freak with a sick body.
When somebody innocently says along the lines of - 'oh I had a really bad night's sleep last night, I feel rotten today', ie. just the one.
Me - want to scream: how about having 2,190 consecutive - and counting - bad nights' sleep. See, I've turned into an unreasonable nutcase, I know, I know!
Night_Owl
x
-
You can also get a slightly warped view of meno and think that everyone goes through a bad time by reading all the posts on a forum such as this - women who don't get symptoms (and there are many women who do have an easy time of meno) never consult a forum such as this one because they don't need the fantastic support it offers.
I think that we can all be guilty of feeling stronger than others if we have never experienced the symptoms of a particular condition. I remember feeling that people who didn't want to breastfeed their babies were awful.. until I tried it .. hated it and gave up really quickly. A friend who had older children and hadn't managed to breast feed did tell me afterwards that at last I would realise what it felt like and stop nattering on about how great it was to breast feed. I did feel quite ashamed that I had come across as "holier than thou" in the pregnancy months!! Maybe women who have had a good meno just can't understand how it can affect others - especially if they have never had to read up on all the negative symptoms?
Taz x
-
Sounds like your all as fed up and angry as me!! Our menopause experience has literally changed our lives... Mine for the worst. To be honest I feel bitter and absolutely at the end of my tether having to deal with this so called ' natural change' every day!!!
I was an energetic, outgoing, healthy women before this came along in my early 40's, my kids were grown and now it was time for me....so Iv read in many magazines and books!!!
Now Im anxious, exhausted, dried out, bloated and miserable living this existence of a menopausal life and that's the truth of it and probably how most women who go through a bad menopause really feel
Think Iv said my peace.... Haha.
Renee xx
-
Hi Renee
Like you I am definitely angry and fed up with this change we are going through. I never thought it would be this bad. >:(
I hope you received my private message ok please email me if you would like to.
I am also a completely different person to what I used to be prior the menopause. It is such an effort to get up and get ready for work on some days. I also get extremely tired in the day particularly in the afternoons. The hot flushes really get to me, they are most unpleasant. My face looks like a beetroot when I'm having a hot flush, I get so embarrassed if there is anyone else around.
At least we know that we are not alone we are going through this together and hopefully one we will get back to those people we once were, fingers crossed. :)
-
I wonder if it's a bit like childbirth in that you forget how bad it was once it's all over and that's why some women don't feel they suffered too much? Or it could be a case of getting so used to not sleeping well etc that you forget how it used to be? Or some ladies who do not use a forum like this or have close friends to speak to about it, might not realise that a lot of their symptoms are meno and not just part of getting older?
-
I agree, i dont think some ladies link their symptoms to menopause. I have two sisters in law, one who experienced bad panic attacks and anxiety and couldn't go shopping for years and didn't realise they were probably meno symptoms until i was telling her about the awful time i was having with similar symptoms - she's fine now, just to give us all a glimmer of hope !!.
The other sis in law is the same age as me and has been experiencing depression along with flushes, but didnt think that depression was anything to do with meno.
Its a horrid time but we have to keep positive that the worst of it will come to an end. Chin up :)
Delilah x
-
Lots of support on here , I too have friends who say nothing has changed for them, some of them are quite plump so maybe their estrogen levels dont drop so much, once you get your HRT sorted you will feel a lot more normal, try another brand if the one you are on is not helping, also know lots of ladies on AD's who said they have never suffered so perhaps they have not associated depression or anxiety with menopause symptoms, ::)
-
Some of the most supportive reactions I've had have been from men (family members and friends). I thought they'd be embarrassed by me mentioning the menopause, because there have been times when I've simply had to mention it. Not at all, though. I suppose there's no air of "I can do better than that" from a man, any more than from a male hairdresser. I think if we're going through something like this that has such an impact on our daily lives and ourselves as people, we've every right to talk about it. My late mum never ever mentioned her meno to me our my sister, which makes my mind boggle a bit because there's no way I could keep silent about mine. I don't get up on a soapbox or anything, but it's my everyday reality and I can't just not talk about it. But I won't half be glad to see the back of it!!!!!!!
-
..........just to add on to my earlier post, mentioning meno symptoms (in moderation!) seems to help people understand if I react oddly to a situation.
-
It's interesting Winterose to read your comment about weight and falling estragon levels. I remember my GP in the UK say that thin women had a much harder time with the menopause. I am stick thin after having pancreatitis, due to tiny gallstones getting out and then having my gallbladder removed. I was 6 stone then and have just managed to get to 7 stone, 3 years on. I also feel the cold so badly in winter here in Oz. Doc also mentioned that it's as if the thermostat in your body has broken and it can't adjust. I am sure women who weigh more than me, are also suffering but just wondered if there was a link between weight and severity of meno.
-
I agree that if lots more women were making loud complains things would be different by now - instead even GPs doubt us; Trying to explain feels like hitting a wall – and always gives way to some triumph of other woman who will take an opportunity to demonstrate her superiority. By age of 58 I am sickened by many attitudes I encounter daily. I remember, when I was starting, confused as hell, my ‘best' friend told me that rotten feeling I have is because I don't have a partner – but because she does she feels ok. She was on a bottle of wine per night and antidepressants… Wrrrrr. :-\
Take care sisters! ;)
-
The bit that I am really struggling with is the emotional side of things. I have always been such a strong person and now I am a blubbering mass of tears at the first opportunity, overly sensitive, have absolutely zilch libido and feel neither desirable nor desired, its all such a bloody horrible journey. I look around me and my friends all seem to be coping just fine, but I guess, behind closed doors, we just never know!
-
Cassie,
How about treating yourself to something? I tackled my "not feeling desirable" bit by buying a supply of my favourite skincare products and making sure I use them every single day. It gives me a daily pampering to look forward to and because my skin is now looking better for it, I feel better about myself. The phrase "because you're worth it" comes to mind!
-
I agree, it's worth trying to make an effort just to make yourself feel better. I had a bit of an accident last year and have ended up with burn scars on my neck. My family tell me it's not noticeable but it really is. My lovely daughter decided scarves were the way and now I have a nice collection. Such a little thing but it makes me feel more confident.
It's whatever works for you. Might be a walk might be a new nail varnish. Just as long as it makes you feel good.
Honeyb
X
-
HI Rose
According to what I have read some estrogen is made in our fat so presumably some ladies are helped by this extra estrogen during menapause, I know some very thin ladies who suffer terribly too, :P
-
Hi Winterose, that makes sense! However, knowing me that even should I put a ton of weight on, it wouldn't matter :'( As the others say treat yourself as you are 'worth it' then you can worry about the cost later! I also know how Cassie feels about not having any desire or being desired. It's a horrible feeling to just 'disappear' however I am getting chatted up by 70 + yr old men (I'm 57) which does nothing for the ego!
-
Lol Rose, they say you are only as old as the man you are with, so I would give him a wide berth hehe :)
-
Cassie, I once saw an elderly man sitting outside the library and it being a beautiful day, I said' hello, lovely weather we're having". he indicated that he couldn't hear, so I went nearer and then he said " like your dress but it would look better off". He was about 80! So you see why I am feeling as though things are going downhill! My kids roared laughing!
-
Hi folks just thought I would put my wee tuppence worth in ,yip the menopause knocked me for six as well,as in few other posts I have menopause after surgery and was told it would not be gradual I would go right in and boy were they right I started with few flushes and sweats then they just went off scale then the confusion and muddled words kicked in and have brain rot and the concentration of a gnat {not that I am an expert on gnats},all this plus still recovering from surgery as just 4 and a half months in ,so discomfort from that,,lack of sleep,being weepy and other joys the menopause brings,i sure I have turned into a she devil I am sure I will see horns when I look in the mirror , my poor husband takes one look at my face and just says 'will I just be quite till you tell me otherwise' bless him he been so good through all this.Guess it so hard to understand if you not a woman going through it,as I posted earlier the women on this site have been a god send full of understanding and compassion and can have a rant without feeling guilty or daft,i am sure there Is light at the end of the tunnel no clue when my light will show itself but hey ho get there eventually and a rant now and again helps better than crying :'( all the time.
-
Ladies I don't know about size making meno different I am 11 and half stone and I suffer very bad meno I was 16 stone and have done well to lose the weight but would love to get my life back I'm 46 been on meno road for about 3 years suffer hot flushes panick attacks mood swings night sweats aching joints depression just waiting to see if I can have hrt It's great to have this forum to come to and here that we are not alone I agree that it's good to buy something nice to cheer us up