Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: annieb on March 18, 2015, 11:34:06 AM
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Does anyone else suffer from paranoia? Over the past 6 or 7 years since passing 50 and going through the usual menopausal "traumas" I've become increasingly paranoid. I feel some days as though everyone is out to get me and even the slightest thing can set me off like . I know it's stupid and sit and try to talk myself out of it. It's little things like if I make a comment about something and someone disagrees I take it as a personal thing. 10 years ago I'd have been able to have a rational discussion , put my point of across and accept the others point too. Or if I make a mistake at work - years ago I would have apologised, corrected the mistake and put it behind me . Now I get upset and then dwell on things for days afterwards and think everyone sees me as useless. Things go round and round in my head till I want to scream.
I also worry constantly about life in general and things that "might" happen. Particularly at night - I'm going to bed later and later so that I'm so tired I can just almost pass out as I'm afraid that as soon as I try to sleep all these things will come into my head and off I'll go again.
There are so many big things happening in the world yet my head seems just to focus on daft things
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I have surges of guilt as I drop off to sleep most nights: about issues that happened years ago and which I can't alter but somehow I need to. I have a mind-set that if I do something 'wrong', it will be news today, tomorrow it will be chip paper ;)
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I get like that Annieb
I take mistakes I make at work personally and feel totally inadequate, but I am putting that down to lack of confidence in myself, I've never been brimming with the stuff but this phase has stripped me of what little I did have.
Also, if I need to say something about an incident where someone may 'have it in for me' I mention "now if I was paranoid I'd think......" But deep down I really do think they've got it for me !
Xx
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My Psychologist asked me during a session: "What makes you think that you are *so* important that people are watching you?" I was quite insulted ;D
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My Psychologist asked me during a session: "What makes you think that you are *so* important that people are watching you?" I was quite insulted ;D
That made me smile -
I also lie in bed at night going over things from years ago and worrying about them. Even when you know it's just plain daft as there is nothing can be changed .
I used to be Contract Manager for quite a large company and made site visits , organised the warehouse staff and dealt with clients all over the world and wonder sometime where that woman has gone.
I do have some good days where the old self re-appears and I know I can do things but they seem few and far between at the moment. I have considered asking the GP for antidepressants but a little afraid of going down that route after having a very bad reaction to Prozac after my second son was born.
Anyway looks from what you ladies have said that it's just another symptom of meno. I have high hopes that once the weather improves and we can get out more I'll start to feel more in control.
PS on the plus side - haven't had a period for nearly 2 years now and since Christmas the night sweats have almost disappeared!!
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Guilt gets me down :'( - things said, things I did which hurt others …… I need to say 'sorry' …….
Now that I have more empathy I can see where I went 'wrong'. Like you, there is no way I could even consider the Secretarial jobs that I did in my younger years. As for attending Interviews :o :-X …….. perish the thought!
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It sounds as if your anxiety has tipped over into Generalised Anxiety Disorder Annieb. http://www.patient.co.uk/health/generalised-anxiety-disorder-leaflet It's not paranoia though - that is something very different but you can feel that everyone is against you and on edge all of the time.
Taz x :hug:
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I went to a Jumble sale at the weekend and was quietly browsing the bedding as you can pick up good bargains for the animals, my mind was anxious and I felt a little paranoid so I just told myself that I wasn't a member of staff and no-one would even notice me which worked for a while and then out of the blue one of the staff made a bee line for me and very loudly offered to sell me a blanket as he said he had been watching me !!! and noticed I had been looking at bedding lol I did have a laugh about it but yes I get paranoid since in Peri, I tell myself that people are far too busy with their own lives to be worried about me xx
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That's true in a Supermarket setting - have a quiet look round when you have time ;)
That reminds me of an incident several years ago >:( - we were at a Family Do [his side]. I managed to eat some of the meal without problems. I managed to sit and talk with some of his relatives. As we were leaving - early as we had to return home ready for work - His (late) Mother came across and in front of everyone said "I'm glad to see you eating all your dinner today" …….. she wasn't on our table nor was she sitting opposite anywhere close :cuss: …….. HOW DARE SHE! so I made sure that if we ate out together in future she couldn't see what I was/not eating …….
Sorry, rant over ::) …….
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I suffer loads with paranoia and worry, I posted on here not so long Go and someone suggested I had 'catastrophic thinking'. Did a bit of googling (like you do) and feel better already knowing its a recognised condition. I still am paranoid and i still do worry but its reassuring to know.
Clio
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My Psychologist asked me during a session: "What makes you think that you are *so* important that people are watching you?" I was quite insulted ;D
"She"(?) obviously wasn't menopausal!
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Thanks Taz2 I'll have a look at that Had a really bad night last night and felt really sick when I got up this morning. Had a long chat with hubby and he couldn't understand why I hadn't spoken to him about it. He said we all feel fed up sometimes and I explained that was why I had not spoken to him about it as I feel as though he has not idea of what it is like. It's not feeling fed up - it's an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and dread. I think he sees it now and certainly felt better talking to him.
Hey ho - fingers crossed for a better day
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This was in the 1990s way before I had even considered peri-menopause ::) ……...
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Anxiety about others watching me, paranoia, GAD, whatever you want to call it, stops me enjoying the wonderful little shops and eateries in York (where I work) - I'd love to be able to browse the shops at lunchtime, take myself off for nice food ... but there's no chance! I manage large shops (M&S, etc), but the little boutiques - no way. I can just about manage them if there is something specific I know I want to buy before I go in (but even then I'm not comfortable), but browsing on my own is definitely out of the question. And I just can't bring myself to go into a restaurant on my own.
My feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence have been very much to the fore this last week - I had my hair cut last week (had 18 inches lopped off it at Christmas, and have now had a further few inches off so it's just above my shoulders). I've had soooo many kind words about it (family, friends, work colleagues, the girls in the sandwich shop, barrista at Starbucks, checkout operator at ASDA!) ... but I can's shake the feeling they are all just being polite and are actually sniggering behind my back. I know it's awful to think that, but I just can't help it :(
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We live in England Scampi - it takes a LOT for people to offer up a compliment ;) 'we' would rather not make a comment at all, avoiding eye contact. So take it as it is said, with pleasure. 'How kind of you to notice' is enough ;)
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Feeling better today as had good night's sleep and this morning the sun is shining and it's surprising how much of a difference that makes. Solar eclipse spectacular!
I just wanted to say something to Scampi - I understand exactly how you feel (though last time I had about 6 inches cut off my hair no-one noticed - or rather I assumed that was the case as no-one commented until I mentioned it!! HA! could have meant they thought it looked awful)
Anyway Scampi if people in shops (Asda Starbucks etc) are noticing your hair then it must look really really stunning. Imagine how many people they see each day and particularly in Asda (though they are always very welcoming I must say) they are really concentrating on getting your purchases across the scanner and getting you through the checkout. If the person serving you noticed your hair and liked it enough to comment then it must have really caught their eye. As CKLD says in UK we are generally very reserved about commenting on other peoples appearance -
PS small boutiques and dining alone are also not on my list!! Crazy isn't it as I'm sure the small shops would love us all to go in and browse and once you get a couple of folk through the door more will follow and hopefully spend
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Ps meant to say that the nights sleep was help by something I read on here (not sure which section it was in) about focussing on something else when your head is crammed with worries. The person who posted suggested thinking of countries of the world or girls names etc. Start with the letter A and think of 3 and then B and so on throughout the alphabet. I tried countries of the world. Got as far a J and then got stuck ::) but it certainly took my mind of all the rubbish that's in there at the mo :)
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I too don't like going to shops etc alone, and wouldn't ever be In a cafe alone !
Also, re compliments on hair etc...... These people don't know you, so wouldn't give a compliment unnecessarily, it's not as if you've put someone on the spot asking for their opinion. Generally people follow the rule...if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all.
I would take a strangers compliment as they mean it more than a colleague who might feel they ought to give nice feedback
I bet it looks gorgeous xx
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Being the age I am if I see someone looking good I tell them ………. so if you see a woman approaching you with Very Big Grin :o :D ………… I would rather be shopping alone or sitting in a cafe by a window watching the World going by …….
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Went to another jumble sale today, no paranoia this time and came home with a book on Menopause ::)
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Hello ladies.
This thread interested me because even though I am not paranoid I have developed a different attitude to people generally and crowds in particular. For me the thought of shopping with someone else would send me into a panic but alone I am fine.
I think the lack of confidence comes from feeling edgy and vulnerable and is part of the meno journey.
I spoke to a friend the other say who I hadn't seen for about a year. Our circumstances are different in that she is younger than me, has had a full hysterectomy and is on oestrogen only tablets but so many of her symptoms are exactly the same as mine. Chatting to her made me realise the similarities we share when our hormones misbehave even if the problems they cause may vary considerably.
Wishing everyone well.
K.