Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: rosekay on August 02, 2013, 12:04:04 PM
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So weepy at the moment and so fed up. Can't get a job. At home, feeling like I'm just clearing up after everyone.
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:foryou:
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What type of work would you like? Sometimes volunteering can get a person into an organisation!
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I get like that sometimes. Only have hubby at home these days, but I'm often chasing my tail, whilst he sits watching TV or on the computer. I eventually hit the roof and he says I should ask for help. No I want him to say put your feet up & I'll do it. I end up a blubbering wreck at times. I skulk off to the bedroom and reappear when I'm calmer.
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Aah Rosekay, cant offer help but just wanted u to know someones here
Sending u big cyber hugs
Xx
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thanks everyone. I feel so stupid! I'm fed up alone in the house, then when people want me to babysit the grandchildren (though they are gorgeous and I love them to bits) I resent it because I feel everyone is off having a life and I'm stuck here so they can go off... It feels like that's it, my life is done, just watch everyone else get on with theirs. My husband doesn't like his job much, but he goes out and speaks to adults.. I don't, unless I go to the supermarket! My youngest daughter is home at the moment from uni, she's working and uses the car to get there. The longer I'm in the house, the less I want to go out, then the more stranded and fed up I feel - it's a vicious circle at the moment. And the skipped heartbeats are really bad (being monitored, though they are benign they scare me).
Sorry for the moaning, it's good to have a sounding board! I had told my husband how bored I was at home - he had moved some furniture in the spare room and I commented that I had planned to do it differently - response was Oh, it'll give you something to do then. You're always moaning you've got nothing to do. I left the room very quickly and banged around downstairs for a good while.He had changed it all round again later. I don't think he meant it to sound as bad as it did, he's not like that. But I was so mad!
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Hi Rosekay, why don't you try to go out somewhere every day. Go and look round the shops, have a coffee Even if you don't want anything, It breaks up the day. Take your daughter to work then you have the car.
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It is very difficult when you get stuck in a rut but the only person who can change things is you rosekay. Try to do as Minnie suggests - especially taking your daughter to work - this would give you so many more opportunities to go out and explore different places.
You old way of life is over now that you no longer have young children at home but now is the time to plan your new one! As for babysitting grandchildren - I am sure that if you can find fulfilling things to do sometimes then you wont feel resentful and will enjoy your time with them. Is there a new career you can study for - something you have always wanted to do?
Taz
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It really is a case of making yourself do things. I go to gym 4 times a week I don't always speak to someone, but I'm out of the house.
Any hobbies? Maybe you could look at your local community centre and see what's available. My neighbour has been on her own for a few years now. She now goes to dancing and often just jumps on a bus and goes somewhere to look at the shops. Go for a coffee somewhere and people watch.
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:thankyou: to everyone. I'm feeling a bit more positive today - it's so nice to be able to speak my mind and have people on my side, so to speak! It really helps to write just what I feel and not have to worry about making the family feel bad. How on earth we'd cope without this site I just don't know! Onwards and upwards! xx
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but I'm often chasing my tail, whilst he sits watching TV or on the computer. I eventually hit the roof and he says I should ask for help. No I want him to say put your feet up & I'll do it.
Oh me too CG - mine's just the same and after the "you only have to ask" bit he says "what do you want me to do" which makes me even more cross and I snap " I'm not your boss!" Why can't he look around and see what wants doing like I do... Grrrrr. Now I feel bad for moaning because he's lovely really ::)
Rosekay, glad you are feeling more positive. I am still working at the moment but I am not a gregarious person and I could easily become someone who stays in and becomes isolated. I think I would have to give myself a real kick up the bum to get out and make friends once I leave off work.
ariadne xx
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Yes, Ariadne, what is it with even the best men that they don't look round and SEE what needs doing!? It must be something in the brain, I think!
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I'm guilty of not noticing what needs doing in the garden even when it's staring at me. He does the garden and plants up all the flowering tubs and baskets. I can quite happily walk past them all day and not notice that they are dying of thirst. I also never notice if the grass needs cutting or anything else needs doing garden-wise. I just don't "see" it. He says that this is how he is with the housework - just doesn't notice but will quite happily do it if I give him a list. I suppose it's because it's just not interesting enough the same as the garden doesn't really interest me.
I learnt through my counselling sessions that women are the worlds worst at asking for things to be done and just expecting their partners to know instinctively. We don't say what we mean enough and end up huffing and feeling hard done by. We often don't say what we actually mean and the meno seems to make this ten times worse!
Taz x