Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Happytobe on October 23, 2017, 05:58:27 PM
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My periods have stopped now but for the last 10 years of having them they were very heavy. This made me very scared and panicky
My daughter is 18 and her periods seem to be heavy too. I know this is silly but I get in the same anxious panicky state every time she has a period. She has one now and I can't eat or do anything and I'm shaking with fear. I think she will bleed too much and maybe it will become an emergency. I know this is not a reasonable reaction but I can't seem to help it. I'm sorry but could someone reassure me.
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Maybe both go to her GP and discuss what is 'normal'. I had very heavy bleeds with intense pain. Large clots. A 10 day bleed with 10 day break.
Making sure that you both eat well and keep hydrated. Gentle exercise. Appropriate pain relief if necessary.
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I can't say it's as bad as that. The problem is that my daughter won't go to GP unless absolutely necessary due to her OCD. Thank you for replying I'm feeling so frantic.
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Is your daughter able to wear internal protection i.e. Tampax ? I was never able to. I had to wear several pads at once under 2 pairs of knickers, as I would leak/flood. Night times I would lay on a thick towel to protect the bed, again with 2 pads. These needed changing every 2 hours. When I stood up the blood would 'flood' out ........ fortunately the protection in general, caught the flow.
She is 18. An adult. Despite her OCD she will go to the GP if she feels it necessary, or she can get a phone-back by her GP. At her age this is between the GP and herself.
Maybe you need to discover why you react in this way? Is blood alien to you? How were you raised to 'see' monthly bleeds?
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I have health anxiety and it latched itself onto periods. I didn't have this fear until I was 42 until then I wasn't scared.
My daughter is 18 and an adult I agree but due to her issues she finds some things extremely difficult.
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So what would you like to happen? Maybe keep a mood/food/symptom diary for 3 months which should give her some control. What counselling etc. has she had for OCD?
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The problem is my anxiety about her periods. I don't think she would think they were as bad as my anxiety about them is. I just want to be rid of this anxiety really.
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Anxiety can take over. Have you spoken to your GP about symptoms? When does the anxiety affect you?
Of course you worry about your daughter, you're her Mum ::)!
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Yes I have spoken to GP about my anxiety and I have had a course of CBT which was very helpful. We have been through a very difficult 5 years with my daughter and sometimes everything gets on top of me and the old anxiety comes back. I need to revisit all the things I learnt in CBT.
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That isn't easy. For me the anxiety strikes at once: many years ago a Psychologist tried to insist that I had thoughts that triggered the anxiety, well no, actually >:(. The anxiety strikes me and then the thoughts begin!! I left the session, never to return.
I have found deep breathing useful. Also keeping a journal to chart triggers and reactions. Venting released stuff from my brain, onto the paper and away.
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Feeling a bit better today. I did find the CBT useful but as you say it isn't easy to keep it in mind and act on it when in a panic.
It's good you find writing and keeping a journal useful. I like to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings.
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Tnx for the update. Daughter has finished her period yet?
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Yes her period more or less over probably why I feel better. Really need to get prepared for next one by trying the CBT again.
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Start this evening? I used to forget to practice ::) or fall asleep with a cat on my lap.
What's the worst that could happen whilst she bleeds?
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I have catastrophic thinking in regard to periods ie. I fear that the worst you could imagine will happen. CBT suggests that we replace the catastrophic thought with a more realistic one. I do try to do this .. but it's not always easy!
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It isn't easy. Been there ........
What's the worst that could happen when your daughter menstruates?
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It's that time again. My daughter's period and I'm feeling really anxious. I know it's silly and nothing is going to happen to her but I can't get rid of the anxiety. I feel very low and weepy and never feel that I can get much done. A feeling like I'm wading through treacle.
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Even though you know it's irrational; and that nowt is likely to happen; it doesn't stop the anxiety kicking in. You need to speak to your GP about anti-anxiety medication to see if that will help next month, i.e. take it prior to her due date for 2 nights .......
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I don't really want to go down the meds route but I suppose I need to. Life has been hard over the last 5 years and I think it has taken its toll on me.
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What's to lose? If on an an-necssary basis: but I would suggest if you do decide to try a medication that you do so in the weeks you are less anxious so that you 'feel' any effects: you will also find out how long the pill is likely to take to work.
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It's my daughter's period again. Last 3 months been not so bad but this month heavy. Feel really panicky and scared. Please someone tell me she can't due from this....I know that's really extreme thinking. I just can't seem to calm down when she has her period. Sorry.
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No she won't die from a heavy period. Yes you have anxiety about this but try to rationalise it in your mind. The last three months haven't been as bad. I quite often would have a light period one month then a heavy one the next but I have friends and relatives who had very, very heavy periods every month and nothing bad happened to them.
Why doesn't your daughter go on the pill which should make her periods lighter?
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Thanks for replying. I know it's irrational I just don't seem to be able to take in that she will be ok. I doubt she'd go on pill as she has difficulty going to Dr and taking medication. She is on sertraline for anxiety and OCD.
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Hi HappyToBe - stressful situation for you I can see - and I think it's always harder worrying about someone else's health than your own.
I can tell you from personal experience though that it really does take a long while to get to the stage of being an emergency due to over-heavy periods - and by "over heavy" I mean things like going through a super+ tampon AND a max absorbency pad inside an hour (inside 20 minutes at times!) and regularly being in that state for 5 days at a time, and on several occasions having bleeds that lasted up to a month - my first overly heavy period was in July 2014 - and things got steadily worse for several years with symptoms getting worse and worse until I did indeed end up in the emergency situation you fear last October - but that took three years of VERY extreme problems to get to that stage. Absolutely not wanting to trivialise your daughter's situation but I did think that maybe knowing how long it takes to get to that stage might help you worry a little less as it really is highly unusual for things to get to that level. I was in a very severe situation but I'm still here to tell the tail!
Why not suggest to your daughter that she considers taking a daily "WellWoman" or own brand equivalent tablet - the Boots own brand include 100% of the daily requirement of iron which will help, it might also help her to keep a diary of her periods so she really gets a feel for what is normal for her - she could do this in a "notes" app on her smartphone perhaps - most of those can have password protection used to keep them from prying eyes.
If you can get her to go to the Dr's then go with her, and ask about the contraceptive patch which is a good option for someone who'd not great with taking tablets or anything more invasive - I used it for years as a result of a poor memory meaning that taking the pill wasn't a good choice for me, the surgery didn't much like it but I held my ground on it and they did prescribe. It does make periods lighter - MUCH lighter in fact, and regular as clockwork which can also be very helpful to reduce anxiety around them.
If you're not comfortable talking to the GP about anxiety medication for yourself then maybe try something like Rescue Remedy as a starting point? A lot of folk swear by that. I have to say though from what you've said it does sound as though a chat with the GP might be helpful. You might also look at a Scottish NHS website called "Moodjuice" - very helpful indeed on the subject of anxiety.
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Good advice.
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How bothered is your daughter? Does her OCD increase pre-menstruatlly? If so she can access support from groups across the UK ....... that may give *you* some relief. I had very HEAVY, clotty periods: pain beyond words :'( - 10 days bleed, 10 days off, 10 days on - for 5 years.
Still here <wave>