Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: honeybun on May 05, 2013, 12:41:26 PM
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With constant anxiety.
I don't seem to be able to control it at all. The only place I can relax is at home. Apart from that I am a mess.
My driving is rubbish.....shops are a huge challenge and I have a holiday booked which I am dreading even though it's self catering.
I feel as if I will ruin it for hubby and my daughter.
I had 4 sessions of CBT and never really made the connection with my councillor.
I think I need more help but I have never reacted well to medication so I am terrified of the side effects.
So very very tired of feeling like this. :'(
Honeyb
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Anxiety is tiring. After I had suffered panic attacks I would ache the following day. :hug:
I too dread holidays - for a few years I have been OK, but we are booked for Norwich at the end of the month and my gut is tight already >:( ......... however, rather than worrying about spoiling it - how about sitting down and telling them how you feel? If you take plenty of reading material, i.e. magazines to flit through - and find lots for them to do ........ DH goes fishing and leaves me in the cabin. I can rest, sit in the sun, doze ....... knowing that he is happy. Could you look on the 'net to find places for them to visit? It then takes the pressure off all of you!
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HB, I agree with CLKD. When I had exactly as you describe I found that telling everyone close to me how I was afraid of this and that and it somehow neutralized the panic. I wasn't dramatic, just sort of asking for understanding and it lightened the pressure a lot. And I didn't feel I had to always be 'on' because they knew I was fighting my weird emotions.
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HB has your CBT finished now?
Do you have panic attacks? There is an organisation called No Panic which can help with that. You can buy a CD from them which daughter found very helpful.
She has also found a site called The Big White Wall which also gives help on anxiety and other problems.
I hate driving these days, the roads are just too busy and my concentration levels get severely strained.
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Oh honeybun I feel for you and I am exactly the same, also I agree with CLKD that the constant worry is so tiring.
I wish I had an answer for you but all I can offer is sympathy and cyber hugs and the belief that this does get better in time.
Take care and wishing you well.
K.
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Thanks all.
Yes I have finished my CBT. I did not find him very good at all. He told me all the things I already knew but not any specific ways to deal with it. I never made a connection and felt he was dismissive or more likely did not know that there could be a connection to meno and the way I am now.
My sister wants me to explore alternative therapy. We have a very good alternative practitioner near us who has helped me before to control my IBS.
Has anyone else had success with this kind of treatment ?
Honeyb
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Not tried it for anxiety but have had hypnotherapy for other issues (with how I felt about my father) - it helped to a certain extent but went on for months and in the end I couldnt afford to carry on.
Also had acupuncture for physical ailments but the lady I've just been seeing also dealt with anxiety.
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Oh HB I feel for you. I've never had anxiety that bad, only occasionally. My mum was awful though, became virtually housebound for some considerable period of time hence me having to learn to go on bus myself to school at a very young age.
I get what doctor called situational anxiety ??? :-\ Hence no big holiday to foreign parts this year. Thought of being stuck on 8 hour flight again had me in a sweat. Should manage 2 hours or so to Jersey.
Hope you find something which helps! :hug:
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Honeybun, it was when I was at my most anxious (a few years ago) that I started seeing an alternative therapist who was recommended to me... I call her my 'flower lady' because she deals with flower remedies, a kind of homeopathy. I find the sessions give me so much more than I ever get from the conventional medicine on it's own, so doing both has really helped me. All kinds of issues have bubbled up in our sessions! Some seem completely unrelated but all of it has been extremely helpful.
You need to find what works for you :). Anxiety is a horrible thing and I hope you find something that helps long term :hug:
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With constant anxiety.
I don't seem to be able to control it at all. The only place I can relax is at home. Apart from that I am a mess.
My driving is rubbish.....shops are a huge challenge and I have a holiday booked which I am dreading even though it's self catering.
I feel as if I will ruin it for hubby and my daughter.
I had 4 sessions of CBT and never really made the connection with my councillor.
I think I need more help but I have never reacted well to medication so I am terrified of the side effects.
So very very tired of feeling like this. :'(
Honeyb
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RECOG therapy can take up to 3 years of once a month keeping diaries and screaming learning a different way of thinking and coping BUT you MUST have faith in your Therapist if not its a total waste of your time and theirs
I know how you feel Im off to New Zeakand June 12th for 5 days flying there alone from Ozz to me Bobbles
Im aready scared to death and wouldnt go but its already paid for I hate flying I do it every other year or so to Uk
hate it hate it hate it tihnk im going to die crash crash im a mess every bump I freak only since a few years POSTmeno
Up to 2002 I flew with out a qualm alone 2006 Bobbles came too 2007 I was an abso mess went alone and back
Since then never been on a plane to UK and Europe alone not even in Ozz alone so Im scared s///less
Yuor not alone OK xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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How you doing HB, is the anxiety any better. Why don't you do your main food shop online for a while then just nip out to the supermarket for bits, that way you know you don't need to be in the shop for long.
LM x
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Hi honeybun,
How are you?
I feel for you.
I'm going through the same thing.
My GP prescribed a small dose the AD 15mg of Mirtazapine which has helped no end,although I'm not there yet so to speak.
Still get the odd moment but it has improved a lot and I'm now on my 3rd week so it has started to work pretty quickly.
I agree with littleminnie on the online shopping.
This is what I do all the time,even when I'm well.
Can't stand all that trolley rage.goods in the trolley,out the trolley,in the bags,out the trolley,in the car,out the car,indoors phew!!!
Exhausted just thinking about it! ;D
I do go and pick up bits when I need them if I feel ok.
I love online shopping.You can sit and take your time with a cuppa at hand and you can take a break when you feel like it.
As long as you save the goods in your trolley :-\
Dyan X :bighug:
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Rescue Remedy mouth spray as a back-up?
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Hello, try a website called Get Self Help, its very good, anxiety is horrible and very tiring, I am on anti d and small amount of mood stabilizer for anxiety.You are not alone with it!!
charlie
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Hi Honeybun
Really sorry to read your post and can relate with you totally. I have spent the last year battling anxiety and could not take AD'S s they had the wrong effect on me. I have just been diagnosed with a nasty neurological condition and have not allowed my anxiety to suck me back down to where I was a year ago. A year ago I was so bad I became agrophobic. You can beat this anxiety and I would agree with others in that talking with your family can help. If you want to pm me I would gladly help in anyway I can. xx
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Honey bun - are you HRT? :-*
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Yes I am on HRT and have been for almost four years. Started it when I was just 49.
Flushes and sweats were my worst symptoms and also mood swings. The HRT really helped me and at that time anxiety was not a problem.
The anxiety started a year ago. I had had problems with my mum being ill and my son being......very difficult also my OH has some health problems. It all got on top of me and I had my first really bad panic attack and have never really came back from that.
I wondered if the progesterone in the Evoril was not suiting me so I stopped HRT altogether. The sweats returned and the anxiety did not improve. I then tried a different patch but I could not tolerate those as they made me terribly itchy. Again the anxiety remains the same.
I wonder now I am further into meno if a stronger patch would help.
It's about the only thing left to try.
Honeyb
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Having sole care for your Mum for a few days won't help probably! How was she today?
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Not bad at all CLKD.
She did give me a fright last night though. She called at nearly 11pm.I immediately thought that something was wrong.
She had had a wrong number call from a man who had hung up and it had given her a fright. ::)
Honeyb
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That would have scared me too HB. What a shame.
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She had not had a great evening. Her carer forgot to lock the front door when she left last night.
I am tempted to report her but mother has got fond of her. We will make excuses this time as her brother has just died and she is flying to Poland for his funeral today.
If she forgets again then I will report her.
Honeyb
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How long till your Sis gets back?
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She comes back on Saturday.
Mother up to now is surprising me by how good she is being. I won't go tomorrow but have lined up another visitor. Back on Wednesday and then again on Friday.
Just as long as she remains well then I will manage fine.
Honeyb
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Not long to go.
It's good your Mum is behaving.
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She realises maybe? I would line up visitors more often ;). As for not locking the door, your Mum can remind the Carers now as they leave .........