Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: CLKD on October 21, 2015, 09:00:02 AM
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in 1991: after appendectomy: DH asked if there was anything that he could do to help round the house. I suggested that he swept down the stairs (carpeted in those days) otherwise I could manage. He did it once. As he didn't seem to notice the fluff collecting I ignored it. We had 3 cats and a dog then ::).
His Mother came to stay in the October. "I'll do your stairs down for you ****** " "No, you'll do them down for *** not me. *** offered to help and that was the only thing I asked him to keep clean. He has ignored the dust and fluff since then but if you feel it helps him … " She did the stairs bless her, he didn't notice nor did she tell him that she'd brushed the stairs "for you".
Now when there's dust and fluff I think back to then: if he could live with it at that time we can live with it now ;D.
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Gosh your hard on him CLKD.
Obviously I don't know exactly how things work in your home but you do pick things up from what people say over the years.
From an outside perspective I think you are a very lucky woman to have a hubby that is so patient and caring and looks after you so well.
I have to basically look after myself as I don't have that kind of hubby. It's not that he doesn't care but he is a get on with it person for himself and that extends to me as well. I rarely get asked how I am or how I feel. He just doesn't do that.
If he didn't clean your stairs enough all those years ago I think he has made up for it in spades since.
;D
Honeyb
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;D
It was his Mum's attitude. She thought she was 'doing it for me', well actually - nope. ::)
He knows how to wield a spade too :D
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:rofl: "and getting paid the same" ?
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I dust, himself Hoovers. Hubby does things for me, all I have to do is ask. Only thing I don't ask him to do is cook. His repertoire consists of microwave food, egg, beans, chips. One time when our daughter was coming up for 3 years of age, I ended up in hospital with ectopic pregnancy. Even at the that young age she asked "When are you coming home as I'm fed up eating beans?" Poor kid! ;D
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;D did you then direct cooking from the settee?
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Can't remember. He was a shift worker, so think I probably carried on but at slower pace.
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Oh I get things done if I ask and he is perfectly capable of cooking and does the occasional Sunday roast. However, he never actually sees things that need doing inside. Outside yes, inside no ;D
He is just not very sympathetic to anything much.
Honeyb
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My husband is like yours HB, 'get on with it' type of guy.
Also enjoys the old fashioned idea that he earns majority of the money and is out 11 hours a day, I work less hours so do 'everything' else.
having said that 5 mins ago I emailed him and said my phone is seriously broken now, I have had to restart it 6 times so far today. As I type I got an email back to say a new one is on its way.. so cant complain too much.
if I am sick I get told to rest too, but after I have done the tea, walked the dogs etc - I remember now last time he washed up was when I was bed ridden ::)
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2 or 3 years I think ::) ;D
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Think it's a generational thing....well for mine it is.
I have to say he is tidy in his habits...always puts things in the laundry basket, cleans the sink after he shaves.....but he could be sleeping in sheets that were there for a year, also trawling through foot thick dust and he wouldn't notice.
If I have a cold he will bring me a cuppa, if I'm throwing up he will hold my head.
He does all the garden, the decorating, the car.
He is Mr Fixit for my kids. They always beleive dad will sort it and he generally does.
I don't complain as he does do his bit....just not the hoovering ;D
Mind you I don't fix cars....so ;D
And I also have to say...if you want a man in an emergency then I will hire mine out.....he never ever panics over anything......oh and he does good cuddles too ::)
Honeybun
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Awwww HB!
DIY & my hubby shouldn't be mentioned in same breath! ;D
Men don't notice dust. Himself still can't operate washing machine, but he knows how to fill it! ;D He's good at emptying dishwasher, but leaves some things out for me to put away.
Our son can operate all things in his house. I taught him well! ::) Daughter's partner is opposite, she needs to nag him. His illhealth isn't always a good excuse.
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Good point HB, mine fixes the cars and as IT is his job he keeps all the techno stuff running too. DIY he 'tries' but its really not his thing ::)
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Mine is great at DIY, always has been.
He is an engineer, so most things are over built....or in his words ....made to last.
I really can't complain when it comes to that kind of thing. It's rare we have to pay anyone to do anything as hubby can.
Honeybun
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If you want your husbands to do more around the house then all you need do is go on strike!
It's really not on that in the 21st century men are allowed to get away with not pulling their weight at domestic stuff and behave like children saying they don't know how to do something!
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Good job my hubby didn't strike when he was the one at work and I was the one at home. We would have been in a bit of a mess then ;D
I think we have a fair devision of labour to be honest. I can't do the things he does and it works out ok for us.
Honeyb
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Now that sounds a good division of labour to me.
I could no more go on strike than grow another head.....I think that would be a rotten thing to do.
The next time we had a blocked drain or a flat tire ...is my hubby going to get all "men's lib" on me and go on strike.
Heaven help the couples that do that....not a recipe for a happy marriage ::)
Honeybun
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Many years ago I refused to dust the TV because it was DH's and we had a big argument and I realised just how stupid I was being, and since then we've muddled through. Sometimes I do more than him, other times he does more than me, but it balances out as he does the cooking and I do the cleaning. Oh, and until I injured my arm I washed / hoovered his car, whilst he did the DIY stuff.
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When I first began work I was told that when I could carry that 1 cwt bag of sand up 3 flights of stairs then I could fight for women's lib. ;D ……..
We've never argued about chores. We would rather be out and about ::) …….. it's worked OK so far (40 years :-* and …. )
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You have to come home to a dusty house though ;D
I have one housework day a week. Everything gets done...bathrooms, washing, ironing, bed changing the lot, and then that's it basically for the week.
Then I get to have a tidy house and a bit of time for other things.
Honeybun
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Go on strike ………. how sad is that. A man is only as good as the woman who raised him ;)
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Very sad CLKD, but it takes all sorts I guess.
The type you wouldn't want to come home to with a broken pay packet ;D ::)
Honeybun
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My DH could do it all but as he says, he didn't marry a secretary for nowt ;D. I didn't marry a Chef but I encouraged one: apparently ;)