Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: honeybun on April 01, 2013, 07:19:24 PM
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Last house.....?
My daughter was asking me today if I thought we would ever move again or would I be happy to spend the rest of my life in our current house.
We have moved 5 times in 29 years and have been in our current house for nearly 3 years.
I am not sure whether this is it or not and just the thought of it gives me itchy feet.
Has anyone got any big plans of where they want to be for the twilight years.......and do you think you will do it.
Honeyb
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This is our 4th house in 27 years and we just moved into this one 2 years ago. I would like it to be our last if we keep well enough, but it has stairs and I would ideally have liked a bungalow for our last house so........? the thought of another move would fill me with dread though ???
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In my dreams:
a 4 bedded bungalow ........... 3 with en-suite shower rooms; plus a family bathroom; with the main bed-room leading through an automatic shower into a pool area :-* and the pool area will open onto a sun-filled patio ...........
However: I really want an acre of land but it's as rare as hens' teeth :'(. We had planned to move to Wales but there isn't enough to keep us busy. Property in other areas is too highly priced - yet.
I would like to think our next move will be our choice, following that it will be into the 'rest home' ;) ........... I saw the ideal property in a Norfolk village recently but it stands close to the main coastal road which would make leaving and getting back through the gate virtually impossible ::)
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I have moved 10 times in my lifetime thus far, not including 3/4 year overseas. 9 of those 10 times in my adult years. I have lived in my current home nearly 3 years now, and we're discussing a move to the country, closer to my daughter (grandbabies!!!!). So, at least one, probably two more moves - depending on how the economy/jobs/etc. goes. (Our "final" destination will hopefully be in a warmer/drier climate!)
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I honestly could not say. Moved here just over 2 years ago when I separated from ex. Dont like the area in general but children and friends are here. Wouldnt feel able to move away just yet if ever. Maybe to a nicer part of the county?
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This is our second house. Hopefully will downsize further down the line to a nice apartment somewhere.
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I will never ever move to any kind of flat, I would rather live in a tent.
We have had two flats....one a starter flat and one very large Victorian one and the neighbours have been terrible.
I would love a country cottage but I don't think I will ever be able to afford one.
OH tells me if Scotland gain independence we will be moving to England.
Honeyb
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We bought this house as a "five year stop"... twenty five years ago. I hate the thought of moving but would love enough money to have a small flat somewhere on the coast to pop down to for weekends and the odd week or two. I must have spent a fortune over the years renting places!
Taz x
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I think we've lived in this house 22 years now. I sometimes think of moving but our house is in a nice spot and it's always sunny and warm. The house is so well insulated and light and bright that I'd miss all that.
A few years ago I got as far as looking at other houses but I can't be doing with houses where you need lights on in the daytime or tiny little dark rooms which get little sun. As an example, yesterday was everso cold but lovely and sunny. Our heat went off at 8.30 am and I didn't need to switch it on again until 6pm. The kitchen and lounge were bathed in sunshine. :)
We're detached and have 4 bedrooms (all of which we still use) and a lovely sunny, sheltered garden. We sometimes fancy buying somewhere with land for our 2 horses but we rent a 3 acre field just 5 mins walk away so it wouldn't really benefit us much.
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I don't want a flat HB, I want an apartment. :lol:
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A bit like scones or scones!
Taz x
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There's a 2 bed flat over-looking the burned out pier in Brighton ;) - good view, no garden .......... but would never be a 2nd-home as it's over £200.00. <sigh>. At least by renting one can travel around the UK ..........
We moved here in the early 1980s, it was supposedly a stop gap whilst we got a 'feel' for the area; then prices rose ......... ::)
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that flat sounds delightful CLKD ;D
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If I get time and if I remember, I will try to post the Link ;)
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I've found one I quite like in my favourite place but it's £295k although there are two bedrooms...
The link might have a commercial aspect though CLKD.
Taz x
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Houses or flats sorry aparrrrttttments. ;D
Are much cheaper here area dependent of course. It's all relative though as the gaps are still the same.
Honeyb
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I've lived in various places/flats/houses as an adult... am currently in a house we bought 15 years ago so it's the longest I've been anywhere. I don't want it to be my 'forever' home though. We've had a lot of problems with it (subsidence) and we dream of a little cottage in a more rural area. Or near the sea-side. One day!!!
Actually I wouldn't have a problem living in a flat - I've rented a couple in years gone by - and the bonus is the maintenance is normally included in some way :)
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Flats are great if you have good neighbours. We didn't.....I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl.
I think that's one of the reasons I would love a country cottage. No neighbours except cows and sheep. ;D
The market is still static here and I think my OH might kill me if I said I wanted to move again.
I still don't want this to be my last house though.
Honeyb
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PF your house sounds delightful. I also appreciate a lot of natural light.
I'm with you HB, couldnt live in a flat. I really need my own space and to be able to hear people above or below me would do my head in. I even struggle when my daughter stays here sometimes :-\
Turning into a hermit!!!
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There are several flats for sale in Regency Square, Brighton - perhaps a meno bolt-hole anyone?
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Not for me I'm afraid. Not that I could afford them anyway!
Taz x
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Well this is our second house (bought that is) and have lived here over 27 years! Did not think we would be here this long and have got ready to move several times long in the past - when husband applied for other jobs. He didn't get those jobs but in the end he changed jobs several times and didn't have to move.
I can't imagine being here for ever lovely though it is. He would probably like to but I sort of hanker after somewhere a bit more lively nowadays (this is a small village in rural SW England) - as the children have (almost) left - well in a two or three years they will have I expect. Or at least closer to somewhere more lively. I can't imagine ever leaving the SW though after 35 years. We talk jokingly about selling up and living somewhere warmer (eg France) but the reality wouldn't be the dream in your 60's. On the other hand my husband also talks about being happy here for ever - he is a few years older though. He also says well where would you like to move to then and I can't answer that! We don't have a shop, almost no public transport and the village pub has just closed again.
Who knows? Nothing is planned but I think I would need a reason to move because inertia and habit sets in after all this time! Also of course in the spring/summer I love it!!
Hurdity x
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First flat moving after being married and to the area - 2.5 years. Very large and with superb views.
First bought house with husband - 9 years
Second bought house with husband - 10 years
..... husband and I separated.
First bought house on my own - supposedly for 2-3 years. Stayed 10 years.
Second bought house on my own - five years ago....
I bought this one because my daughter and I needed more space and there was no sign of her moving out. I also have a small spare room downstairs which we use as a family room but I planned to use as a treatment room for longer term complementary therapies (part of retirement income plan).
However, within 2.5 years she had found her fiance and moved into their own house.
It was a bit idealistic to buy this house - it takes everything to pay the mortgage and it is in negative equity against the purchase price (I bought immediately before crash and my house sold after :-(. However, I am not complaining.
I did consider buying one of the new apartments/flats in a lovely new development, then thought of my grandson(grandchildren) not being able to play outside in the garden and not having BBQs, so did not pursue that.
So, I don't know if I will move. Practically I should move since it is a bit difficult to upkeep myself.
so ................ possibly yes .................... possibly no.................... perhaps if I was more motivated I would create the future retirement income and change the house in preparation. Now, where did I put that motivation.... ::)
Fx
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This is our second house in 39 years and we have lived here 26 years. It was always our intention to stay here longterm in a solid family home.
We have a very small mortgage left(no thanks to the endowment shortfall!!) and loads of equity but the thought of moving fills me with dread. We have so much stuff in the loft (ours and the sons!) I would not know where to start. Hubby would be no help, so it would all be down to me!
We love the house and where it is, but I know if I was on my own I could not cope with it. The gardens are huge and take a lot of maintenance, not to mention indoors (5 bedrooms!) Hubby has lost all interest this past 2 years so it is becoming difficult to manage it. I would be sad to leave it though
Sometimes I dream of having an apartment with no work to be done, but not sure I would really like it. I feel very secure and settled here (for now!)
PN
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This is only my third home. I moved from my parents' house to a one-bedroomed flat when we married, then we moved to the house we're living in now in 1985.
We too have the dream of a little place by the sea, BUT there are so many things to consider. I don't drive and we can't assume that my husband will always be able to drive so we'd need good public transport. Good health services need to be available too as we never know how long our health will hold out. We're lucky being so close to London and have hospitals and facilities nearby. My in-laws live in Sussex and my Fil had to go all the way to London for heart surgery. I'm rather pessimistic about this sort of thing as all my family's health plummeted in their sixties, and now with my in-laws their lives are one long round of hospital appointments, so easy access to health care is essential. I also wouldn't want to live in an area with a disproportionately high number of elderly people as I'd find that depressing. I have friends here and find it hard to make new ones so don't fancy starting over in a new place.
All in all, I think I want to stay put. Stair lifts anyone?
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Though following on from what you said PN, I wonder how I'd cope with this house on my own. It's only a small three bed one, but the garden is 100 foot long and I never touch it, so don't know what I'd do. Neither of my children are interested in gardening either. Like you, PN, we have too much stuff to move, most of it the men's. I was thinking the other day: my stuff could fit into one trunk, whereas my husband's would need an entire removal van.
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Well I guess I should admit that I equally have a lot of stuff, but at least I am able to sort it out, it is impossible with the mens stuff, they never want to let go of anything!! I do feel overwhelmed with it all sometimes, thank goodness it is in the loft where I don't see it often!
Does your hubby do all the gardening BOB?
I remember my Aunt saying that as you get older (she was 80 at the time) you do lose interest and energy in doing things. She absolutely loved her garden, but it did eventually become a chore and she was physically unable to do it. She moved to a flat and it made life a lot easier for her. PN
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Since my mum and dad died and I had to clear their house where they had lived for over fifty years I see my own clutter in a different light and flash forward to my sons having to deal with all the stuff we have accumulated over the years. Like some of you it is my husband who seems to have the problem with throwing things away. I can vividly remember my mum when in her late sixties fretting over all the stuff there was and trying to get my dad to clear his shed - a task which, after his death, took four of us seven hours!
Taz x
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Yes Taz, I often think of what we would be leaving for our sons to sort out.
My hubby got his garage in such a mess it added to his illness last year. A lot was our sons car stuff from when he refurbished an aold classic. So, while he was in hospital, son came over and cleared the garage. It took 2 days and many trips to the dump.
I was really worried hubby would throw a wobbly when he came home, but he was delighted and said it was easier having someone make the decisions for him. He has not missed anything to this day, although most of it was rubbish!
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My OGH is a hoarder and won't throw anything away, I am the opposite and am always pruning my stuff, it really worries me about what to do if OH goes before me. In fact everything worries me about that scenario.
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I would LOVE a garden of 100 ft >:( .......... if you lived closer ;D
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Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding. My parents were never into gardening either and my dad hated it!
Like you Rowan and Taz I don't like hoarding, but both my husband and son are hoarders. My son is DREADFUL! I don't believe in hoarding as it's unfair on those you leave behind. My mum was a hoarder and I couldn't cope when she was moved to sheltered housing. Her house was crammed with useless rubbish and as it was a council house we only had one month in which to clear it. There was only myself and husband to clear it, though the kids helped a bit, but we lived two hours away so it was very difficult with all the to-ing and fro-ing. In the end we put everything that we could outside for the council to shift. There came a point where I just sat down amongst it all and cried. My husband then said, 'Walk away. Leave it.' So we handed over the keys and left it to the council to clear. I don't know if there was anything worth keeping amongst all the junk, and we'd found a fair bit of cash lying around too, hidden in piles of newspaper, carrier bags and envelopes, so there may have been more, but I expect it all went to the dump. She was then angry with me at not bringing everything to her new place and I could never convince her that most of it was crap and there was no room in her new place, which was only a bedsit. It was one of the most horrible times of my life. :'(
Then she began hoarding again and when she died I had to go through it all over again, though there wasn't so much second time around. Again, I just handed over the keys and walked away as I couldn't cope.
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Doubt I could cope with stress of moving again. Last time we only moved across the road. However I wish could move somewhere else. Quiet, by the sea would be nice. However, it's only a dream.
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I sat and worked out in my life Ive lived in wait for it 10 houses by the time I was 15
15 to 20 2 flats Then at 16 joined the WRENS had 4 different postings makes what 16
20 onwards to now in Wallasey Cornawall and Ozz 4 flats 10 houses 10th being this one so all in all by nigh on 59
30 different houses Barracks and flats Ive lived in
Will this be the last I dont know even thugh we are doing extensive renovations building a huge garden room
Compleat with bifiolds yayyy always wanted them made a 40sq deck bla bla bla I know when its finished itchy again
Weve lately been talking about when we retire (Geoffrey in 6 years maybe sooner) we May sell but a 2 bed flat
Then with the rest of the money go to Italy and buy a home there we have lots of pals in the Amalfi region
With our savings for our pension which we have been doing now since 1989 to fund our retirement if we go to Italy
We could live a fab life there abso no worries where as here in Ozz we will be OK but seeing 2 lots of my rellies move
They left UK in the last 3 years or so one lot to France one lot to Italy with the pension and the money from the sale of their Wallasey house they both live great lives and as they have children and grandchildren they have loads of visitors and of course they arent short of places to stay The one in France has gone to Lyon
My cousins hubbie was offered a job 2 years ago there with a UK/French firm hes 59 now (he was unemployed in UK)
They lived there a year and decided last June to sell up and move perm They bought a terrace in Wallasey to rent out
They bought CASH a 4 bed house with pool on a hillside with buses trains rest lovely med place just outside Lyon
They had a 4 bed semi 1930 style very nice but nothing outlandish but even in these times they got a decent price
Still weve a few years yet to decide and if son and dinlaw have kids then its a no go for certain but shes 35 hes 38?
Mum was the instigator of moving and its always been me but I like this house Ive never loved anywhere Ive lived
After a while any place to me just becomes 4 walls wish it wasnt xxxxxxx
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Gosh Suzi, your life makes me feel tired out :o Sounds good though and retirement in Italy sounds fab.
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When we moved the time before last we had been in that house for 15 years. We had so much stuff it wad scary and I vowed never to let it happen again. again We moved to a flat so no loft and although this house has a tiny bit of loft space we really don't use it as the whole space was converted into a room for my daughter.
The garage is still a nightmare as it has boxes from our flat still storing stuff and then when my son moved back in with us the contents of his flat came too. There is a little path up the middle to the fridge freezer and another little path to the tumble dryer.
I really need to clear it out.......One day.
Honeyb
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Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding.
Wow, BOB you are so lucky. But I can see your dilema of coping with it alone.
I wonder why elderly people seem to hoard? Although saying that my sister is 71 and keeps nothing excessive to what she is using so I can't see her being like that when she gets older. Her loft is empty and I am so envious!
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purplenanny - I don't think it is elderly people who hoard - it is just people that hoard things and it only becomes a problem once they are elderly and other people have to sort it out!
Taz x :)
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I think for our parents' generation the war may have had an influence, also poverty. My mum came from a poor family and I think that made her cling on to things, and in the war you kept everything in case it was needed.
It was sad regarding my mum actually, as she never got any pleasure out of anything she was given. Any present she was given was carefully put away, never to be used. The list of things she held onto unused for decades included a box of toiletries that were quite expensive and so "too good to use", which in the end rotted and crumbled away. She had handbags that went rotten ( the house was damp) that were decades old and never used. It got to the point where if I gave her a present I insisted that it be used or I'd take it back. Saddest of all was a lovely eiderdown that was a wedding present. It was put on the top of the wardrobe for over 40 years as it was "too good to use", and yes, it went rotten.
As well as presents, she had a mania for buying soap, some of which went mouldy. I found some with money -off coupons on the wrapper which went back 20 years! She also hoarded carrier bags, envelopes, newspapers...why? I once tried to throw some carrier bags away and she became very distressed. I begged her to try and explain why she valued them so much ( she had hundreds of them ) but she couldn't. :'(
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Taz, I would say that she got worse as she got older, particularly after my dad died.
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Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding.
Wow, BOB you are so lucky. But I can see your dilema of coping with it alone.
I tell people that that was my main reason for marrying him!
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I have lost count of the houses I have lived in starting from when I was born sometimes when I can't sleep I try to count and picture them, it does tend to send me to sleep.
That's why I hate clutter, I would like to keep only what I use, my books and beautiful things, not the stuff OH won't throw away, never sees the light of day, not used and probably never will be. I am still trying to work our why he puts small screws on the kitchen windowsill saying they will come in handy and they are still there a year later!
My ideal house is one that is far away from neighbours so that I don't have to smell barbecue smoke and do it yourself dust that gets on my chest every year, preferably by the sea, not to far from Doctors and Hospital, near the library, near the shops. The house will have floorboards that don't creak upstairs ( they drive me mad) a large utility room where OH can iron to his hearts content, a large kitchen where we don't get under each others feet and a garden that has no lawn to cut but large patio (we do have that).
I am sure this will not be my last house though I wish I was in one that I loved and would not have to move from, the though of moving makes me feel I would not know where to start, in the past it has never bothered me, but I seemed to have had more energy and enthusiasm then.
Really though I am quite happy here its a lovely area our house is nice just as not perfect as I would like it :)
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I think there is a difference between acquiring clutter - such as ornaments, children's drawings, photos, treasured clothes etc. - and old newspapers, carrier bags. This type of hoarding is often associated with other disorders such as social anxiety, bi-polar and OCD. I only know this because when my children were small they were friends with a lad who's mum hoarded everything. She was a well respected midwife but her home had to be seen to be believed. The whole place was full of bin bags (neatly stacked) because she couldn't bear to throw anything away. In the end their caravan on the drive and their spare car were also filled to the brim with rubbish! She was eventually diagnosed with depression and OCD although it was too late to save the marriage unfortunately. She too would become really upset at the thought of anything being thrown out but, in all other ways, she appeared really well balanced.
My husband is the gardener - he gets upset that I just never notice what he's done out there and I've been told off so much in the past for walking past the tubs all day and just not noticing that the flowers are wilting... much as he never notices that I've cleaned the bathroom I suppose :)
Taz x
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;D (http://;D) good reason BOB, especially now you have a 100ft garden!
Very sad about your Mum, to have lovely things and never enjoy them. Keeping things for best is not good, I used to be like that but try hard not to now. I will try even harder after reading your post BOB. PN x x
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My husband is the gardener - he gets upset that I just never notice what he's done out there and I've been told off so much in the past for walking past the tubs all day and just not noticing that the flowers are wilting... much as he never notices that I've cleaned the bathroom I suppose :)
Taz x
;D (http://;D) well said Taz ! ::) (http://::))
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When my OH came to live here he brought all his stuff with him and as we live in a small house suddenly then it seemed full and we don't have much storage and no garage, he was use to his own large study and very big garage.
I am talking about loads of files, books stuff like that.
We do go to the tip regularly taking plastic bags old electrical appliances and so on and yesterday we took two big bags of clothes and shoes to the British Heart Foundation charity shop, the house still feels full to me though, I am trying gradually to declutter.
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I think there is a difference between acquiring clutter - such as ornaments, children's drawings, photos, treasured clothes etc. - and old newspapers, carrier bags. This type of hoarding is often associated with other disorders such as social anxiety, bi-polar and OCD. I only know this because when my children were small they were friends with a lad who's mum hoarded everything. She was a well respected midwife but her home had to be seen to be believed. The whole place was full of bin bags (neatly stacked) because she couldn't bear to throw anything away. In the end their caravan on the drive and their spare car were also filled to the brim with rubbish! She was eventually diagnosed with depression and OCD although it was too late to save the marriage unfortunately. She too would become really upset at the thought of anything being thrown out but, in all other ways, she appeared really well balanced.
Taz x
Yes my mum kept treasures like my drawings, ornaments etc, plus presents she's been given, but with hindsight I can see that she was OCD too, and yes, she was unhappy for a large part of her life. It's a long long story. I wish there had been help for her, but when I was growing up things like OCD weren't known or at least weren't talked about. Certainly I only realised that her behaviour ( constantly washing her hands for example) wasn't just "mum", it wasn't normal.
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Even old clothes can go to charity as 'rags' for which they are paid by weight. Some charities have PAT testing done on electrical goods so it is always worth asking rather than tipping them. There is freegle too!
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We've just been clearing a relatives' house, She too had things still in boxes not used, but it wasn't just the house she had barns and sheds outside filled with stuff. We had a bonfire going for about 5 days, as most of the stuff had gone rotten.
It does go back to poverty and things 'might' be usefull. My Dear Mum had a suitcase filled with toothpaste powder jars filled with buttons, all colour co-ordinated, and the hooks off her old bras, just the hook bit cut out ;D ;D.
You never threw anything out, in case. She always had new towels' in case' someone came to visit and new clothes, nighties etc 'in case ' she went to hospital.
Mind you I have a set of new towels, ' in case' ;D ;D ;D
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Has anyone watched the Michael McIntyre sketch about man drawers and lofts.
It fits my hubby to a T.
When we had a huge clear out on one house move he got rid of so much stuff. It took him ages to build it up again but he used to get quite upset when he realised he had thrown something out.
I let him have his little hoard.....it keeps him happy.
Honeyb
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We've just been clearing a relatives' house, She too had things still in boxes not used, but it wasn't just the house she had barns and sheds outside filled with stuff. We had a bonfire going for about 5 days, as most of the stuff had gone rotten.
It does go back to poverty and things 'might' be usefull. My Dear Mum had a suitcase filled with toothpaste powder jars filled with buttons, all colour co-ordinated, and the hooks off her old bras, just the hook bit cut out ;D ;D.
You never threw anything out, in case. She always had new towels' in case' someone came to visit and new clothes, nighties etc 'in case ' she went to hospital.
Mind you I have a set of new towels, ' in case' ;D ;D ;D
My mum had three spare kettles, packs and packs of towels, flannels, curtains, Christmas cards --which she said she'd hope would last all her life so that she didn't have to buy any more -- ( true, and I must have put a good 200 in the recycling bin) plus she had kept every single one of my dad's possessions, though he had been gone 7 years. When she moved she broke her heart because there wasn't enough room for his clothes in her new flat. :'( It's so sad when you can't let go.
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Yup BOB Both had packs of spare Christmas cards.
Mind you so do I. I buy them in Jan, cheap from the Charity shops. 2013 all bought already. ;D ;D
OMGoodness I'm turning into my mother. Not bad actually, she was lovely.
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I am determined to be the complete opposite of my mum. I won't hoard anything, I won't get sentimental about inanimate objects and I hope, should I become a widow, that I can let go and not go to bed with my husband's pyjamas for years afterwards like my mum did when my dad had gone.
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Sometimes I keep old cards or photos, but don't hoard anything else or buy anything unnecessary like ornamental objects and general 'clutter'! ;)
I give most of my unwanted clothes to charity shops, and like to have a clear out every change of season.
At one time we always used to keep new clothes for 'best' but now they get worn. I don't buy a lot of clothes anyway.
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My mum had three spare kettles, packs and packs of towels, flannels, curtains, Christmas cards --which she said she'd hope would last all her life so that she didn't have to buy any more -- ( true, and I must have put a good 200 in the recycling bin).
I recently tried to help Mum clear some space in her house after decorating and before my brother and his family come to stay. She lives in the family home which has 3 bedrooms one of which is now a computer room / sitting room downstairs next to the livingroom.
In the cupboard alone she had 3 kettles 'just in case' yet she bought a new one recently when her's broke recently - she forgot she had the spares! She has sheets hand or machine sewn from old sheets; bags of plastic bags, towels, blankets for the bed she never uses.
She has a HUGE wall to wall wardrobe, a small cupboard wardrobe, 2 x double wardrobes; a downstairs outdoor jacket and shoes cupboard and a hall coatstand - COMPLETELY FULL of clothes and shoes.
She has old picture frames which are covered in tape to hold them together "but they are okay when they are up"; toiletries that are out of date; cupboards full of dishes, glasses, gifts (even novelties), cameras, cutlery, crockery................. honestly, I cannot even begin to tell you. There is hardly anywhere to sit. Not as bad as the hoarders you see on TV though.
After one full long day of trying to clear out one cupboard with all the kettles, cases, blankets and lots more, I came away with several empty cardboard boxes, an electric fire that was absolutely done and worn (had to wrench that away from her) and a couple of old towels. I thnk that's all I managed. And that effort caused a really huge argument and tears all round.
She wont move house because she does not know what to do with everything. I recognise the syndrome where they did not have much and had to make do and mend. As I tried to explain, that was 50+ years ago and a different time. It served its purpose then, however, it is a new age, she can buy almost anything she wants and now there is no room for that unless she disposes of some of the rest. New strategy for new times. Didn't work though, so I don't go to help clear out now. She has to take responsibility for her decisions and deal with the consequences (sounds harsh, doesn't it). Much easier to leave her to it though.
Fx
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It seems to be a very common problem, this fear of not having something you may be in need of. My mum had to move ( that's another story) from a two bedroomed house to a bedsit. She couldn't accept that she couldn't take all her junk with her, and it WAS junk! I had to clear her house and she never really forgave me for leaving stuff behind: mouldy old handbags and shoes for example.
My mother-in-law is also a hoarder, not quite the same kind of thing but ornaments and stuff. Their house is crammed with stuff and I'm dreading the time when they pass away, as my husband will want to keep it all.
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OMG! That would be a nightmare for me to deal with BoB.
My boyfriend/OH moved in with me and brought hoardes of 'stuff'. It was everywhere and I could not deal with it. Everywhere I went, his 'stuff' was there or loaded into drawers. 15 deoderants, 5 bottles of cleaning fluid etc. etc. etc. Even my daughter said it was mad. He just bought when he was at the shop. He just used to put everything anywhere - or pile it in a drawerr, or throw it in the hut.
In the end, his presence in every way intruded too much on me and he moved out. He now lives in his own place and I don't need to deal with his 'stuff' ;D. Nice to see him and spend time with him and nice when he goes home. Not ideal really, but I don't know how else to deal with it.
Even recently, in a short space of time he brought in 3 large boxes of dishwasher tablets (that I don't like) and I had nowhere to keep them. He got them into the cupboard and then a box fell out of the cupboard and the contents went everywhere. It drives me mad.
It will be easy to divide up my Mum's house. My sister can have it all.
Fx
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He sounds like the classic hoarder poor sod xxxxxxxxx