Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: CLKD on July 15, 2008, 12:54:42 PM
-
:-\ .... I have suffered since age 3 and had my first panic attack at that age. At age 5 Mum was told I was anorexic-type but NO ONE asked why! She was told I would 'grow out of it' [not eating much] - I'm still waiting to grow!
Maybe you didn't feel quite so worried because your daughter had eaten shell-fish so it was an allergic reaction and not a 'bug'? I watched a 4 year old vomit recently, it was a sudden event after he fell off his bike onto his stomach. His Mother 'caught' the lot :-[ and I watched in horrid fascination that a} she didn't join in and b} I actually watched!
Hubby only has to cough and I check he's OK and if he moves about in bed, well, it freaks me in case he's putting off the dash to the bathroom. We each have a waste-basket by the bed, just in case. We have containers in the cars also ........
Since taking medication for IBS my gut doesn't roll constantly. Before if I had a day when I didn't say to Hubby "I feel sick" we would tick the calendar! I had years of counselling. I had years of trying to find a way of confronting my fear ....... but the therapists were unable to understand the deep rooted terrifying fear that I suffer. When I'm in fear I shake continually, sometimes for hours. A psychologist once told me that the body cannot maintain a panic attack for more than 20 mins ........ I never saw her again once I'd told her my longest was 4 days and nights! :'(
Now that my gut doesn't roll constantly I am able to do much more, go places including shopping: I'm not always searching for a bin 'just in case' ....... or watching others close by in case .......... the phobia has ruled my life 24/7, as I had nightmares so never got release from sleep.
When I'm queasy I notice that there are adverts in all the magazines for food stuffs so I can't even browse in order to take my mind off my stomach ........
-
Hi leah
I am 44 and have had emet since the age of 6 - many many years. it is sadly untreatable though managable - I live a normal life but am always on the look out for people being 'ill' just in case I catch it. I am an ardent handwasher (you are very unlikely to catch a tummy bug this way) and i recommend (though I am not a medic) the anti emetic Motillium 10 which you can buy over the counter. It works but moving food quicker through the system and stops you from being sick. It is very very good and has no side effects.
My husband sort of understands but i have not told many people as they tend to take the micky. It is a debilitating phobia and many stop eating and lose weight, it restricts their life in that they wont have children and refuse to travel (were it not for my love of Greece I would not go anywhere - boats are totally out of the question and when I fly I have to have an aisle seat (quick escape if i see anyone reaching for the sick bag) and buses etc are also a no no.
you are not alone - I recommend going to gut reaction forum for more information about it. x Helen
-
I too was very young when all this started. It seemed to start after I had a big operation when I was 4 and wanted to vomit after the op but it hurt my stomach too much.
Like you Leah, I suffer with IBS and when it's bad the peristalsis seems to make me feel nauseous. Not pleasant. The GP prescribes anti emetics, Stemetil and has prescribed Metocholopromide (which empties the stomach) in the past to help with it.
I don't think I was calmer the other night because my daughter's being sick was due to an allergy...I didn't realise that's what it was at the time. But the psychiatrist made me watch video after video of someone vomiting and it has helped me to face up to it ("feel the fear and do it anyway"). At the end of the day I think it's up to the person with the phobia to deal with it, no one else can. A psychiatrist can only give you the tools to help yourself.
My daughter used to be petrified of being sick, now she takes it in her stride. She got over it by herself. I am in awe!
Dreamer
xx
-
I worked with a young woman who had suffered this since early childhood. Her uncle had thrown up all over her at a party :o
Her dream was to become a midwife but she didn't think she could overcome it :(
She was so disappointed when she told me - I wonder if she ever did try?
Michelle x
-
Motillium makes me very tired but it does work. I didn't have children, I made my mind up at the age of 8 when I was vomiting .......
I won't fly for that reason; I don't use Channel Ferries .......
Gut Reaction ....... I helped, sort of, found that many++ years ago! I didn't realise it was still 'running' ..... every person who wrote to me was like reading a mirror image. People tell me that "no one likes being sick" - yep, I know that, but how many are actually deeply afraid? I reckon that at one time in the 1980s I was in touch laterally with over a 1,000 people ..........
-
Here we are. Everything said in the other thread I could have written myself. Someone only has to cough or look a bit restless and I leave the scene. With a queasy gut. If anyone coughed in the house at night I would bury my head under the covers, certain they were dashing to the bathroom ........ beta-blockas have stopped that awful surge of anxiety which causes my gut to roll so I can eat properly ....... until 2002 I was severly underweight, avoided food, kitchens, magazines with food adverts, programmes on TV which might have food in ......... I do have a video of people supposedly doing 'it' but haven't watched it ....... it looks a bit contrived.
My therapist said it wouldn't be ethical for me to be given an emetic and 'helped' by professionals. She did threaten to bring a bucket of the stuff in for me to look at though, wonder why I stopped going to see her :-X
I could write a book :'( - we have holidays in the UK 'cos I can't be trapped 'in case'; if Hubby mvoes in the night he tells me 'I'm OK' so that I don't go into over-drive. If he has a cold he has to tell me his stomach is not involved ........ and all that festive food :-\
-
I have worked out that it is all to do with loss of control. We can't stop our bodies vomiting and we have no idea when our stomach will decide to stop. We have no control over it. Most people with this phobia have to be in control even if they don't realise it. I have the same sort of issues but mine are based on the fact that I don't want to upset others by going down with a stomach bug while either out with them or staying with them.
Taz x
-
I'm going through it today. Yesterday had dodgy tummy due to inadvertently having had some sort of dairy produce. Still don't know what it was as I'm really careful. TOday I'm going about feeling so nauseous and terrified I will have to make that sudden dash. If anyone goes to the loo during the night. I'm wide awake, head under the covers, fingers in my ears. When I worked, I was always the one having to do the cleaning up when a child was ill. All the younger girls ran for cover! It's not so much the cleaning up it's the fear of me catching whatever it is, then I'm sick!
-
So why is it such a dreadful issue for us, OK it's messy, goes a long way, I suppose some people fear blood ..... it's usually in the middle of the night too >:( ....... yep I like to be in control but the phobia made me that way, I had my first panic attack because of it at aged 3! At age 5 I was told I would 'grow out of it' ??? it's only since those feelings inmy gut werestopped by BBs that I have begun to get a life again. In a shop I know where every waste bin is even if it's for sale ;)
-
I think its because of the horrid feeling of losing control. It's very unpleasant in more ways than one. But there's nothing we can do to stop it. Nausea can be relieved sometimes, but when we're sick it's just got to run its course. Hopefully we'll all been fine this festive season and able to enjoy ourselves with our nearest & dearest.
-
I can't talk about it with people face to face except one friend who has the same problem ........ I only have to carry a bowl or bucket through the house and Mum will say 'do you feel sick' ....... >:(
-
I have never heard of this before - must be horrid :hug:
I've been sick many times in my life and it really doesn't worry me. Don't like it, obviously but often feel better afterwards so prefer it to nausia if I'm honest. Can't remember OH ever being sick, now I think about it but he's fine when I am - appears with a glass of water :-*
Bixby x
-
Deep fear is controlling and awful :'( - I can't understand any one not being bothered by it ???
-
I have worked out that it is all to do with loss of control. We can't stop our bodies vomiting and we have no idea when our stomach will decide to stop. We have no control over it. Most people with this phobia have to be in control even if they don't realise it. I have the same sort of issues but mine are based on the fact that I don't want to upset others by going down with a stomach bug while either out with them or staying with them.
Taz x
Some research suggests that 'control' plays a part in emet for some people - but this isn't the case for me. It's all of the physical sensations involved - the nausea, taste, smell, sight, sound... I won't write more because this description itself might be unsettling for some emets.
-
I hate being sick myself, but when it happens I can cope. Its others being sick that I hate and that restricts the things that I will do. I know exactly where my phobia comes from. A Brownie trip when I was about 6. I was not travel sick but unwell, some silly girl gave me travel sickness pills which made me feel awful. I had told my mum I was not feeling well before I went, but she was busy organising my sisters wedding and did not listen. This incident was followed by someone at school being sick on my school bag. And that was it. A life long fear of people being sick. Its so restricting.
My guilt is, no matter how hard I have tried to hide this, my daughter has picked up on it and is the same as I am. That is not fair of me and I really feel terrible about it.
Viv
x
-
Viv, it's not your fault! Many folk have this and she may well have developed it whether you had it or not. Please stop blaming yourself :lol:
Bixby x
-
Thanks Bix
But.... I know she has got it from me. She has listened to me shouting in a panic for her dad and me avoiding her while she is sick.I cant change it now, but apart from the sick bit I am an excellent nurse ;D ;D
Viv
x
-
I'm sure that you are. Mum and I still laugh about the fact that when I was ill as a child, I'd ask to wait for Dad to come home to have my pillows plumped etc as she was so heavy-handed! ;D Still wanted a cuddle from her when I was feeling reayyl rough though! ;D
Bixby x
-
Are you able to talk about it in the family? We didn't. I was too embarrassed :sigh: but apparently 'they' all knew and did NOTHING to help ...... so it was hidden.
-
The kids and my hubby know how I feel, but only hubby knows to what extent. Its not something I have ever hidden. I am quite happy to tell people I am not good with sickness. They dont understand , but I will admit to it anyway.
Talking about it has never really helped me, but all the family are "aware" of my problem.
Viv
x
-
Mine includes getting diaorrhea too - anything which may affect other people and means I am not able to control my bodily functions.
Taz x
-
At least one can take a book to the loo ;-). If everything moves upwards there's not a lot one is able to do about it ......... and when I had long hair it was tied up every night before bed just in case ........ :-\ - and yet I could clean up after the cats and dogs without problems !
-
I have rabbits - so the latter isn't an issue. Rabbits are one of the very few species who can't perform the dreaded act!!
-
My first husband left me for an old flame but he blamed my anxiety problems as the cause of him leaving me, said i had changed so much, but not a lot i could do as you all know when you are in a grip of phobias your whole life is took up with avoidance. I felt sick constantly and was always worrying i would be sick in public so i avoided any social situations, my weight was low because i liked the hungry feel as i had nothing much in my tummy to make me sick. Years have passed i'm remarried now to a man who can sympathise and i have improved a great deal, but i still don't like going to far and have panic do's when i go out socially but now i don't care about what others think of me too much, if i want to leave......i leave, must be confidence with age ;) Wish it would go totally but think it's something i have to live with. Must admit it's making me hesitant with hrt incase it makes me feel ill.
I think talking about it helps as i do find it embarassing admitting i have a problem, but have found as on this forum it's amazing how many people suffer and you don't realise it, you just assume it's just you being wierd!
Hope everyone manages to find some form of relief from this phobia as some point in your lives, it would be nice not to wake up and decide "how am i feeling today?"
-
I used to check my stomach before going into a shop to make sure I could get round before it began to churn ...... that was OK in small shops but not in Stores. I work on the premise that if I haven't eaten there's nothing to come back ........ but then I feel sick constantly ....... because my gut is hungry :-\ ......
-
The average person does not vomit that often. If we are careful what we eat (and know what suits us) then mostly its a virus that is the problem. Unless we do not go out and wrap ourselves in cotton wool we cannot avoid the occasional bug.
I always try to remember when I am sick that it will not last that long,, and then I will be better. For me its others being sick that's the issue. If I am sick then I know what is happening, but if its others (drunks are the worse) then its the not knowing that the problem.
Viv
x
-
Well: when ever I was sick as a child it would go on for hours :'( ............ I still have a dread of it happening which is why I can't go abroad on holiday ............ but I have improved in that I will eat out with Hubby; I will bring fish and chips home and so long as I don't eat so that I feel 'too' full, that's OK - chickens get any left-overs. But if the fear begins then I stop eating for days :(
-
What a horrible condition :( :(
I cant imagine how much it impacts in your day to day lives :(
And am totally shocked by some of the disgraceful cr*p some of your therapists have said CLKD :o :o :o :o
:foryou: for you all for a "good" day tomorrow.
Al x
-
:thankyou: therapists are 'doing it by the book' without empathy >:(
-
:thankyou: therapists are 'doing it by the book' without empathy >:(
- and most haven't a clue about the emetophobia actually involves or the far-reaching impact it can have....
-
We had a little festival in our town this past week which includes a fun fair. I have walked past it twice and did not take the long route. I am always worried that one of the rides will make someone sick in front of me. No one was and I felt really pleased with myself......Sad really.
There was also a continental food market and although I love to look around I will not buy anything. All the food is uncovered and there were so many flies and wasps around. Straight from the sea shore to the pastries and then me.....no thanks. I did buy some Stornaway Black Pudding (yum) from a chiller cabinet already packaged and a nice scarf from a very attractive French man ::)
I look on this as little steps...but if I am honest its two steps forward and three back :(
Honeyb
x
-
Well done Honeybun :banana:
Its still two steps forward + going in the right direction ;)
-
My neighbours went to France for 2 weeks and came across a street market; so they bought various un-cooked meats which they then put onto the communal BarBQ - along with various salads etc., it took ages for the meats/chicken to be cooked so they ate lots of chips ........ then wondered why some had the 'runs'. I would have avoided that type of cooking, it would never have crossed my mind to join in ::)
Karen - you are SO right ! I could write a book about my sessions and the lack of empathy and coping ideas .........
-
Mine got sick at a BarBQ - red wine and not quite cooked meat >:(. I had to help him walk home, about 2 miles; to this day he doesn't remember. I knew he had re-aquainted himself with the evening jollity when he walked outdoors chewing cardomon seeds. I was outdoors on the patio trying to watch the fish and trying not to cry and trying not to wail with fear. He never did it again. I told him then that any more evenings like that and the locks would be changed with him on the outside.
You did SO well todrive him back: :medal: I would have made him walk 'cos sure as Hell I wouldn't have kept my eye on the road >:(
-
Oh NO I would have been turning round to make sure he was using the bucket and not the floor! :beat: ........
-
TODAY: Himself and I went into the local town. Last night I didn't take my meds ......... so was feeling a little 'off' this morning but Pressed On. However, when we got into a coffee shop the loo was in use: by a foreign lady who kept going in and out but because of her nationality I couldn't tell whehter she was paler than she ought to be. SO brain begins to do over-time: what if she's eaten something that doesn't agree with her, what if the water has upset her, what if she's had too much alcohol ......... couldn't get my head round that she migth have her period and be checking, that was too simple. Even when Himself told me "it's nothign to do with us, you don't have to clear up" my stomcah was still in a knot.
Eventually I managed to eat the bun and drink my very good cup of tea but even now ............ :'( Hey ho, at least I remained in-situ :whist:
-
:thankyou:
-
Hi all, thought I would tell my tale about emetophobia, it all started in childhood same as alot of ladies, I hated my sister being sick and my mum used to make fun of me, then when i was eleven someone was sick in assembley which gave me a bad panic attack, then i was sick in class later. For years i was a wreck in assembly and my mum was not understanding at all. I wish somebody would have explained it to me and told me I was not alone. When my kids were sick I used to feel guilty as I could be in the same room to help them.I would really like to overcome it.It helps to know quite a few others are the same.
charliegirlx
-
That should say couldnt be in the same room.
-
There are a lot of us here that feel the same.
My daughter has a bit of it too and the fault is all mine as she has seen my reaction over the years. So I add guilt to the other emotions as well. :-\
You will get support and understanding here as quite a few of our ladies are the same.
At least I now I know I am not totally odd and others suffer too.
Honeyb
x
-
Oh Charliegirl I could have written most of your post. You weren't at the same Primary School when the girl was sick ........ she stood at the front and I remember it all so vividly. Never mind staying in the same room, when my sister was poorly I ran down the road in my nightie :o and Mum shouted when she eventually found me "as if I don't have enough to worry about" :-\ .......... I wonder how common this phobia is .........
-
Its one that people dont own up to.
I will now,, but I find myself down playing it. I usually say I have a bit of a sickness phobia, instead of....if you ask me to be near anyone who is even feeling a bit off I will have the screaming ab dabs ;D
If you did not laugh you would cry.....Oh and I have done that too.
Honeyb
x
-
Me too. Boy at school (primary)sitting next to me threw up on his desk. That was the start for me. Then I got whooping cough and that caused sickness. Didn't go to school for about 4 months because I was worried I'd be ill.
OH use to deal with DD when she was small.
I've only got to think it wll happen to someone near me and I flip.
Even now I would rather cut off my head than be sick.
-
I'm ok with sickness if it is not "catching". When the boys were growing up and would come home the worse for wear I had no problem sitting with them on the bathroom floor for hours holding their heads up etc. When my middle son had appendicitis the other week he had what we thought was a tummy bug the week before. He phoned me in the early hours of the morning to tell me he had really bad stomach pains and had been violently sick and my first thought was "Oh please don't ask me to come over". Not very motherly. I have always wondered whether I would ever let them down but when push comes to shove I have always managed to overcome my inner feelings and deal with it. The worst time for me was when they were all small and the bug would go round the school - they were in three different schools - the bug hit at three different times - they all went down with it each time and I would lay in bed waiting for the next one to get it. I am sure that's why I only had three!
I think mine started when I threw up half way through Domestic Science just as the teacher was starting the Apple Charlotte. It still makes me feel queasy - even typing the word!
Taz x
-
:beaurk: bit too much information :o ......... that's why I avoided childbirth full stop. Made my mind up at age 8 not to have any. During a particularly bad upset ............
I don't tell anyone because I know they will begin watching my reactions to everything and everyone ........ been out today with no problems at all ::)
-
So sorry you had to miss out on children because of this, I have had two and the morning sickness was hard just willed myself not to be sick!!
Charliegirl
-
:beaurk: bit too much information :o ......... that's why I avoided childbirth full stop. Made my mind up at age 8 not to have any.
Same here. Once I read about morning s***ness, that was it and I knew motherhood would never be an option for me. I always wonder how emetophobic mums can put themselves through pregnancy, yet many seem to escape with no emet-episodes at all.
-
It doesn't stop there though: travel problems, bugs from school, :drunk: :stretcher: ............ yet I managed to clean up after the dog and cats ::)
-
Being a very queasy type of person I was amazed to find that during all three of my pregnancies (and the one I lost at around 10 weeks) I had no sickness at all. In fact, I felt healthier than I had ever done and really enjoyed my food. It was great to feel normal!
Taz x
-
I did not have morning sickness....I had all day sickness ;D
I wanted a family so much that I was prepared to put up with that and the bugs from school. I do know that if I have to then I can.
I dont like being sick but would far rather it was me than anyone else. Once it starts then you just get on with things. Its other people that bothers me and it has got worse as I have got older. My ability to cope has diminished.
Honeyb
x
-
For several months in the 1990s I couldn't leave the house :'( : I dreamt about it : I had no respite at all :-\
-
CLKD that sounds awful :(
I didn't have morning sickness just felt tired all the time for the first 3 mths. OH looked after DD if she was ill in the night. During the day I just had to get on with it. TBH I think my phobia has got worse as I've got older. :-\
-
Without betablockas which stop the awful lurch in my belly button area I wouldn't leave the house. Certainly that drug has been a Life Saver :o
-
CLKD, have just been reading this post - i thought i was alone on my suffering? I have had a vomit phobia forever. it has def got worse since i had children, my big thing is one of them being sick, like you, i hunt out the rubbish bins in all shops etc. if one of them cough or are restless at night, a full blown panic attack can occur. it really is so awful. feel really embarrassed telling anyone, they just don't understand.
my daughter is now 16 and thankfully deals with sick herself (not that it happens often) but my son is only 8 and is going through the fascination with body fluid stage. i am trying so hard not to show my phobia when sick is mentioned but it is so hard. It really does rule my life (along with other stuff lol) .
Good luck to you x
-
:thankyou: it is probably more common than we realise but I was told that "the Dr would laugh" so I buttoned up and didn't tell anyone - still won't if I know them :'(
Oh if Himself gets out of bed in the night I've taught him to mutter 'going for a pee' so that I don't think the worst but if I drop off to sleep and then he seems a long while coming back to bed :-\ ............ and if anyone coughs in the car or goes quiet in the back seat :o
-
Bev - here it is, via the 'search' button .........
-
Bev. wrote in our other thread:
I know I have times when it has taken over & other times when it was in the background. I remember having a carrier bag with me at all times when I was a teenager. I have started that again. I will never eat certain risky foods & going abroad was a bit tricky. ::: tick to the carrier bag, I carried one when I went to the Chelsea Flower Show in case. Hidden in another bag ........ I won't eat chicken unless DH has cooked it. I have only in recent years begun to eat 'out', i.e. in Pizza Express or fetching local chish and phipps. But only when I am not conscious of my gut.
I have been through pregnancy though & didn't let it stop me having kids. ::: I decided that I wouldn't have children when I was aged 8.
I have only ever got drunk once. ::: I avoided Pubs after around 9.00 p.m. leaving by then or not walking past. ::: I used to be part of an internet group many yrs ago in the 90's when things got really bad ::: ( yep ;)) ::: so I know I could be a lot worse. I dread the sickness bugs from school & when my eldest daughter was training to be a nurse bringing sick germs home. I won't travel by public transport as I am not in control basically. Do you think it is a control issue? ::: for me it is deep rooted fear.
In the 90's I went to see a hypnotherapist, I wasn't even sure if it was a con. ::: I worked with a psychologist who practised hynoptherapy, who told me I was not a suitable candidate. I believe to thsi day that he knew hyno wouldn't help me :::
After a few sessions we got to the crux right at the end of my hrs appt. I was in my bedroom under eaves cupboard, I must have been under 5 as I knew which house it was & I had a box of marzipan fruits. I knew they must have made me very sick & I got told off. It was a memory I had forgotten, it wasn't one of those family stories but I knew it was real. Sadly I was too scared to go back & deal with what happened so I didn't go through the details & process them with him it was just too much at the time. I wish I had now.
This is the worst I have been since the 90's, I know the hormones have started it off again big time but I know most of it is me. If my husband feels nausea he just shrugs it off: ::: he tells you! Mine wouldn't dare. He was poorly earlier this year and shut himself intot he bathroom, I've never asked if he was actually ill :-\ :::
but I spiral down this huge panic/anxiety road. I just want it back in the background again not with me every second of the day. I even went veggie for a number of years to cut down on food poisoning. I am 5 foot 7 & 9 stone, ::: I am 5ft 1" and weighed for years 6st 10lb ::: always been slimmer in the past probably because I don't over eat just in case. I do however eat regular meals as I would hate hunger to make me feel sickly. ::: for years DH would tell me that my stomach was hungry when I was crying due to deep fear. The fear caused panic attacks. The longest panic attack lasted 3 days :'( :::
Sorry for the long post I just wanted to explain the phobia.
Its funny as I am a clean freak but I have 5 dogs (its my job) so I can't be that clean its impossible to keep things spotless doing what I do. I'm just not sure if I should do hypnotheraphy again or just hope the meds & hormones work/go away a bit. B x
-
Found it!!! ha ha not so stupid after all. I can so relate to everything said here the coughing, the children at school who where sick. I was once left in charge of my little brother for an hr when I was a young teenager & he was very sick I ran outside & threw pebbles at his bedroom window so he would look out & I could check he was still alive. I used to belong to gut reaction too, the lady was lovely it was back in the 90's when it made me agoraphobic. I remember so many instances of witnessing sick & hate drunk people.
Funnily though I have been able to deal with the kids, my eldest is 24 & I always managed with her. Then after trying for 10 years for another baby I had a very late stillbirth it put things into perspective & although a terrible thing to happen it made me stronger as I nearly died, BUT I wasn't sick & some of the things I had to go through for 48 hrs where horrendous. I was even more positive I would have a baby & we ended up with two in 9 months :-* Until now I have coped, my youngest 9 yr old daughter has tetrology of fallot a heart condition so as soon as she went to school she got everything going & then gave it her brother. I use gloves & lots of bleach & anti bacterial wipes etc. They do both have high sleeper beds now that is a worry!! We have to go to Alder Hey hospital a lot so another hotch potch of worry.
I can't explain how the phobia can be so bad & yet I can deal with them, however this last 2 mths I think I would have had to have help. I think my AD is finally kicking in so I think I will be ok now but we shall see.
I could sit here & list endless things like choking on a fish bone or always having a bowl under the bed but you know all the things. I just need mine to go back into the background again & just be simmering away & not affect my daily life.
This Summer/Autumn though & I don't want to sound glib about it, I was so poorly with these meno/anxiety symptoms I overcame a fear. I am fine with all insects but not wasps, I would probably crash my car if one buzzed in. I have gone out for the day in the past rather than deal with one leaving the kitchen tap on. I felt so crap wasps suddenly seemed like nothing, I either lived with them as we have big glass doors or set them free like I do all other wee beasties. I can't even look at a wasp picture! So it has taught me something. Not sure what but I need to learn something.
I can do dog sick, I can do dog births & I can do lots of unpleasant things with puppy's & I can obviously do my job as a stud master. So what is it about sick. I think it is about control for me 1000000% Also it is out of the blue & a shock as it is mainly at night. I also have no problem with sick that is not catching so I fear catching it more than anything. Headlines will be Norovirus soon in another few weeks, my daughter is an early warning system working in A & E. I don't let her visit in her scrubs or if she has had something sicky. I could go on forever & I am rambling now! B x
-
You have hit the nail on the head, bev - emitophobia is about the fear of losing control and usually affects people who have a great need to be in control of all aspects of their lives. Usually it is a manageable fear but the moment that other stresses creep into your day to day life - most of them outside of your control - then the emitophobia increases and becomes all consuming. Well done on the wasp achievement!
Taz
-
I'm not sure that it's just about control, although this is often suggested. Possibly emetophobes are especially sensitive to nausea and I'm sure many of us are quite introspective and regularly analysing ourselves for any symptoms.
Gut Reaction still exists but it's an online forum now due to problems with website hosting when Freeserve became Orange.
-
I hate the winter season when all the talk is about noro virus. Warnings are all over and it just ranks up the tension. I could cope with me but the worry, the sight and the sounds and I just want to run. It spirals out out of reasonable thinking.
I hate drunks.....Just in case," even if I don't have to deal with it. I hate hospitals in case I see something. When I was a little girl my sister had a brain tumour. I was taken to see her. I remember walking with my brother-in-law and him telling me I was not to look in anyone's room. It stuck in my mind and now I am terrified.
It's irrational and I know it. I don't really think about it much but when someone in the house feels sick the tension builds. When it's over I tell myself that next time I will cope better. I have been telling myself that for years.
I am a control freak who works on not being controlling in all aspects in my life. I hate uncertainty and the unknown.
Honeyb
X
-
I will have a look for Gut Reaction again Karen & will say hello to the owner, still can't remember her name but remember what she looks like! I do think mine is all about control though. I'm not a big bossy person but would hate to not be the driver if my husband wasn't driving. I hate the dentist where you can't just get up & leave or anywhere else like big shopping centres unless I know the exits. I think I am frightened to loose control like to loose my mind. I know it will never happen & the few times I have been in situations where I have had to loose control & had no choice I have been fine e.g giving birth & attached to a drip etc. I may not be bossy but I am highly organised so maybe I need to give a little & lower my standards b x
-
I don't try and control my family. It's personal control for me. My hubby has health problems and the fact that I don't support him in his hospital appointments makes me very sad, both for him and me.
I have lived with this for the biggest part of my life and it isn't getting any better that's for sure.
Honeyb
-
Bev you are not stupid! you found the thread, it was there in front of you once I had posted ;)
Mine is nothing about control. Mine is deep rooted fear which probably began within 24 hours of birth. So the response is so deeply engrained that nothing works, I had talk therapy etc. but it didn't help - I KNOW the illogicality of it all, I KNOW that I am unlikely to be ill or see someone else be ill but phobias don't work like that! I did see someone ill in the street about 6 months ago but couldn't help him, it didn't make my stomach lurch but I do worry since that he was epielptic or in some kind of medical trouble :-\ but everyone was walking by <sigh>.
When shopping I know where every waste paper bin behind the pay counter/bucket/drain is - in case. When shopping I look for the way out - in case ......... it has ruled my Life at times, even in my dreams :'(
I do have control issues but regarding other people. Particularly a few in his family ;) - otherwise nothingn would get done at all!
-
Bev, I've sent you a PM.....
-
It's interesting that yours started so young CLKD - do you know what happened within 24 hours from birth? Do you mind me asking what it is you are frightened might happen if it is not the fact that you fear losing control of your bodily functions etc?
Taz
-
Mine started around the age of 5-6 but I my first childhood memory is of having a nappy changed and some feelings of nausea when being thrust stomach-down onto my aunt's knee. I was out of nappies at 12-14 months so this must have been when I was around a year old.
-
Karen I have replied so if you don't get it let me know & blame the meno! x
-
CLKD have you ever had any times when it has faded into the background not that it wasn't always there but you could sort of shrug it off & let rip almost. I have given it some thought I remember when I was 30 & got divorced I went on the contraceptive pill & it went away. Could it have been all the good times I was having though? Then it came back after I re married & was no longer on the pill. I had some fertility hormone treatment which might have made it worse. I would say the last 9 yrs have been good'ish for me but could that be due to pregnancies & my body not levelling out its hormones again until the meno this year. Then I remember times pre anything hormonal being young & in a state so that makes me question the above. It wasn't constant though just times when I must have felt poorly. I've also just remembered about puberty time having a bad time with it & not eating my packed lunch until on the way home just in case........I think I have it constantly but only get full blown affecting my life badly when I feel nausea everyday for whatever reason & it seems hormones rate highly as a culprit. Sorry I am typing this as I think. I still think anxiety rates highly in my life too places like Ikea can be a huge problem, I like to be in control of my circumstances. I am going to think about this a bit more & see if you have any thoughts on your good times. B x
-
CLKD, you asked me to expand on phobias being caused by the fear of death. I am fortunate enough not to suffer from Emitophobia. I do have a phobia about height, particularly in wide open spaces. Think of those escalators hanging in shopping malls! Seriously impacts on retail therapy! I cope by avoidance, which you can't do with vomiting. I empathise with you.
I went to a well renowned hypnotherapist, who my husband knows, to deal with the phobia, but we ended up dealing with the suppressed anger that I was carrying around. Will be forever be grateful. I have been invited to go back, so will one day. I can go on an escalator if I tightly hold on to someone's arm, (maybe cutting off their blood supply!), and close my eyes. I tend to hyperventilate.
I did a course with a life coach, who discussed this with me. I haven't looked any deeper into it, but it does make sense. I have thought deeply about my own mortality though, particularly after people close to me died. The thought of dying does scare me still, as maybe everyone does. I found comfort from reading these 2 books, 'Proof of Heaven, A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife' by Dr Eben Alexander and 'Dying to be Me' by Anita Moorjani. Both are about near death experiences.
I think the association between phobias and the fear of death is worth thinking about. Why do we get them? I believe we are not conceived with phobias, but experiences in our early lives do cause them, maybe trauma or maybe more subtlely, not receiving the parenting appropriate for our needs. How many people experience unconditional love? We grow up fearful and feel unworthy.
-
I was intubated as a small baby. Mum thinks it stems from that time ......... I also apparently ate soap when about 11 months old and vomited bubbles ;D ....... she looked in through the window where my cot was and thought I was fitting :-\
I thought about this a lot yesterday. Sometimes the fear was so bad I didn't want to go so School - but was told by Mum that "You can't go out tonight if you are off school in the day" .......... never "Have this morning off and see how you feel. You might feel well enough to go out tonight". Also: "If you are ill you will spoil the outing for everyone" ......... no empathy there then >:( (thanks JuJu! ) and the Consultant told her that I would 'grow out' of the inability to eat but no one asked me why I didn't eat nor did any adult help me 'grow out' of the fear. It was assumed by those around me that growing up would be enough to make me 'grow out' I suppose :-\.
Before events or afterwards I would have deep panic attacks. 'In case' situations happened. I still want to get through an event fast so that I know if I have enjoyed myself or if panic will drive me away - then I would at least know whether to attend: or not :-\
I have usually been able to eat chocolate and at times this has helped keep me alive. Melt in the mouth syndrome I suppose. Other foods are out of bounds but I have in the last 5 years expanded those 'safe' foods, but only if my gut is quiet. I will go into places to eat, if my gut is quiet but am always looking for a way out and if someone coughs in the place >:( :o .......... I also eat very fast so t hat I get as much inside me in case my stomach shuts off ......... then DH can't say 'you must eat' >:(
I still never tell anyone in our social circle/s. I don't want people watching my reactions if we *are* out and about i.e. walking/pubbing/antique events ..... and over the years with the Betablockas - which stop that awful lurch in my guts - I have been able to go to inside closed spaces, even the NEC :o which I never thought during the 1990s that I would ever be able to do. I still don't do music festivals, i.e. Cropredy Reunion, because all those people: up to 20,000+ : in that field means I can't get away anywhere ........ and the loos would have queues when I perhaps needed to hide away ::)
My GP has been WONDERFUL! I did have intermittent 'therapies' for several years but because the phobia is deeply engrained ...... I never babysit for neighbours. Pet sit yes, but not children ::) .......... I can't go to the theatre due to the panic starting, so dont' even look to see what is on: would LOVE to see Vincent and Flavia when they go to Oxford :'( ....... the last concert I enjoyed as Michael Ball, but that was £25.00 per seat :o :o .......... and my wish is to see Les Misearables in London but the phaff of needing to book forwards as well as the journey, we haven't been to London for over 25 years and when I did go to the Chelsea Flower Show, I had a plastic bag within a bag ..... :-\
I have met people who are fearful of dogs/cats/buttons/insects/bats/moths/butterflies; I expect somewhere in the World someone is afraid of anything that is 'out there' :-\ and being in Gut Reaction helped so much. I had 2 letters from other sufferers that I could have written myself, almost word-for-word about how they suffered: exactly the same as I had done ............
-
Think of me when you eat chocolate! I am a chocoholic who can't eat chocolate! It makes me feel rough, yet I carried on for a long time, before accepting I shouldn't eat it or any of the substitutes! :'(
CLKD, You are a survivor and very brave, probably because you have had to be. As they say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Looking back is healthy as long as you can with no blame. Most parents do the best for their children with the skills they have, but if they have been inappropriately parented themselves, how can they do a good job? What kind of childhood experiences did our parents have? And their parents?
My Mum was loved, but aware she was a mistake. She has only recently told me that her family of 6 lived 2 rooms during the depression, in poverty. Her brother had rickets, 2 had TB. She was evacuated in the war. I know she was angry. She had to be in control and I was collateral damage. I was told I was naughty all the time,( my sister was the good clever one) though the school expressed concern that I was so timid and well behaved. Interestingly, she considered both my sister's and my second child naughty and difficult. I consider both are wonderful people and always have been. I was depressed throughout my childhood and diagnosed with clinical depression at age 14. Took ADs for a few years, which may have interfered my sexual development, hence low libido. I think I have OCD, which was severe then. At age 17 I made a conscious decision to live a good life, not try to fight it, be honest and work round it. I still have issues, particularly with faeces and dirt, but is liveable with. The best thing I ever did was leave home and get some distance. I never thought I would marry, but then I met my husband......33 years married this year and I love him even more now than then. I have had low periods since then, but never like then. I never dared tell anyone I was having suicidal thoughts, even when asked by the psychiatrist. I knew they were thinking hospitalisation. Gut feeling was NO! Think back to the 60s.
It has helped looking back, understanding and forgiving. Understanding why I do some things, think and feel; that my thoughts are just that.....thoughts, not reality. I am taking on board that it is ok to be me, that in fact I am pretty amazing. I have produced 2 happy, balanced children, who have not inherited my hang ups. I must have done something right! I think my health issues are very much linked to my early life. I don't know what feeling well, healthy and energetic feels like. Menopause has made things worse. But I do experience happiness.
I think self acceptance just as you are is the key; that it is ok to be you. It is as it is. Look for joy around you. What are you grateful for? And be proud of your achievements. Who can you trust and feel comfortable talking and being honest with? I have considered it a privilege, when people have confided in me. Don't be embarrassed. I have so much respect for you. Now go and have a bar of chocolate......for me. :P
-
:thankyou: I was eating a choc-chip brownie as I read your answer.
I was angry. Which is how talk therapy helped intermittently during the 1990s. My parents are/were teachers and even now, Mum has to have things her way, there was rarely any 'give' from either of them. They were teachers and parents so Knew Best >:(.
It is lovely to have moved away. I married in 1975, left their house without looking back. It was only when we moved here in 1983 that I realised that people liked me for who I am, not who they want/expect me to be. And boy was I bolshie throughout my early 20s :o ::) .... but something must have shone through ......... I no longer take it personally when people stop being my 'friend' or move house, it's their decision and not based on my personality.
I still get angry at my Mum who has narcissitic personality as has my sister who can wind me up quicker than anyone else >:( which is why I choose not to have anything to do with her and very little to do with my Mum - 48 hours with her is enough :-\ ......... I was angry and afraid of my Dad rolled into one but can see now that it was Mum who 'drove' him to be an angry person. Too late though, he died in 2006.
My sister can do no wrong in Mum's eyes, well Mum moans about her a lot but never 'puts her right' ......... she paid off any debts for my sister, she bought new clothes/shoes/make up as early as age 8 - she was allowed out until mid-night at a time when I was expected in by 10.00 p.m. OR ELSE .......... <sigh>
My husband loves me for who I am not what he expects me to be, God knows if it were the latter he wouldn't now be in the kitchen making apple chutney ;D
-
Oh do I remember that 'or else' when going out! My Mum would go ballistic if I was 5 minutes late. I gave up going out as my friends didn't understand that I couldn't be late. Why did she behave like that? I left home at 18 to go to college. I think I would have been promiscuous, if I scared of sex. I was very immature, but loved term time and hated holidays. Poor Mum still has control issues. Fought all the way on all issues, stair lift, walking stick, trolley, help in the garden. Now beginning to admit she and Dad are not coping with the housework. I would help, but Mum hovers around getting upset if I don't do it exactly as she does. I do stuff if she in hospital. I pity anyone who comes to clean! I do feel cross that my sister died. She got on much better with Mum. We could have shared the load. My Dad looks after her, but he lets her get away with 'bad behaviour'.
I was never close to my sister, until she was ill. All that lost it's importance. There are so many questions I would like to ask. What was her childhood experience like? My niece asked me if she was happily married. I don't know. Now I have learnt to say to people who treat me badly is that I love you, but that is unacceptable. If things don't improve, then I walk.
If you enjoy reading, another book I have found helpful is 'Real Love' by Greg Baer. Very readable and explains the difference between conditional and unconditional love.
I feel I'm on a journey. Only recently have I accepted that emotional health is interconnected with physical health. It's a relief to know that I am not responsible for other people's behaviour. If they are horrible, it is because they are in a bad place and has nothing to do with me.
-
Everyone sees a situation differently, even when shared. What I remember from issues whilst growing up my sister sees totally differently: she's 5 years younger: and Mum sees it differently from either of us ::)
-
I think most of us have some issues concerning our pasts so some extent. I have tried so very hard to parent differently to how I was parented latterly.
I had a happy childhood it was not until my late teens that there were problems. My dad who I adored died on my 19th birthday after years of ill health. He left me with a woman who could not cope with anything practical. She could not even deal with bills....dad did all that. It's not until recently that I have discovered that I carry a lot of anger and resentment around with me after all those years.
I resent that I had to take on and run a household. I resent that I don't think I actually grieved for my dad and my mother fell apart. I resent that my elder sister thought she had to step into my mother's shoes and run my life. I do know that if things had been different then I would have made other choices.
What can you do though. Accept and move on its what I have chosen and try to make sure my kids have a better time than I did.
Honeyb
X
-
Oh what a shock! :hug: .......... my sister although younger feels she can boss me around >:( which is why I don't meet with her, I could kill her ...... we do come to blows, physically - not adult is it :-\
-
Sister and I get on ok and have not come to blows since I was a teenager.
I however have a very long memory and a lot of unresolved issues. A psychiatrist would have a field day with me ::)
Honeyb
X
-
Dear Honeybun,
You don't need a psychiatrist. They might be able to tell you what's wrong, but how to treat it? Read your post again. You know what's wrong......'I have a very long memory and a lot of unresolved issues.' I think you know deep down what needs to be done. Letting the pain go, forgiveness of them and yourself. Everyone has a different experience of life and everyone suffers in some way. I suggest you get together with your sister and say you care about her, but when she says/does ......, you feel..... Tell her you would so love to have a rewarding relationship with her.
I was not very close to my sister. She made judgemental remarks. I felt she didn't approve of me and my choices in life. I didn't hear from her for several weeks and assumed she was being difficult. Then my parents phoned to say she was terminally ill. My Mum said she didn't think it a good idea that I contact her for a while. I followed my gut feelings and phoned immediately. I'm glad I did. We never discussed the past. It didn't matter anymore. I had those few months of friendship and did whatever she would let me do for her. The moral of my story is don't make assumptions. Give her and yourself a chance. Ju Juxx
-
Assumptions can cause problems as can family 'history' which are often myths, passed down through the generations ...... ;)
-
It doesn't take long for it to return ……….. :'( didn't have a good eating day yesterday, apparently - had breakfast as 'usual', a bun mid-morning as 'usual', late lunch which I probably ate too fast - resulting in mid-afternoon wind as we were travelling …….. then my head felt woozy :-\ ……. so I couldn't eat much last night …….. DH is busy preparing chicken with rice to 'get me going' again :(
-
You are very lucky CLKD that you have someone who takes care of you so well.
If I tell hubby that I don't feel well he is good for about an hour and then he forgets. Unless I am in bed type of ill then his way to deal with things is just to get on with things. It rubs off and I have become more like it over the years and don't tell him much to be honest.
Honeyb
x
-
My Dad was the same, he could look after any one other than family members …….. and if Mum was in bed he would ignore her completely :-\ ……..
Chicken and rice - gone ;)
-
Hope you are feeling better, CLKD :). Your OH sounds very supportive - what a star!
-
:-* he is. Since 1970 ……..
Managing to eat - fruit with a cuppa now
-
Is anyone able to tell me which part of the digestive system is below the belly button area …….. I seem to feel nausea lower down than where I believe my stomach to be :-\ ……….
Fortunately when I was in the bathroom at 12.11 thinking I was going to be ill - and wasn't, Himself was sleeping ::)
-
It's the sigmoid (sp) colon CLKD.
More likely to be wind down there. Your tummy is much further up.
When was the last time you actually vomited.
It's amazing how emetaphobes just don't.
Would you not want hubby to be with you if you were.
Honeybun
X
-
I would need someone there ……. 'cos I get SO scared.
Stomach is where exactly, under my left rib/breast area? Indigestion seems to be in the middle chest, chin, lips, but not down my arms and not often.
When I had bad wind we could watch it's passage down the system, it would rumble along like a serpent underneath the skin :o - I would lay in the bath water and we would chart it's path ………
I've looked in my very good Dorling Kindersley book about anatomy but it doesn't show which part of the digestive system is in comparison with what's in the various areas of discomfort. Pity my body isn't glass I could see exactly what is going on!
-
Does this help http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/science/add_aqa/tissues_organs/organs_in_animalsrev3.shtml?
Taz x
-
So if you didn't need someone last night then you knew you weren't going to be sick.
Tummy for me is around the middle area, and there is no mistaking when things are going to go wrong. The extra saliva in the mouth being one sign.
It's just one of these things that come on and you just know.
Honeybun
X
-
Nope Taz - link doesn't work ::)
-
Is anyone able to tell me which part of the digestive system is below the belly button area …….. I seem to feel nausea lower down than where I believe my stomach to be :-\ ……….
Like HB says, it sounds like the colon.
Perhaps diarrhea or wind would be the issue rather than vomiting?
What you describe, whilst it it isn't pleasant, doesn't seem to involve the stomach?
"Vomiting , also known as emesis, throwing up, among other terms, is the involuntary, forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach through the mouth and sometimes the nose.[1"
"The stomach is a muscular organ located on the left side of the upper abdomen. The stomach receives food from the esophagus. As food reaches the end of the esophagus, it enters the stomach through a muscular valve called the lower esophageal sphincter."
-
Didn't work for me either.
So when was the last time you were actually sick CLKD
I bet you remember just like me. If pushed I could probably give you a month if not the date.
Honeybun
X
-
Biggy was Sept. 1972 :-X and slightly in March 1985; had plenty of warning so didn't eat. Last: due to Co-codamol 3 years ago …….. my gut always rejects the 3rd drug ::) …..
Last night was from below the belly button downwards :-\ ……. I now need to have a look see in my DK book …..
-
Three times in forty odd years ::).....doing well CLKD.
My last was October 5 years ago...I would have to think of the date. Oh and when I took an AD a couple of years ago.
Kind of sticks in your mind.
What is a DK book and what are you looking for.
Honeybun
X
-
"I've looked in my very good Dorling Kindersley book about anatomy but it doesn't show which part of the digestive system is in comparison with what's in the various areas of discomfort. …… "
I've spent days not eating much 'in case', I spent years eating enough to remain upright …….. and sticking to 'safe' foods a tendency that remains.
-
Maybe look at the fact you have been sick so rarely in forty years and take comfort in that.
You tell us all the different foods hubby cooks for you.....unless you catch a bug then all seems good to me.
Honeybun
X
-
:thankyou: he tells everyone that he has too much Life Insurance to allow me to cook ;D.
-
You really should try.
Maybe you would be more interested and engaged with food and what you were eating if you did it occasionally yourself.
Everyone should be able to cook a nourishing meal for themselves and others too.
Go on why don't you at least try.
Honeybun
X
-
I'm just the same as CKLD and although what you say is sensible advice, it's easier said than done!
-
How about this one http://www.mayoclinic.org/digestive-system/sls-20076373. If it's below the belly button this definitely points more to "botttom" rather than "top" i.e. upset bowel movements rather than vomiting.
Taz x
-
Thanks for starting this thread CKLD, back in 2008, but I am sorry you have had such a bad experience of vomit.
Emetophobia or vomit faschination must be something that I have/had, but I didn't know it.
This post is long but I hope it is a good read and doesn't make anyone sick.
I get that it is a control issue, or fear of lack of control.
I've never heard of the gut feeling forum, I will have a google, although I am reading posts that are seven years old now.
Just reading this thread makes me amazed that so many people feel bad about this whole subject and it isn't just me.
I've got a colourful pavement pizza of a selection of vomit and vomit related stories to share. Maybe not for the super squeamish.
As a child I had a fixation on vomiting, and used to remember, for years, dates, when either I was sick, or someone else was sick.
I remember asking repeated questions to school friends, partners, work colleagues, to relay incidences when they had thrown up, and wanting to know the amount, and the colour/consistency of it.
I hate nausea and vomiting and it seems that other people can do it and then forget about it, or they can do loads of things even if they are nauseous and still make it to the loo.
As an adult, I mostly feel much better straight after I have vomited, but as a kid, I would vomit, the stomach ache would build up again, vomit some more, and repeat this process for a whole day or night, and there would always be loads of the stuff, wheras as an adult, there would not be so much quantity.
I dunno why kids seem to store a whole days food in their stomach and then spend the next day vomiting copious amounts, all over the place.
I sometimes hate being around drunk people if I think they are going to throw up.
You know when you get in that mood where you are online and you watch certain things, I dunno, some days it's cooking videos, other days, it's comedy, or art vids, etc, well, I went through a phase where I was watching vomit videos, there's loads of them, people make themselves deliberately sick to record, not anorexia, for novelty's sake. People taking ipecac, the vomit inducing emetic substance.
I didn't heave while watching them, mostly.
I remember a few years ago, walking down the road, with a friend, who suddenly threw up, and next thing you know, I'd run off, about ten yards down the road and only caught up with her when we were away from the sick.
I used to hate being sick. I hate the nausea before hand, not knowing if you are going to be sick, as sometimes, you can go all pale and sweaty, etc, but not throw up.
I heave if I see vomit in the street.
I tried to to nurse training but was asked to leave as I could not cope with the whole nursing thing on the ward, but one of the fears was vomit.
It was so bad that I would retch, and my nursing tutor, who trained and monitored pupil nurses used to make me look at people's vomit to try and get me over it.
I felt like I was weak, and wondered why I could not 'grow out of' it, and I remember a ward sister getting really cross with me, because a patient in a side room had thrown up absolutely all over, she had ms, dunno if it was due to that or what, and it stank.
Being nurses, vomit was something we used to have to measure, to take note of, etc, for the patients notes.
Some people are just prone to vomiting, and my ex was one of them. He could not understand why I was so obsessed with it and it drove a bit of a wedge between us.
It was only several years after we split up and were reminiscing that I thought to tell him about my nursing vomit experiieince.
I hate the smell of sick. I fear being puked on. I don't have kids, I couldn't clean up someone else's sick, my own sick even makes me wretch.
Sometimes though, I hate that nausea feeling so much, that if I think/know I am going to be sick, I stick my finger down and get it over with, but other times, I don't because I would rather the nausea go away, than me throw up and have to look at my puke.
I remember being on a hydrofoil (sp?) on holiday and me and my friends went to the far and and sat because we wanted to maximise the feeling of the waves, but I didn't bargain for being seasick, and I went out the way of my friends and saw loads of other people being sea sick too.
Ferries on rough sees also make me feel sick. I don't get carsick and I used to like fairground rides, but I hate seeing other people be sick at the fair.
I think that the sight of someone being sick can easily make me heave, and others too.
There are a few occasions over the years, when I have woken in the night, feeling really queasy, vomiting and having diarrhoea at the same time, this is without drink.
I've got so scared of this that any time I think I am going to throw up, I sit on the toilet with a bucket, or lean my head over the sink while on the loo.
The last time was january, I woke up shivery feeling really strange, and then I suddenly knew I was going to be sick and there would be no time to get out of bed and to the bathroom, so I emptied a plastic waste bucket of it's rubbish and threw up in there, while sat on the bed, and I also leaked out of my back passage.
I remember walking home from school, suddenly feeling sick, sat on the floor, nauseous, pale, sweaty, and I heaved, but no sick came out, but at the same time, again, I leaked out of my back passage.
This is a fear of mine, being somewhere like work and it happening.
Once at work, I felt all faint etc, and when I went to the loo, I sat on the loo, better to be sick on the floor rather than sh1t on the floor of the work loos.
I had a bad episode of sudden liquid poo, but no nausea, but then I felt better.
I can't overfill my stomach as I feel like I am going to throw up.
Even though I have had loads of therapy for anxiety and the vomiting thing is prominent with me, I cannot remember ever telling a therapist about it.
I also have a strange but very similar fear of fainting, and when I see someone faint, I suddenly feel faint myself and have to sit down, before I fall down.
I can't explain why this happens.
If I am in conflict with someone, I get so nervous I think I will faint or vomit.
I have never actually fainted, the nearest I have got was my legs going to jelly, but me sitting down before I fell down.
I suppose fainting and throwing up have similarities in that both of them can feel similar, and you get that horrible feeling sometimes, when you don't know if you are going to throw up, or faint, or sh1t yourself.
Sorry about TMI, but I cannot ever do a blowjob, because of fear of vomiting. The sight of sperm makes me feel sick, so I could not imagine the stuff in my mouth, and would always be afraid of the man not being able to control whether he might ejaculate into my mouth.
I only heard of emetophobia when I started using the internet. I realised that I was not a weirdo afterall.
This post has grown really long so I best stop there in case it wont let me type any more characters, hope I didn't kill the thread, or sicken anyone off (pun)
-
Can't read it :-X : maybe begin another thread, copy and paste :-\ ………. the web site was 'gut reaction'
However phobias are started they can be Live controlling, whether it's fear of buttons, elephants, sick, blood, tunnels, spiders - ….
As for cooking, I don't need to. I could if I had to. For years I couldn't enter a kitchen when food was being prepared. Even now there are certain smells I am unable to tolerate.
-
Maybe not....it's way too much information for me....I gave up within two sentences.
It's not a case of not needing to cook CLKD. It's being interested and engaging with what you eat that's to your taste.....oh and giving your hubby a bit of a break.
Honeybun
X
-
;D - you're flogging that dead horse Honeybun ……. ;)
He doesn't need a break. He can take me out to eat [anxiety allowing] or buy in ……… he finds cooking relaxing, apparently.
-
Still don't think it's fair CLKD to be honest.
Everyone but everyone gets fed up doing the same thing over and over and over.
I cook for my mother and hubby knows when I've had enough and steps in until I feel like cooking for us. Normally a couple of days does the trick, but it's so very nice to have a bit of a break and a real treat too.
Your hubby goes above and beyond so.... :-\
Honeybun
X
-
I'm the same. I have no interest in cooking and no culinary skills either. I eat to live and would be perfectly happy to take a daily pill containing all the nutrients my body needs. I cook my own food (very simple stuff) and my husband cooks his.
As for Dandelion's post, I read it all. I had some difficulty in places but it read more like a morbid fascination to me rather than a phobia.
BTW Gut Reaction, founded in 1993 pre-internet, still exists but as an online forum now: http://gutreaction.myfreeforum.org/forum2.php
-
Crikey you was brave to read it, my stomach began to heave after the first couple of lines. I did think that it wouldn't bother me as I feel OK this evening :-X …… a separate thread maybe :-\
I keep to safe foods even now, although if my anxiety is not present we do eat 'out' sometimes. I can drop into a cafe too on a good day but if anxious = upset gut then I return home. We don't plan our meals ahead by more than a couple of hours in case I 'go off' what has been suggested.
-
As for cooking, I don't need to. I could if I had to.
No CLKD you don't have to cook.
Why on earth would you, when you have somebody running around after you.
I seem to remember you couldn't be bothered cooking even a bit for him when he was unwell.
Fair enough, we are all different, I quite like looking after my OH when he's not feeling too good.
Mind you he's had to do more than his fair share at the moment ::)
-
OUCH :'(
-
I agree, that's not a phobia as I understand or have it :-\
I agree Limpy, I like looking after my old man too and he does take his turn when he knows I'm fed up which means such a lot.
Honeybun
X
-
Honeybun - you knew what you meant :-\ " that's not a phobia" - are you able to explain more clearly?
I can tell you this: that I have NEVER met a woman with vomiting phobia that has willing had children. Ever. And I have been in touch with several hundreds of sufferers over the years. I know of a couple of ladies whose contraception failed - one who put her child into Care and other whose husband took over when necessary. Her child then went onto develop the phobia …… and he never got drunk, was rarely involved with children …….
-
I have had a fear of being sick or seeing others being sick since I was a small child.
I think that a phobic is someone who really doesn't want details of amounts etc as D said but I guess we are all different
I wanted a family and told myself I would cope, and I did. I also coped with baby sick, toddler sick, teenage sick.....why, because they were my kids and I love them more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. My hubby helped out when he was there but he worked away so it was down to me.
To put a child in care because of a sickness phobia is one of the most selfish and sad things I have ever heard. Truly awful.
I hate sickness with a total passion, it terrifies me...but....family is different. It's hard but doable. If we ran from everything that scared us then life would be very hard. Sometimes you have to face it no matter how hard.....and it's very hard.
Honeybun
X
-
I could have written so many of the posts here. I'm so sorry that others are suffering but have to confess that it feels good to finally know I'm not the only one who has a problem. I've been absolutely terrified of people vomiting since I was a child and it was a major factor in my decision to not have children. That said if I had ended up having them I'm sure I would have coped. I would have just had to explain my phobia to DH - he still doesn't really know although I have hinted at it and when he has been ill I haven't exactly been supportive. In fact I have hidden in another room shivering with my fingers in my ears wondering where I could drive to.
I hate crowded places, avoid drunks, and limit flying unless absolutely necessary. I think my phobia started when I was young and my mother was screaming and crying when she was sick. It absolutely terrified me. I was never close to my mother so we never discussed it but to be fair to her she always looked after me when I was sick, so she coped despite her obvious fears, and I'm not sure I would have managed as well as she did.
Now there's just DH and me and I constantly worry about how I would cope if he was ill. He seems to think I'll cope, but I'm not confident. I just hope he's right. I also keep asking him if he's OK because a few years ago we toured in the US and there were a number of occasions where he needed the loo quickly. He didn't think much of it, although he was very grateful to Walmart (stores with facilities open 24/7!), but it really upset / terrified me. Eventually I worked out it was the local water, which I had avoided, so we only drank bottled stuff after that. Despite that I still worry if he eats or drinks something different and he has asked me not to keep asking if he's feeling OK.
-
I'm not emetophobic as I can deal ok with vomit as long as it's not from a bug. If it's because someone is ill from, say, a head injury or from being drunk then I can deal with it no problem (let's face it none of us enjoy clearing up after such an episode) but if it's from a bug then I get really anxious about catching it. When my children were all small this was something that happened frequently as it does before the immune system properly kicks in at around age 7. I worry when people are staying that I will get ill while they are here because I would feel so bad about passing something on to them. Daft really.
I'm curious as to how those of you who are true emetophobes do cope when you have a tummy bug and whether, afterwards, you feel stronger because the very worst thing happened but you survived and the world didn't collapse. Also, have any of you had any "treatment" to try to enable you to live a more normal life? I know from reading here http://www.ocduk.org/emetophobia that it's the sixth most common phobia and that it is one of the more difficult to treat.
Taz x :hug:
-
I think for me the run up is worse than the actual event. If I'm actually sick then I cope and just get on with it.
Seeing others throw up is awful. I get the shakes and want to run away.
I have had hypnotherapy which didn't work. Also had counselling, again didn't work.
I guess like all phobias, there are degrees of what you can deal with.
Honeyb
x
-
getting-old I could have written that, it's like a mirror image. I had my 1st panic attack aged 3, I was diagnosed as anorexic at age 5 but no one asked me why :-\ - Mum was told that I would 'grow out of it' ….. but I didn't. When I was 8 I was ill and asked Mum to call the Doctor because I knew that my fear and reactions were out of proportion but she told me that 'the Doctor would laugh if I called him out' - well if a Doctor would laugh then so would non-medical people so I NEVER told anyone.
If DH coughs in the night I tense up all over and give him a nudge to see that he's OK. When he has been ill I've run, with fingers in ears to the end of the garden. Working on the premise that if he lived alone he would have to cope. I could go on …….
When my GP prescribed BBs they got rid of the constant feeling of 'going to vomit' - I began to have a Life and now if anxiety is not present, we are able to go out to eat. I won't be shut in a crowded place i.e. we have never flown, I won't go into trains/coaches/theatres - a friend is playing locally this week and I can't go :'( even thought I love him to bits and haven't seen him for 15 years, even though he lives in the next village.
Honeybun you've hit the nail on the head - there are 'degrees' ……. having resurrected this thread I had nightmares last night :'(
-
Occasionally though emergencies happen and it's just not possible to run to another room or to the end of the garden.
It's amazing though just what you can do if you absolutely have to. Afterwards you can have a meltdown, but when needs must we step up.
In my case it was when hubby had a heart attack. Running away was not an option.
I think that all of us with phobias can and do if we need to.
At the very least we have to be prepared.
Honeybun
X
-
In the link I posted CLKD it says that sufferers are often misdiagnosed with an eating disorder when it is really the fear of eating something which will lead to vomiting. I guess this is what happened to you. It is one of the more difficult OCD traits to "cure".
Taz x
-
I always thought anorexia was a control thing. I never considered that perhaps it not anorexia but emitophobia for some people.
It's certainly not that for me, but it's very interesting.
Honeybun
X
-
If someone had bothered to ask when I was 5 years old :-\ :-X
Anorexia in more 'recent' years has been generally media-led in that young people want to look like 'celebrities'. There's been a lot of pressure which our Grandparents didn't have. Also, there is no anorexia in 3rd World countries ;). I expect that there is modern-day danger-led lack of eating though, either due to not having access to regular food stuffs or due to the problems in War-torn countries :sigh:
-
People in Third World countries do experience eating disorders. It's become much more widespread since internet access became available. I found this explanation of anorexia interesting http://eating-disorders.org.uk/information/all-about-anorexia/
Taz x
-
sufferers are often misdiagnosed with an eating disorder when it is really the fear of eating something which will lead to vomiting.
It sounds like Bulimia when it's put like that.
-
No - I mean they are so scared of eating something that will cause them to vomit i.e. from food poisoning or allergy that they don't eat.
Taz x :)
-
You are obviously correct Taz - I'd mistakenly picked up on an obsessional link which I'd seen mentioned somewhere in relation to Bulimia ::)
-
Anorexia is where people refuse/avoid eating
Bulimia is where people eat but purge, usually be making themselves vomit or take to many laxities to purge the gut
-
What should have been asked when you were five CLKD.
It's very young, I can barely remember anything from that age at all.
Fortunately I never passed on my issues to my kids....I thought at one point I had with my daughter but she is very matter of fact about vomiting, my son is the same so for that I am grateful. They both know as I never hid it when they got older.
I still maintain no matter what the phobia, if a family member needs you.....you do it.
Is there any choice.
For the members of the forum that are really affected by this would they turn away from a partner that needed help if it was life threatening or would they just cope the best you could.
Honeybun
X
-
Someone should have asked me why I wasn't eating ……… but no one ever did.
-
Kids are picky, mine were and I didn't think much more about it.
Did you ever get a diagnosis of anorexia, or professional help.
Honeybun
X
-
Yep. Mum was told when I was 5 and that I 'would grow out of it' …….. I hid it until my mid-30s when I became housebound through fear and the GP arranged counselling. But although I was given 'coping' strategies, not one 'expert' was able to advise a 'cure'. Relaxation therapy helped for a while. Staying home was the best as I didn't have to worry about encountering any of the triggers.
The BB does help in that it kills any feelings in the gut area which means I can eat 'properly'. Since I re-started the 40mg. last week I am less aware of negative feelings in the gut. >phew<.
I have had to accept that there isn't a 'cure' because as one 'expert' Psychologist told me, it would be unethical to suggest one. In other words, she had no idea ……….. :'(
-
So you were hardly eating anything and very thin ?
That's my understanding of it.
My daughter had a school friend who was anorexic. It was a reaction to her mum having breast cancer. Again a control thing in a life that was being rocked by her mothers illness. She spent a lot of time at my house and sat with the family for meals and moved food around her plate while only eating a tiny amount. Nothing to do with a sickness phobia though.
She even ate tissues in an attempt to feel full but not actually put on weight.
I met her the other week and she is going into fourth year of medical school and looks great. She got help thanks to her mum and dad.
I'm not sure how you can hide anorexia ....this girl was four stone at one point and in hospital. She was very very ill.
How did you manage to hide something so big ? From hubby.
Honeybun
X
-
HB I seriously hope that I would try to help, but I know that it would be extremely hard and I would be fighting the urge to run away.
When I've been sick I've not wanted anyone around, and I lock myself in the bathroom.
Just reading through this has made me think about my mother. She was anorexic for a number of years and even when she seemed to have recovered she had a very awkward relationship with food. I always thought it was because she thought she was overweight - when she became anorexic she would talk about how fat she looked and even when she was below 6 stone she would tell us how people in the street told her she was fat, but I now wonder if her fear of being sick contributed. As I said we were never close so it wasn't something we ever discussed, and she never actually admitted she was anorexic to me so it wasn't something that could be talked about.
Her anorexia had a big impact on me, and I have always refused to diet because of it. I do tend to stick to fairly plain foods, although that is more to do with allergies and just not liking too much flavour, but maybe there is a subconscious element of avoiding something which may make me sick too.
Not sure about others but this has really made me think about myself and also about my mother.
-
I didn't need to hide it. From a very early age Mum fed me chocolate 'rainbow' drops …….. chocolate kept me alive. I don't remember food as such, I did have years when I ate 'within normal limits' because I had hollow legs ;D ……..
At my lowest weight: 5st : C.mas 1970 : Mum threatened to take me to the GP but didn't follow through. Too late, she told me a GP would laugh so NO WAY would I have gone, by then I was going to Surgery without a parent present. I never lost having periods though [bugga ::) ]. I ate enough to remain upright. I ate a lot of Milk of Magnesia to stop my guts growling with the thought that it would stop me vomiting ::) - I kept that Company in funds for years :D.
DH got to know as we grew together. We have code words when I need to leave a situation because the phobia is taking over. If I don't feel well enough we cancel invites when necessary. There are events I no longer put myself through even if it's expected by others = less anxiety.
I was 7st 2 when we married and remained at 6st 2 for over 25 years not that I stepped on the scales often. We lived an active Life-style - lots of walking, cycling, swimming, hill walking …….. but I DREADED eating with friends because most Cultures take time preparing and sharing food and in my 18s/20s/30s I didn't like to turn it down. Now we are all older no one seems to notice when we are out that I don't eat/much.
In the 1990s I did notice an engrained parental habit when my nephew was 2/3 years old and staying with his Grandparents: my Dad kept saying 'eat a little more for me' when it was obvious he didn't want food. I could see old habits beginning :o ….. it made my blood run cold. My sister was at the table stuffing her face and told me later that she didn't notice, my nephew left the room ……… he and I had a little chat later.
It was safer not to eat much as there wasn't much to come back. My GP asked my weight last week but I had no idea, he put me onto the scales and apparently what ever it is, is OK ;)
-
getting_old - some of that rings bells too. When my sister was ill I ran away from the house, found by my Dad later, a mile away …….. still my parents did NOTHING :kick: ….. although Dad did understand I was frightened and in hindsight I know why he didn't step in other than to look after me when necessary.
When DH is ill I run away ……… we had a pact around drink too, he knew from early on that should he return home drunk it would be divorce. He did come home twice and the 2nd time knew he had over-stepped the mark. I locked him in the house and spent the night shivering by our ponds. I told him that to ignore my fear and to come home drunk was abuse. Never did it again because he loves me :-* ;) .
Which is why he cooks for me, he told me in the early hours ………. 'after all, I have to cook for me so I'll make extras' ….. :-* :na:
-
I think most anorexics have a very distorted body image.
The link that Taz posted showed a very clear link between the fear of being sick and not eating.
Anorexics are completely different.
Anorexia nervosa — often simply called anorexia — is an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight. People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with activities in their lives.
To prevent weight gain or to continue losing weight, people with anorexia usually severely restrict the amount of food they eat. They may control calorie intake by vomiting after eating or by misusing laxatives, diet aids, diuretics or enemas. They may also try to lose weight by exercising excessively.
Some people with anorexia binge and purge, similar to individuals with bulimia nervosa. However, people with anorexia generally struggle with an abnormally low body weight, while individuals with bulimia typically are normal to above normal weight. No matter how weight loss is achieved, the person with anorexia has an intense fear of gaining weight.
Anorexia isn't really about food. It's an unhealthy way to try to cope with emotional problems. When you have anorexia, you often equate thinness with self-worth.
Anorexia can be very difficult to overcome. But with treatment, you can gain a better sense of who you are, return to healthier eating habits and reverse some of anorexia's serious complications.
Seems very different to what we have been discussing.
As an aside CLKD, when my hubby had a heart attack he vomited as a lot of people do. I did not run. I called 999 and then followed the advice to help keep him alive.
Tell me .....what would you do.
Honeybun
X
-
Where do you run to when he's ill? Have you got a friend you stay with?
I have a neighbour who is anorexic and she is a professional chef but now training as a nutritionist. She has to go into hospital usually around twice a year when her weight drops below 5 stone so that they can build her back up. Her children (now grown up) are very understanding but they had a very difficult childhood. Strange,I always feel, that her main interest is food and getting others to eat well when she wants to make herself as small as possible herself.
Taz x
-
Obviously …….. dial 999 in the first instance.
Anorexia/bulimia has only been described in recent years Honeybun because the medical profession do like to pigeon hole people. It has been a non-eating phenomena for 100s of years. I was anorexic [1955] before it was 'fashionable' in the 'true' sense of the word i.e. fear of food not fear of body image ……… but in order to give patients treatment it had to be compartmentalised. My friend is a psychiatric nurse on a young persons' eating disorder unit and gets annoyed at the very narrow 'compartments' that this potentially fatal condition is called. [ My sister is also a psychiatric nurse …….. apparently the family were aware of my problem but it was never talked about. ] - caring family then ::)
As Psychiatric Services are at the bottom of the monetary pile it is difficult to get urgent referrals for assistance.
-
Taz - that is very common. Women in particular want to nurture and care for their children via food …… whilst avoiding putting on weight themselves.
Most emitophobes will avoid the kitchen ….
I run into the garden ::) where I can't hear what's happening indoors. Fortunately not required very often as we aren't 'sicky' people ::) NO WAY would I tell anyone that I am in regular contact with ………. they might laugh :'(
-
Interesting: "The word ANOREXIA means “appetite loss of nervous originsâ€. "
It goes on to remark : "Anorexia Nervosa is a condition of weight loss which is not secondary to a physical condition …… "
However, throughout the rest of the article it uses "anorexia" and not "anorexia Nervosa" ……… which is incorrect as it gives the wrong impression of anorexia as a condition. These 2 are separate issues :bang: :bang: :bang: picked up by the media and medical profession/s and joined for convenience: usually by non-sufferers ……… bulimia being separate from the above. But people when desperate will combine nervosa with bulimia to achieve an aim.
I rest my Case.
-
Unfortunately just dialling 999 was not enough .
I was advised to give him aspirin if we had any ...I did but it was the dispersable kind so I had to spoon it into his mouth and hope he could keep it down.
We have to be prepared to just step up and not run.
I think the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes our partners enable us to stay inside our little bubbles where we should be encouraged to do things that challenge us just a bit. My hubby knows I could cope if anything happened, it would be very hard but living in that bubble where we avoid everything that even causes a minor wobble helps no one.
Honeybun
X
-
I never lost having periods though [bugga ::) ].
The good news is your anorexia obviously wasn't severe enough to stop your periods,
you obviously have always managed to eat enough to remain pretty healthy.
-
Of course. My frame is light weight, so 6st and a bit was OK. I worked in a Hospital ……… on the go all the while with rarely a lunch break, paid for that later on too :-\
Some people are enabled by their partners 'allowing' habits to remain. Some partners walk away when the sufferer eventually recovers because they no longer feel useful or lose that form of control …….. I have offered my Husband 'out' many times as we are aware of the pitfalls. But with a good GP and Dental Surgeon we are working round any problems, as DH says often 'it is what it is' so we don't expect too much but enjoy the 'good' days ;)
-
I feel a Thesis coming on ;D
-
No, just a dollop of common sense, don't you think.
Honeybun
X
-
Where a true phobia is concerned though I don't think common sense comes into it. Article here about a woman's fight to get better http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-i-beat-my-fear-of-vomiting-eating-frightens-me-10003913.html
Taz x
-
But she was helped and is coping, a little better everyday. She, in her own way decided enough and started to reclaim her life.
The common sense is to try and cope and not give in.
It's so damned hard but sometimes there is no choice.
Not that that makes it any easier the next time ::)
Magic Wand anyone.
Honeybun
X
-
The headline doesn't follow her story correctly as she hasn't beaten the problem: she is still on a very restricted diet if her words are true - pity they don't spell the word correctly too!
There is NO common sense surrounding phobias, whether it be of spiders, buttons, vomiting, blood …… there is logic but this logic flies out the window when the fear takes over. Dr Raj Prausad [sp] began the treatment protocol that she is following ……. he offered me a place at the Maudsley many years ago [? 1990s] but I was unable to travel there due to the phobia.
I have tried to re-claim my Life but once the fear begins, any logic is gone and I am a shivering wreck in the corner of a room until the emergency medication kicks in. With the BB I can cope better most days but I know how quickly the fear can paralyis me.
-
It's called Emetophobia unless there are two spellings or was it a different word?
Taz x ;D
-
pity they don't spell the word correctly too!
I think Taz is correct, they are spelling it correctly. I couldn't find a definition of Emitophobia anywhere when I looked.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emetophobia
Emetophobia is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include
subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.
www.emetophobia.com
-
It is definitely spelled emetophobia - same root as the correct medical term for vomiting (emetemis).
-
Also it's why something used to stop vomiting is called an anti-emetic I would think.
Taz x :)
-
Ah!
Makes sense when you think about it ::)
-
:thankyou: ………
I feel queasy this evening: Himself has kindly handed me his Cold/Cough Germ ……. :kick:
-
I'm sorry that my post made some of you feel yuk
I've got what's called a fear fascination.
I do get nervous if someone thinks they are going to be sick, and also if I think I am.
-
I'm queasy right now ………. :-\
-
I'm queasy right now ………. :-\
Sorry to hear that, you have it really bad.
The medication I am on promethazine for anxiety, is actually a good medication to stop queasy stomach feelings.
-
Thanks.
-
This is the main reason why I didn't have children. I was very ill, aged 8 and told my Mum 'no way am I having kids' ….. I was told many times that I would change my mind …….. but nope. Also, the World has never been 'good' enough for my kids, who ever I married ……… add to that anger management issues :-X
-
I am on the edge of going under. My gut is rumbling. I feel light headed. I am finding eating difficult :'( and when I drink it makes me bloated :-[. I had to take emergency meds last night ……….
-
:hug:
Have you picked up a virus? Have you been too long out in sun ...not drinking enough....dehydrated ?
-
I am on the edge of going under. My gut is rumbling. I feel light headed. I am finding eating difficult :'( and when I drink it makes me bloated :-[. I had to take emergency meds last night ……….
CLKD, take little sips of water to help. Do not eat while you are feeling like this & sit/lay down & try to relax.
Can you take another emergency medicine yet?
Try & stay calm.
-
:thankyou:
-
I hope you are feeling a bit better now CLKD, you had me panicking for a moment. :-*
-
Let me do the panicking ;). It's the gurgly gut and bloated feelings after drinking anything :-[ ………. I was scared at 8.30 p.m. :'(
-
:bighug: (gentle hug)
-
Thanks. At least the sudden itchy deep in the throat which was bothersome for 2 weeks has gone. So has the woozy head. My gut is bubbling though :-\ ………. it's a Germ! but once my gut begins to churn :'(
Several people locally have had bugs but I thought I had kept well away >:(.
-
Poor you. My gut is gurgling today, very nauseous too. Fine when lying down. I went to aquarobics this morning. Head was banging with every jump, thought I'd have to leave early. Stuck it out though. Think anxiety is rearing it's ugly head again.
-
I feel stuffed after my evening meal, hopefully I will stop feeling nauseous >:(
-
I feel stuffed after my evening meal, hopefully I will stop feeling nauseous >:(
And you wonder why you feel sick sometimes CLKD..... it beggars belief.
If I eat a meal in the evening that makes me feel "stuffed" I always regret it later. :barf:
-
It's the bloating which I don't usually suffer from ………. no stuck wind but everything I've eaten/drunk 2-day it's bloated
me >:(
-
I have also suffered from this since I was a child. I'm terrified of being sick of seeing someone else vomit.
I too have IBS now in this hormonal nightmare and feel nauseous quite often.
I love fruit and an increasing my daily amount at the moment which is causing tummy problems. Pears, apples and grapes in particular all make me horrendously bloated and nauseous.
Oh the bloody joy of it all!
-
I don't know if I would say I have a phobia but I do have a dread of vomiting. It stems from being spanked as a 4 year old for being sick in my parents bed. I also suffer with constipation for being dragged out of the toilet if I was in there when my father wanted to use it.
I actually have a problem with letting anything 'go', even tears, for fear of the outcome but I am working on it with help.
-
It haunts me when I'm vulnerable, 24/7 as I dream about it. :'(. I had a long deep bath which eased the bloatedness ………. was ages getting to sleep as I kept waking to see whether I still felt queasy. Woke at 5.10 coughing hard. Snuffly nose.
I avoid situations, i.e. pubs. or closed places. I can't go to the theatre any more. When I feel OK I could take on the World ::)
Problems with eating again this morning :-[. Have tried fruit and nuts, small bowls of muesli - cat knows I'm 'off' 'cos she's close by :cat48: ;D
-
I think we're in for a ruff night :'(
Himself has had 'the runs' intermittently since mid-morning - no pain, no nausea, 'feel cold at times' - so why the HELL has he kept eating all day :beat: - to please me :-\. I don't trust him ever to be honest with me about how he feels >:( Bcause it sends me into a head-spin :-X …… please hope that we get through the night without incident ……..
I could kill him for eating - we have had lots of fruit in recent weeks so maybe his bowel is 'catching up' ???
I've offered him Immodium which ran out in 2014. Everytime he moves I jump :'(. I can see me watching TV from the settee ………..
-
It's better not to take something to stop diarrhoea initially. If it is a bug or caused by food it is the body's way of getting rid of it.
Probiotics can be helpful. A light diet avoiding fatty foods is ok. Hope he is feeling better now and that you both got some sleep 😀
-
How is he this morning, and you?
-
:thankyou: of course, HE slept ::). I read until 1.30 but couldn't continue any longer, apparently he was up at 3.00 but I was unaware. He's not eating much today, I've plied him with Actimel - well he's had 1 bottle. We are both drinking plenty. I have managed half of a half of a pizza slice ……. he is now starving the gut.
-
:bounce:
you are not alone!
-
Wow. I just read some of the posts on this thread. I wanted to reply and say Thank you for pointing me here! I will now go back and read every post. It gives such comfort and I too was a big user of gut reaction forum. I love that forum, it was my safe place to go in dark moments when my sons were young and I was terrified of "the bug" I still am terrified of course but it happens a little less than it used to. That forum is quiet nowadays which is a shame but hopefully some members are on here too and we can connect through here. I thought I was in a tiny minority with this phobia plus all the meno symptoms........its great to know others understand this weird fear. It really is different to any other phobia. Its extremely complex and effects every single part of my life. Frustratingly I had a period of about 10 years phobia free. I just kind of grew out of it but them grew back into it when my youngest son was a huge vomit monster. I mean he vomited everywhere....planes cars buses trains. He would get the worst sickness with a tummy bug. Like he had been poisoned. I gradually became more and more terrified and it awoke the whole thing again. For me I think its about control. I hate the thought of losing control, which you do when you are sick. The whole repulsion that others have for you too. I assume everyone feels like me about someone who is sick I guess. I am the same about my bladder problems....have this fear of incontinence as like the ultimate loss of control or something.....I dunno Im a bit weird! Lol.
-
;D. all the World is strange except you and me: but even you're a little bit strange ;-)
I didn't have children nor contact with children due to this phobia: I never baby-sat. I don't sit in the same area as children, if they sit near me I move. I never use public transport ....... at least I don't feel continually sick since taking BBs and we even go out to eat :o. But if Himself coughs in the night :-[ ......
Exchanging letters with Gut Reaction Members was like looking in a mirror ....... (remember letters, you know, those things written on flimsy paper and sent in an envelope ;D).
When panic attacks start it's my gut that reacts and I can soon be suicidal :sigh:
-
Sufferers can find out more about the condition, and meet like-minded people online. Resources include NHS Choices, Anxiety UK's emetophobia page, the Emetophobia.org forum and several Facebook groups.
-
Anxious this morning so of course I'm queasy and my head aches ....... I'm going for a pedicure for goodness sake :sigh: :kick:
-
I have today sent an e-mail to Macmillan regarding this current TV advert. which shows a man ........ :-X. I have asked them to remove this section of the advert. as it adds nowt to the over-all message.
I object to large organisations spending public monies on TV/other media advertising - Donkey Sanctuary and Dogs Trust have spent monies in this way and I don't think it's wise use of what the public hand over for.
If anyone else who suffers please send an e-mail objecting about this advert..
-
not seen the advert :-\
-
Me neither.
I guess it shows someone being sick.
I just don't look when that is on TV.
If you know it's going to happen CLKD then change channels. I do sympathise but I do always tell myself it's no more real than an action movie when someone gets shot or worse. Sometimes it kind of de sensitise things.
Mrs Brown
-
It's un-necessary though :-\ and it isn 't always easy to flip through the channels as they show short clips :'(
-
Just try and remember. It's not real they are just acting.
Look away if you can. Not nice but we are in the minority I think. Most people are neither up nor down.
Mrs Brown
-
Although I can see that this is upsetting for you CLKD ( :hug:) if everyone's phobias were taken into account then the tv channels and the advertisers would be really restricted in what they can show?
Taz x
-
No support here then ..........
-
Oh CLKD, it's not a case of no support at all.
We sufferers really understand but as Taz says there are so many differing phobias out there where do you start without upsetting someone.
All I can suggest is just turn away and keep telling yourself it's simply acting.
Horrible though :bighug:
Mrs Brown
-
I didn't mean to sound unsupportive CLKD - sorry.
I think you are talking about the "A Dad with Cancer is still a Dad" advert. Difficult though it is to watch at times, and having supported too many friends through cancer, Macmillan are about helping people carry on their normal lives while suffering from this frightening disease. It brings home the fact that even though you are suffering awful side effects such as vomiting, diarrhoea, total exhaustion etc. with help from charities such as Macmillan, you can carry on being the person you have always been even through the most terrible of times. The others in the series don't have any vomiting as far as I can remember and do really make you think.
It is only people acting out a scene on these short adverts but, for lots of people, it is the reality of their daily lives.
Taz x :-\
-
CLKD - I haven't paid much attention to the Ad before now - that said this is a dreadful phobia and I feel for you. I used to deliver awareness training and one of the areas covered was phobias. My eyes were opened to the suffering of individuals to some of the most bizarre, but life changing, phobias disclosed in the sessions. Have you tried any therapy specifically for this?? I do understand your distress and how it has shaped your decisions in life -
My friend has a phobia of balloons - people think that's hilarious, but as she's no children and only nieces it had a massive impact on her ability to join in on family parties etc
It's not the phobia that's the problem......it's the impact it has on your quality of life.
My mum is claustrophobic- years ago i read a book called 'feel the fear and do it anyway,' full of good intentions I coaxed her to get into a lift ( it was all glass and only went up one floor) stupid me thinking that would make a difference !! Well incredibly the lift stuck. Took just 5 mins to get us out. She was in full panic mode and I never tried that again.
She now struggles with severe arthritis and heart problems - my dad has been in hospital and she has walked umpteen floors twice a day to his ward.
Believe me when I say I totally get it. I will send an email to McMillan asking them to reconsider this Ad - given how distressing that scene can be for some people. (Send me a specific email address if you have one)
I think we have entered an era where tv and all that's spewed out of it no longer considers respect, dignity, diplomacy etc etc those days are long gone I'm afraid. Now it's a competition to be as graphic as the advertising authorities will permit!
Take care
DaisyB x
-
Phobias can be irrational and illogical to those who do not suffer from them. Real phobia goes far deeper than fear or dread and does not respond to reason.
I don't think the issue here is the advert or even the phobia, it is about the trigger. The trigger is at the base of a phobia and it is avoidance of the trigger that makes it possible to live with the phobia. It is not as simple as looking away or changing the channel as once the trigger is in your head it is there and the sights and sounds get out of all proportion.
My husband is afraid of heights and rats and if he sees images of either on TV it takes him a long time to get the images out of his head as they play round and round like a video on a loop. With emitophobia it is not just the image but the sounds that will produce a trigger for the affected person.
Please don't make light of this even if you find it hard to understand or appreciate.
-
I don't think anyone has made light of it babyjane but it is very difficult to take into account everyone's different phobias when putting out adverts or programmes on tv and any other media.
Taz x :hug:
-
I agree with your point Taz2 but to say 'turn away and tell yourself it is just acting' really doesn't help.
If there is a programme about something that is likely to be a trigger you can choose not to watch it but adverts pop up in the middle of programmes and you never know what you are going to get. Once it's been seen it is too late and the phobic can only hope for some damage limitation.
-
:thankyou:
vomiting
buttons
spiders
flies
kittens
daddy-long-legs
heights
caves
being shut in
flying
small furries (My gran hated rats or anything built on similar lines)
Many of our phobias go back to when we lived in Caves and needed to know what was in the back, so many people react to anything that scuttles. Those reactions remain as the flight/fight response. But knowing that doesn't help those with phobias which are not simply a dis-like of things. I avoid pubs or parties where there is alcohol, I can walk past a pub these days in the day-time which is quite an advancement. Most cave dwellers lived as close to the front as possible, in fact many human remains are found at the front ......
DaisyB - did you really mean 'spewed out' ;D ....... I looked at the web-site for 'contacts' and sent the e-mail asking for that particular section to be removed. After all, most people are aware that chemo therapy can have dreadful side-effects, one of the main being ....... :-X
Also, when my Grandad was ill with cancer he was no longer a Grandad :'( ...... he couldn't play with us, go for walks, care for his garden, cuddle us ..... so I think that the advert is somewhat mis-leading anyway.
-
Hasty - I know exactly what happens in real Life but that section of the advert could be removed. How much *is* real Life? Why is a Charity paying a lot of money for an advert. anyway? How much revenue does it pull in? How many people think that the money they hand over in good faith goes to the Advertising Budget? I digress .......
At no point have I suggested that the Advert is pulled but that consideration should be given to viewers!
-
some people can't cope with what actually happens in real life? :-\
This is the sort of unhelpful comment I was referring to in my post. Anyone not affected cannot possibly 'get it'
It has little to do with what is happening but what has happened in the past to trigger the phobic reaction. :(
-
'hate' and 'phobia' are TOTALLY different :bang: :bang: :bang:
Hasty - perhaps watch the advert to see what the Company are trying to put over to the public? I saw it as a way of pulling in money for more Nurses :-\.
Those suffering are already aware of the pros/cons of diagnosis and treatment. I don't want it pushed into my face as it reminds me of my own treatment sessions :-\. I doubt if any re-working is required, the offensive part can be 'cut' ..........
-
When someone is dealing with cancer they can feel as if they have lost themselves. The advert portrays a dad reading to his daughter when, in my opinion, he was well. It reminds us, I think, that the cancer patient suffering side effects is also a person with a life outside of the treatment and this is where Macmillan nurses are so helpful. Giving time and encouragement to us while we are at our lowest.
It is a shame that vomiting may be part of it although not everyone suffers in this way. Maybe a warning just before the ad like they do for flashing images?
Taz
-
I have a long lasting, from childhood, phobia of seeing others vomit and I'm not that keen on doing it myself.
I do understand, and in a real life, real time situation I will genuinely run away.....however, having kids I have had to hold heads and clean up mess....phobic or not.
Whether I am phobic, if someone I care about needs me I will dig deep and just get on with it. I think most of us do actually. Emergencies sometimes happen
I do understand what's being said but I seem to have the ability to put this kind of thing out of my head
Mrs Brown
-
If you are not phobic then of course you won't 'get it' but you can respect and appreciate some things can be difficult for others, and try not to make light of something that has deep impact on the other person however much you feel it is an over reaction.
phobia - an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.
synonyms: abnormal fear, irrational fear, obsessive fear, fear, dread, horror, terror, dislike, hatred, loathing, detestation, distaste, aversion, antipathy, revulsion, repulsion
Emetophobia is a phobia that causes overwhelming, intense anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.
I still stand by my points but, having seen the advert, I have to say after reading this section of the thread, I was surprised at how fleeting the actual scene discussed is. From the reactions I felt sure it was going to be unpleasant and graphic. It was barely a couple of seconds in an advert over a minute long ::)
-
Far too much for me. I've had problems eating today [not because of the Advert.] but can't understand why.
-
CKLD
I haven't read this whole thread yet, but I used to have emetophobia and trust me I had it bad. I can totally relate to days of panic. Currently it's not an issue for me but after seeing my dad die of a heart attack nothing else is scaring me. :-(
But if I was sick I'd still be in a pretty distressed state. The difference though is I'm not terrified anymore. I know now that I would be sick and it would be over in a short while, unpleasant but will pass.
It makes me sound like I was never phobic doesn't it, but I promise you I was. Big time. For decades my whole life revolved around it.
My way out of it was a mixture of things, but a lot of 'exposure.' I don't mean actually being sick all the time exposure, but other stuff, like gradually doing more and more things that I was avoiding, etc.....or eating things I avoided (but carefully and gradually).....If someone else was sick I would maybe walk away slower than before, so not necessarily exposing myself to the thing I feared, but just slowing down the escape, etc.....
Avoidance makes it stronger. Exposure weakens it, but at first it feels like things get worse....and it's about getting through that.
If I'm ill now, I still have a card with certain thoughts written on it, to remind myself of what to think at that time....because my mind will run away with itself when I'm in that state.
I don't think any therapist that delves into the past is necessary, but a therapist who does very good Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is worth their weight in gold.
I've learned that, rather than something terrible happen in my past, my body, when it's in an illness state, tends to also be closer to a panic state. It's that simple. The nervous system responding to the illness is also more twitchy and makes me feel panicky.
So it's been a lot of different insights, therapy, etc, and gradually over time I conquered it. If I was sick again I know I'd absolutely hate it, but I'd also know that I'm not dying and it will pass.
Perhaps one of the most useful things for me too was a drug that is called Buccastem (Stemetol). My doctor trusts me enough to let me carry this around in my bag. I rarely use it but if I were to feel sick I know that one of those drugs will either remove the nausea within about 5 mins, (it really does), or, if I'm really poorly, it will radically take the edge off the feeling and make it more manageable.
Hope some of this helps, you have my sympathy as I've been there and it's still something I grapple with.
-
:thankyou: 'grapple' is a good word. I use an emergency drug when necessary. I've had CBT but my problem began within moments of being born and I lived in an upheaval World with lots of shouting, rows, which caused me to withdraw. Even now raised voices cause my gut to react and my appetite to close down. I have been better in recent years ....... but That ADVERT :beat:
-
So far I have had 5 replies regarding my complaint - every one is passing me to 'the dept that deals with this' ....... I expect each person who opens the computer gets paid ? :-\ ? ...... and the last 2 responses have taken the opportunity of adding what the Charity can offer. I don't want to know that, I want a reply to my complaint >:(
1 told me 'response within 5 working days', the next 'within 2 days', the next 'within 6 days' ......
-
I have now seen the advert....apart from that little bit I thought it was quite inspiring.
Before we loose sight of what's it's about......a man trying and succeeding in being a good daddy to his little girl despite undergoing cancer treatment.
Yep, inspirational.
I know it's hard for you CLKD but try not to let it get to you by going over things.
So many are facing this awful disease and if it encourages just a few then it's worth that second of unpleasantness for me.
Mrs Brown
-
It is a 'blink and you could miss it' bit of an advert that is over a minute long. Some people could have phobia of needles and there is a moment where the 'dad' is having chemo in his arm. If they omit everything that 'some viewers may find distressing' they would not have an advert to show ::)
-
Girls - hope you dont mind me throwing my opinion in on this one :o I have had personal experience of cancer and death more than once. I do understand the importance of raising awareness - but I feel that nowadays boundaries are so blurred on TV. Charities are competing for our money and society has become numb all too often to graphic displays on TV. So to put this into perspective I try to imagine what my grandmother would think (if she were still alive today) and that answers my question. Compassion fatigue is the reason we go so far now with these awareness and money raising Adverts. Where do we stop ?? I think in such cases a delicate balance is required given that this advert will personally trigger dreadful memories for millions of us. And I personally think it is ok to say that sometimes they go too far. CKLD for me this discussion is more about what is/isn't appropriate- in your case I do understand how dreadful you must feel - but what happens if you are watching TV in general? Because realistically if it were to disappear off your screen tomorrow - you can't remove it from every drama, movie, series etc. Isn't there anything you haven't tried yet?? My chiropractor told me about Havening recently for trauma and associated behaviours. I read up on it some loved it - some thought it was quackery.
Hope that doesn't offend anyone
DaisyB x
-
:thankyou: DaisyB, you talk a lot of sense and also have the ability to see the bigger picture.
-
I don't often come across people on TV throwing up ......... even when there's a bad cycling accident, i.e. Tour de France. I don't watch adverts to have the reality shoved into my face! As a medical secretary I am fully aware of what might happen during chemo and I think the most people will know .........
I'm still waiting for an answer from the Company - so far I've had 5 responses as they are passing the buck ....... :-X
This phobia has almost killed me at times. NO amount of therapy will help as it was instigated within hours of my being born. .. and don't get me started on tapping etc., OK if it works for others but it hasn't for me.
I know a qualified psychologist who 'taught' havening ......... then had acute anxiety following trauma, she is now embarrassed that she would ever suggest it.
-
Each to their own CKLD - I tried tapping also - not for me - I like to dabble but sometimes some of these things are too far out and I also feel that it's all too easy to exploit when someone is in need. Dreadful for you.
DaisyB xx
-
Does anyone find that when anxiety strikes that the sense of smell is more acute .........
-
Everything is more acute. All senses are sharpened to help deal with the impending danger the body is getting ready to cope with.
Taz x
-
:thankyou: it was garlic once I had located the smell. Usually it doesn't bother me.