Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Humour => The funny side of menopause => Topic started by: Cazikins on July 01, 2017, 12:54:06 PM
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I've started to get unwanted nuisance phone calls again on our land line from somewhere in India, & as polite as I can be - I tell them I am not interested!!
But they keep phoning back >:( >:( so now when I get one I start speaking in a foreign language. A bit of French, German, Italian even a bit of Croatian. Not sentences just the odd word like gutentag, vas costa das, grus got, zut alors madam, nein, bitte shun, hvala.
The first time I tried it the man asked if I could speak English & I said nein..... he then hung up
It's a lot of fun too.
Cazi xx
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Brilliant Cazikins
:rofl:
Do you use made up words too
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Could we have some words phonetically please ;D
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Great idea - must try it!
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I'd be unlucky enough to get someone who is fluent in many languages. ;D If I don't recognise the number I don't answer.
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I keep them talking. For as long as possible. Asking lots of questions, querying what they're telling me, you name it. After a while they start wanting to escape - probably because they're over their time limit for the call....I keep them talking for a bit longer. Oddly enough while it takes a bit longer at the first go, they never call back a second time...
I also enjoy the "We're calling in connection with an accident you've had" ones - I immediately tell them to supply me with the details of who has told them I've had an accident - and also their company name again, in full please. Again, they usually hang up PDQ and I never hear from them again. :)
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I've said "OH! I must have had a really bad accident as I can't remember any of it!" gone ........
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We get loads of cold calls. I said wait a minute and just took the phone to the toilet and flushed it the other day. I am plucking up courage to find a cheesy song next time..something from the Sound of Music maybe. Any suggestions welcome?
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It was a recorded message last night regarding oven cleaning - "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair"?
Cold calling is illegal in the UK. "We are on the telephone preference service" usually gets rid of them. Singing is a great idea - hello, goodbye, auf wiedersen ..........
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Cold calling is illegal in the UK. "We are on the telephone preference service" usually gets rid of them hello, goodbye, auf wiedersen ..........
It may work if they are calling from the UK but no good if they are calling from India.
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I spent time in Kenya during my teenage years. Maybe I need to brush up on my very limited Swahili. Or maybe the Russian 'O' level I took. However, knowing my luck.........
DH has discovered that telling cold callers at the door or on the phone that we rent our home works, they tend to disappear quickly. We don't rent, but the callers don't know that. I did take one particularly insistent caller at the door who was selling double glazing, the we didn't need any, even our garage and potting shed are double glazed. He didn't believe me. He soon did! We didn't put it in, it was already in situ when we bought our bungalow ;D
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It's 'your computer has a problem Madam' week - so my reply is "I don't have a computer" which brings stunned silence then a click. :D
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CLKD, if you would like the phonetic alphabet I can give it to you. Must admit, it does confuse callers. Phonetically spelling our surname can be interesting, not doing so can lead to some very rude spelling! ::)
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I've waited through so many crackly renditions of the Four Seasons while in endless queues, I like to get my own back by taking unwanted callers to the CD player, where I put Vivaldi on & leave the phone there. OH says he finds two little words tend to do the trick very nicely. The second one being "off". To those who don't know him, he can be a menacing-sounding Scot, so I can vouch for the effectiveness!
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I've found BT Call Protect very good. It's free if you already have Caller Display. BT have already added known nuisance callers to the Blocked list and you can add your own either by viewing online the numbers that have called you or immediately after answering one by pressing 1572 and blocking the last caller.
In response to the accident calls, I still like the " Oh yes, I did have a very serious accident. I was decapitated"
Ariadne xx
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;D
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When they tell me that I have had a Windows security breach, I try to sound as meek and panicky as possible and ask them if they need my password and bank details. Their excitement is palpable.
I pretend to key in whatever they tell me to and pretend to open the files they want me to and when they ask what I can see on the screen I tell them, "pornography" They seem to like that. Then I hang up.
I have also used the decapitated line as mentioned earlier in this thread. They don't click at first and continue to ask for details. Love it!
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We haven't had any for a couple of weeks .......... I feel left out ;D
It was someone ringing about Telephone Preference Service in the middle of last month. Wanted my mobile phone details then my bank details ...... when I pointed out that TPS is a free service there was silence, then "Not the one you have signed up to". I'll be ready for him next time, obviously from India, obviously a scam.
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The sad thing about these overseas call centres is that (according to a documentary I watched a couple of years back) the operators actually aspire to get the jobs. Not because of what they have to do but because the pay is relatively high in their countries.
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Yep. Horses for courses then ........ they know what they are doing when they take the jobs, sometimes I can hear them reading from printed company sheets, I can hear them turning those over ::), I've been known to tell them to 'skip the pages, turn to the end and get to the point' ;)