Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: mac on May 26, 2012, 03:30:12 PM
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Hi ladies
I'm not sure where to start with this as I am so confused and feeling very sad. As you know I stopped my HRT on the 16th May thinking I was worse on it. That was because I started having severe migranes and floaters and constant loose stools, more so when i changed to patches, I also at times had underlying anxiety but i could cope with that. When my last bloods showed a change in my thyroxine levels i was told to increase my thyroxine to 150mcg. OMG did i feel ill. Agitated, going to the toliet constantly did'nt know which way to turn. I blamed the hrt patch, which i possibly shouldn't have and took it off. When i went back to the GP (unfortunately not the one I usually see who is very supportive) she said they had made a mistake and i shouldn't have been told to increase my thyroxine dose!!!! She feels i am extremely sensitive to medicines at the moment.
Since stopping the HRT and reducing my thyroxine to what it was 125mcg I am having more bad days than good.
They're unwilling to take further bloods to check my hormones until they are sure that the oestrogen i was taking is out of my system and they have said that could take 2 weeks.
Yesterday had a good day but today really bad with anxiety and have had to take propanalol, which the GP gave me for anxiety, I have been prescribed 40mg 3 times a day but have only had to take it once since being prescribed it as I am trying to cope, I cut them in half as well as i am to scared to take the 40.
So now i don't know what to do the GP I saw said they wouldn't consider HRT again for me because of my symptoms but i know they'll try AD's.
I have also read that if your on patches and taking thyroxine, the oestrogen does'nt allow the thyroxine to convert properly? have you ladies heard of this, and that you should take hrt tabs only.
The doc also said i that i did not need to take the propanalol all the time but as i needed it???
My mood is all over the palce, with my poor daughter commenting that i should be back on the patches!! I feel so guilty. :(
I have now signed myself off work as I am not really coping. Night time and morning time seem to be worst.
I feel as if I am about to start a period but nothing so far :'(
I think if i could control the anxiety and sadness i could cope better with all the other symtoms.
Mac
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Hi Mac
First of all, have a :hug: - it sounds as if you need it. This is from the menu on the left (no mention fo which type of HRT is best):-
Thyroid disease
Hyperthyroidism, due to either overactive thyroid gland or over-replacement of thyroxine in under active thyroid disease, leads to an increased risk of osteoporosis due to excess bone loss. Consideration should therefore be given to screening for osteoporosis in postmenopausal women who have a history of hyperthyroidism and offering bone protective measures. HRT does not worsen thyroid disease and in fact may be particularly helpful because of the bone protective effect. However, patients taking thyroxine should be monitored by having thyroid function rechecked 3 months after starting HRT since the thyroxine dose may need to be adjusted. Similarly, thyroxine requirements may alter if HRT is stopped and thyroid function should be rechecked 3 months after stopping HRT.
There are several ladies on here on both thyroxine and HRT, so hopefully they'll be along to advise you. It's very confusing and annoying when you get conflicting advice from different gps; you may well find that your usual gp will be happy for you to try HRT again if that's what you want.
Bette x
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There's a lot here I can't comment on Mac but I am sure someone else will be along to help. What I want to say is not to worry too much about the propanolol, which I also was given by my doc. I had it in 10mg tablets and was told to take up to 40mg three times a day as and when needed and I used to vary the dose although I'm not sure I ever took the maximum. But I think I came close. There's a school of thought that says that 'as and when' doesn't work but as it is given to people nervous about going on stage (actors and musicians) I can't see that can be true. It sort of helped me, it slows your heart down and made me a bit calmer, although too much can make you dopey and a bit cold in the winter. I also tried the slow release ones which actually have 180mg in them but I didn't get along with those as they made me feel really strange.
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time and you really shouldn't feel guilty, although us women do, don't we? I think the anxiety symptoms are the worst part of this meno lark, and although mine are better than they were (I am on HRT), I do have not so good days (like today, actually). I'm hoping that time will resolve things and that sometime in the future, I will be back to my 'old self' or indeed a 'new self' - one that doesn't have to fight off the panic in the supermarket and can cope with a shop full of demanding customers. :P
Anyway, this posting is more about saying 'chin up', you are far from alone, us girls must stick together and I am sending you some hugs, although as I can't remember how to do that on here, they will have to be virtual ones. ::) I see while I have been typing this, Bette has been on (hello Bette) - and she can do the hugs :D :D
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Hi Bette
Thank you. I'm now in floods of tears :(
This is so hard, i think its even worst today because hubby is on duty tonight.
Mac
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Let it out, I howled my eyes out all day the other day when OH had gone away and Mum was in hospital. :'( Felt awful at the time but I'm sure that it helped.
I'd agree with Lucky Stone (hi there! :) ) that it's worth trying the propanolol.
Try to do something to keep your mind occupied; watch tv, work your way through the "Funnies" on here, catch up on threads you haven't read and maybe post a few things. Remember that you're not alone in all this. :bighug:
Bette x
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Crying is always good, you just howl - sometimes it's the only way. You are not alone, just keep thinking that. We are all on here supporting each other. :)
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Hi mac,
I'm sorry your not feeling good t the moment, it's a bit worrying about the HRT patches and the oestrogen not allowing the thyroxin to convert properly if your on them, I have been on the patches for eight months now and have just been diagnoised with under active thyroid,and am on day three of my thyroxin 25mg, surley my gp would have said if there was a problem with the patches, I would hope! I kept trying to tell my gp that I had thyroid problem for about a year now, but every blood test came back normal or borderline,
But this time thankfully they indicated I was under active, thank god I can hope to feel better soon, I had all the symptoms too, cold hands and feet, cold most of the time, dry skin,exhaustion,tingling lips,put on weight, and oh yes the big one constipation!
I'm sure if you see another doc in your surgery,you should be able to go back on HRT , just go in and be firm and say you have decided this is what you want, I'm not sure the patches would be causing the migraines as they are recommended for people who suffer from them,
Could your high level of thyroxin cause these migraines? I'm new to thyroid side effects,but everyone is effected differently.
I hope you get to feel better soon.
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Hi Mac
I was prescribed propranalol over 12 years ago for a really bad episode of my first ever panic attacks - ~I took it twice a day for 3 years and eventually weaned myself off it and havent been b ack on it since - I now take Trazadone at night but the sie effects are giving me side effects but I dont know if its them or the peri-meonapuse - tingling in fingers and legs,dry and sore eyes sudden episodes of breathlessness and palpitations - I try not to take the Trazadone as I take vagifem too so am full of chemicals!!!
Anyway the propranalol are good and they really help with anxiety and the side effects vary but aren't that bad - you need ot trust your Gp for a couple o fweeks and see if it helps - I empathise with you cos am struggling with sleep and work and stress with hubbby so the chemicals are a good thing!!!
Things do get better - just give yourself time and go with it
cry when you want to aswell - it helps!!!!! xxxx
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Hi
Thank you all for your support. Todays been a better day but still not good haven't taken an propanalol.
Smokey not sure whats going on with my thyroxine. Doc that's been supportive has asked to see me to discuss blood results and the last ones I had done were my cholestrol and thyroxine but will let you know what the outcome is and if theres any truth in the oestrogen and thyroxine theory.
I felt well when they increased my dose to the 125mcg in Feb so will wait and see and from what i can remember(memo brain) I didn't expereince any side effects.
Saladgirl thank you for tell me of your expereince with propanalol its really helpful. Can I ask why you stopped them?
I wish i new what to expect with all of this whether its my thyroid or the menopause then i think i could cope better.
Hope you all have a good week I'm going to take the rest of the week off as I feel totally exhausted.
Take care.
Mac
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First of all: :bighug:
I was advised to take Propranolol nightly. At first it was 80mg but was cut down after 3 weeks to 40mg that was oh at least 9 years ago and I can't be without it. If I am facing an event I up it to 40mg in the morning too.
Anti-depressant medications can and do help other conditions ;)
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Hi CLKD
Do you find that the propanalol works for you? Last november a GP prescribed prozac for me but I couldn't tolerate it :( I don't know where I am at the moment but I am planning on seeing my GP tomorrow and i was going to ask what other drugs!! I can take. Any advice on anti depressants would be a great help.
Macxxx
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I have cyclic depression: so get so bad I can't get out of bed, take ADs, mood lifts, I begin to cope then feel better so stop the medication ::) it took years to realise that I need a low-maintenance dose. Panic attacks still controlled my Life until the GP prescribed beta-blockas which mean that Hubby and I have a Life together again. I have gradually been able to resume shopping trips, eating out, visiting friends with much less worry. I don't do theatres, tried and panic took over :'( but everything else: after years of believing that I would eventually be house bound for ever ........
Remember that most medications have side effects so several may need to be trialled to see what suits you. Remember too that you may not need medication for ever but if something helps you see the wood for the trees and you generally feel better ;) but don't expect to feel well overnight. Management is the word!
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Hope you feel better soon. I am too an advocate of propopanol and take it on a need basis. I find it really useful.
It is one of the few things that I don't find addictive.
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Hi All
Have had really bad days since the weekend but I suppose now i know they are to do with my hormones more than my thyroid. All the symptoms that went away with HRT are back, waking during the night, bad dreams, hot flashes but only occasionally, i feel like I'm having a surge of hormones, aching joints but not all the time and an overwhelming feeling of saddness and headaches, feeling like my head has got a lot of pressure in it.
Woke up this morning feeling fine then by 11 i was ready to kill my husband over a jaffa cake!! and then this almighty panic attack so took my propanalol. So frightening, went to the emergency surgery at 12 saw a GP that was very sympathetic and told me to take the propanol regularly and said I should definately be on HRT as it was clear from my results that I was perimenopausal. He did say I needed to give it time to work at least another 2 months and if after that time i still had problems they could change it. He also said to take the propanalol with it. He did say not to start for another week to see if my diarhoea settled. I told him I was expecting a period this week but nothing so far but he said that because I was peri it might not happen. I stopped the hrt on the 16th May 2 days after i had put my oestrogen patch on.
I'm thinking should I just go back on the patches now or wait another week or wait for my period so I don't upset my own cycle to much. I should be starting my progestrone patch today. I'm on Femseven sequi.
Any advice greatly received.
Mac
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Sorry this didn't show on my 'unread posts' button >:(
You have a sympathetic GP, not many around. ;) I know you want to feel better now but listen to what he suggests and wait until the runny tummy settles a bit, hormones can cause 'the runs'.
I had several instances of sudden rage last week ............ Himself really annoyed me by butting into one of my ideas :bang: :bang: :bang:
I get bad dreams occasionally otherwise they are long, involved, busy ::)
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It's so difficult to know what's best isn't it mac. It would be good if you could wait a bit to see if the diarrhoea settled but I can understand you would want to get started right away so that you feel better. How are you getting on with taking the beta blockers regularly? Sounds like you had a really horrible day the other day - well done for going along to the gp and getting some help for yourself. Hang in there you will get through this. Have a hug from me. Xxx
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Remind me: what dose of BBs are you taking? I take 40mg at night and if stressed add 40mg the next morning - helps to stop those awful adrenaline surges.
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Hi
Really bad this morning feel as if I'm going of my head don't know whats going on constant state of anxiety having what feels like surges took 20mg propanalol 0915. I feel as if I'm having a breakdown so scared.
Going back to the doctors I'm sure they must think I'm loosing it. No diarhoea.
Just want to feel better :(
Mac
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Hi Mac
Sorry you are having such a hard time. Your feelings are similar to mine and I am on HRT but think I need my dose adjusted. Have been told to wait another 2 weeks before they retest my hormone levels to see if they have rectified themselves. Don't know how I will survive the next 2 weeks because the exhaustion, sadness and anxiety are overwhelming.
I wouldn't feel guilty about going back to the docs because you need resolution to your situation.
My heart goes out to you.
Keep strong.
Anne B
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Hey Mac have a hug - you are defo not going off your head despite feeling like it. Anxiety is horrible. It makes you doubt your sanity and strips you of your confidence. Am glad you are going back to the gp. Glad too your diarrhoea has gone today - maybe he will start you back on your hrt. Hopefully as the day goes on you will settle down. I often feel terrible in the morning too. Anxiety makes me doubt my mind as well. Be gentle with yourself today - read a book, go a walk, have a bath, phone a friend, watch a movie - just do things that don't put you under any more stress. Anxiety is exhausting. Take care for now and let us know how you get on at the gp's. xxx
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oh mac....I wish i could hug you, I know how you feel with anxiety its awful...although is improving for me the longer I am on HRT (into 3rd month now)
Is there someone you can phone to have a general chat with or visit for a cuppa...something to take you mind off things? It all seems lots worse when you are on your own.
Stumpy xxxxxxx
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Been there and survived! but at the time I didn't think I would be able to. I spent hours dozing on the settee with radio softly in the background. Once you have seen your GP how about doing nothing? or maybe some chores would help, different people deal with anxiety in different ways. For me it was laying stilluntil the anxiety surges stopped, usually about 5.30 p.m. when my committments had been dealt with: or not.
Let the medicatino do the work. 20mg will ease it's way into the system by now, have you eaten this morning as low blood sugar can cause anxiety surges big time ......... don't wait until you feel hungry but if possible graze: bananas are slow release, dried fruits and nuts can ease those hunger pangs which sometimes we don't recognise.
It WILL pass! it is AWFUL!
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I'm now in tears :( Your all such lovely ladies I feel so relieved you are all there. My husband is with me and he's doing his best but I know he's worried because its so unlike me. I was pacing the floor this morning I had convinced myself that i was loosing it.
I'm begining to feel a bit better.
If i'm allowed back on HRT should I stick to patches, I was on Femseven sequi or should i take tabs? which ones work quicker?
Mac
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Truely feel for you mac. Anxiety is the pits. Hope you get on ok at the doctors
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Am glad your OH is with you mac.
Stumpy xx
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Oh Mac - I am sorry that you are feeling so bad, it's really nasty because I think that it becomes a downward spiral ( it does for me sometimes) and you need something to break that - cry, shout, scream - whatever it is that works to distract you from the thoughts in your head. :bighug: and I hope that you soon start to feel better. Take care of yourself x
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Did you try the Rescue Remedy Mac? It really does help and calms you down.
Sounds daft but I found chewing gum helped too.
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Mac, haven't you had a problem with migraines? If so, it might be best to stick with the patches for now.
Have you tried Lemon Balm or the 321 exercise? Anxiety is horrible but you will come through it as many of us on here can bear witness to. :hug:
Bette x
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Hi Mac,
Just caught up with your post again today, I know how you feel but things will get better,I know you can't imagine it at the moment,but trust me they will.
I have looked at over symptoms of to much thyroxine, and yes one is loose stools and anxiety, adrenaline surges etc. When that's settle down you will be able to re-start your HRT , as for which HRT you take is down to personal choice,and if it doesn't suit you after 3 months you can change to another.
I personally am on Everol sequel 50 mg patches these were chosen by my gp as I suffer from silent migraines and patches don't go through your stomach, but by pass it so cause less problems with headache/migraine and upset stomaches if that may apply to you. Mine have so far Been brilliant,
I get a 3/4 day fairly light bleed onweek 3 of the mix patch oestrogen/progesterone .
But saying that I've been taking the thyroid med for 6 days and my period has not arrived, although I have stomach cramps so maybe it is them causing it.
I would definatley hang in there a bit when you start the HRT again as the improvements are well worth waiting for my aniexty went after about 2 weeks together with flushes and sad feelings tougher with the tears.
I still feel quite ill after doing anything for more than 1/2 hour or so and my mouth really starts to tingle, can you remember how long after you first started your thyroxin you started to feel good again.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
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Thank you all for your support and kind words. Haven't done a thing this morning but stay on this forum which is my counselling therapy.
Bette your right I started getting really bad headaches/migranes when I stared on ellsette duo, but it could also have been a symptom of the menopause so who knows. Just not sure what HRT to take, if I can re-start.
Smokey - it took about 10 days to feel the benefit of throxine when I last increased it in February. Remember you may have to adjust your dose of thyroxine so have regular blood tests.
Mac
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mac just to give you a big big hug and understand you are not losing it and that lots of us on here have been through this. Emotional things are the worse for me, I can cope with physical much more than mental. Hopefully your gp will be able to advise you on hrt. Life sucks sometimes doesn't it. I am withdrawing from AD at mo and it is horrendous. I do know how you feel but you will get there. Take care
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I still only take half a day at a time and try not to plan too far ahead.
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We have a his and hers calender and a separate one for every one else that we engage with - so I can put stuff on and forget until 24 hours before. I am a spontaneous person usually.
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Hi Ladies
Back from the GP's and she was very understanding and supportive, what a relief. I took my Oh with me because as you know I thought I was seriously loosing my mind this morning. It continued into the afternoon, then i felt a little better when I was chatting to the Gp but at the moment I am Mrs Angry and unreasonable. I seem to be pacing the floor a lot. I hope this is just hormones :(
The GP listened to me and although she agreed that i needed HRT she is more concerned about my mental health at the moment and i would agree with her. I know its been said on here before that only HRT can really sort out these hormonal fluctuations but I'm willing to give anything a try. I have to take propanalol 40mg twice a day and she has started me on citalopram 10mg for a week and then increasing it to 20mg and i need to see her in 2 weeks. She said i wasn't going mad but the stress of the last 18 months (will tell you more later) could have contributed to the way i feel plus the hormonal change. I have to trust them and believe that i will get better. The resent post about citalopram do make me a bit scared and the side effects and also taking the propanalol. I been taking 20mgs of the propanalol and today I have taken 60mgs so i have another 20 that i can take before bed. At the moment i think i might have difficulty in sleeping I feel all wired if you know what i mean. I have also felt very cold today don't know if thats anything to do with hormones. Can anxiety last all day? I felt a lot of nausea this afternoon.
Thank you all.
Mac
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Hi mac
Yes anxiety can last all day sometimes babe. But try to think of having a lovely sleep & waking up feeling better tomorrow.
Can you watch tv in bed, that helps me drop off when I am 'wired'. Or read a magazine with a nice cuppa in bed?
Did she not want to give you HRT?
Do you have any rescue remedy spray in the house?
Stumpy xx
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Hi Stumpy
Yes she wants me to have HRT but to try this first because this is my 4 visit to the GP in a week all anxiety related. Although i did have anxiety whilst on HRT this seems more intense and i don't seem to get much relief. I am so scared of ending up in A/E because of this and making a fool of myself or worst still that this is another problem that is not realted to the menopause :( I wish I had one of you ladies on speed dial :)
I have rescue remedy but not sure if i should take it with all the other pills.
Mac
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You can take the rescue remedy as required, I use the mouth spray and not as often as I used to. So it DOES get better, but I was a long while believing that my brain and body were beginning to harmonise again.
You seem to have a good GP and glad that your OH went along too. What we believe and what we feel are totally alien to each other and my feelings often over-rode what people would tell me. It was in my gut and bowel not my brain and the fear took over rapidly.
I take Ciprolex 5mg at night. That means that if it makes me dozey that's fine, any other side effects can go over in the night. I take that and my 40mg beta-blocka whilst in the bath with an Actimel drink .......... that way I am already on my way to relaxing. Nights when I am unable to sleep I use my NintendoDS or listen to the radio .............
Half a day at a time ;) :hug:
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Hi mac i know how scarey all this is and the sense of thinking we are losing control but it will go and I know you don't think that at the moment and that is cos you are so in the midst of it but you WILL feel better. As I said I am going through AD withdrawal cos I stupidly stopped it abruptly and I haven't felt this bad for a while. Hoping this will pass soon. I am sure once your meds start to kick in you will feel a lot better. Get lots of reassurance from your family and on here cos at mo you need it from people who aren't where you are at mo and can see past to when you will feel better soon. AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER
Take care
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It always amazes me when I've had a good spell *how* ill I feel when I'm bad ........... :-\
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There are many things that i am learning about myself on this journey but the biggest reward was finding this forum and all you lovely gorgeous ladies. I will never be able to return your kindness and it makes me feel proud and humble that you are all their for me. I have always been the one that gives but now I am the receiver.
Sorry if that sounds odd but I am so grateful to you all.
Mac
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That's OK! the kettle is always on ;)
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It always amazes me when I've had a good spell *how* ill I feel when I'm bad ........... :-\
I totally agree with this CLKD
Mac, I'm glad that you saw your GP and that things should start to improve for you as it sounds like you've been having a really horrendous time :foryou:
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I've said this before but I reckon gps should look at this site as I really think they could learn a thing or two to help their patients and understand more of what we have go through.
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I think for me, actually admitting to myself that i need help is half the battle. After being brought up with 6 brothers it's not always an easy thing to do ;)
Mac
Paisley, I totally agree xx
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Hi mac
How are you this morning?
:)
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Hi Stumpy
Not good, didn't sleep that well have just taken my propanalol and hoping it will work soon.
How are you
Mac
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Hi mac
Am fine thanks....I have been like you in the past believe me & thank goodness for this forum!!! ::)
Try some rescue rem spray, its fine with other things, it takes the edge off things.
You need to try & eat too as I find I am worst in mornings, I now always make sure I eat as soon as I get up (it used to be a cigarette was the first thing, but not now).
Have you eaten?
Stumpy xx
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Unfortunately because i take throxine I'm not supposed to eat for an hour after taking it. I was doing really well with reducing my smoking but for the last week they're creeping up again.
Mac
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Hi
I think at the moment i wouldnt worry about the smoking. Yes in the days to come, start cutting down again, but for now if it helps dont worry about it. Trying to cut down/stop is stressful and you dont need anymore.
Try some rescue spray, honest mac its very good it cant harm you. If you are anything like I was you will analyze everything. My worst thing was putting 2 & 2 together & coming up with 6. Any little twinge I had, i thought it was a heart attack etc. The mind is a very powerful thing.
Soon you will have it under control, I know at the moment you cant believe that, but you will.
Have a look back at some of my posts over the last 6months...... ::)
Stumpy xx
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Hi mac,
Are you starting to feel any better now you've had breakfast, wow an hour to wait after taking your thyroxin,that's a long time, my pharmacist just said take before breakfast, I normally leave half our,I take mine in bed then time I have fed my four cats and dog and prepared breakfast, tea,water,smoothies it's ok. I'm usually knackered before eating it.
Where have the days gone where you could rush round get the kids ready for school and do thousands of jobs as you go! I never used to have breakfast till 10am and always have plenty of energy spare!
Thank god the kids are now at work, otherwise I don't know how I would have coped.
Got to work today but only two hours as that's all I have energy for at the moment.
Keep posting and reading on here as the time passes a lot quicker, and maybe keep a diary so you can look back over the weeks and see your improvements, you will be astonished at the things that have got a lot better.
Take care xx
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Have you started the Citialopram yet Mac? Apparently it's the most widely used AD prescribed. Are you any better now you have eaten?
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Thanks Mrs P about the thyroxine that should make it easier to eat earlier. Did your specialist advise on any other does and don'ts on thyroxie, like foods to avoid, medications that interact.
Littleminnie yes took the first does last night hope it works quickly because this is really scary, I don't want to be left on my own as I am worried in case I do anything wrong or have bad thoughts but then I think this could be to do with the propanalol, definately loosing it! :(
It seems to come in waves this feeling of anxiety, does anyone else get it like this?
Smokey i have kept a diary since March and one day I hope to write "I'm having a good day"
Thanks ladies
Mac
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It seems to come in waves this feeling of anxiety, does anyone else get it like this?
Hi Mac, this is how it is for me, it doesn't last too long but it's horrid at the time - I improve as the day goes on.
i hope that everything you're doing will start to have an effect really quickly and that you feel better soon. Best Wishes x
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I too get the anxiety in waves. It is horrible but I'm sure it will get better now you are taking ads. Have you read Claire weekes books she explains all you are feeling so that you know it is just a chemical being released in your body that gives you the anxiety. Easier said than done I know but it does help to know that it follows a pattern and if you suffer with anxiety nearly eveyone is having the same feelings and thoughts. Hope you start to feel better soon.
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I used to keep a diary mac, it gave me something to do and focus on. I knew I was getting better when I realised I hadn't written in it for a week.
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I forgot to say, it is the scariest thing ever and if someone had told me 5 years ago that you could feel like I did, I would never have believed them.
You will feel better soon, I promise.
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Thank you all :thankyou:
Littleminne can i ask what you took/did to cope with the anxiety?
Mac
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I started on HRT, I took it for 3 months. All physical symptoms went(flushes, aches, dryness etc). It helped a bit with emotional side. Went back to the doctor, she said sometimes HRT isn't enough to get rid of anxiety, low mood etc. So she put me on Citrilopram (10 mg). Started to feel better after about 5 days. Still had little glitches every now and again but on the whole felt a lot better. I used to give myself marks out of 10 each day how I felt and put it in my diary. I went from a 0/10 to a 9/10. So things will improve.
I also used the rescue remedy (used to keep it under my pillow), chew gum and go through tons of mints.
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Littleminnie you have given me more hope regarding the AD because i was a bit worried about the side effects and so pleased they worked within 5 days. I'm on 10mg for the first week and then I'm supposed to increase to 20mgs are you still on HRT?
mac
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I have to say though Mac after 5 days I didn't wake up feeling wonderful. I started to improve after 5 days, bit by bit. After about 3 weeks I felt well enough to go out on my own and do a bit of clothes shopping.
I am still on HRT, Everol Conti. I felt ok leading up to my periods stopping, it's when they stopped that my problems started.
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Hi everyone,
thanks Mrs purple for the thyroid info, I can't believe it doesn't say in the enclosed leaflet about leaving it for an hour before food. I think 25mg is very low, I just hope when I have my next blood test in 3 weeks time my results are within normal range if not I guess it will be increased to 50mgs I hope I start to feel better soon as I'm off on holiday on 7th July to Cyprus for a week, at least with just me and hubby we can have a bit of luxury for a change, without paying for children, 5 star hotel all inclusive, and we have got a jucuzzi too,
Hubby wanted to buy one,but I said no cause I would end up cleaning it out, so have one on hols as a compromise instead, a lot cheaper too.
Oh yes and I don't know if anyone remembers the delivery of Internet shopping conversations recently, but I spoke to next delivery driver and he said of course we bring it in and put it anywhere you want. So no problems any more,shame they don't put it in the cupboards too!
Mac you could do yours online until you feel confident about going out again and doing it your self, I know I was so scared with panic attacks I stayed in for about a month, I look back now and think how silly, but of course at the time it was so scary, especially with having ms, a parathyroid op and menopause straight after, I thought I was going to die, of course I didn't but it felt like it at the time.
Do you like reading Mac I think I spent the whole month with my e reader continually charging .
Speak. To you all soon. Xx
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Hi Smokey
I love reading, but sometimes my mind wonders when i'm in a state of anxiety :( can anyone tell me how long the beta blockers take to work. Had a bad morning, a fairly good afternoon and now i feel awful and i've taken rescue remedy. Just had a quick chat with the only call GP, not as helpful as the others, who told me i would have to ride it out until at least after the weekend OMG i hope i make it that far. He also said that the AD can sometimes increase anxiety before it gets better, just what i needed to hear. noet to self, avoid that GP!!
Mac
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It is so hard to concentrate with anxiety isn't it? I always found the beta blockers worked quickly. You want to sit down and relax but can't. I know it is hard but try to concentrate on something. I was still feeling bad last night (cos as everyone know stupidly came of AD suddenly) so got into bed and put Miranda on cos it is the one and only thing that can bring a smile to my face when I feel bad. Have you tried going for a walk? Can you try and relieve some of that tension by punching a pillow. Think how positive it was that you had a fairly good afternoon, that is progress. Have you tried camomile or valerian tea? Could take the edge of it a bit.
Keep posting on here as well so you have something to do. Another positive thing is that someone said the AD will work quickly so that is something to look forward to
YOU WILL GET BETTER SOONER THAN YOU THINK
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Thanks Paisley, hope you begin to feel better soon I can empathise with the anxiety and truley understand where you are. Perhaps your being to hard on yourself with coming off the AD's at the moment and maybe you should have a conversation with your GP (maybe you have already) I truly believe that whilst we're in this state of flux we should take what our bodies need at that time.
I suppose sometimes for me I let things pray on my mind and I can imagine all sorts of illness, but I've only been like this since the begining of this year.
I am also supposed to be flying home a week on Wednesday to see my Mum who's been in hospital since last August and she is desperate to see me and me her as we're very close and I am terified that i will not be able to make it.
Mac
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I think when we feel bad everything prays on our mind, I am terrible for over exaggeration and always imagine the worst I think that is what anxiety does to us. Do you live abroad? I live in Spain and find it a bit odd trying to settle. Been here since last August, I do like it but I think it takes a while to settle cos you are leaving everything familiar behind plus my daughter has to stay in U.K cos she has a job there and we are very close. She has been such a help with me going through the meno. Son useless I have 23, 20 and 4 year old, I know must be mad musn't I. We never planned the 3rd but I am glad now cos the year after having him started with menopause so couldn't have had one if I wanted so I always think he was meant to be.
Are you worried about the flight cos of your anxiety? Don't forget by then the. meds will have got into your system and you are feeling much better so I wouldn't think beyond one day at a time, things can change one day to the next for the better. Yesterday I was feeling horrendous and today I feel a bit better.
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The GP was being honest! don't expect too much too soon ;)
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Thanks CLKD I know your right but its horrible feeling like this. I've just given myself a kick up the a***e.
Mac
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One of these then:
:kick:
don't be too hard on yourself. These symptoms are real and debilitating. I thought I would *never* recover from the anxiety which kept me housebound. I dispaired. Spent hours dozing on the settee surrounded by dogs/cats/fluff/dust with the radio on in the background. Gradually the medication began to work but I feared deep down that it wouldn't. Generally I feel better now than I have done for ages, would never go through the 1990s again but that learning curve taught me what to do when I begin to feel ruff .........
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Thanks for make me smile ;D
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Mac, little steps, the anti depressants will work. I started taking them last year as was in a horrible state with anxiety. I'm in peri and frankly it's been a rough ride, anxiety is vile. Slowly but surely the tablets kicked in , feel so much better, you will too. X
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Hi mac,
Don't worry about what the gp said, as every one reacts differently to meds, just because some people suffer from anxiety,before is cures it , doesn't mean you will.
Keep positive, forget about your flight until the day before, I expect you will feel much calmer by then, and once you get on that plane you will have something to look forward to Your mum! You will be able to confide,and I'm sure will be comforted by her and maybe she will tell you some of her meno blips.
Speak to you soon
Xx
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Thank you ladies, have had a better evening - score 3 out of 10 compared to yesterday it was -3 :)
Macxxxx
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Little steps. Don't rush too much as you begin to improve or you will use up your energy levels ;)
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:congrats: Mac
Bette x
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Have been awake since 5am :( knew i needed to eat but couldn't until i had my thyroxine. Feel very sick but might be a side effect of the medicinces. Anxiety not so bad.
Mac
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I keep my thyroxine in my bedside cabinet. I also take a bottle of water to bed with me. If I wake up early I take it then.
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Although the anxiety is better feeling like I'm a bit out of control if that makes any sense, having what I can only describe as surges of something? agitated a little, moody, scared. Wish all this would stop :(
Mac
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I think you need to talk to your GP about the thyroxine timings explaining that you need to eat to stop the anxiety surges. Maybe there is some lee-way with this?
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Hi Mrs P
I've just been thinking I should ask to be refered to an endocrinologist so that i can be sure I'm on the right dosaged of thyroxine and that they're not missing anything.
Mac
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How are you doing Mac? How many out of 10 this evening?
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Not so good tonight LM, very lethargic, sad :( nausea a bit better, hope it gets better soon.
Probably a 2 out of Ten, maybe I'm expecting to much
How are you?
Mac
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If the nausea has improved that's a huge plus ;). Listen to your body, if your body is tired rest!
My points were 1-5 ......... I wrote them on the calender daily so that I could see how I had got through the previous week. What a bind :'( - better now, it took time but I did get there - so will you!
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I'm ok Mac thanks.
The tablets haven't had chance to work yet Mac, they will work.
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Hi mac,
How are you? I've read your posts and there seems the tiniest positive, perhaps you can't see it yet but others reading them can. It will be gradual but everyday you will get the tiniest bit better. I am feeling a bit better from AD withdrawal so as you can see it is positive just slowly and surely but I do know that you just want it to all get better now but it will. I don't think our bodies heal like that. AS far as me it is gradual getting worse so it only makes sense it is a gradual getting better.
YOU WILL GET BETTER.
KEEP POSTING IT HELPS ME TO
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Felt ok when i got up but its gradually gone down hill :( Got everyone ready to go out to the celebrations, managed one walk around the park and that was it back at home. Couldn't do it, don't know whats wrong with me :'( There was a lot of people and noise it never used to bother me. They did say that the AD could make the anxiety worse to start with but it would get better. feel so sorry for my family and sooo guilty.
Mac
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Don't feel sorry and guilty you can't help the way you feel. If there was something wrong with your family you would help them too. I think people have far more sympathy for physical than mental things cos people seem to think that mental problems are catching.
Perhaps it was too much at moment for you to go out and just getting ready to do something is exhausting. I find that if I have acute anxiety I can't be in a busy place with lots of people, it makes me worse and I have to put an act on which gives me more tension. Just do what makes YOU the most comfortable at the moment. Listen to your body and if some situation doesn't seem right don't do it. Don't please anyone else at mo but yourself. All medication has different reactions with different people. I am very sensitive to anything hence withdrawal of AD but I am also affected by hrt taking it and stopping. If the AD is making you worse just keep telling yourself that soon it will be making you better.
I am sure all your family want is to see you better which YOU WILL BE.
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You managed some of the walk . Guilt is the hardest thing too, the feeling that we are letting others down.
In 1999 I was very ill one C.mas and had to go back to the Hotel that night, therefore not opening gifts with his family as was the habit, oh I mean tradition ::). When I walked into *my* Mum's house the next morning she asked what sort of evening we had had and when I told her I had to leave, her words were:
"So you spoiled it for everyone else". No, if they couldn't have a nice evening without my being there that was their problem >:(. It wasn't as though it was a deliberate act on my part ..........
Little steps ;)
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Went for a snooze when i got home. Have just taken our daughter for a slepover at her friends, I didn't drive, but went for the drive, beautiful afternoon. Asked hubby to stop at a shop so i could get some water, walked in, it was very busy, managed to get what i needed, waited in the queue, with no problems?
Don't know what to night's going to be like as hubby is out with friends, so it's me and our son, hope i manage :(
Mac
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I can relate to your experiences. Since I haven't been at work since Xmas my colleagues kindly took me out to dinner last night. I had worked myself up to a frenzy and by the time I got there I couldn't eat and had to leave after an hour. I felt so guilty.
Today my sister took me to the supermarket. This is the first time in 5 months I have been in a large shop and it was so overwhelming I had to leave the trolley and came home in a right state.
Burst out crying when I dropped my ginger and lemon teabag on the floor which I was attempting to have to calm me down ! What's that all about?
Yes hysterectomy and sudden menopause have a lot to answer for but for goodness sake I have turned into a mad woman. My partner and daughter think I have totally lost the plot.
Hope you all have a much better day tomorrow.
Cheers
Anne B
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Anne B
You sound as if your having an awful time, a hug from me. What a horrible 24 hrs for you, are you taking anything to try and help you? This is my second week of work, the longest I've ever had off since starting work at 17. You haven't lost it, its just a terrible time for all of us, but we have to believe that there is an end to this, otherwise their would be a lot of women out there that have lost it ;)
Hope you feel netter soon.
Macxxx
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Thanks Mac
Did try Citalopram recently but was told by GP to stop after 10 days as I had an allergic reaction.
Think if I can get my HRT sorted then things will be much better.
Too much daytime TV doesn't help!
Keep smiling
Anne B
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Too much day-time TV - that's OK for now this won't last for ever.
I still go shopping when it's more likely to be quiet, hwoever *not* today - is there something on ;) ::) ....... I also never let the cupboards go down so that I back myself into a corner and HAVE to go shopping - therefore if I feel anxious or can't get parked I can com ehome until tomorrow!
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CKLD
You are quite right. Not the end of the world. Will have oven chips and fish from the freezer and try the supermarket tomorrow or order on-line!
Watching a pre-recorded 24 hrs in A&E. Maybe I should try watching a mood lifting comedy instead.
Have a good weekend
Anne B
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Thanks I will. 24 hours in A&E has been quite interesting at times.
If you need sleep; sleep. When you are hungry; graze. When you feel like exericse ............ ;)
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CLKD
Was informed that HRT will give me loads of energy and excercise will be a doddle. Haven't exercised in 20 years so HRT must truly be a miracle of biological science. At the moment have barely got the energy to climb the stairs to bed of an evening. Waiting for the magic power surge to happen. If it does I will be amazed and extremely happy. Might even buy a bike - well I'll think about it anyway!
Here's looking forward to better times
Anne B
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Having just read the posts from today I just wanted to send a :bighug:
to everyone who is suffering and hope that you soon feel better. X
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I had a few months off work and did little more than watch tv, walk the dog, put in the odd load of washing and very occasionally, do a bit of shopping. I didn't want to see anyone other than OH for quite a while. This was what I termed my "peri meltdown" and at the time it was terrifying. :'( However, OH was amazingly supportive and encouraged me to do what I needed to do and looking back, I'm glad I did. Once my HRT kicked in, things gradually improved and I slowly started doing more until now, I'm back to my old self.
There is nothing for you to feel guilty about; hormones are doing this to you, it is not your "fault." Things will get better. :foryou:
Bette x
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Have managed to survive the evening without hubbie. Back to 3 out of 10 this evening. Just begining to rationalise things a little bit better, but along way to go, tomorrow might be very different :-\
Supposed to be going home in a little over a week but i think that will be a step to far. Have discussed with hubbie about canceling our summer holiday to Bulgaria, he's so supportive and briefly mentioned it to our daughter and she seems to be okay with it. All this has really knocked my confidence and I seem to be scared of my own shadow at the moment.
Have to spoken to work this week and they're okay.
Have learned the importance of eating small and often although I have no appetite.
So one day at a time or maybe half a day ;)
For you ladies :thankyou:
Macxxx
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Hope tomorrow is better for you. Little steps x
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For me it was the fear that those awful feelings would never go :'( - better now, mostly :)
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So tired today and lethargic going back to bed :(
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I was like that too Mac. Because you are not eating much, you won't have the energy. I used to eat sweets, jelly babies, etc to give me the energy. I don't like sweets that much, but I just just to eat them anyway. They helped with the nausea too.
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Coping strategy:
don't do too much at once - that took me years to fathom >:( ::)
Graze - bananas, dried fruits and nuts, cream crackers, Rich Tea, ginger biscuits, Dextrose tablets
Graze before the body is hungry to avoid that awful nausea surge - took me years to remember that too :(
Sip tea
Pancakes are easy to digest
Fresh chicken diced with ginger, fried gently in olive oil and mixed with rice. Easy to pick at and to digest
Chicken soup is easy to digest. At my worst I would boil the kettle and pour over an Oxo cube, then I would take hours to even begin to sip it ......... as I began to improve I added boiled rice to the mug ......... it was Hard Work :'( but I did survive
The thing is not to forget to eat when we feel better! Catching up on sleep on a wet day is GREAT
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Just trying to have a pancake. Can't beleive this is all the menopause, this is so scary :(
Mac
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It is. The constant awful feelings. The constant 'will I get better' thoughts. The constant feeling unwell. The constant fear ....... keep grazing! It does get better.
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Thank you. Trying to eat. Friends have just been to the house and i hid upstairs :'(. OMG.
Think this forum and you ladies should be nominated for a humanitarian award because without you I don't know what i would do.
Mac
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:hug:
I remember sitting on the stairs shaking one day after one of OH's friends had dropped by for a cup of tea. :'( It was horrible at the time but I did come out the other side and so will you. Keep posting. :foryou:
Bette x
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Hi mac,
how are you? I had a little blip last night. We decided to go out for dinner and you know it is hot here in Spain well in the evening it was still 30 degrees and I was sweating before I went out. Got out and was walking along high street then I just felt really panicky and weepy and I realized it was about 7pm and I hadn't eaten since 1pm nipped into shop got some bananas, hubby looking at me as though I was mad. I was determined to carry on, went for dinner, everyone was eating outside so that was better than being inside, but the feelings never left me all evening.
Today feel up and down suppose it is still AD withdrawal effects but it really knocks you and your right confidence as well. I hate never knowing how I will feel from 1 day to next that really knocks me, I might feel fine and think great and 5 mins later feel really bad. Where does that come from.
YOU WILL GET THERE
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Hi Ladies
Feeling a little bit better, managed to go with hubbie to pick up our daughter from her sleepover.
CLKD hope your day is getting better your support is fantastic.
Mrs P your kind words and reassurance is fantastic.
Bette so sorry to hear you had this feeling as well but reassurring that you did, its odd in that one minute its awful and the next i can feel ok.
Paisley your a brave woman for managing to stay out at dinner, well done, hope your day has been good.
I wish i knew how long this is going to take but i suppose that's the impossible question :(
Mac
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I'm having feelings like this today and a horrible underlying feeling that is sometimes almost physical. I have almost no appetite at the moment so it is a real struggle to eat enough but I have realised that when I do feel bad invariably it coincides with not having eaten so I really appreciate all the advice about keeping your blood sugar up :thankyou:
Like you Paisley I hate not knowing from one day to the next how I'm going to feel and often think I make it worse by dwelling on it but I just can't help it >:(
Mac - Its good that you are feeling a little better and I hope it continues that way for you. I ask myself the same question about when all this will end but there's no answer is there? :(
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Hi Horise
I so sympathise with you :( These feelings that we're having are awful. My hubbie is cooking dinner at the moment and the smell is making me nauseous, but i know I have to eat otherwise i feel even worse. Are you on HRT
Hope you and all of us begin to feel better soon.
Macxx
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Hi Mac, no I'm not on anything at all and am going to try to continue but it may be unrealistic to expect that. I was given Citalopram recently but don't want to take it at the moment. I'd say that one of the worst things I feel is restlessness and discontentment but is that peri menopause? I just don't know. I'm also unsure about whether my feelings are anxiety - how is it with you? :( Like you, I just can't wait to feel better.......
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Hi Horsie
I am at the stage where i will take anything to feel better. I'm on propanalol for the anxiety because I couldn't cope, had 4 visits to the gp within a week. It all seems to have got worse since I stopped my patches because i thought they were not compatable with my thyroxine tabs. I started on the ad's as well. I think the anxiety seems to be a little better and i'm only on my 5th day of the AD'S.
I've now had to take time of work, because i feel so awful
Mac
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Hi Mac, if you don't mind me asking how does the anxiety manifest itself? How do you actually feel? Do you have a physical feeling or is it totally in your head? Maybe my feelings are anxiety, I just don't know because I wouldn't say that I was anxious. I send you support & best wishes that you'll feel better very soon x
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Sorry to hear horsie that you aren't feeling so good either. I think there is def a link between low blood sugar cos as I said before had blip last night and really weirdly just had another about same time as last night and both times felt hungry before. It just came over me I suddenly felt so down and then panicky and hot. I had a banana and some almonds and feel a little better. I am going to do a test tomorrow, I am going to have normal breakfast, lunch and tea and then a snack in between and not go more than 2 hours without food whether I feel like it or not.
Horsie and mac I am not surprised you feel worse cos you aren't even on hrt, mac you came off yours and your body is not used yet to doing without it.
I can't stand these highs and lows, it is so cruel to feel fine one min and not the next.
I am on hrt and still not balanced
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Hi Paisley, thanks for your reply. I'm going to do what you're going to do and try and eat little and often and see if it makes a difference. Because I now eat so little, weight has fallen off me and I wasn't particularly overweight before. Let's compare notes after our test and see if it makes a difference - God I hope so :) All I want is to feel normal and happy again. Best Wishes x
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Hi Horsie
Its like an uncontrolable feeling of fear. I feel it in the pit of my stomach like a knot. Its like I've lost control and i can't explain why and it feels very frightening. At times it feels like a surge of something biulding up either adrenaline or hormones. For me its both physical, and mental although i know its irrational its very difficult when your in the middle of the anxiety. If you have time, read the rest of this thread as CLKD explains it better.
Paisley, I've been of the HRT now since the 16th May, do you think that my body is just adjusting?
Think I'll do the same as you eat every few hours, although I have no appetite and have to force myself.
I've lost over a stone in weight since March.
Macxx
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I think when your in the midst of anxiety it is really hard to think rationalize it, it's the flight or fight response isn't it. We want to run away cos our body thinks it is in danger but we aren't and the more we worry the more adrenaline we release and are bodies can't calm down so it is constantly in hyper alert.
Mac you have only been off hrt for over 2 weeks and they say it takes 3 months to totally get in your system so |I would def think that you are still withdrawing from it and your body doesn't like it after getting used to something.
Fortunately horsie I have a bit of spare weight to lose especially around my tummy but it is no fun when you can't afford to lose anymore is it?
I remember once I was so ill I lost loads of weight when I had pnd and a so called friend thought I was lucky cos I had lost it, she said I wouldn't mind having what you've got, She wasn't my friend much longer, it just goes to show that some people will never feel like this and have no understanding whats so ever what others go through.
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Many hugs to all you ladies suffering from anxiety. I know the feeling well and had a bad day with it today.
Can relate to the weight loss too. Lost 2 stones since March and last time I was weighed by GP 2 weeks ago she said she wanted to see me in the overweight category on her chart. That's a first, being told to get fat by a medic. I think she was just wanting to see that I was eating properly again. It was a good job I was carrying enough weight to begin with because I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose so much weight when already slim.
I try to eat little and often. Has been difficult and dreading going back to be weighed because only put on 1 pound. Still it's better than losing it.
Away to have a ginger & lemon tea with a ginger snap. Not very nutritious but that's what I fancy.
XXX
Anne B
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Mac, annb and horsie firstly :hug:
I so relate to how you are feeling, I felt like this early last year , awful awful awful, after many visits to the doc, tests etc only positive result was peri menopause. Initially I couldn't accept the way I felt was due to per menopause, I began to read, and I wish I had been forewarned as I didn't expect to feel like this. I've basically been on anti depressants for a year now and very slowly they began to help, still have anxiety but at the moment my life is pretty much back on track. I don't feel the same yet, but I'm getting there, managed big wedding last December and six months before it I felt a complete wreck.
Anxiety is such a difficult thing to cope with BUT IT WILL get better. Read all the posts on here re anxiety, get as many tips as you can and put as many as you can into practice. Slowly you will learn to live with the anxiety and as this happens it will begin to fade into the background. I still have some anxiety some days I have none, some weeks I feel totally normal and some weeks it's lurking but it doesn't overwhelm. I should think at some point this year I may begin reducing ads but I'm in no rush, I'm hoping I'm someone who has difficult peri and an easier post menopause.
Do see your gps and keep seeing them, try what you can and what you want to to help you feel better. This site is so very very good at helping and no side effects. :)
Sorry this post looks a bit long x
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Hi JJ
Thank you for your kind post. It is a difficult time and so very difficult to deal with. Are you taking HRT.
mac
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A very big :thankyou: to all you lovely ladies who have replied. It is such a comfort to be able to come on here and realise that I'm not alone in my suffering. I had no idea that this stage could be so awful because no one warns you or even talks about it. I have lost a stone and a half in the last couple of months and I'm told how amazing I look but no one sees how you are feeling inside do they? I do as others have said and that is to cut the day down into chunks and not look too far ahead but that's not the easiest thing to do sometimes. I generally feel better in the evenings but then have a small feeling of dreading how I'll be tomorrow :(
I am sending my very Best Wishes to you all along with positive vibes for better days ahead x
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Hi mac,No not at the moment, gp offered hrt, or ads, or beta blockers , she did say I could combine hrt and ads but in the end we decided best to start on one thing and then if I wanted to I could add on, but at the moment I'm so much better than I was that I don't want to try anything else , this may change so I'm keeping an open mind. I know exactly how your feeling though and I imagine at the mo your feeling like you never going to feel right again, hormones have such an impact. I think once you read through the posts on this site you do begin to realise your not unique in feeling so dreadful and you find ladies who are experiencing or have experienced exactly how you feel.
Last year I couldn't eat without feeling like I was going to be sick, had to have tea spoons of houmus , nibble on breadsticks, lost lots of weight, some days I was literally clinging to hubby sobbing. I'm pleased to say I no longer feel like that. I have jittery days, hot flushes, mainly of an evening but sometimes of a day, and I don't sleep as well as I used to, but generally speaking its such an improvement that those sysmptoms are manageable. I'm very hopeful that eventually I will have passed through peri menopause and my body will adjust .
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Thanks JJ for your great post, it does give me hope that all this WILL pass at some stage. I have lots of times when I feel fine but when I'm bad it seems to set me right back and it's then hard to believe that I'll feel OK again.
Mac - you describe just how I feel - irrational is the word :)
Off to bed now and have everything crossed that we'll all have a better day tomorrow. Thanks to everyone for your support as it means a lot to me x
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Havinga very bad day. Got up feeling fine, trying to keep myself occupied :( very anxious and it doesn't help that I'm on my own.
Mac
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Hi mac
On my own as well and feeling rubbish again. I find it quite difficult to keep myself occupied since still not physically able to do things like housework or go out for too long. This heightens my anxiety and is hard to deal with. This is the 6th month of being virtually housebound and is driving me up the wall. My partner is at work and won't be home till 10pm and my daughter has spent a weekend away with friends. Who knows when she will be home and in what state!
Am going to watch even more TV. What a prospect!
Hope your day goes in fast and you feel a wee bit better.
Thinking of you
Anne B
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Hello, I'm a bit jittery this morning, tedious isn't it. So what can I do to distract myself, going to do a bit of painting and then take it easy. Don't be too hard on yourself ladies when you feel rough. Remind yourself it's all going to pass , eat little and often and try to keep your brain focused on something other than meno symptoms, a challenge I know , it can be all consuming, but you will get through it.
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Hi AnneB
It seems to be worse in the morning, trying to eat every couple of hours and trying to ignore my aches and pains and the constant gurgling in my abdomen . How on earth have you coped for 6 months, you must be a very strong person. I feel like a whimp. I'm watching tv as well.
Hope your day gets better too.
mac
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Mac, you'll probably feel bit better as the day goes on. There's the big jubilee concert on tonight, that might be good. X
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Hi mac
You certainly are not a wimp. Dealing with these feelings is hard and everyone copes in their own way.
6 months of inactivity is certainly a long time - too long for my liking. Have a challenging full time job in the NHS that I will have to return to hopefully within the next 3 months. Have to get the dreaded hormones sorted.
I am now totally convinced that since I am a smoker (I know that's bad especially as I work in a cardiothoracic hospital) that my oral HRT is ineffective. Low oestrogen is contributing to my stress and anxiety and I will beg the GP for patches which hopefully will be better. I know I will have to address my smoking but at the moment too many changes have happened to my body in the last few months.
Am going to force toast and banana down my throat, get dressed and go for my daily short walk to the corner shop for a bottle of Irn-bru (gave up my beloved diet Coke and coffee in a bid to be caffeine free)
Take care of yourself
Anne B
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Your post sounds strangly familiar. I work for the NHS also in a very challenging role, although at the moment any knowledge I have as gone out the window!!! I also smoke and have given up coffee and any drinks like coke . It is recomended to cut down on smoking and if you can stop but now is not the time.
Enjoy your walk.
Mac
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Mac
Have bought e-lites substitute cigarettes but they take a bit of getting used to. Think I will have to gradually introduce them.
I really miss my diet coke but funnily enough even the smell of coffee now makes my stomach turn.
I miss my work , well not work exactly but the people and a routine in life. Saying that I feel a bit nervous at the prospect of returning - will feel like being the new girl again. Have this feeling of dread that I will not be able to cope. Was always active and in control and felt I was competent at work. Time will tell.
Have a good day
Anne B
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I had a few months off work during my "peri meltdown" and was pretty scared about starting again. I did so once my HRT was starting to kick in and now, 2 years on, am really enjoying it again. I was very lucky in that being self-employed/freelance, I was able to ease myself back into it. I had a few blips and sticky days but listened to my body and did things when it was right for me.
BTW, I don't know if you've seen this thread about giving up smoking:-
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,8252.0.html
I'm sure that you're right to wait until you're feeling better to try but hopefully this might encourage you once the time is right for you. ;)
Bette x
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Thanks Bette
Will read the thread on smoking. Didn't smoke for a month after hysterectomy because was so unwell. Wish I hadn't started again. Think boredom with being in the house myself most of the day has a lot to do with it. Also willpower which I seem to lack in at the moment. I know I can do it when the time is right for me.
Many thanks
Anne B
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Hi AnneB and Mac, I'm sorry that you felt so bad yesterday, I had the odd blip myself but it went quite quickly. It is so difficult to focus on anything else isn't it when you feel like this? I try but it sometimes seems all consuming. I'm hoping that I won't be too bad today and I wish the same for both of you and everyone else who is suffering x
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Thanks Horsie
Didn't sleep too well - what's new!
Friends coming to pick me up to take me for lunch. Feel a bit anxious about it but will give it a go. That's if I can muster up the energy to have a shower and get ready.
Mac - hope you are having a better day.
Anne B
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Not the best day for me I'm afraid :( sad and confused sums it up well. Am really struggling with my feelings.
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Hi Ladies
Feeling slightly better today. Had a fairly good sleep which suprised me :) Had my appointment with my GP which was really good. Had a long discussion about all my worries and she is extremley sympathetic and supportive. She wanted to discuss my thyroxine levels and make a plan, my levels were TSH 5.8 and free thyroxine was 16. Continue with the propanalol and Ad's and also try CBT therapy to help with the anxiety all of which I am happy to do but she wants to see me weekly. Definately confirmed I am in the peri menopause but would rather not start to many things all at once just to make sure of what works and what does'nt.
Still having the hormone surges but not as bad today, todays worry is that i can't swollow properly >:(
Bette thank you for the very useful link.
Anne B hope you had a good lunch.
Horsie I know exactly where you are, big hugs to you and this will pass and we will feel better.
Macxx
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Glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better today, Mac.
Your gp sounds great, which really does help. :foryou:
Bette x
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Hi Mac, thanks for your thoughts. I'm really pleased that you're feeling better today - long may it continue :)
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Hi mac so glad to hear you are feeling a little better, long may it continue.
Anne B and Horsie how are you doing today?
Horsie did you try the eating every 2 hours, I did and def think it makes a difference.
I am feeling a lot better, I think the ADs must be totally out of my system, that was really horrendous dealing with those withdrawal effects as well as meno would not recommend it to anyone. Now only have meno to deal with, should be a doddle shouldn't it, I don't think so not the way my body works.
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Hi paisley
So glad your feeling better. Think i'm getting some of the side effects of the Ad's but supposed to be increasing them tomorrow, will have to wait and see how i get on.
mac
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I think starting Ads and stopping them have same side effects but one good thing is stopping or starting them the side effects will go away and you will feel much better
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Hi Paisley
Unfortunately not a good day. Had the awful burning body with clammy skin all day with headache and nausea. Went out with friends for lunch but couldn't eat. Felt bad that I was rubbish company.
Hope I can sleep a bit tonight.
Glad you feel a wee bit better.
Hi Mac
Good luck with increasing AD tomorrow.
Anne B
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Mac , glad you've seen gp, you sound a little more positive now.
Annb hoping tomorrow you have better day.
Paisley, glad you feeling better.
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I used to worry so much about not eating but have found that if I say quietly "I'm here for the company rather than the food" it takes the pressure off ;)
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Hi Mac
Try not to worry to much about feeling that you cannot swallow properly, I had this for several months after my throat surgery, it is probably stress, I felt like I had a lump in my throat, almost like something was pressing down on it from inside, it would come and go, but got it most evenings,and sometimes I really thought I couldn't swallow, but the more I thought about it the worse it felt, when I went to sleep it vanished, probably because I was relaxed.
Stress is what we can't control, especially at this time with meno, they say you don't have to feel stressed to be stressed.
I hope this helps and you can stop worrying so much.
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Hi Ladies
Going up to 4 out of 10 ;) I'm also eating a bit better and managed a walk this evening.
Smokey and all you great ladies, :tulips: thank you.
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Little steps ;)
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Hi Ladies, I did try to eat a little more yesterday and although I found it very hard, it did make me feel a bit better. I do find that my mood improves as the day goes on. Unfortunately I have a difficult situation at home to deal with so am unsure at the moment how much of what I feel is connected to that or the peri thing :(
Mac, you sound a lot more positive which is great - fingers crossed for you :)
AnneB, I hope that today is a better day for you :)
Paisley, I'm glad that the AD horrid withdrawal seems to be over for you - one less thing to have to deal with eh! ;D
Best wishes to everyone x
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Very lethargic this morning, couldn't get out of bed. Day improved though and i even managed to drive :) to town. Sounds weird, 3 weeks ago if someone had said to me that i couldn't drive I would have laughed at them. Got very tired in town but did manage to do a little bit of shopping with my hubbie.
Feeling a bit aprehensive about inreasing the AD's.
Hope you ladies are having a good day.
Macxx
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Well done Mac!
Small baby steps at a time.
Good luck
Anne B
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mac, I am so pleased for you, just going shopping is always a good sign.
AnneB, I am sorry about your lunch. Did the others understand how you were feeling or did you just grin and bear it? Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Horsie glad you managed to eat something and that the day gets a bit better.
Today I feel so drained, I know I live in a hot place, it was 33 degrees today. Did a bit of cleaning this morning, had lunch fell asleep and then just felt so irritable all afternoon and drained could have gone asleep again. ALso my legs and back ache. Could be heat I suppose but hubby seems ok
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Hi Paisley
That sounds hot, don't know if i could cope with that at the moment. Hope it cools down and you get a good nights sleep.
Macxx
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Hi Paisley
Used to absolutely love hot weather and enjoyed my holidays abroad. Don't think I could cope with it at the moment. Do you have air- con?
The girls knew I wasn't feeling good yesterday but not to what extent. Don't know how I survived it.
Posted on another thread about my meltdown today so won't bore you with it again.
Wishing you a cool body
Anne B
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Sorry haven't read your other post yet. Sorry you had an awful day. We haven't a/c
Things WILL GET BETTER
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AnneB - I read about your awful day and send you a :hug: and really hope that you are feeling better this evening x
I'm going to read the thread about hormonal spikes because I think that I had one today and it was really awful :'(
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Thanks Horsie
Feel more in control now. Mind you still have the aches of a very elderly person. Managed to eat a bagel without vomiting - result!
Hormonal spikes - poor you.
Let's look forward to hormonal harmony.
Cheers
Anne B
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Hi Ladies
Feel as if i've had the jitters on and off all day. Not sure if its related to increasing the Ad's last night as apparently this could make anxiety worse to begin with? Or if is because i know i'm going to be on my own tomorrow. I know this is really silly because i know i'll be fine. I still feel as if i'm about to start a period but i've felt like this on and off for the past 2 weeks. I am definately better than what i was, i guess i just need to be patient. ;)
Macxx
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Combination of both situations probably. It's surprising how 'off' I feel when himself is away for the day, eventually I manage to occupy myself but considering how many hobbies/chores I have ........... ::)
Has the confusion gone now?
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Hi CLKD
The confusion i suppose is still there, in the sense that i will not know if i made the right decsion regarding HRT until I give the AD's time to work and see how i feel then. I certainley don't have the migraines or other symptoms i was having on HRT. Sometimes i think that the HRT could have caused the anxiety that i have now because of stopping it?
Macxx (still confused!)
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It's the Trial and Error which is so hard to cope with >:(. We want to know and we want to know *now* ::)
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mac, glad you are feeling a bit better. Can identify with being on own.
Anne B and Horsie how are you today?
I have had a better day. Don't feel as drained today even though it is just as hot, but went to bed earlier last night and even though it was so humid managed a reasonable nights sleep. Had mood swings all day. Felt fine some of the time and suddenly went it went again. But just realized it is 8pm here and haven't really eaten properly since 1pm so think I have done it again and not had my snacks throughout afternoon. You would have thought that I would have learnt my lesson wouldn't you? But when I start feeling a little better it is easy to forget.
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Yep, it took me years to reallise that I had to eat before I was hungry ::)
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Hi Paisley, my day was a bit like yours to be honest without the heat! Chucking it down here most of the day :(
Lots of mood swings today with my underlying sadness& restlessness.
I'm like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead - as in when I'm good I'm very very good and when I'm bad I'm HORRID!
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Horsie,
totally know what you mean
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After having a good day yesterday not such a good day today. Maybe i slept for to long so didn't eat at the same time this morning. Also trying to reduce the propanalol but maybe its to soon to do that. Just worried that I'm not going to make it home next week :(
Under lying anxiety.
Mac
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Hi Mac
I had a better day yesterday as well and thought I had turned a corner but was wishfull thinking. Didn't sleep at all last night and have bad meno symptoms today with crying episodes as well. Wish this damned HRT patch would work quicker! I have become so impatient probably because I have struggled for months and can't see an end to it all.
I am going to try and lie down this afternoon for a nap (miracles sometimes do happen)
Hope you feel better as the day goes on.
Anne B
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Hi Mac & AnneB. I'm very sorry that you two are not having such a good day today after feeling a bit better - it seems relentless doesn't it? I'm not brilliant myself at the moment but a lot of it I think is due to a stressful situation at home :'(
I'm still on my no appetite thing and am now convinced that it makes things a lot worse but seem unable to help myself at the moment.
I really hope that today and the coming days improve for you both and that you are able to make your trip home Mac - I have my fingers crossed for you.
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Thanks ladies
Hope your day improves as well. Just wish this would get better for all of us.
Macxxx
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Horsie sorry you aren't feeling so good, stress def makes me feel worse so if you have stressful situations at home it will makes things worse and so agree on eating, it really does make a difference. Is there anything you can eat that you fancy. I remember when I felt so sick and I knew I had to eat, I just got some oatcakes and nibbled on them with a glass of water. I hope you feel better soon.
AnneB and mac I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hormones are weird I woke up so angry and tense this morning but have got a bit better as day has gone on. Still haven't got my beta blockers, valerian and B vits yet, it's Sunday tomorrow and all pharmacies are closed so we shall see how we get on. Still got my hrt, magnesium and camomile tea.
mac you don't know how you will feel next week, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Hormones seem to change all the time
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Paisley, Horsie & Mac
Feel a wee bit better this evening despite the furnace inside my body.
Managed to eat some fish and potato crisps. I know not a normal combo but that's what I fancied.
Am trying magnesium supps and tart cherry capsules in a bid to aid sleep - might take some time to take effect. Also on Bach rescue remedy for anxiety. Funny how we try anything in a bid for relief.
I do the same as you Paisley and have an oatcake with water or ginger and lemon tea when feeling nauseous.
My brother phoned this afternoon and said he would pop in and see me since he was in my area on business. Haven't seen him in 2 months and for some reason I got really panicky about his visit. I seem to get anxious about any visitors these days which is not like me as I am usually quite sociable.
Hormones !!!
Anyway must stop rambling
Anne B
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Glad you feel a little bit better. I take magnesium in morn and evening. I think when you feel sick you should eat what you fancy no matter what it is. Have you tried camomile tea? When we feel like this it is easy to feel panicky when someone comes cos we think how can we hold it together in front of someone and it is more pressure put on yourself. I feel the same especially when I have to go somewhere, I think how will I cope but we normally do.
On another thread I mentioned that I have been having aches so have taken a paracetamal a fw nights and when I have I have had a better sleep.
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Paisley
I will try camomille tea and I also take 2 paracetamol at night.
If I feel ok tomorrow I may attempt to go to local shopping centre to see if I can cope with crowds. It's only 5 mins from house so can make a quick escape if necessary!
My daughter and I are watching Titanic - got a feeling it's not going to end well.
Anne B
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Hi
Began to feel better as the day went on. I think some of my symptoms are the side effects of the citalopram but still better than this time last week :) I hope your right Paisley that next week will be better and I can make it home. Mum is being discharged from hospital in about 2 weeks and i need to sort out the house.
Anne B hope you get some sleep tonight and enjoy the shopping trip tomorrow.
Horsie hope your home situation resolves soon as you have enough to deal with the hormones.
Macxx
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Hi,
How is everyone today?
Anne B did you sleep any better? Hope you enjoyed the shopping center.
mac glad you feel a bit better and you are prob right that you are having side effects from AD but once they are in your system you will feel lots better.
Horsie hope you are a bit better today
I had not bad evening but woke up this morning and felt really angry and a bit weepy. I don't know if I was stressed cos my son was going to a birthday party and unfortunately here all the parents stay which I wasn't looking forward to as I have to talk to people. Got through the party but still feel so angry and hot, it is 36 degrees today and I feel so drained, too hot to sit in even. My moods feel so unstable. Could just nod off now
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Paisley
Shopping trip not a success. Rambled on about it on your other thread about your HRT.
Glad you got through the party.
Don't know how you cope.
I can barely take care of myself these days without the extra pressure of looking after children.
My child is 24yrs and I feel as if I am ruining her life at the moment with all my hormonal upheaval.
Anne B
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Paisley well done for surviving the party and in that heat. Hope you can have a restful evening. I'm feeling a bit more positive just impatient to feel like the old me :) Think it will take a while.
Anne B just read your other post, sorry to hear about your shopping trip but you've just increased the HRT so it could take a while for it to kick in, then you will feel so much better.
Macxxx
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Just replied to your post on another thread.
As you know I have 23 year old daughter, 20 year old son and 4 year old son. My daughter is in U.K and I miss her so much. I am sure your daughter doesn't think you are ruining her life, she is prob just worried about you and wants to see you well for you. I found my daughter such a help and it has given her an understanding of what other people have to go through. I have broken down in front of her many a time and I can remember her looking after her little brother for the whole weekend about 1 year ago when hubby was away and I really could not cope.
I am sure she only wants to help you.
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Thanks Mac
I know I am in meltdown at the moment. Getting fedup with myself moaning all the time and I know there are a lot of women out there with their own problems to deal with. Feel I have become such a self-centred person over the last few months and I know the real me is still there waiting to resurface.
My family are suffering through this as well and sometimes I lose sight of that.
I hope you continue to improve. It just seems like such a neverending journey doesn't it?
Wonder if I will look back on this and laugh. I hope so because need to regain my sense of humour.
Anne B
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You are so right. Daughters are wonderful and mine is an only child so feel she is having to cope with an out of control mother with no support.
Cheers
Anne B
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Think you're right, I have to sit and talk to her. We are very close and normally confide in each other but I have been trying so desperately to protect her. I've always been a strong person but don't feel like that anymore. Will sit and have a heart to heart with her tonight.
Thanks
Anne B
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I told my daughter, in fact I couldn't keep it from her, she was worried and wanted to know what on earth was wrong with me, she was so sympathetic and did lots of research for me on internet, for such a young person she was very understanding. Now I have to E-mail her cos she isn't with me. I E-mailed the other week when I felt so awful coming of ADs and she E-mailed back with reassurance
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Thanks Mac
I know I am in meltdown at the moment. Getting fedup with myself moaning all the time and I know there are a lot of women out there with their own problems to deal with. Feel I have become such a self-centred person over the last few months and I know the real me is still there waiting to resurface.
My family are suffering through this as well and sometimes I lose sight of that.
I hope you continue to improve. It just seems like such a neverending journey doesn't it?
Wonder if I will look back on this and laugh. I hope so because need to regain my sense of humour.
Anne B
Anne B - I could have written your post!
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AnneB, Mac & Paisley - am thinking of you as we all seem to be really going through it at the moment and thought you might like some of these :foryou:
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Hi Ladies
Your right Horsie we are going through it but with support for each other we will get there. I hope your feeling a bit better and have had a good day.
Anne B if you go back to the begining of this tread you will see that i felt the same about worring my family and not there for my children, my daughter is only 14 but i have spoken to here and reassured her that this is only a phase and I will get better. We are close and I didn't want to worry her at such a young age but talking is good. I've always been the strong one but i've realised I am not super human and need help. For the last 3 months I've been like what Mrs P has described and pushed people away which has not helped my meltdown. Your daughter will just want her Mum and will understand.
I'm still coming to terms with the menopause and I don't know if I ever will but I have to find a way to cope and the Ad's are the first step towards that.
You are in my thoughts and I hope you feel better soon.
Paisley my son is 12 and i have difficulty dealing with that age, I don't know how on earth you are managing to cope with a 4 year old and deal with the menopause and everything else you are going through.
Macxx
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Mac & Mrs P
Thanks for your advice. Sat and spoke at length with my daughter this evening and it was obvious she was very worried about me and didn't know how to help. I reassured her that things will get better and she is a great comfort to me by just being there and giving me hugs when I am losing it. I think she is distressed at seeing her Mum in a vulnerable state since previously I have always been a strong and vibrant person.
We cried buckets but it was good therapy. She is away to bed and I'm still sitting in tears.
She is a very quiet and private young woman and hasn't spoken to her close friends about how she feels. I've encouraged her to do so since I'm sure her girlfriends would be a great support to her. She hasn't socialised much in the last 6months because she said she didn't want to leave me alone. I have told her she must have a life of her own. No point in the two of us sitting miserable at home all the time!
Looking forward to better days.
Anne B
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Can her friends visit occasionally, so that they see the route we all travel? A little light laughter around the house would be good for you both ;)
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Thanks for your kind thoughts and advice ladies.
I appreciate the support I get here as otherwise would feel quite isolated.
Anne B
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How are you today Anne B
Macxx
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Hi Mac
Not too bad at moment. Hopefully that continues and don't have a repeat of yesterday's nightmare. Changed patch at 5am this morning, only another million to go!
How are you?
Anne B
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Anne B so glad your feeling a little better, long may it continue for you.
Mac
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Hi Anne B, seems like you're having a better day today, I'm very pleased for you :) and hope that it stays that way.
Mac & Paisley - how are you today? Good I hope
I've had not too bad a day today with a few periods of feeling a bit odd but my problem at the moment is that I'm bored and restless which is unlike me normally - I hate it. :-\ Does anyone else feel like this?
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A better day :) Slight blips but manageable may make it home after all, here's hoping. I know what you mean Horise about being restless and bored but then i don't have the energy to do much, but I am back to my walks in the evenings.
Seeing GP tomorrow.
Mac
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having a bad day. Major flushes/chills nausea, headache and not surprisingly feeling anxious.
When will this damned patch start working.
Sister is supposed to be visiting this evening but to be honest can't be bothered.
Hope you are all having a better day than me.
Anne B
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:bighug: Anne B.
Bette x
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How long have you been on the patches now Anne?
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Hi Anne
Sorry your having a bad day, the patches will kick in soon. I know you couldn't take citalopram but what about a beta blocker to get you over this bad time with anxiety. I know they worked for me, they took away the worst of it and I'm still taking them but not as much as i was. Although I might be increasing them Thursday to get on this plane ;)
Macxx
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littleminnie
Have only been on the patches since Thursday last week. Thought I would have felt a bit better than this. My symptoms seem to be slightly worse at the moment. Just desperate to see results. Been 6 months of feeling unwell.
Mac
No I haven't had betablockers. How do they help? Do they have any side effects?
Anne B
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Hi,
haven't been on a for a day thought I would have a day off.
How are you horsie, know the bored and couldn't be bothered thoughts.
Mac, I am so happy for you cos you seem a little better and it will get better and better.
AnneB, I am so sorry you are having another bad day. When it is relentless it feels like forever doesn't it? but it will get better, I am not just saying that YOU WILL, I am afraid that it it is still early days for your patch. It is so hard isn't it cos we don't know how much we need especially after hyster. I feel like a guinea pig and it just seems trial and error on how much I do need. Have you had your oestrogen levels checked?
I had a better day yesterday with a few minor blips, today was fine till about 3pm then suddenly a wave of sadness came over me and lasted all afternoon and evening and then the awful anger. I am not angry at anyone particular but just dropping something angers me and keep making mistakes on keyboard now and that is irritating me but before this came on today felt hungry and hadn't eaten for over 5 hrs so could have been that or am I making excuses and also only been living in Spain for nearly a year but I wonder if settling in is affecting me and also my 4 year old is upset going into school which is making me upset. Think I have written an essay now but it is so good to voice things.
Take care every one
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Paisley
I had my oest level tested last week and it was <70. Immediately after result came in went on the Estraderm 75 patch.
What HRT have you settled for at the moment and have you seen any improvement?
Know what you mean about getting overwhelming sadness and anger.
Got really upset today because dropped half a jar of coffee over the kitchen floor. The effort to clean it up just seemed too much. Hormones certainly do weird things to us.
I remember well the day my daughter's first day at school. Tears by the bucket load and no hormone issues to blame!
Bet the weather is a tad hotter than here. Cold and miserable - just like myself!
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Anne, the Patch will kick in soon. The physical side should start to improve within the next few days.
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Hi Anne
The beta blockers were a life saver for me. I had never expereinced panic attacks or anxiety before. I couldn't go out, didn't want to be left on my own, frightened, agitated, couldn't sit still, pacing the floor. The beta blockers eased that and now the Ad's are begining to have an effect. It was like i was having surges of adrenaline/hormones and i could feel it coming. I had very little side effects.
Hope this helps.
Macxx
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Anne B,
your oestrogen level sounds low to me, before hyster I was in peri menopause and on oestrogel my levels got over 900. After hyster the last time I had them done was about 6 months ago and they were 220 or so and I thought that was low but I was on premarin then.
I am now on progynova 2mg in morning and 1 mg at night. Yes I have seen some improvement but for me it is up and down, I can have some okayish days and some awful days, the thing is I never know from one day to the next
what I am going to be like.
YOU WILL FEEL BETTER SOON and will be able to get on with every day things again
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Anne B, I really feel for you suffering so badly at the moment and am thinking of you and hoping that you'll start to see an improvement very very soon. :bighug: My problems seem nothing in comparison.
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Thanks for replying ladies
Have survived visit from Sister. Love her to bits but she is a lecturer in fine art and sometimes speaks to me as if I am one of her students. Saying that,she has been a fantastic help during my recovery and makes a 70 mile round trip to see me as often as she can. Makes organic veg and chicken soup in a bid to get nutrients into me. Haven't the heart to tell her that 6 months of this has made me sick of the sight of it.
Mac
I think I will ask GP about B-blockers.Was a bit reluctant to add more things into the mix but the anxiety is overwhelming. Might wait another week to see if hormones settle a wee bit.
Paisley
Sounds as if you've had a bit of a rough time as well but glad you at least have some good days. I am just a paranoid so and so now and keep thinking what if I'm not absorbing the patch properly. I know that's irrational because I have no reason to believe that it won't work.
Littleminnie
I so hope you're right. I am taking one day at a time and always hope that the next day will be better.Trying to think positive thoughts but sometimes even thinking at all is hard!
Cheers
Anne B
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Horsie
Thanks for your good wishes. As I've said before I feel as if all I do these days is moan about the menopause. Everyone has their issues to deal with and I am sure that there are ladies out there much worse of than me. It's easy to become selfish when you are isolated so that is why I think this forum is invaluable for getting support and also giving it.
Thanks
Anne B
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Hi Anne B - I know what you mean about feeling selfish when you know that there are so many much worse off than you but it still doesn't help at the time does it? I feel that I have become totally self absorbed, worrying about ME all the time, how do I feel, how will I feel etc. I was never like this before :( I sometimes wonder if I have become a bit OCD with it and know that I've got to get it in perspective. When I'm having a bad period I worry that I'll always feel like this even though I know that I won't.
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Yes Horsie, know that feeling, I'm a bit like that at mo, it's just come on in the last few days and it's frankly quite perplexing the way your fine for a good few weeks and then it's back, the oh no, here I go again and when is it going to go.
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Feel so angry again today, just want to scream, I swear I don't know where it comes from. Everything and everyone are annoying me at mo and I feel so tense and headachey with it and I get so angry that I just want to cry, I will have to go to pharmacy and see if they have any beta blockers and valerian need something calming. I have some cammomile tea but too hot here to drink it unless I make it as an ice tea, don't know if it would work the same. How is everyone else doing today, better than me I hope
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Hi Ladies
Just the same as yesterday. Forced myself to take a walk to the riverside which is only 10mins walk but by the time got back was absolutely exhausted. This hysterectomy has taken so much out of me which I certainly wasn't expecting. The flushing and palpitations have started again. Away to lie down for a wee while.
As the day progresses I hope you all feel better.
Anne B
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"Haven't the heart to tell her that 6 months of this has made me sick of the sight of it .... " :rofl: M in L did the same, if we said we liked something we got it for years ::)
Anne B - take it steady. If you had a broken leg ;) ........ it's a major operation and it takes the body time to recover. Enjoy your doze ...... I was told after surgery not to lift anything heavier than a drinking straw :-X
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Hi Paisley, sorry that today is such a bad day for you. Do you think anything in particular brings it on and is it cyclical? I've tried keeping a diary to see if mine is but can't really draw any conclusions - all I know is that I HATE feeling like this with a passion - I'd trade it for a physical illness. One question: Can you go to the pharmacy and get beta blockers without a prescription as I thought that you had to have one? Is it different in Spain?
I hope that you can distract yourself and feel better as the day goes on. :foryou:
Best Wishes x
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Thanks Horsie,
How are you today?
Weird thing is before stopping ADs it was cyclical would feel okay for about 2 weeks then 1 week feel awful but how can that be as I had a full hyster last May. After 5 weeks can it still be partly the ADs still in my system. I read somewhere that it can take 1-7 weeks for the effects to go.
Yes in Spain you can go into the pharmacy and ask for things over the counter, I have got hrt, ADs, doesn't seem very safe does it? I have been here nearly a year and haven't registered with a doctor yet.
I know what you mean about physical over mental, I can cope with physical things far more than mental. To me this is like a form of torture as just as you feel a little better that is when it comes back again.
I look at others and wonder why they are so happy and why aren't I like that. I also feel annoyed cos some people just take 1 hrt and wham back to normality and I feel like the one that is left behind.
Feel like I am wallowing now.
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Hi ladies
Sorry your all having such a bad time. I am better but think it'll be a while before I am me >:( saw my GP yesterday, feels i should continue on the AD's, which i am happy to do, and the propanalol as and when needed but still taking them on a daily bases at the moment. Have managed to drive again and go into town on my own :) if someone had told me i would be like this i would have thought they were mad!!
I am getting on a train at 6 tonight to get my flight home tomorrow and i am terified, how stupid
am I. The thought of being on my own is scary. Its irrational thoughts like, what if i get ill when I'm away, what if i make a fool of myself, but I have to go for the sake of my Mum.
Take care ladies.
Will let you know how i get on.
Macxx
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Mac you sound like you've made progress.x
Paisley I didn't realise you could get meds like ads and beta blockers over the pharmacy counter in Spain, do you have to chat with pharmacist first or do you just get them off the shelf. Much more lenient than here isn't it. I'm on my fourth or is my fifth horrid day - muzzy meno head can't even remember . Pft..........
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JJ, Paisley, Mac and Ann B - I'm thinking of you all and sending Best Wishes and a :bighug: to help you through difficult times. At least we all know that we're not alone and can come here for understanding and support.
I'm not so bad today and am very slowly trying to be more positive and happy (even when I don't feel like it) because I think that I'm wallowing in my own misery which makes it hard for everyone round me. x
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Thanks Horsie so glad you feel a bit better today.
JJ sorry you are also having a bad day. You can't get them off the shelf, you have to ask the pharmacist. A friend last year had run out of her anti biotics and she went to the pharmacy and got some. I do go to this pharmacy regular I don't know if that helps, haven't even got a doctor here yet but I am afraid have no faith in doctors any more.
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Paisley,You could do with finding a doc there, but I'm not sure how it works in Spain, (it is Spain isn't it ?) must be so difficult for you if you've only recently moved there, do u have any friends/family out there? Menopause sucks, I've had a really really god run but am sinking a bit at mo, trying to be patient and waiting for it too pass though, which it usually does, but then there's that nagging what if it doesn't . Couldn't even face tea tonight so I'm going to have to snack.
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Can't really face the thought of Spanish doctor as it is bad enough with an English one. I have husband, 20 year and 4 year old son here. My daughter is in U.K as she has a good job there but really miss her. I feel it is like starting a new life again which I suppose doesn't help with meno.
I really hope your day is better tomorrow.
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Of course you miss her but that's the point of parenting - bring 'em up and let 'em go ;). It's the travelling which gets to me these days it's no longer a hop in the car and visit anyone, so much planning has to take place to keep me within my comfort zone ::)
Paisley - when do you get a visit from your daughter?
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Paisley, I can understand the missing your daughter , I'd be the same. I'm used to my two children not living at home but another country .....now that would take some getting used to. I bet your other two keep you busy.
Sorry going completely off topic now , but I can't stop eating sweet stuff today, why does this happen when I get the jitters and the jitters always come first . Weird - apologies I'm rambling .
How long have you been living in spain, such a lot to get used to cant be easy with meno as well :foryou:
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Hi,
thanks for your kind words.
My daughter is coming for a holiday beginning of August. We have lived here since last August 2011. It's the starting over, can't be bothered making new friends, feels like I am at school again and they all seem really clicky, and they are mostly young mum's and I am 48 year old surgical menopausal woman with a 4 year old, they would never understand that concept. I am not bothered about meeting new mum's thought I was till I met them. Feel like I have been there, done that all before.
JJ I am going through a sweet phase too
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I'm hoping we have good sleep tonight and today better .
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Your 4-year old however will need to make friends and learn the language. Is there a group of 3-5 year olds close by? How about a Library?
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Hi CLKD,
he goes to school here in Spain 3 days a week, and does Spanish every afternoon.
How is everyone doing today?
I feel so weepy today, I thought after 5 weeks I would be over withdrawal effects of ADs or perhaps it is just the meno. I thought hrt was meant to help this. I hate feeling like this. Went to pharmacy and got my beta blockers this morn but still haven't taken them, I am so stubborn, I think some how I am giving in by taking them, I know it sounds daft trying to persevere but just making myself more miserable. Got some valerina and haven't taken that yet either. Can't be bothered doing anything.
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Paisley, you are not alone, I also struggle with these awful feelings sometimes. You will have better days soon, hang on in there and don't keep punishing yourself ( I do that to!)
Sending you a big hug :bighug: (http://:bighug:)
Purplenanny x x
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The beta blockers only cost me 2 euros for 90, much cheaper than a prescription. Now to take them, I don't know
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Thanks Purplenanny,
hope you feel better soon. It is the helplessness and hopelessness of it all. Hate just wanting to cry all the time.
Just picked little boy up from school and all the other mother's were laughing and chatting, i just wanted to cry go and get him and go home. It feels so unfair, I know I am just feeling sorry for myself but can't help it
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Hi Mrs P,
I don't know cos when I feel ok, I love it here. I think when I was in U.K I used to just get in my car and go somewhere but here it seems more difficult and the language barrier. I suppose I feel a bit more trapped. I had bad meno symptoms in U.K. I just need a big big boost from somewhere or something. Just feeling totally fed up with meno and everything it brings and today do feel particulary weepy.
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Paisley
It must be especially hard for you with no support nearby. I had a relatively good day yesterday but feel the same as you do today. This HRT isn't working fast enough for my liking and am fedup with the horrible feelings I have. Just have to hope we get more better days than bad.
Take the bull by the horns and swallow the medication.
Hope you feel better soon
Anne B
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Thanks everyone.
Yes Mrs P, I really need to learn Spanish
AnneB, I am so pleased that you had an ok day yesterday, hold on to that. The thing is I feel a lot more positive about others, I just know for eg that you will get there but when it comes to me I just don't think as positive. I just don't believe that for me I will feel normal again from the meno symptoms and that just makes me feel worse. When I feel ok I do believe it but when I feel bad I don't. I just feel hrt works for others and not me.
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Paisley
That's exactly how I feel. I am so glad for the ladies who are responding well to HRT but am so jealous as well because I'm not part of that club yet and wonder if that day will ever come.
Had to go to Occupational Health today since I have been off work for so long. The OH nurse is lovely and very understanding but by the end of the 1 1/2 hour meeting I was really anxious and quite spaced out. Cried all the way home - no real reason except hormones.
Most days can't be bothered to speak to anyone and I must seem really rude when friends or family contact me. I love them all and I know they mean well but quite frankly can't concentrate enough to interact properly.
I take my hat of to you living in an unfamiliar country and having to cope with a young family as well. You are probably coping better than you think. Just be very kind to yourself and hope that soon you will see positive results.
Anne B
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I'm a bit like you today Paisley and Anne B. I felt better by mid afternoon and am not too bad now but I could have written either of your posts to be honest. Anne B, I know the feeling about not wanting to talk and can't be bothered about anything - that is me at the moment but as it couldn't be less like me normally :( Paisley, I have those same feelings regarding whether I'll ever feel normal again and I agree that it does make things worse but how do you stop it? i just dont know :-\ I have been taking a high dose of St Johns Wort but have decided to cut it right back and maybe stop altogether because I think that it is making me more restless, jittery and anxious than I should be - I may be wrong but feel that it's worth finding out.
At least coming on here makes you realise that you're not alone or going mad even though it does feel like that sometimes :) I send you my very Best Wishes and a Big Hug and lots of positive vibes for better times very soon. X
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Tomorrow is another day ladies.Will be better after 8 hours uninterrupted sleep. If only!!
Anne B
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Hello to all ,Hope you've had reasonable day. I'm feeling bit better than yesterday thank goodness, still a bit jittery but not as bad.
Paisley, I think taking meds, hrt, beta blockers, anti depressants is a sign of strength not weakness. It's a forward step to try and take some control regarding the meno symptoms it's certainly not a failure. Menopause can be extremely difficult and as it can take a while to get through it why should you suffer, the meds may make it more bearable. X ps not too long till your daughters visit, you could start taking the beta blockers and see if they help you, ladies on here have had good success with them and I'm sure they'd be happy to advise.
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Gosh Nelliedee, what a lot you have been through. Welcome to the forum where I know you will get a lot of advice, understanding and support because we all have one thing in common in that this time of our lives is making life difficult. I have the emotional symptoms at the moment but am not taking anything as in ADs or HRT and I find that coming on here and posting really helps me to cope when I feel bad. Best wishes x
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Nelliedee you poor thing, have a hug. My anxiety is driving me loopy at the moment but AD's scare me so I'm trying to soldier on. Glad to hear the propanolol is helping, I think other people on the forum find it useful.
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Thanks for your kind messages. I am just so pleased to have found this forum and to be able to share problems and hopefully some answers and helpful remedies.
xx
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Hi nelliedee
:welcomemm:
You might like to introduce yourself on "New Members" as lots of others will want to welcome you. ;)
I was "lucky" in that anxiety only hit with peri but that may be because I've never had children so this is the first hormone upheaval I've been through. ??? I'm also lucky in that HRT has really helped me. I've found Lemon Balm very good but best of all has been this exercise:-
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,8454.0.html
You'll find lots of info and support here - invaluable simply because it's from ladies going through exactly the same things and so able to really understand. :foryou:
Bette x
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Hello nelliedee your story sounds familiar, the anxiety in menopause is or can be really awful. This site has been a great help to me. Just knowing your not alone is so cathartic , there's always someone whose felt the same. It WILL pass x incidentally I had post natal depression after my second child 27 years ago, didn't take any meds but it took a good year till I felt like myself again. I was then fine - until peri menopause which really kicked in last year - I'm 49.
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Thanks for your welcomes and funny enough I had read the 3 2 1 excersise 2 nights ago and have been having a go at it and it is good. :D
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Hi nellidee and a very warm welcome from me and I am so glad you have found your way here. You will realize you are not going mad cos everyone on here understands. Strange what you say about ADs cos I took them when I had pnd and they made me worse. I have just come of anafranil 6 weeks ago and I am still really feeling the withdrawal effects. I have just read that it can take up to 8 weeks to totally be off them , didn't realize it took that long. They do have a profound effect on your brain.
AnneB and horsie how are you? hope a bit better. Haven't been on for a few days as felt awful and as I said above convinced it is still ADs in my system.
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Hi Ladies and Welcome Nellidee. I am so glad that you found some comfort and reassurance in this thread and that you are very much NOT alone in these horrible feelings. Anxiety for me is throughly the worst symptom of memo.
I survived my train journey (just) and the flights. It wasn't helped by the fact that the the first flight was delayed by 2.5 hours >:( I didn't think I would make it on the flight. Thank god for propranalol and rescue remedy. I stayed with my brother so i didn't have to be on my own in the family home.
The days have got gradually better but I think I have suffered all the side effects of the AD's :( can anyone tell me how long it usually takes for AD's to have complete effect, or am I expecting to much and will I always have this underlying anxiety where i question everything i do? ??? I am still taking the propanalol but not as much as I was.
Hugs to everyone :hug:
Mac
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Why have you lessened the Propranalol when you are in a stressful situation?
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Hello mac , I take anti depressants, took quite a few months for me to feel the benefits as at the beginning they seem to make your anxiety worse. I persevered and I have found that they have basically enabled me to do the things I want to do , not all of the time but most of the time. I haven't found them to be a cure all they've just slowly helped ease the anxiety, I've been on them about a year now. I still get hot flushes but I can cope with them, I don't think I'd worry about taking the beta blocker I'd use them whenever I felt I needed them if I where you, why suffer?
You've done really well with all the travelling you've just done so well done x
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Propranalol needs to be taken regularly to have benefit ........ keeping the drug in the system to give support when we require it. Plus Rescue Rememdy ;)
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mac, well done on all your journey's, you did amazingly well and you should be so pleased you did it as it is not easy.
Glad you are feeling better and I hope that continues to improve, I have had awful times but convinced it is still coming off ADs as you have had side effects going on them I have had the opposite coming off.
Take care
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HI CKLD an JJ
This is going to sound so daft but I'm scared of them ??? I've had so many of the side effects from the AD's that I think I'm paranoid about what's causing what.
I suppose i was expecting the AD's to be a cure for all because i was so desperate to feel better. I know your right about the propanalol I'll keep taking them. It sometimes feels like I've lost me and become this stranger that has become dependant on pills to make me feel like me. If that makes sense. I know we all need help now and again but it's like I'm grieving for the old me.
Great to be back on here.
Mac
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Mac I'm not the old me, but I'm still in menopause, I'm confident that eventually this will pass. Be patient with the anti depressants I'm not sure how long you've been on them but with me, they took time, and the improvement is subtle but there is improvement. Do you take hrt, I'd be happy to give that a go if there weren't so many family members with breast cancer, (my doc said i could give it a go anyway, but thats plan b for me, justnin case)Maybe if you have no reasons not to,hrt would help you. (apologies if ive missed a posting re hrt)
I'm now up to 4 months period free which is the longest I've gone so at the mo I'm wondering if I've had my last period, probably not :-\
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Hi Paisley
I really hope you begin to feel better soon. If the AD's work I can put up with the side effects because hopefully they will ease of.
JJ
I stopped HRT in May, i had only been on it 3 months. I had convinced myself it was causing a lot of my problems but will give the AD's a few months and then review whether the HRT would be a better option.
Thanks
Mac
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I think it's trial and error, trying to find what combinations work best for you. At least we have this web site, and it's free ;D hope you get a good nights sleep .
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mac =the side effects will ease of as your body gets more used to them. Just look at how far you have come, getting on that flight was a major achievement when you consider how you had felt.
I got stuck at another 4 year old birthday party on Saturday. In U.K you drop them off then leave but not here I did not feel like socializing at all but was there for 5 hours making polite conversation. Should have spoke about menopause might have got rid of then quickly.
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Thanks for the welcome Mac and well done for completing your journey. My doc advised me to take the Propanolol 3 times a day and written across the front in large letters is '' DO NOT STOP TAKING THIS MEDICINE WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR DOCTOR'' and I have been paranoid about missing a dose and assumed it was because it slows the heart rate. I have found it strange that others have been advised to take it as and when !!!
Nelliedee x
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Hi Nellidee
I think there's 2 schools of thought about the propanalol. It is used for some many things that i think it depends what your taking it for, whether its continous or ad hoc. How you feeling now, has the anxiety got better. I was on 40mg 3 times a day and it was a life saver along with this forum :)
Paisley, when we lived in abroad the birthday parties were the same as yours but thankfully not all of them, so I can understand how your feeling. Its great your son is making friends one less worry for you. I just have to worry about the family holiday that we're supposed to go on on the 2nd July and the 3.5 hour flight :-\
Mac
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They must be working Mac because 2 weeks ago you sounded as if you would not even contemplate a train journey and flight. I think it is still early days and you will improve more as time goes on. Someone I know takes Citalopram and it took 4 weeks to work properly for her.
Well done for doing the trip.
LM x
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Good to hear from you LM. Hope your okay. It will be 3 weeks this Wednesday that i started the citalopram and your right I am much better :) My legs were like jelly going on the flights but i made it.
Macxxx
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Hey mac check out my thread under this and that entitled holiday anxiety - you will see from that thread you are not alone. I head off on Friday and am trying to hold back the anxiety but feel it trying to overwhelm me at times. We will do it! Xxx
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Mac, I think that you did really well considering how bad you were feeling :) and hopefully you can take confidence from that as you head up towards your family holiday.
Paisley, I really hope that things are imroving for you.
I have had a better couple of days with just the odd blip and am feeling slightly more positive than I have been lately. Fingers crossed x
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Mac
So glad you are seeing improvement.
Considering no sleep last night I feel remarkably ok. Will try a wee snooze later this afternoon if the hot flushes will allow!
Cheers
Anne B
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Mac - can you remind me - where did you go :-\
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Hi CKLD I went home for 3 days to visit my mum who's still in hospital. Its an island of the north west coast of Scotland. The family holiday is to Bulgaria.
Good to hear from you.
Macxx
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Thanks - meno-brain meant I had missed your journey ::)
Bulgaria - now there's an idea! A late friend of ours married a singer from Sophia ............ the wedding was huge and we were privaledged to see the video ;)
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Hi so glad that you are all feeling a bit better and positive. Holidays can be stressful can't they.
I am still feeling not good and still putting it down to coming of ADs. Felt so panicky this morning at my Art class and just wanted to cry but didn't and carried on with what I was painting. The anger at the mo is through the roof and the weepiness, I feel stuck like this.
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Nelliedee I really hope you can get some sleep tonight. I just always hope tomorrow will be better a better day
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Hi ladies
I completley understand your post Nellidee. I think most of us manage the menopause as best as we can. Keeping all your thoughts and feelings to yourself is not always a good thing as I have learned. If your not able to share them with family or friends post on here as there will always be someone to support you. I also take one day at a time or even half a day so that i don't put to much pressure on myself. I have started walking in the evenings and I think it helps me sleep plus my propanalol :)
Hope you sleep well.
Mac
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Well I slept quite well once I managed to get off. I probably need to stop worrying about whether I will sleep or not.
Nelliedee xx
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Even though I'm basically sleeping well now that I'm on HRT, I still listen to a relaxation cd which my hypnotherapist made for me every night in bed. It stops me thinking about anything (including "will I get to sleep" ::) ) and I always seem to drop off before I've heard much of it. If I wake in the night and start "thinking", I use it again then.
Hurdity has adapted the 321 exercise for this:-
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,8454.0.html
Bette x
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Nelliedee & Mac
Doing the same as yourselves. Taking each day as it comes. Lack of sleep is finally catching up with me. No energy to do very much but forced myself to clean the kitchen and bathroom this morning. Wish I could snooze for a wee while before my friend visits later this afternoon but I know from past experience that it won't happen.
Was so tired and anxious that I cancelled an outpatient appointment this morning. Was just to get bloods taken for genetic testing to see if I have Von Willebrands Disease because my daughter has and they want to track the genetic line. Consultant thinks this might be an explanation why I had complications after my hysterectomy. Time will tell. I have rescheduled for August hoping that I may have had a few hours sleep by then!
Hope you all have a good day
Anne B
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Hi Anne
Lack of sleep is horrible. I'm begining to feel better, I think the AD's and propanalol are kicking in. I'm still lethargic and can drop of and sleep but it feels like a drug insuced sleep but thankfully I am sleeping. Memory has gone to pot!! Anxiety is less and mornings are more manageable, last couple of mornings have woken up with flutters in my chest and feel as if my heart is bouncing all over the place. There is a meno clinc in my area and you can self refer which is great, i think when i inquired it was 3 weeks for a new appointment and the consultation was an hour.
Hope you feel better soon
did you speak to your GP about beat blockers?
Mac
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Anne, I wish you a good night's sleep. I also keep struggling....
Mac, good that you are starting to feel better. It's great to have finally found something that actually helps!
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Mac
Glad things are a wee bit better for you. I haven't asked GP about B-blockers yet but sounds like an option worth considering. Posted on 'How are you today' thread about my urgent referral to menopause clinic-23rd Aug is first urgent appointment!
Heikey
Maybe tonight's the night we get some sleep. It's got to happen sometime surely!
Anne B
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Hi all, well I had a good nights sleep last night and must have cos hubby said he heard dogs barking in early hours somewhere and I didn't. Not a very good morning but got better as day went on which I was really surprised about. Who knows how tomorrow will pan it is just wait and see. Meno is full of surprises.
AnneB how are you feeling? and mac glad to hear things are getting a bit better
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Hi Paisley
Not too bad today so far. Still fatigued but did manage a bit better sleep last night. Still convinced my patch isn't high enough dose but will give it another while to see how it goes. Also I am suspicious I am only getting 2 maybe 2 1/2 days out of it instead of 3 1/2 because I seem to feel much worse the day before it's due to be changed.
Hope you are having another good day.
Mac
How are you doing. Better I hope.
Anne B
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Hi Ladies
A bit more jittery and anxious today but my period has started. It might also expalin the palpations i was having >:( Thats my first since i was on HRT patches. That period was the first week in May and that was on the progestrone phase. ???
Hope all you ladies have a better day today.
Mac
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AnneB have you thought of changing your patch a little earlier just to see if it makes a difference to how you feel.
mac, that is the only thing I am grateful for from my hysterectomy and that is no more periods. Prob why you have a bit of the jitters, I am sure it will go soon
Didn't sleep as well last night and had mood swings today, also feel tired and drained but could be the weather here, it is very hot
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Paisley
I was going to try changing my patch more often to see if it helps. Worth a try.
Went out for a nice lunch with my daughter to a local hotel. Had a cappuccino for the first time in 4 months - what a mistake! Major palpitations and headache. Well I'm putting it down to the caffeine and not my hormones. Who knows but I won't risk a coffee again just in case.
Sorry you are not so good today. The heat must be very draining.
Mac
Hopefully your jitters are temporary and you continue to have more better days.
Away to change my patch. Fingers crossed.
Anne B
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Anne B good luck with changing your patch, sometimes experimenting yourself will help cos you know your own body and just by tweeking the hrt ie changing earlier might help. I have no caffeine at all now cos it just sends me into hyper mode and can well do without that.
nelliedee hope your anxiety gets better once you start your period, I used to always get that before my period.
I hope you all have a good nights sleep too.
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thanks Paisley
Hope you all have a good night.
Anne B
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Hi Ladies
Didn't have a good start to the day but it got better and made it to the hairdresser without to much anxiety. Feel really good about it as i was there about 5 weeks ago and felt awful with the anxiety.
Hope everyones day has been good and we all get a good nights sleep.
Mac
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Don't do too much once you begin to feel better or you will use up the energy levels!
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That's great mac, hairdressers tricky sometimes, especially if you getting colour or something which takes a while, so well done.
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Hi Ladies
After having a really good day yesterday and feeling positive I was getting better and looking foward to holiday etc, today has been not so good.
Woke up feeling jittery and anxious, should have been taking my daughter to Glasgow to shop for holiday but could'nt make it. Had to do with going to shop where we live. So very tired and can't be bothered with anything and feeling very emontional. Hubby gave me a hug and said "can he please have the old me back". With that, floods of tears :(
I feel with angry with this menopause >:( and dreading having to tolerate this for years to come.
Hope everyone else has had a better day.
Mac
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:hug: Mac.
I'm sure that things will improve for you. It's just a case of finding the right treatment regime. I remember bursting into tears just before starting HRT and saying "But what if it doesn't work" and OH hugging me and saying "Well, we'll just keep trying things until we find something which does work." Bless. I was very lucky in that it did work for me but it took a while and at times it was hard to "keep the faith." Coming on here and off-loading, or just reading posts, really helped. :foryou:
Bette x
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Mac
Sorry you're not feeling so good today. I had a good day yesterday as well but rubbish today. Just holding on to the thought that tomorrow will be better. I'm supposed to be going into Glasgow on thursday to meet my sister for afternoon tea but will have to wait and see what I feel like.
When do you go your holiday?
Anne B
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Hi Ladies
Thank you for being there, your right Bette coming on here does help. I suppose that at the age of 45 I keep thinking OMG i could be like this for years. After the last 2 HRT's and the problems with them I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to take any. I've been on Citalopram for 3 weeks now and although it has helped i have suffered all the side effects so maybe I just need to give it a bit longer.
Anne B going on holiday on the 2nd July, like you holding on to the thought that tomorrow will be better.
:foryou: all
Mac
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It's only a blip Mac, you will get back on track.
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Mac, bad days so disheartening, so have a :bighug:
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Mac, it's so disheartening isn't it when you have bad days after seeing an improvement? This is happening to me too at the moment :(
We have just got to think that it WILL end and get through one day at a time. I am trying to see this whole thing in a more positive way than I have been lately but its not that easy. Am sending you a :hug: and hoping that today will be a better day for you and everyone else who is suffering at the moment.
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Hi Ladies
Still the same as yesterday. Feeling anxious and shaky. My friend is supposed to be coming for lunch but I think I will have to cancel. Just feel like crying all the time and I don't want her to see me like this. Was hoping for a miracle with my new patch but I suppose it's only been a couple of days on it. I am a bit paranoid that it's not going to work after my previous 3 failed attempts.
I hope you are all having a better day.
Anne B
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:hug: Anne
It's such early days on your new regime that, sadly, it's unlikely that you'll be feeling the effect yet. There's absolutely no reason to think that you won't get there but a surgical menopause is such a shock to the system that sadly it's natural for it to take a while to get back on an even keel.
Maybe seeing your friend for lunch will distract you a bit and help? I'm a fine one to talk though; I avoided everyone except OH during my peri meltdown. ::)
Bette x
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Sending you a big hug Anne B, sorry you are feeling so rubbish
You should let your friend come for lunch, if she is a good friend she will be very understanding and it will help you to share.
Try to remain positive about your HRT(easy to say, I know) - a positive mind is helpful in making things work. It will take time
You have been through a lot, you will get there, be kind to yourself and hang in there , good days will come eventually
Hope your day gets better. (http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/hug/t4603.gif) (http://yoursmiles.org/t-hug.php)
Purplenanny x x
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Thanks Bette and Purplenanny
Just feeling sorry for myself. This is just so hard because I feel I am not the outgoing and energetic person I used to be. I want to get back to work after such a long absence but I am not physically or hormonally ready yet.
My friend is great but the last time she saw me I was a wreck and couldn't stop crying or focus on the conversation. Don't think I can do it again today.
Supposed to be trying to go for walks each day to build up my fitness but last couple of days I have felt so awful that I can't even go outside. Will see how I am later on and give it a go.
Thanks for listening to the mad meno woman.
Anne B
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Any time! :foryou:
Bette x
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Don't worry about crying - it is good to release it. I usually find when I feel like you do I seem to listen to sad music or think about family long departed, then I end up crying for England!
A gentle short walk wil be good and when you return home you will be pleased you have achieved.
Take a day at a time, you will get there.
Purplenanny x x
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Anne B, I am very sorry that you are still feeling so bad. I hope that you do manage to have lunch with your friend as that may distract you and it's always good to have a chat - I'm sure she'll understand if you're not your usual self.
I have my fingers crossed that your day improves. Best wishes x
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Thanks Ladies
I appreciate your kind words. Going to try and have a wee walk. You're correct that it will probabaly make me feel better.
Horsie - know what you mean - was thinking about my two good friends who died last year and were only in their 50s and couldn't stop crying. I miss them so much and feel I should be much stronger than this because after all it's only hormones and it surely will get better!
Many thanks
Anne B
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Anne keep going. The meno journey a roller coaster it will eventually stop. X
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JJ, I'd give an awful lot to know when! ;D x
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Hi Ladies
A bit better today :( Anne B hope your day got better and you were able to have your walk and your friend came to lunch.
Had to discuss canceling holiday with children, if I don't feel any better. To say they are devasted is an under statement :(
Mac
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Horsie, me too ::)
Mac, what a shame , but no good forcing yourself if you not up to it. I'm trying to persuade myself to book hol , would love some sun, wish someone would just pick me up and put me on warm sunny beach :)
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Hi JJ
I wish the same :) I know i'm being irrational but this anxiety is so awful. Does it stop when your post menopausal?
Mac
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Try not to worry about it, Mac, there'll be plenty of other holidays.
I had a year when I really couldn't face going away. Then the following August (nearly a year into HRT) we had a weekend away for our 25th wedding anniversary; it was "OK" but I wasn't 100% and I remember getting upset on "the" day because I thought that I was spoiling it and OH said "Don't worry about it, we've got 364 more days to celebrate it." Bless. :wub: A couple of months later, we had a week away and it was fine; same the following year. Now the holiday-less summer is a distant memory and really doesn't seem at all important.
Bette x
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I'm praying it does, I'm still peri and still up and down with the anxiety, lots of hot flushes, in fact they increasing , anxiety not where it was ,some weeks/ days better than others, get more anxious over things like dentist appts etc than before all this started. sometimes I feel normal and sometimes anxiety just comes from nowhere. Couldn't have gone away last year but if I book holiday soon it will be my second one this year. :)
Perhaps you could manage a break not too far from home or just have some nice days out, that way there's not too much pressure.
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Thanks Bette. I was hoping the AD's would have really kicked in by now.
Mac
JJ great to hear you have been on holiday, gives me hope. Have an appointment with GP on Tuesday so will see how it goes.
Mac
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Oh Bette, your OH sounds so lovely. I would be willing to do a swap but I suspect you would be getting a raw deal and I couldn't inflict that misery on such a good person as yourself. My OH is a good guy but gives Victor Meldrew a run for his money. Don't know how I haven't lost my sanity long before the menopause.
Still dream of George Clooney on a regular basis then open my eyes and reality hits.
Cheers
Anne B
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Took a while for my anti depressants to help, for me, it was slow and subtle improvements and I still have set backs, but they don't last .
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Thats reassuring JJ I will have been on mine for 3 weeks this Wednesday and I have read that they can take 4-6 weeks to really begin to help.
Anne B how was your day?
Mac
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Mac
Hope you feel better soon and that the doctor can be of help to you.
My anxiety improved a wee bit as the day went on but is still hovering in the background.
I cancelled lunch with my friend and she was very understanding.
I cannot even contemplate a holiday at the moment but my family are old enough to go on their own if wished.
I know you must feel guilty about possibly cancelling but your children will get over it. You know what your limitations are and no point in pushing yourself over the limit.
After spending a small fortune in taking my daughter abroad in Europe and to Florida several times she told me fairly recently the best holiday she had was at her Gran's house (30 miles away) with a paddling pool in the back garden.
Don't fret too much as my friend says 'It is what it is'
Take care
Anne B
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Hi Anne B - did you manage to make your walk? x x
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Purplenanny
No walk I'm afraid. Been doing my pelvic floor excercises and running up and down the stairs. Not even out of my PJs from this morning. Will treat myself to a shower and a fresh pair. What an exciting life I lead. Not a footie fan but for some reason watching the England game. I am a Scot but contrary to popular belief we all don't want them to lose.
Hope you are having a good evening.
Anne B
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Hi AnneB
Well done for doing all that exercise, even though you didn't manage your walk. Made me tired just thinking about the stairs!
Enjoy your shower and clean PJ's. For some strange reason I also watched the footie - hate it normally. It has ended now and I have gone back to finding a waste of time!!
Sweet dreams - a new day tomorrow. Hope it finds you feeling more positive.
Purplenanny x x
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Oh it's such a nuisance: shall we, shan't we go; have we the energy for that walk or is it easier to stay home ..... instead of getting on with 'it' we worry. Lose confidence. Anticipation for me is worse than the event but that doesn't take away or stop those awful feelings >:(
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The opinion of the ladies here would be welcome.
Since increasing my HRT patch dose on thursday evening I have been experiencing
Palpitations
Weepiness
Spaced out feeling
Skin tingling- hands/face and legs
Fatigue
increased anxiety
Do you think this is just my body reacting to the increase in oestrogen and is part of the settling in period?
Feel such a wreck and not thinking clearly but hope this is a temporary thing.
Many thanks
Anne B
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Frustratingly, I think that these things could be caused by increase in estrogen or meno symptoms which aren't yet being helped by the estrogen. Quite possibly a mixture. :-\ Sorry it that's confusing but one of the big problems with starting/adjusting HRT seems to be figuring out if symptoms are side-effects or would have happened anyway. You may never know, as when they go (which they hopefully will) you won't know if they were side-effects which passed or meno symptoms which settled once the HRT was working. ::)
Try to stick with it; hopefully things will improve soon. :foryou:
Are you keeping a symptom diary? That can help you to see longer term patterns which you might have missed otherwise.
Bette x
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Anne b hope you feel better soon x
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Thanks Bette
Yes I am keeping a symptom diary.
I am grateful for your reply. I know it makes sense it's just my brain isn't functioning rationally at the moment. I am going to try and ride this out by giving it a few weeks and see if things settle. Just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself and then feel guilty when I read about Trey and Don's situation. Played the Snow Patrol song and haven't stopped crying since.
I got a phone call from my boss at work proposing that I be given a laptop to do some work from home. This would be reviewing policy and procedure documents and making necessary adjustments. I did point out to him that at the moment my concentration is zero and since I haven't been in the department for 6 months then I won't know if any procedures have changed. This has sent me into a panic and made me even more anxious. Don't know what to do but I am taking my union rep with me to an HR meeting on Wednesday. That should be interesting with my hormonal shaking and crying!
Anne B
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Sensible having HR with you. The last thing you need is work pressure. x
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JJ
What I can't get my head around is the fact that I am medically signed off sick. I would give anything to be well enough to be back at work. I have hardly been off sick in nearly 30yrs working for the NHS and the fact that I will be going on to half pay soon I think should be an indicator to the organisation that I'm not 'at it'. If I were off with a broken leg and could do some work from home then I could maybe see the point but my difficult recovery from surgery with a cancer diagnosis and surgical menopause I think is a whole different ball game.
I find this so upsetting but then I find everything upsetting at the moment!
I just long for the old me back again with the zest for life that I had. My family are suffering because of this as well and I'm sure would like some semblance of normality back.
I am so grateful for the support of everyone on this forum as otherwise I think I would go truly off the rails.
Many thanks
Anne B
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Surely if you're medically signed off sick your boss shouldn't be ringing suggesting that you work from home? Unless he's trying to be helpful and enable you to stay on full pay? So pleased that you're taking a union rep with you.
Sorry if the song made you cry - if it's any consolation, it made me cry too but I decided to share it as Trey mentioned it. Sometimes I think tears are good - I realised that I was crying for me and my Mum as well as for Trey and Don and that's fine, it's as it should be. In fact, I'm off again now. :'( ::)
Please don't feel guilty, your problems are real and difficult to cope with and Trey would be the first to say that, I know. :hug:
Bette x
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Thanks Bette
I think you might be right in the fact that it might be a way to avoid half pay. At the moment though my health is my overriding concern and not the finances. It won't be easy but we'll manage. I'm not exactly out painting the town red so have been saving that way.
Thanks for your kind words
Anne B
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Hi AnneB
Sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope your meeting goes okay. Don't be forced into anything you are not comfortable with, your health must come first.
I hope you have a good night and feel a bit brighter tomorrow
Thinking of you and sending hugs :bighug: (http://:bighug:)
Purplenanny x x
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Thanks Purplenanny
Hope you have a good nights sleep.
Anne B
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Anne B
Hope your day has been better. Your right to take a union rep to your HR meeting next week, i used to be quite involved with unions and the NHS! This meeting will only be to inform you officially that your going on half pay. Your boss may have been trying to help with the suggestion from working from home but i would have that discussion with him before the meeting.
As for me, yesterday morning was a bit off but got better and made it to my son's school play and I am so very proud of him and what he has achieved. I'm proud of myself for going. I also made it to the leavers assembly today. ;D
Went to the docs this morning and she sees an improvement and so do i :) so continue with what i am taking and as she said the good days will eventually outride the bad days (soon I hope).
So i have given myself a kick up the a*** :kick: Went shopping today and bought myself a kindle for my flight next week!!! Yes I am GOING on holiday!! Brave words from a mad menopausal women. Might be back in a few days saying I'm not going ???
I have already downloaded "Fifty Shades of Grey" so looking foward to that read ;)
Macxxx
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Mac
I'm glad you are going in the right direction. I am nearly finished 50 shades of Grey. Well you'll certainly be flushing as you read that book!
Glad you feel up to your holiday.
Anne B
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I've got Shades of Grey on my Kindle but haven't dared to start reading it yet! :rofl: perhaps I should start straight away if only to focus on something else other than how c..p I feel at the moment :-\
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If anyone would like to send me a copy ;D :D ......... I must make a note on my shopping list :whist:
are we all less confused and sad now .............. ???
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Suppose you could say it is pornographic. No pictures though. Didn't stop me from reading it.
Possibly not to everyone's taste but it's been so well publicised that the gist of the content is obvious so if you don't agree with that type of book then don't buy it.
Did make me wonder that I must have lead a very sheltered sexual life. In fact no sex life for the past year so that's why I have resorted to 50 shades.
Away to read the last couple of chapters.
Anne B
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Hi CLKD
As you said little steps but definately less confused and sad. Score 6-7 out of 10, first time in a long time!!! :)
Hope your okay.
Macxx
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Mac that's great .
Also, gonna have to succumb and buy 50 shades to see what all the media hoo ha is about!
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6-7/10 is a great improvement Mac. Glad you are feeling a lot better.
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They were talking about 50 shades on the radio today. They are going to make it into a film. I must pick up a copy.
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Himself has read about it on BBC News web-site - apparently. Wonder if he will read it too ;)
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Hi,
haven't been on for a while but just read some of the posts.
I have had a couple of good days, but this afternoon felt the anxiety creeping up on me but I think I have done too much. Had to drive some friends back to the airport this morning and cos I live in Spain I haven't driven to airport on my own with a U.K car on wrong side of road. I drive around but not long journeys and OH is going home next week to U.K for a few days and that is stressing me a bit. and also lack of sleep cos it is unbearingly hot here at night.
mac, so glad you are going on holiday, I hope you have a fantastic time. I am sure you are just having little blips at mo and will feel a lot better soon. A 6-7/10 sounds pretty good.
AnneB I am sorry you are not feeling good yet. What patch do you take and what dosage? I am thinking of trying a patch next not that I can be bothered with trying something else but it is the only thing I haven't tried yet. Hope you feel better soon.
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Paisley - you did good :medal: I tend to avoid issues until I have to do them so rarely drive alone these days. As for on the 'wrong' side fo the road, what are they like ......... we're in Europe now, they should change to our side ;D
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Thanks CLKD, you are right they should.
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Hi Paisley
Good to hear from you. I've been thinking about you because you've not been on :) You did really well to drive to the airport, not easy on the wrong side of the road. Strangley I find it easier than the right side!!!! Great you've had some good days. I did have a good day yesterday and as today has progressed its been good too, althought his morning I did post that I was only a 4 out of ten. I know what you mean about OH going away. I used to love having the place to myself and have the girls around but now I don't look foward to it as much. Organise some treats for yourself while hes away, massage, facial etc.
Macxxx
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Thanks mac, from your posts I can def see an improvement and your ups and downs are a good sign cos I feel that you are def having more ups than you did. Long may it continue.
I think you are right I will just have to keep myself and my little boy busy perhaps go out for days, it's just too bloomin hot to do anything.
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Or early walks; followed by lazing - reading, drawing, colouring-in - then walks in the evenings when it's cooler. Has he settled?
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Sorry CLKD,
just read your message and that sounds nice. I am having an afternoon siesta at mo. Well while in Rome do as the Romans do except it is Spain. Yes he loves it here, he is in the pool twice a day. It is such a better quality of life for him. Thanks
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Oh I'd be in the pool if it were sunny and if we had one ::) - how are *you*?
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I think I am getting over ADs now and back to feeling ok for a week and a half then rest of time very emotionally hormonal. I can feel it coming, get aches and pains in legs more mood swings, then a few days later anger, more anxiety and then the waterworks starts, this lasts for a week and then start to feel better. I can't fathom it out. I had a full hyster, no ovaries and don't know why I keep getting fluctuations.
Sorry for ramble CLKD.
How are you?
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You ramble! I'm fine. Sort of.
Hormones are still controlled by various parts of the body, the adrenal glands can be a nuisance at times, it's not simply progesterone and oestrogen! Insulin, adrenaline etc. can all cause us to feel weird and 'off'!
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Yes I think I forget about the other hormones in our bodies. I just think cos I have no ovaries then why am I still fluctuating but there is the stress hormone as well isn't there.
How are you sort of fine? You are here for everyone else but what about you?
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OH thank you. Well: himself is off to France, the 1st time we've been apart for 3 years and the first time we've slept apart since I can't remember when ::) and whilst I'm not worried: yet: I will be so pleased to see him back home, his first adventure since he married me in 1975 ;D and I can't wait to hear all his news :-*
So tired. A bit anxious. Keeping busy, have a list of chores to do whilst he's away .......... :whist:
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Know exactly what you mean. I have already told you my OH is going back to U.K on Friday only for 4 days but we are hardly ever apart. I think in 25 years of marriage we have only been apart for a few days but being in meno makes everything harder. I have really behaved like a spoilt child over this. He is going back to see his mum and we are all going back in August for a week so I keep saying why doesn't he wait til then. Earlier this week I hardly spoke to him cos he was going. I feel like it's his mother or me but it isn't like that at all, it is just me being completely stupid. I will do what you said keep myself busy and plan something for every day. Yours will be back before you know it.
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Hope so! I would feel the same though, if we were 'going' in August why have 2 trips ::)
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I am glad you think the same as me, I have a sneaky feeling that he is going out with a friend on Saturday night and also he is being very nice and creepy to me which makes me think he is feeling guilty about leaving me menopausal
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;D ......... tell him 'all your sins will find you out ' ;)
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I suppose: that I worry about him going with all the troubles in the World so want him back so I know whether he's had a good time ::) - no fixed leaving date yet >:(
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Hello ladies
Hope the last 2 weeks have been good for you all. I survived the holiday :) The flight going was a bit scary but was able to cope. The first 10 days were fab and i felt great. The last four days were not that great but still managed to enjoy the time with the family. Not sure what caused the increae in the anxiety but I did start another period so could have been related to that. Also felt that the side effects of the AD;s had returned with a vengence, don't know if thats common to citalopram but I think i read that it can happen during the 5th and 6th week before they settle down again.
Weather was fab, as was the hotel and all the amenities.
Back at work tomorrow after 7 weeks off, a bit scared and worried.
Macxxxx
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Glad you had a great time and enjoyed the time with your family. Hope all goes well tomorrow.
Welcome back.
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So glad you enjoyed the holiday. Isn't it terrible when you say you survived the holiday, it is meant to be enjoyment isn't it, it feels like surviving though. I am sure the last few days were just a blip for you.
I have had nearly 3 weeks of not feeling bad with blips along the way ie OH going back to U.K for a few days and me being on my own with little boy but I survived. Today was another blip suddenly out of no where felt really weepy, anxious and anxiety but seemed to pass in a few hours, always think it wont but it does.
Anne B how are you?
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Hi Paisley
I am not too bad thanks. Started my AD 2 weeks ago so fingers crossed helps my anxiety and low mood. Going to meno specialist next Friday to hopefully make some progress on HRT front. High dose patch still not doing the trick.
Maybe I should come and stay with you for a while since I keep getting intense chills and can't get a heat in me. Got the central heating on in July !
Have a wee bubble to myself most days and feel shaky and anxious but as you say it usually passes.
Managed to eat a real dinner tonight - lamb and veg. Think that's the first proper meal I've had in months so that's a step forward.
I'm glad you coped well being on your own with your wee boy. It can't be easy for you but I think it proves how strong you actually are.
Hope you continue to have more and more better days.
Take care and be good to yourself
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So glad you had a lovely time on holiday and wishing you all the luck returning to work
Nelliedee x
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AnneB, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better and hope ADs do some good for you. Your patch just doesn't sound like it is getting into your system does it?
Let me know how you get on at meno specialist. Which one are you going to?
Had another blip today, don't know where they come from, one min I feel ok and then wham it hits me in the face.
Take care x
PS made me hungry when you spoke about lamb, it's my favourite
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Hi Paisley
I came off the AD because it was making me sweat profusely and spaced out. Not what I need right now. I am going to the Nuffield in Glasgow. My hormone levels came back today and oest/FSH just the same as several weeks ago (not great). Think you are right and the patch isn't doing much for me. Don't know where I'll go from here but holding out hope that the specialist will be able to sort me out. This is just so frustrating.
Felt relatively ok this morning but not so great this afternoon. Was going to go for a wee walk but fatigue has hit me big time. Maybe later.
Hope your day improves.
Anne B
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Have to heard of transbuccal hrt? It is an oestrogen tablet but it is dissolved in the mouth, under the tongue and so it gets absorbed in your system and blood stream and unlike oral hrt , it dissolves so it by passes the liver. I really hope you get some help from the gynae. I feel like I am going 1 step forward and 10 back. I haven't tested my oestrogen for ages so don't really know what it is. Feel so tired but have been going to bed too late and I don't think that helps.
Take care x
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I heard about this around five years ago paisley but haven't seen much mention of it since. I would never have the patience to keep it in place, free of saliva, for the thirty minutes or so that is required. If you allow it to dissolve into saliva then it is still deposited in the stomach so will go through the liver. Have you tried it?
Taz x
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Hi Paisley
I have heard of transbuccal HRT but was a wee bit wary as I had heard it can 'slam' into your system and give side effects. Obviously it must work very well for some women but I'm a big scardey cat when it comes to change. Wondered about Oestrogel and spacing applications to avoid fluctuations. Don't really know what to do but hopefully the specialist guy will come up with a reasonable plan.
The tiredness is awful isn't it?
Are you coping any better with the heat?
Anne B
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I am sort of getting used to the heat but sometimes it gets over 40 and I hate that as I feel so drained. If I feel bad the heat just makes me feel worse but if I feel ok then it is fine. Sorry for moaning about heat when it has rained so much in U.K.
I have never tried the transbuccal but I have been on survivors guide to the menopause and there is some info on there about it, it says it is quite successful.
I have also tried the oestrogel, wasn't that good for me cos it seemed to give me lots more fluctuations but others have taken it and felt great. I wish there was 1 thing that just worked for everyone. Hate that all our bodies are different and that things work well for some and not others.
The specialist you are going to see must have seen all sorts of different cases of people struggling with hrt.
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Paisley
40 degrees is a bit much to handle at the best of times. I've got the heating on! Mind you I think it's just the way I am at the moment with the chills. Don't seem to get hot but sweating with chills - unbelievable!
Can't believe how hormones can cause so many different symptoms. Feel as if I've turned into a hypochondriac.
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Hate hormones and what they do to us. I have had nearly 3 weeks of feeling okish then bam feel just as bad again. Feel so weepy tonight. There is no rythme or reason to it. Now I am think the last 2 nights I went to bed really late and a bit too much to drink on Sat night so wondering if I feel worse cos of that. I have to have an answer all the time on why I feel the way I do. It is horrible to be like this isn't it cos you never know how you are going to feel from 1 day to the next although I usually see it coming over a few days.
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Hopefully tomorrow will be much better Paisley. We live in hope.
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I think that I always have wanted answers for things. Today I have basically cried all day. Had to go in a supermarket and was wondering if I could get around and out without crying. I had to stop B vits, magnesium and vit D a couple of weeks ago cos ran out and didn't know where I could get some more cos of Spain but found some and I kept thinking I feel this bad cos I stopped them, now I will be convinced cos in Spain I can't get 2mg of progynova and will have to take 2 x 1mg in morning and 1mg at night that this will somehow have an effect on me as well. Gosh I felt so so weepy today, I think I will have to try and find someone here in Spain, I have already searched but can't find any specialist meno experts. I am okayish for a couple of weeks then suddenly feel awful again.
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Have you thought of emailing Dr Currie, paisley?
Bette x
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Hi Paisley
Really sorry to hear your having a bad time at the moment. Hope you feel better tomorrow. I think Bette's suggestion is good. You would be able to get an expert's opinion.
I'm also like you in that I have to know what causes what as it allows me to deal with it, but also sometimes I think the meno throws so many different problems at us that there is not always an easy answer or solution. Don't blame yourself for trying to have a normal life you could have felt like this even if you didn't have a drink or stay up late.
A very big hug from me.
Macxxx
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Thanks Bette and mac, yes I have spoke to Dr Currie and she recommended Estradot patch and to start with a 50 and see how that goes, she also said to watch diet and eat more veg and salads and less sugar as sugar is bad for meno symptoms and recently I have had a sugar surge. I am so wary of starting anything new cos of side effects but first I need to get a doctor here and see if they do Estradot here.
I really would like a few months of normality, whatever that is.
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Hi Paisley
I'm so sorry you feel so rubbish. Had a wee bit of a greety day myself.
Hope you can get Estradot because it is a really good wee patch. It's discreet and sticks well. OK, I'm on the 100mcg patch and oestrogen still low but nothing is ever straightforward for me!
Many women swear by it so it is definitely worth a go.
Good luck and take care.
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I have an appointment with a gynae on Friday in Spain, the only prob is he charges 110 euros, which is about £80, I cant have many of those. My OH had a good idea why don't I have oestrogen tests done when I feel good and bad and see what the difference is so I am going to ask him that or if not you can order the tests online. I know you have to try new hrt but cos I have tried a few I am sort of thinking really negative about it and thinking if the others did no good then the new one wont either. Still feeling weepy today and so tired, I sometimes feel that this is going to be my life now and so confused to what to do next, feel stuck. I am trying to work it out logically but it isn't that easy, there is something making me feel like this, only wish I knew what it was. I think the longer you feel like this the harder it is to think positive.
Thanks for your replies
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Paisley
Sorry to hear you are still struggling. In my experience oral HRT didn't work for me - oest level way too low but I also felt as if I had fluctuations which my body did not like one bit. Have you considered a patch which should give a trickle dose with possibly less chance of fluctuations?
Hopefully the gyn person will be able to give you good direction.
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Thanks AnneB,
yes, I think that will be my next option as I do think the oral hrt does gives me too many fluctuations. There is a family next door and they are having so much fun in the pool and do you know they are really annoying me cos I feel so awful. I keep looking at other women and they are coping perfectly ok and then I look at me and wonder why I don't. Life at mo seems so self absorbed in meno and looking on the internet. Hate doing it but can't help myself, I think it is a woman's way of trying to fix things.
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Feel the same as you Paisley.
My neighbours kids are out in the garden playing and it sounds like an army is out there. No tolerance for the noise and how dare they enjoy themselves!
I had to sit and listen to my neighbour today telling me that she breezed through the menopause and really I should be getting over it and going back to work. The fact that she reduced me to tears didn't seem to bother her. Tried to tell her that I was also coping with post-op pain as well but she shrugged and said that plenty of women have hysterectomies without problems. True, just wish I was one of them.
Don't think I'll be entering into any conversations with her again.
Went for a walk and spoke to a wee lady who sits in her garden down the back lane. We've become quite friendly. I was moaning about myself again then as I was leaving she told me she had just been diagnosed with cancer of the ear (unusual I would think). Felt so guilty because I feel I am so self obsessed by menopause I must bore the living daylights out of everybody and they have their own trials and tribulations as well. Went home and had another good bubble to myself. Can't control my emotions anymore.
I think you should give the patches a go Paisley.
Good Luck
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Arrhhh AnneB, at least we know how it feels and I bet you felt like hitting your neighbour, I would have been so tempted. How dare she say that to you, you are struggling like me and don't need that sort of criticism from anyone. I wish she had it for a week and see how she would feel. A hysterectomy is about physical and mental and I don't think people appreciate how bad it is, it messes with your body as well as your hormones. I don't think you should feel guilty and I know it very sad for the old lady (never heard of that cancer either) but you aren't feeling right either and I think emotional things are just as bad as physical. Don't be hard on yourself. I think it is only natural to be obssessed with it as it something that affects everything we do. If we had a broken arm we could still carry on because it isn't affecting us mentally. I can't seem to spell anymore.
Think you are right about patches and I am really hoping FRiday with meno clinic has a good outcome, I am sure they will be able to
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Thanks Paisley. Hope you have a good evening.
Take care.
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Dear Pisley and Anne B
Just wanted to send you both a hug as i can't offer you any constructive advice. Well apart from IGNORE your neighbours they don't know what your going through, easier said than done I know.
Good luck with your appointments I really hope you get some positive solutions.
Thinking of you both.
Macxx
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Thanks Mac
Thank goodness for mansize tissues. I must be keeping the tissue industry afloat with the amount of crying I do! Surprised I haven't shrivelled up with dehydration.
I do sound like a right miserable sod but honestly I do laugh occasionally.
Cheers
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Thanks Susan
Think I could have resorted to physical violence if I wasn't so knackerd.
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Thanks mac, susan and Anne,
I will say it again, I really do not know what I would do without this site. You are so encouraging. Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it, God I am so emotional. Thanks for all your replies.
It makes a world of difference talking to women who know exactly what you are going through and so supportive. Emotional words over.
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" ............ of changing and it might making things worse ........ " :'( I was like that when I couldn't eat. Although I felt ill and was told that if I had food my body would feel better: what if I felt worse :o so I was physically unable to eat. Existed on very little for 4/5 years. Then I began to listen on the days that I could eat and gradually ::)
:bighug:
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Anne B - why do you engage with this woman ? Gradually knock her out of your Life? When I had breast cancer in 1995 I ditched many people who were around me: some were toxic, others not interested in my problems, some couldn't get a grasp on exactly what radiation treatment entailed .......... so slowly my C.mas card list dwindled ;).
You are who you are and your symptoms make you feel ill. If you had a plaster etc., I often wonder too why we tell neighbours our most intimate problems .......... I have become less open in the last few years. It does become easier to keep stuff to myself ..........
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So right CLKD
Think I confided in her because was feeling quite lonely. My days run in to each other at the moment and all my troubles seemed to tumble out of my mouth whilst having a normal wee chat with her. Was quite shocked at her attitude as she is a nurse and I thought she would be a bit more compassionate. Anyway you learn your lesson don't you.
Definitely off the Xmas card list!
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Fleurie
Thanks for your words of wisdom.
You're not going to believe it but the aforementioned neighbour has just been to my door and asked if I will feed her 2 cats over the weekend as she is going to her caravan for a much needed destress break.
You have got to be kidding? No chance.
Told her a wee porkie pie that I was going to my Sister's house for the weekend.
Should I feel as guilty as I do?
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Oh Susan
Don't know whether to laugh or cry. I like the cats just not the owner! Frightened now that she doesn't go away and I'll have to hide in the house all weekend with the blinds shut!
On another note. Yeah, I am totally batty. Changed my patch on Tues night thinking it was Wed night. Still have to keep checking the TV to tell me what day it is today. The brain has been totally fried with being at home for 7 months. I definitely need to get sorted out and get a routine.
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Hi ladies,
Not been on for couple of weeks as have Been on hols, was dreading it as kept feeling a bit sick a few days beforehand, but once on plane I was ok,
It was 41/2 hour flight. I felt great all week, hotel really fab can't stress enough if you want to go abroad all inclusive go to an alantica hotel they have 15 hotels all over and it's the only hotel in fifteen years that I gave excellent rating for food, rooms pool, well lots of them, service etc.
Came back and after 24 hrs of bad weather felt ill again, am wondering if vit d deficient.
Still don't feel much better after taking thyroxin for two months, I'm getting antibodies tested at next blood test.
I know what you means about being knackered all the time, I keep thinking maybe it's all just menopause, an now seem to feel stomach acid after eating certain fruits.
I keep thinking will I ever be well? Mac I hope work went ok, I remember going bact after several months off, I was shaking and so nervous, and quite often spoke to customers and my words just came out backwards, and the lights were terrible, made me feel spaced out, but aren't nearly as bad now HRT has at least done something well looking back really loads actually. So keep positive, I still can only cope with two hours at a time, I'm on my feet most of the time and work in a well known store Ar**s and love it if only I didn't start feeling I'll 3/4 of the way through my shift.
They are brilliant at work and very understanding, as I have ms as well think they expect me to collapse or something I'd I do too much.
Remember mac at work when and if you have a meno blip just keep saying to yourself I CAN DO IT,
I hope every one gets sorted, god I wonder if we will still be on here in the next few years! Symptom free I hope.
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Smokey
Glad you had a great holiday. Which country were you in?
I am Vit D deficient and have been taking high dose supplements for 2 months so far. Probably a fairly large proportion of the country are deficient and don't know it. You should ask to be tested along with your Thyroid antibodies.
Welcome back and hope you feel better soon.
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Thanks Ann B
We went to Cyprus and it was very hot 95-100 some of the time, when we left air-conditioned room it was like having a fan heater blowing into your face, with out the fan bit, but I don't mind the heat as the one thing I don't get is hot flushes, well not yet anyway.
What sort of symptom did you get dor vit d deficientcy I know fatigue and my arms really ache when drying my hair, but that could be due to old age am 47 but my brain still feels 18 and my body 90.
Oh year I've done the patch mix up too!
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Smokey
Went to Cyprus a few years ago on one of these allocation on arrivals deals and ended up in Aya Napa at a club 18 to 30s club. That was an interesting experience to say the least. Had a laugh when I saw my OH eyeing up a tall blonde in a miniskirt from behind but when she turned round was a man. Cyprus is beautiful and I would like to go back some day but probably with the SAGA club!
With the Vit D deficiency I had really sore joints and extreme fatigue. Still have to a certain extent but I think now that's more due to my low oestrogen level at the moment. My GP prescribed me 5 months of Vit D capsules - not the chewable tablets (disgusting stuff). I make sure I take a multivitamin with calcium but no Vit D included as well as drinking more milk.
47 is too young to be feeling the way you do but I'm sure you will get sorted out and regain your vigour.
Cheers
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Anne B - so your sister was taken ill so you chose to stay home ;) - have the answer ready and DROP the guilt ;D
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CLKD
Good advice. Thanks.
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AnnB
That's so funny I would love to have had a look at his face!
We also went to Aya Napa the hotel is known for having the largest pool in Cyprus, we didn't venture to the beach as this time of year its full of teenagers partying.
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Oh to be a partying teenager again. A distant memory. Sigh!
Used to be a right party animal now feel like a bit of a fossil. I look at an elderly neighbour who has a very busy social life and has recently been 'stepping out' with a new man. They are both 80 and I see them walking hand in hand on the way to their dance night at the local community centre looking so fit and happy. They make me smile.
There's hope for me yet.
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Hin Ladies and welcome back Smokey. Great to hear you had a great holiday. Second week back at work but thankfully it was a bank holiday on Monday so only 4 days this week. Feels like I've never been away :D Everyone keeps asking if I'm glad to be back, and are a bit suprised when i say "yes", I tell them it's good to feel well enough to be back!!. I am very lucky as i have a very understanding team. My occupational health dept recomended that i do a phased return so my boss is trying to sort with HR that i take a day off per week for 6-8 weeks so that i don't lose any pay, because I had said that I wanted to reduce my hours for about 3 months so that i can try and adjust.
Interestingly, my thyroid is still not stable (just like the rest of me! :)) When the results came back in May my level was 5.8 and now its 0.12, which could explain why I felt rotten the last week of my holiday. Feeling better now that my thyroxine has been reduced.
I'm like you Anne B and feel like a fossil and I'm 45 soon to be 46!! BUT i am so intent on being a party animal again ;D I am envious (in a nice way) of my teenage daughter who is full of life and fun.
Paisley hope your day has been better.
Mac
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Mac
That's great that you are back to work and hopefully being able to do a phased retun and reduced hours for a while is a great idea. I'd love to be well enough to get back. I know it will happen but it's just taking too long for my liking.
No wonder you felt so out of sorts on holiday.
Keep well
Anne B
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Hi,
thanks again for all your support. Felt rotten again today, so weepy, cried all morning, couldn't stop and fed up of sweating all day in this heat. Had to take my little boy to another one of those Spanish parties that go on for ever and you can't leave. Anyway near the end they had a pinnatta(is that how you spell it) the thing you wack and sweets come out. My son is only 4 so you can imagine 4 years have no strength and they couldn't open it so I said can I have a go, I bent the washing pole bashing it, I really put all my strength into it and all my tension just came out in the pinnatta, I must have looked like a maniac, people said you must hate someone very much the way you hit it, I was like a mad woman, but it did help a bit. Made me realize how much tension and anger builds up inside cos you come across normal to other people but you are trying so hard to be like this, hitting that pinnatta made me realize how much anger and tension is in me
AnneB good luck tomorrow
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Thanks Paisley.
Sorry you're still feeling rotten.
Maybe you should get a load of these things for your own use and have a good bash at them to vent your frustration and tension.
Listened to a relaxation tape this morning and honestly I think I was worse afterwards. Think my brain must be wired up weirdly.
Hope you get some rest tonight and feel better tomorrow.
Take care.
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Hi Paisley
At least the Pingatta helped. It must be really difficult coping in that heat, I found it difficult some days on holiday. I go for a brisk walk when i have these feelings but in that heat I'm sure its not something you could do. What about a swim?
Hope you sleep well.
Macxxxx
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AnneB how did you get on on Friday? I hope much better than me?
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Hi Paisley
I posted on How are You Today thread last night.
To cut a long story short I am to use 2x100 patches at a time.
The consultant was very good and will follow me up at his NHS clinic in future so I don't have to pay.
I know this isn't a miracle cure for my anxiety and I probably have to come to terms with what's happened to me health wise over the last few months to be 'cured' but hopefully upping my oestrogen will help a bit.
I have posted on your other thread regarding your disappointing visit to Spanish doc.
Cheers
Anne
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I really hope that it goes some way to making a difference to how you feel.
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Thanks Paisley.
Time will tell. I have been saying that for 6 months now!
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Hey mac - well done in getting back to work! You must be so pleased at your steady recovery - it's really good to hear. I too am 45 and soon to be 46! It feels too young to be dealing with all this meno stuff doesn't it! Xxx
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Hi Hot and Spicy
Thank you. Still having some off days but on the whole a lot better than I was. Your right far to young to be dealing with this :) but then its horrible at any age.
Macxxx
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Hi Ladies
I thought I would update you on my year since I started this thread. When I started this post I thought I would never recover from how I was feeling. My anxiety and feeling so ill was overwhelming. However 1 year on I am so much better. I think without the propanalol and citalopram I may not have been. I stopped the propanalol after 3 months as the citalopram had started taking affect and I stopped that about a month ago and I feel good. My thyroid has finally stabilised so that's great. One of the biggest things for me was the absolute fear and not understanding what was causing it. I really did think I was losing my mind. I still have my menopause and all that goes with that but I am coping and can see a light at the end of this very long tunnel! So what I`m trying to say to all you wonderful ladies is that it does get better and to take whatever you need to get through this "change" and it will get better. I didn`t believe it at the time but it does.
I still check in here every day and if I`m having a blip I give myself :kick: and it helps.!
Thank you all. You truly are a special bunch.
Mac xxxxx
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Thanks for the update. Pleased to hear you are managing to cope. :)
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Hi ladies
I'm not sure where to start with this as I am so confused and feeling very sad. As you know I stopped my HRT on the 16th May thinking I was worse on it. That was because I started having severe migranes and floaters and constant loose stools, more so when i changed to patches, I also at times had underlying anxiety but i could cope with that. When my last bloods showed a change in my thyroxine levels i was told to increase my thyroxine to 150mcg. OMG did i feel ill. Agitated, going to the toliet constantly did'nt know which way to turn. I blamed the hrt patch, which i possibly shouldn't have and took it off. When i went back to the GP (unfortunately not the one I usually see who is very supportive) she said they had made a mistake and i shouldn't have been told to increase my thyroxine dose!!!! She feels i am extremely sensitive to medicines at the moment.
Since stopping the HRT and reducing my thyroxine to what it was 125mcg I am having more bad days than good.
They're unwilling to take further bloods to check my hormones until they are sure that the oestrogen i was taking is out of my system and they have said that could take 2 weeks.
Yesterday had a good day but today really bad with anxiety and have had to take propanalol, which the GP gave me for anxiety, I have been prescribed 40mg 3 times a day but have only had to take it once since being prescribed it as I am trying to cope, I cut them in half as well as i am to scared to take the 40.
So now i don't know what to do the GP I saw said they wouldn't consider HRT again for me because of my symptoms but i know they'll try AD's.
I have also read that if your on patches and taking thyroxine, the oestrogen does'nt allow the thyroxine to convert properly? have you ladies heard of this, and that you should take hrt tabs only.
The doc also said i that i did not need to take the propanalol all the time but as i needed it???
My mood is all over the palce, with my poor daughter commenting that i should be back on the patches!! I feel so guilty. :(
I have now signed myself off work as I am not really coping. Night time and morning time seem to be worst.
I feel as if I am about to start a period but nothing so far :'(
I think if i could control the anxiety and sadness i could cope better with all the other symtoms.
Mac
After saying I dont comment on HRT hehehe
Well huny me too Im on Propo thingy mines called Idirel and i take 40m but only 20m a day I too cut them in half
Be grateful that your living in a country where you can sign off and still get money so take it OK health is everything
If you dont want the patches dont take them sit daughter down gently and say this is what you have to look forward too Make her understand all you need is someone understanding you loveing you getting how sad you feel &crying
Your not Billy no Mates love jin the blasted club I havent seen a period since 1994 at 42 early meno and feel crap xxx
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Hi Mac
thanks for the update (Suzi the post you are commenting on is almost a year old now).
Did you ever go back onto the HRT patches and if so did you find out how it affected your thyroxine dosage?
I am on thyroxine and understood that I wouldnt be able to take propanolol. Obviously this isnt the case ..odd ! Could definitely do with something like that for my anxiety. Is that what you were given it for or was it for palpitations?
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Hi Milliemoo
I 've not gone back on hrt at the moment I am managing without but who knows what the future holds with the menopause. Reading the diary I kept I don`t think it's for me. I was given propanalol for anxiety and then the citalopram which really did work.
Mac
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That's interesting. Are you back on 125mg thyroxine as that is the dose I am on. I have often thought beta blockers would help me but read that there were contraindications with thyroxine. I'm also on citalopram.
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Hi Milliemoo
I fluctuated between 75mg and 125mg for about a year but I`'ve been on 100mg for 5 months now and my level is spot on. It's really difficult to try and get all the symptoms under control. My GP was happy to give me the propanalol and I think it is used thyroxine.
Mac
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Well I'm very pleased that you got it all sorted out :)
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Until the next blip!
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mac,
I am so so glad you are feeling much better. I am not doing so well still trying to find a hrt to balance my hormones but not having much luck. I have a box of citralpram in the cupboard and think of you when I see them.I sometimes think of taking them especially since you had such a positive outcome with them perhaps one day I will.
Take care x
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It's not knowing how long each blip will last that gets to me >:( - I can tell myself all I like that this too will pass but ........ :-\
Glad that you are feeling much better and :thankyou: for the up-date