Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: fiorinda on June 22, 2013, 07:31:11 AM
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I'm reluctant to try HRT - I have spoken to my doc about it - my sister has had breast cancer 3 times, first time at 39, then at around 55 and recently at 67, and I have had yearly mammos since I was 39 too, but my doc said that needn't necessarily rule HRT out for me, I would just have to weigh up the risks versus the benefits. Also my partner and I don't want to jeapordise any teeny tiny little last chance of a baby (my periods come and go) - we know it's extremely improbable, but maybe, maybe not impossible. I have adult children and even a grandson, but my partner is in his 20s and doesn't have any kids. Plus I haven't taken the pill for 24 years because I didn't like filling my body with artificial hormones, I'm not sure I want to start again now.
I'm not dead set against it, and when I'm certain there's no chance of a baby left and I start falling apart I will probably reconsider, but for now I'm more interested in alternatives.
So I'd love to hear what alternatives to HRT work for you.
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Usually alternatives only 'work' for a short while. If they were proven, they would be available on the NHS ;)
Keeping hydrated, exercising regularly, eating well are important, what ever stage of Life we are at. There are a myriad of pots and potions on the shelves so it really is a personal choice, but if one begins on an alternative, it needs to be taken at least 6-8 months before one might notice any difference. Most won't hurt and some may well boost our systems in this very busy world.
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I did find that Sage tincture worked almost immediately - as I used to find EPO worked pretty quickly for my PMS symptoms (within hours) back in the day. I think there are probably lots of alternative remedies for Menopause symptoms, just as for most other things, that work perfectly well and have done for millennia, but they're not tested and approved because they wouldn't make enough money for the people who fund the research. I've used alternative remedies for a long time for minor ailments, both for myself and for my children. The 'proof' I think is in their long historical and often widespread use. I reckon if an alternative remedy is going to be effective but not immediately, a couple of months should see some results, don't think it would take as long as 6 usually. If diet can play a part in mitigating symptoms, I think it probably makes sense that medicinal herbs can too. When you consider the number of possible side effects printed on the info sheets of any medicine, it looks like they also work differently for different people. I doubt anything works in exactly the same way for everyone. It's all a bit trial and error really. Unfortunately it's not quite as easy to get considered and professional opinion/information on alternatives as it is on patented medicines, unless you consult a registered herbalist or similar. I think we're stuck with peer-recommendation!
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:thankyou: Trial and Error certainly :-\
Have you read through the menus, left of screen? You may find some hints there. When I was growing up there was a bungalow close by which I ran by ........ 'cos the local 'healing woman' lived there ::) ....... I vaguely remember Mum taking me there when I fell and banged my head quite badly .......... don't remember what happened or what 'treatment' she gave because I was so scared :D
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Lol! She'd probably have been burned at the stake a few centuries ago (and me next to her)!! I've just this minute noticed there is an 'alternative therapies' link, thank you though. Apparently there is also a thread about how others cope without HRT. I'm off to read that now! :)
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AND I've even posted on it before and then forgotten all about it.... need something for that memory loss thing obviously!
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AND I've even posted on it before and then forgotten all about it.... need something for that memory loss thing obviously!
Don't fret - happens to us all
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am I allowed to ;D ::)
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Indeed, laugh, I did! ;D
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:rofl:
Did reading the menus help any?
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To be honest, not much. Nothing I didn't already know really. There's no urgency right now anyway as (touch wood) I'm pretty symptom-free at the moment and there's nothing I can take, on either side of the coin, that will return my fertility, so I'm just collecting info for when the symptoms I've had before come back or new ones start.
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Loss of fertility = age? How does your partner feel, is he happy enough without a child?
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I'm 48, CLKD. I've probably been peri-menopausal for around 4 years now, maybe longer (I think 4 years ago was the first time my periods went AWOL for a few months). They've been on and off roughly at 6 monthly intervals ever since. So I was 6 months without up to this April, then they returned but extremely light and short. I'm pretty sure I'm about to have another any day. I feel like my innards could fall out, and I'm VERY weepy and tetchy.
My partner would love for us to have a child, but he knows how unlikely it is and he is fine with that - he knows he could leave and have a relationship with a woman his own age and have LOADS of kids if he wanted, but he wants to be with me more than he wants kids. :)
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You sound about right age-wise really - peri-meno takes eight to ten years and the normal (whatever normal is in our crazy meno world!) is 51. Would HRT lessen your chances of getting pregnant then? I know that you do have to use contraception as well as HRT if you haven't gone a year without periods so I assumed that you could still get pregnant.
Taz x
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Get on and live. If your partner is happy with you as a couple, maybe relaxing might be the way to go. I know of 2 women who 'couldn't' have children, the 1st adopted/fostered 7 before falling pregnant, the other went on a cruise with her husband - came back pregnant ::).
Don't give up. Live differently, i.e. focus on something other than a baby - Nature can be a mystery and come up with the goods when it is least expected ;)
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We've got other stuff that is important to us - we're just about to put on our first Supper Club event for example, and we're talking about holidays for later in the year when my 'marital' home is finally sold, when we'll also start thinking about buying our own house together. We help out with my grandson, which is fun (he's only 19 months old). We both know that our chances of having a baby are extremely small to non-existant. We're pretty realistic... that doesn't stop it being on my mind most of the time though! I'm not convinced in my situation that 'relaxing' or not thinking about it is going to make a shred of difference to be honest. It doesn't help much that the majority of my friends are in their 30s and just starting their families and even my best friend who has 2 grown up sons has an 'accidental' 3 year old too (she's 5 years younger than me).
My GP said that HRT would be contraindicated for me though, if I was hoping for, and doing nothing to prevent, a pregnancy. I've read lots about women who've fallen pregnant after starting HRT, as if it has restarted their fertility, but nothing to indicate how safe this is. I guess while ever I'm not experiencing symptoms it's not that much of an issue! I'll just poddle along as I am for now. It's certainly not a deal-breaker for us.
I was interested though to read on here that someone had been taking alfalfa as an alternative remedy for menopause symptoms, mainly as she said that her libido was improved.... can only be a good thing!!
Thank you for your interest though, it's good to talk about this, I've kept it between my partner and I so far as I was worried that friends would either keep asking me if I was pregnant yet or tell me I was stupid or crazy or deluded! Feels nice to be open about it at last. Even if it never happens! :)
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Did I maybe read elsewhere on this forum that some women who have experienced very early menopause ie a few years either side of 30, and hoping still to conceive have been advised that they need to take HRT to keep their wombs in good condition? Maybe that was for IVF only?
I can't see that introducing a cyclical bio-identical HRT ( such as patch or gel) along with micronised (bio-identical) progesterone such as utrogestan, could affect the possibility of conception - but I really don't know enough about this.
Maybe start another thread on this topic to attract these women or else I know mumsnet will have lots of threads on this.
Hurdity x
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You Magazine have an article today about women who conceived in their late 30s and early 40s.
We also had a member who had twins through IVF I think. She had twins. I am pretty sure she went to a clinic in Spain.
Someone help me out with her name....I think it was Stella_al ....Not sure though.
Her story from meno to conception to birth might interest you.
Honeyb
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I found her. If you search for her name in the members section you will be able to read her story.
Might help.
Honeyb
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Yes I remember Stella - an inspirational story.
I can understand your brain keeping this baby idea active ::) ...... logic against need ......... been there with other issues in my Life ....
Hope all goes well with your new home buying - how exciting! You know what 'they' say ;)
(What's a Supper Club? )
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I'll look Stella's story up - though we would never be able to afford IVF and I'm far too old to get it on the NHS.
My own mother was 43 when I was born - but there's a LOT of difference fertility-wise between early 40s and late 40s. My GP surgery has basically told me that there is no help available for us. Despite raising our hopes initially that there might be by sending my partner for a fertility test because they said the fertility clinic at the women's hospital would not consider seeing me until he'd been tested. Then afterwards when we heard nothing from them and I went back to ask what the next step was, they said there was no next step. I'm 48, my hormone levels put me firmly in the perimenopause, go away, forget about it, it wasn't an impossibility but to accept it was most unlikely. One GP just said concentrate on being happy, because that might affect my fertility, and even if it didn't, well, at least I'd be happy - which I guess is fair advice!
I don't know anywhere near enough about HRT to go against what my GP said and use it in the hopes it might boost my fertility. I've searched online for articles about the safety (or lack) of getting pregnant whilst taking HRT but can't seem to find anything at all that relates to women over 45.
We're a way off the house buying yet!! But it is exciting. I've only ever owned one house, the one I am currently selling with my ex-husband. We accepted an offer on it a couple of weeks ago - there is no chain on our side as I'm in a rented flat and my ex-hubby lives in his new wife's house currently, so I'm crossing everything that it all goes smoothly and quickly.
A Supper Club can be many things, but mine, this particular occasion, is a set-menu themed meal for (hopefully) 20 diners, which my partner and I will cook. We're running it through a local Trading Co-operative who have a kitchen and dining space they want to see used more, so they asked us if we wanted to host from their premises. It's the kind of thing I've dreamt of doing for many years so that's all very exciting too. The theme for the first event is Middle Eastern/North African, as that's my favourite cuisine.
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Good luck with your supper club.
I used to do catering for a living. 20 is a big number so my advice would be.
Be prepared. ;D
It sounds like fun.
Honeyb
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Sounds fun! All that washing up though ;D
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That's what kitchen assistants (AKA my partner) are for!!
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I'm 48, CLKD. I've probably been peri-menopausal for around 4 years now, maybe longer (I think 4 years ago was the first time my periods went AWOL for a few months). They've been on and off roughly at 6 monthly intervals ever since. So I was 6 months without up to this April, then they returned but extremely light and short. I'm pretty sure I'm about to have another any day. I feel like my innards could fall out, and I'm VERY weepy and tetchy.
My partner would love for us to have a child, but he knows how unlikely it is and he is fine with that - he knows he could leave and have a relationship with a woman his own age and have LOADS of kids if he wanted, but he wants to be with me more than he wants kids. :)
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OK if you want children and still are bleeding there is a chance but you will need money and plenty of it
My freeinds cousin had a baby at 50 shed was 7mnths with our a period had been iffy for 7 years but was till having them she went on a high regime of hormones and priduced eggs forst time they were crap second time IVF didnt work so they didnt insert them 3rd time they took she had 3 implanted as Soecialist said the chances were low one would take IT did she had a healthy child with n 6months she was in mneopause but she hd the child she waned ehr husband was about 10 years her junior It cost them all thier saving sold their life insurance dipped in to the pension
But they what they wanted but my pals aid it was a long painful experaince but she had never had any children
So if yu reaaly want a child you have to move heaven and earth women in UK and Ozz in the last week both 51 have just given brth the one in Ozz had never had a child before the one in UK I think had got an dult child I tihnk she was even a NANA in the edn its up to yu and how much its worth to try good luck xxxxxxxxx
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Thanks Suzi Q. We won't be spending money on it - if it happens, it happens, if not, then we'll live with that. I'm an impoverished divorcee working for the Council and my partner is working temporary jobs to save up to go to University. If we won the lottery, maybe we'd go down the IVF route, but as things stand, we'd never be able to afford it.
So we'll just take all your wishes of good luck!!