Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Humour => The funny side of menopause => Topic started by: one year in on December 04, 2011, 05:02:47 PM
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Very clever ;D
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Excellent 8), copied, pasted and sent on.
silverlady x
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Loved it. Excellent!!. ;D
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I was going to try & be clever and answer the same way, but it blew my brains out! ;D
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I was just looking at the funnies tonight & came across this one - quite funny considering the news this week.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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What else do you speak?
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Better than mine then. I tried learning French a few years ago but it went over my head, I could read it fairly well ……
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Just my own language, Br Portuguese, a little English, and a tiny bit of French.
Your English is very good, Menomale. So many people from so many countries speak English the way British people will never speak their languages. I love the diversity of different languages. Long may they be spoken.
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Better than mine then. I tried learning French a few years ago but it went over my head, I could read it fairly well ……
I like this and will copy and paste it to friends. I speak good German and competent Italian. Can also read French and Spanish.
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I started to fall for this ;D
I'm too gullible
Annie X